Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven

I'm sure AWT is married to somebody in that dynasty, I seem to remember him talking about it once. However, I could be making that up.

Don't get me wrong, I can't stand that whole poxy tribe; they're a fantastic example of how little imagination people have about giving new people a chance: they've heard of the Allens, so they buy their books and they take their courses even though none of them are very good (my brother once went out with a v. posh English girl who was sent to Ballymaloe as a kind of finishing school, which could also be part of why I hate them). And that whole court case was an example of that kind of deferential treatment that our supposedly classless country affords to people who behave like old-style Anglo landlord types.

I just like the relish.

The two things that annoy me most about her are:

she tries to cultivate the whole Nigella-sexy thing, but is less sexy than a plaice

she never tries to explain food, just tastes it and says "yes, that's nice"

Actually, part of this might be that she doesn't actually understand what it is she's cooking, she's just trotting out Darina's recipes on telly and in books as the 'sexy' face of the school. (I found an interesting interview when looking for some of the detail about how she got her breaks, where she admits because her mother is Icelandic she is clueless about Irish food and has no attachment to it as she never ate it as a child, and how she just does test cooking for Darina these days at the school.)

I kind of like Rachel Allen*, she shows noobs how easy it is to make cakes.

(*I think this might be crush related, oh dear)

No, you know what it is? He was getting all chummy with Rachel Allen on his programme one morning, complete with doing annoying accent, because his wife is Irish.

I was at the vile sadistic bastard dentist this morning. I have leather tongue and rubber lips. Hate hate hate them. Fuckers.

she never tries to explain food, just tastes it and says "yes, that's nice"

OTM x 100000000000 Neil knows better than to even try and stay in the room with me when she's on because every week I get crosser and crosser with her inability to explain anything. Thank fuck I have Sky Sports back and can watch Soccer AM in the mornings now for my Saturday morning onimoed-TV.

xxxpost NOOOOOO YOU CANNOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HER SHE IS TERRIBLE

He gets "all chummy" with everyone (I think it's worse with Merrilees Parker). We all know he's the one Ch4rli3 Br00k3r was referring to on Scr33nW1p3, right?

Poison Hobbit-related x-post

that whole court case was an example of that kind of deferential treatment that our supposedly classless country affords to people who behave like old-style Anglo landlord types.

That is so fucking OTM!

Onimo, no crushes on the Allens. Aldo basically also OTM in his post.

No, you know what it is? He was getting all chummy with Rachel Allen on his programme one morning, complete with doing annoying accent, because his wife is Irish.

-- accentmonkey, Thursday, 11 October 2007 11:44 (Thursday, 11 October 2007 11:44

He terrifies me, he looks like he's a pig rimming a small ginger kitten :(

Dentists in morning is a good thing because last time I went it was just before pub o'clock and I sat dribbling Guinness all down my chin earlier in the evening than I usually do

kv_lol bringing teh lolz, haha

she never tries to explain food, just tastes it and says "yes, that's nice"

This may well be true, but many more sleb telly chefs don't taste anything in preparation and just assume everything is going to plan - I think that's worse.

Also WTF with English people thinking it's acceptable with the racist accents and stereotypes all the fucking time? I have been on the phone and got it, met people and got it, basically been in a pub and got it. Yes, I am Irish, yes I have a (very faint) accent, yes there were struggles between us in the past (which were not our fault tbh) but FUCK YOU DO NOT DO THE ACCENT OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU IS THAT ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CLEAR!?!

Sorry. Bad day.

Don't ask onimo and I to do Snow Patrol on SingStar round yours then...

Jaysus that was awful to be sure begorra.

You don't count, you're Scots.

Poor Onimo at the dentist. Vent away.

"Encouraged by her family" she goes to cookery school, where she starts seeing and eventually marries the son of the owner.

I am sure this was the plan for my brother's ex. She certainly never seemed to show any interest in having a job or making her way in the world, just attaching herself to a rich bloke.

He gets "all chummy" with everyone

I know, but I get all crawly when he does it about the Irish, because he's kind of patronising about it and I want to smack him upside his gobliny head.

He terrifies me, he looks like he's a pig rimming a small ginger kitten :(

KV!!!!! Please may I steal this description?

Don't ask onimo and I to do Snow Patrol on SingStar round yours then...

It's different when it's Scottish people, or someone you're friends with. My English friends will amuse themselves by saying things like "oh, there she goes again with her pikey little chatter. It's terribly amusing, isn't it?" which is funny, but if anyone I didn't know did it, I would KILL THEM HARD.

Also, I do it to my Scottish mates all the time too. I hope it does not annoy them.

onimo, your eyes are blinded by crushness. she is terrible and knows nothing about food and has a terribly limited vocabulary and is irritating beyond belief.

I'm also finding myself increasingly irritated by nigella and her "ooh, i love crushing these little mounds of nubbliness" style of commentary, but I let her away with it because she makes better food and gives some semblance of knowing what she's doing, even if she does it in a comedy soft-porn style.

I tend to end up talking in a fake Irish accent when I talk to Irish people for too long - it kind of overtakes me by osmosis. I have a lilty sort of Highlandish accent which is often mistaken for Irish anyway, so I blame that. Please no-one Irish hit me for it, it's not intentional.

My dentist is actually a very good dentist, as sadistic evil fuckers go, but I had to get my very back top molar drilled and filled and it took AGES and my jaw was aching and the nurse was absolutely shite with the saliva hoover thingy and kept clamping the fucking thing on my tongue and making me gag. 30 minutes is a long time to have your mouth open for whilst having holes drilled in your face and fighting a gag reflex every 30 seconds.

Vent over, even if I do still have squinty Elvis lips.

KV!!!!! Please may I steal this description?

Feel free... Just remember to add "Copyright 2007 kvlol corporation Inc" after each use please.

onimo, your eyes are blinded by crushness. she is terrible and knows nothing about food and has a terribly limited vocabulary and is irritating beyond belief.

YES!

I tend to end up talking in a fake Irish accent when I talk to Irish people for too long - it kind of overtakes me by osmosis. I have a lilty sort of Highlandish accent which is often mistaken for Irish anyway, so I blame that. Please no-one Irish hit me for it, it's not intentional.

That's fine. I'm talking about the whole "Oooh aren't they lovely with the leprechauns and sure doncha just luv em" it's a real putting-a-person-in-their-place type of thing and drives me fucking mental.

Actually, Trish is right, it only really annoys me when English people do it.

I can do an impression of the carrot-sucking pixie, which basically consists of making a noise like a high-pitched kazoo played backwards.

I'm also finding myself increasingly irritated by nigella and her "ooh, i love crushing these little mounds of nubbliness" style of commentary, but I let her away with it because she makes better food and gives some semblance of knowing what she's doing, even if especially because she does it in a comedy soft-porn style.

Fixed.

I moved around a fair bit when I was young (Bath, South Shields, Portsmouth, Shields again, Windsor, Reading), so my accent has been in/out/up/down/whatever...

Have you become one of those people who is told that they don't have any kind of an accent?

That's fine. I'm talking about the whole "Oooh aren't they lovely with the leprechauns and sure doncha just luv em" it's a real putting-a-person-in-their-place type of thing and drives me fucking mental.

Did you see Dara O Briain the time he was giving out about this very thing on Jonathan Ross's show? He basically said "if I was an Indian person you wouldn't start going "goodness gracious me", would you?"

Dara is my comedy hero.

I didn't but Dara is alright by me. He needs to come back to The Panel. The Northern guy is too gentle.

I had an American accent growing up, my accent has now basically become posh Dublin. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Thing is, Jonathan Ross *would* start going "goodness gracious me" because he's exactly that kind of guy. But a good point well made by Dara, even if made to the wrong person.

Thirded on the love for D O'B, he's pretty funny, which is a good thing in a comedian.

I'm not sure if I'm speaking for all present, but accentmonkey endeared herself to me at last year's ATP when we met up at the Irish pub and said:

"Christ, we went passed this yesterday and they were playing diddley music and I said we're not going in there EVAH!"

in her rather lovely accent.

As an Englishman I have trouble with the Scots (well aldo, onimo and their partners) only in that I find myself copying them and saying 'Aye' all the time, even after I have left them. Trying to explain to SO why I'm saying 'aye' instead of my normal 'yeah, whatever' is a bit difficult.

I like Do'B, too, especially on IQ where he is surprisingly intelligent for a Irishman (joek, kv!)

That should have been QI but I am thick Englishman.

AND A FUCKED ONE AT THAT!!! (joek as well!)

I copy accents as well, I am so bad at doing them though that I never can mock someone correctly...

Also diddley music is the devil. I did see Andy Irvine recently though but it wasn't trad it was Woddy Guthrie. Closest thing to a trad gig I've ever been I think.

Ha ha, my mother always claims I sound like a fishwife.

Copying the speech rhythms and oft-repeated words and even the accents of the people around you is totally normal and acceptable. Jesus, if you put me in a room that was half Scots, half American, I don't think there'd be an Irish speech pattern left in me after an hour.

Doing the equivalent of "oh! look, sounds are coming out, I think it's trying to speak English? What is it, paddy? Would you like some whiskey?" is not.

I like diddley music :-(

Not this diddley music.

Doing the equivalent of "oh! look, sounds are coming out, I think it's trying to speak English? What is it, paddy? Would you like some whiskey?" is not.

I suggest waiting until they give you the whiskey before glassing them.

Fake Irish bar diddley music, yeah, not so good.

Glass them? I could get ten pee for that glass, your honour. I'm having it.

See, the problem I have with this thread is that when everyone has the chat on, I can't leave it and get work done. Feck off all of you!

No, wait, feck off me. Yes, that's more practical.

Ha ha, my mother always claims I sound like a fishwife.

I've always liked Irish accents, dunno why. I have trouble with the harsher Northern Ireland accent sometimes, but even then it depends on who is speaking.

Feck off all of you!

Ah yes, Irish people all speak like Father Ted.

Is is just me, or are Trish's posts more in the Irish idiom since this particular conversation started?

I always read Trish's posts in her accent, especially when they start with "Jesus!" (about half of them :-P)

I think you have a point, Mr Cowpat. I, too, do as onimo does.

To be sure to be sure (xxpost).

Aldo, thanks for tip on graphic novels thread.

Guilty, you're alright by me. Glassing after drinking the drink? There speaks a man with the right attitude!

As I said on the graphic novels thread, I will make an attempt to Why Ess Eye the Alan Moore spoken word albums over the weekend. I've got the interviews he did with Stewart Lee (as interviewee) and Brian Eno (as interviewer) somewhere as well, they're worth it too.

I may be getting slightly burned out on Big Hairy Alang Moore though, about half the anecdotes/theorising on the Mindscape doc I'd seen/heard before.

hm, i'm getting a funny notion that i may actually sound like the begorrah paddy that annoys you guys so much.

interviews he did with Stewart Lee (as interviewee) and Brian Eno (as interviewer) somewhere as well, they're worth it too.

I heard them. It was a series on BBC about who inspired you or something. "Chain reaction" iirc.

That sounds really good Aldo, keep me posted.

Darragh, I doubt it!

Nonsense, Darragh. Unless you actually talk like you're in a Dion Boucicault play, you're fine.

It's not even specifically the racism accent of it that irritates me, nor is it the fact that it's an English person doing it. It's when people make jokes of a kind that are really only acceptable to me when I'm absolutely certain that the intention is good, and I'm not sure of the person's motives.

Like, I remember meeting an uncle of Mister M's at a party one night and we were all talking about how it takes ages to get a driving licence in Ireland, and I said that it had taken me 13 months to get mine. He thought this was hilarious, and for the rest of the evening would say things like "well, don't get Trish to drive you home, it took her over a year to get her licence!" and chuckle away merrily like it was some fantastic joke. I know it's a particular style of humour that some people employ in order to try to create a connection between them and the other person, but it really gets my back up.

Man, so much on this thread. I love all your posts and tales of your exotic lives in pubs and by lovely beaches. Maybe when work finally slows down I'll be able to come into work and leisurely catch up on this thread. Here's to hoping.

FUCK YOU DO NOT DO THE ACCENT OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU IS THAT ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CLEAR!?!

*stops mentally reading Kv's posts in Irish accent*

P, they were giving away Maker Faire tix on KUT this morning. 'Bout to put the headphones on, maybe they'll be giving away more.

Ruby, I shall mail you my address and return the deed with some homemade salsa.

to work now.

My life in pubs is far from exotic. The last time I was at a beach our car broke down and we sat in the car eating chips and looking forlornly at each other and willing it to start again of its own volition without us having to call out the RAC (and, surprisingly, it did, the ignition processes of Renault Lagunas (Lagunae?) having weird ass minds of their own) and it was bloody cold and miserable, but that's Largs for you.

Largs is great

dead ilxor.com made me work today :(

I was just telling someone the very same tragic tale.

We were all in the same boat. Lets hope it doesn't happen again.

Largs is not great when you are in a broken down car and it's cold and you don't have any money and aren't dressed for walking about outside because you thought you were just going for a wee run in the car.