Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven

Oh I miss Promite! Used to get it in Australia, but I always liked Vegemite better.

A likely story.

IT IS TRUE. My inexpert placement of tiles is just making you think otherwise.

xpost trish: then i shall find you promite! :)

but i will also send whittaker's as a bonus.

xxpost luna, my mum used to only buy vegemite: "it tastes JUST LIKE MARMITE, so just eat it!". interestingly, my mum HATED marmite despite the fact they apparently taste the same.

I know none of these mites you speak of.

Mis, how's the wee kittle doing?

She's well, not as sick as her relatives outdoors. She's playful and keeps everyone (dogs included) on their toes. She's black/brown so blends in beautifully with the slate.

I don't think Marmite and Vegemite taste the same at all! (Granted, it's been a while since I've had Marmite, but I eat Vegemite all the time).

i agree! my mother is crazy :/

ms misery, send me your address and i shall send you marmite!

She's well, not as sick as her relatives outdoors. She's playful and keeps everyone (dogs included) on their toes. She's black/brown so blends in beautifully with the slate.

Ha, Rory is like that too. She scourges the dogs, and likes to hide in a brown and black blanket that camouflages her extremely well.

Well that was rubbish. Left after half an hour.

Worst film now seen on Sky Movies = Confetti. Even it it did have Robert Webb's cock in it.

I am now playing scrabulous and drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows in it because I am having a "be good to myself" week (except for watching shite films but I thought it might be funny and nice and it was just rubbish)

I am going to play once in my game with you then get an early (for me) night.

Mother of god, why am I still up? It's not like I haven't seen Bull Durham ten million times.

Ballymaloe Relish

Also funds p43d0ph1l3s. What can you do? It's a nice relish...

Promite sounds v v good.

Where did Beth and Aimurchie get to?

I fucking hate Rachel Allen.

Oh god, she is intensely irritating, and not a very good cook (or, if she is, she doesn't project that image on telly)

I don't think she is either. Isn't she married to Anthony Worrall Thompson? Isn't that why she gets on telly?

Also funds p43d0ph1l3s. What can you do? It's a nice relish...

Also, in fairness to Rachel Allen, neither her nor Darina have ever been convicted of anything. Just because the da is a fucking eejit doesn't mean they haven't a right to make a living.

I don't know where Beth and Aimurchie went either, nor why Nath has stopped posting to this thread. Maybe we are too dull.

Neither she nor Darina, I meant.

Is Nath not having a baby?

I thought she was married to Darina's son. My objection to the whole Ballymaloe thing was the public front they presented. The fact that he got tipped off early to start his defence (e.g. visiting a psychologist about 3 weeks before), they allowed him back into the school to teach bakery and that they just didn't accept how horrific his actions had been. Fuck 'em basically is what I'm trying to say...

She's not married to Anthony Worrall Thompson. There must be some reason she's on the TV though, it's certainly not for her presenting or cooking skills.

xpost

kv_lol OTM about Darina's son, that wiki article states she's Darina's daughter-in-law.

I AM AS IF UNTO GOD IN MY KNOWLEDGE OF TV CHEFS PHEAR ME MORTALZZZ

(or, you can read)

Nath *is* having a baby round about now, I believe she's mentioned it once or twice :-)

Oh, and she posted on the pregnancy thread this morning, so she's not having it right now...

Let's see:

"Encouraged by her family" she goes to cookery school, where she starts seeing and eventually marries the son of the owner.
Worked at their on-site restaurant for a short while then went to work for her mother-in-law.
Brief attempt at catering in Canada failed, and returned to the school.
Someone she was at the school with gave her a food column in a fashion magazine she was editing.
TV show commissioned by a guy who was getting a free course at the school because he was good friends with her pedlo father-in-law, who he'd previously promised a pilot to.

So, no Old Boy's Network there at all.

Rachel Cuntybaws, that is, not Nath.

(or, you can read)

I didn't in this case. I am just amazing.

Her TV presence is particularly bad. This desperate attempt to ingratiate...

I'm sure AWT is married to somebody in that dynasty, I seem to remember him talking about it once. However, I could be making that up.

Don't get me wrong, I can't stand that whole poxy tribe; they're a fantastic example of how little imagination people have about giving new people a chance: they've heard of the Allens, so they buy their books and they take their courses even though none of them are very good (my brother once went out with a v. posh English girl who was sent to Ballymaloe as a kind of finishing school, which could also be part of why I hate them). And that whole court case was an example of that kind of deferential treatment that our supposedly classless country affords to people who behave like old-style Anglo landlord types.

I just like the relish.

The two things that annoy me most about her are:

she tries to cultivate the whole Nigella-sexy thing, but is less sexy than a plaice

she never tries to explain food, just tastes it and says "yes, that's nice"

Actually, part of this might be that she doesn't actually understand what it is she's cooking, she's just trotting out Darina's recipes on telly and in books as the 'sexy' face of the school. (I found an interesting interview when looking for some of the detail about how she got her breaks, where she admits because her mother is Icelandic she is clueless about Irish food and has no attachment to it as she never ate it as a child, and how she just does test cooking for Darina these days at the school.)

I kind of like Rachel Allen*, she shows noobs how easy it is to make cakes.

(*I think this might be crush related, oh dear)

No, you know what it is? He was getting all chummy with Rachel Allen on his programme one morning, complete with doing annoying accent, because his wife is Irish.

I was at the vile sadistic bastard dentist this morning. I have leather tongue and rubber lips. Hate hate hate them. Fuckers.

she never tries to explain food, just tastes it and says "yes, that's nice"

OTM x 100000000000 Neil knows better than to even try and stay in the room with me when she's on because every week I get crosser and crosser with her inability to explain anything. Thank fuck I have Sky Sports back and can watch Soccer AM in the mornings now for my Saturday morning onimoed-TV.

xxxpost NOOOOOO YOU CANNOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HER SHE IS TERRIBLE

He gets "all chummy" with everyone (I think it's worse with Merrilees Parker). We all know he's the one Ch4rli3 Br00k3r was referring to on Scr33nW1p3, right?

Poison Hobbit-related x-post

that whole court case was an example of that kind of deferential treatment that our supposedly classless country affords to people who behave like old-style Anglo landlord types.

That is so fucking OTM!

Onimo, no crushes on the Allens. Aldo basically also OTM in his post.

No, you know what it is? He was getting all chummy with Rachel Allen on his programme one morning, complete with doing annoying accent, because his wife is Irish.

-- accentmonkey, Thursday, 11 October 2007 11:44 (Thursday, 11 October 2007 11:44

He terrifies me, he looks like he's a pig rimming a small ginger kitten :(

Dentists in morning is a good thing because last time I went it was just before pub o'clock and I sat dribbling Guinness all down my chin earlier in the evening than I usually do

kv_lol bringing teh lolz, haha

she never tries to explain food, just tastes it and says "yes, that's nice"

This may well be true, but many more sleb telly chefs don't taste anything in preparation and just assume everything is going to plan - I think that's worse.

Also WTF with English people thinking it's acceptable with the racist accents and stereotypes all the fucking time? I have been on the phone and got it, met people and got it, basically been in a pub and got it. Yes, I am Irish, yes I have a (very faint) accent, yes there were struggles between us in the past (which were not our fault tbh) but FUCK YOU DO NOT DO THE ACCENT OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU IS THAT ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CLEAR!?!

Sorry. Bad day.

Don't ask onimo and I to do Snow Patrol on SingStar round yours then...

Jaysus that was awful to be sure begorra.

You don't count, you're Scots.

Poor Onimo at the dentist. Vent away.

"Encouraged by her family" she goes to cookery school, where she starts seeing and eventually marries the son of the owner.

I am sure this was the plan for my brother's ex. She certainly never seemed to show any interest in having a job or making her way in the world, just attaching herself to a rich bloke.

He gets "all chummy" with everyone

I know, but I get all crawly when he does it about the Irish, because he's kind of patronising about it and I want to smack him upside his gobliny head.

He terrifies me, he looks like he's a pig rimming a small ginger kitten :(

KV!!!!! Please may I steal this description?

Don't ask onimo and I to do Snow Patrol on SingStar round yours then...

It's different when it's Scottish people, or someone you're friends with. My English friends will amuse themselves by saying things like "oh, there she goes again with her pikey little chatter. It's terribly amusing, isn't it?" which is funny, but if anyone I didn't know did it, I would KILL THEM HARD.

Also, I do it to my Scottish mates all the time too. I hope it does not annoy them.

onimo, your eyes are blinded by crushness. she is terrible and knows nothing about food and has a terribly limited vocabulary and is irritating beyond belief.

I'm also finding myself increasingly irritated by nigella and her "ooh, i love crushing these little mounds of nubbliness" style of commentary, but I let her away with it because she makes better food and gives some semblance of knowing what she's doing, even if she does it in a comedy soft-porn style.

I tend to end up talking in a fake Irish accent when I talk to Irish people for too long - it kind of overtakes me by osmosis. I have a lilty sort of Highlandish accent which is often mistaken for Irish anyway, so I blame that. Please no-one Irish hit me for it, it's not intentional.

My dentist is actually a very good dentist, as sadistic evil fuckers go, but I had to get my very back top molar drilled and filled and it took AGES and my jaw was aching and the nurse was absolutely shite with the saliva hoover thingy and kept clamping the fucking thing on my tongue and making me gag. 30 minutes is a long time to have your mouth open for whilst having holes drilled in your face and fighting a gag reflex every 30 seconds.

Vent over, even if I do still have squinty Elvis lips.

KV!!!!! Please may I steal this description?

Feel free... Just remember to add "Copyright 2007 kvlol corporation Inc" after each use please.

onimo, your eyes are blinded by crushness. she is terrible and knows nothing about food and has a terribly limited vocabulary and is irritating beyond belief.

YES!

I tend to end up talking in a fake Irish accent when I talk to Irish people for too long - it kind of overtakes me by osmosis. I have a lilty sort of Highlandish accent which is often mistaken for Irish anyway, so I blame that. Please no-one Irish hit me for it, it's not intentional.

That's fine. I'm talking about the whole "Oooh aren't they lovely with the leprechauns and sure doncha just luv em" it's a real putting-a-person-in-their-place type of thing and drives me fucking mental.

Actually, Trish is right, it only really annoys me when English people do it.

I can do an impression of the carrot-sucking pixie, which basically consists of making a noise like a high-pitched kazoo played backwards.

I'm also finding myself increasingly irritated by nigella and her "ooh, i love crushing these little mounds of nubbliness" style of commentary, but I let her away with it because she makes better food and gives some semblance of knowing what she's doing, even if especially because she does it in a comedy soft-porn style.

Fixed.

I moved around a fair bit when I was young (Bath, South Shields, Portsmouth, Shields again, Windsor, Reading), so my accent has been in/out/up/down/whatever...

Have you become one of those people who is told that they don't have any kind of an accent?

That's fine. I'm talking about the whole "Oooh aren't they lovely with the leprechauns and sure doncha just luv em" it's a real putting-a-person-in-their-place type of thing and drives me fucking mental.

Did you see Dara O Briain the time he was giving out about this very thing on Jonathan Ross's show? He basically said "if I was an Indian person you wouldn't start going "goodness gracious me", would you?"

Dara is my comedy hero.

I didn't but Dara is alright by me. He needs to come back to The Panel. The Northern guy is too gentle.

I had an American accent growing up, my accent has now basically become posh Dublin. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Thing is, Jonathan Ross *would* start going "goodness gracious me" because he's exactly that kind of guy. But a good point well made by Dara, even if made to the wrong person.