guys, heaven is for real!

like behind every crazy speaking-in-tongues toddler there's a Joe Jackson with a big stick

And does that mean everyone is the same age in heaven

i know, you should at least be able to choose what form you want to take from moment-to-moment, avatar-like.

Fred at Slacktivist has written about this kinda thing before, about the fucked-up dogmatic ideology subgenre that holds that all fertilized eggs are ensouled at the moment of conception. I mean, how fucked up would it be to encounter something whilst wandering about Heaven you never knew, much less never had any brain tissue on this plain of existence.

I remember there was a movie in like the eraly 90s where billy crystal dies and goes to heaven. he hangs out around a salad bar and talks with a black woman before he goes back to earth? I think I saw this when I was like, 6 or 7.

when harry ate salad

okay, looking at billy crystal's filmography it probably wasn't billy crystal.

but I swear that there is some movie, where somebody dies and goes to heaven and eats salad.

Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks?

And does that mean everyone is the same age in heaven

It was sometimes part of Christian mythology (medieval period maybe?) that everyone was 33 in heaven, as that was the age of Jesus at his death. I suppose the thinking was that, in order for the sacrifice to be greatest, Jesus had to die at the peak of his life. But I imagine 21st century '33' is nicer than 10th century, or 1st century.

http://img858.imageshack.us/img858/8769/jesusp.jpg

seems to be from the right time period, right plot - probably is! will have to watch to see if it involves salad, if there's conclusive proof that there's salad in heaven. xp

thank you based on a true story god

― Buff Orpington (Abbbottt), Friday, March 11, 2011 11:43 PM (Yesterday)

lol

dayo i think your confusion is attributable to the heavenly salad bar's sneeze guard being made out of crystal

it's funny that every archetype of how Jesus looks has him resembling a roadie for Allman Brothers

think having the surname Burpo is probably convincing proof that there is no god

http://img864.imageshack.us/img864/1238/littleburpou.jpg

i wanna put that dad's head in a vice and watch as his eyes pop out.

Why are there never any OBE memoirs about people who go to Hell and come back?

There are plenty of books on trips to hell.

This is a famous one: http://www.amazon.com/23-Minutes-Hell-Bill-Wiese/dp/1591858828/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1299939286&sr=8-1.

The guy built a whole career out of it, going around the country lecturing about it: http://www.soulchoiceministries.org/

for some reason i thought that Amazon link would go to Dante's Inferno (though I don't know if the guy in that book ever came back??)

not only did he come back but he managed a couple of sequels

He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride.

goldfrapp

The book from Rawlings (mentioned upthread) is interesting too: http://www.amazon.com/Hell-Back-After-Startling-Evidence/dp/0785275347/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299941305&sr=8-1

The claim to authority is that Rawlings was not a religious person himself, giving the impression of scientific objectivity. But no ground is as shaky as NDE. It is my experience that no Christian likes to talk about Muslims who met Mohammad on their trip to heaven and back.

Me: "This fucking book is #1 on the non-fiction bestseller list!"
Wife: "It's non-fiction?"

he had like sea blue eyes and shit

his smile uh lit up the heavens

yeah

"omg wow"

if jesus has a horse that only he can ride doesnt that make heaven less than heavenly for those who wish to ride that damn horse ~think abt it~

is it heaven for that horse?

im sorry but this thread def missed a trick by not making fun of child preacher #7 and #4. #1 just depresses the shit out of me and they should have a horror movie starring #2. btw lol.

the burpo kid reminds me of father jack's coached responses [via the holy stone of clonrichert]

does this lady talk to everybody like they are somebody bothering her on the bus or is it just bc these ppl are obviously scam "artists" she has to go along w/.

a

the fox shikse's condescending uptalk shouldn't be mistaken for cynicism afaict, guess she 'wants to believe'

"just so amazing how you went to heaven and hung out w/ 20 smthings and saw yr mom on the phone"

makes me think of

spirits/angels/ghosts/deities who watch people bathe/get it on/P00P/masturbate

Burpo: The Movie

He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride

I would have thought that Jesus would be riding a Segway these days.

they made a movie

I was so hoping this was Burpo but apparently it's just Malarkey.

http://www.salon.com/2015/01/16/boy_who_came_back_from_heaven_he_didnt_go_to_heaven_after_all/

considering their last name, i think God had the last laugh

also: least surprising URL ever?