pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

5 years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

if anything, that reads like a good reason not to check out the album....

stephen, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

richter scale is logarithmic xpost

but kudos nonetheless

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah sorry the "actually" sounded like I was disagreeing when it more of an "yeah and" thing

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

No band has marked indie's prog revival more definitively than Battles: Their debut, Mirrored, took rock for a set of puzzle pieces, but was ultimately defined by its pictorial sensibility-- each song felt like a cartoon soundtrack-- and the incorporation of jokes into the most historically humorless music in the known world.

latebloomer, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

wtf, wtf -- wtf? -- wtf!

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

the incorporation of JOKES

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

ya i saw that too... pretty lazy writing

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

How can you get paid to write if you don't know what "but" means?

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

That bothers me more in a semantic sense: I think the album has a sense of humor, sure, but I don't know what "jokes" refers to in a largely instrumental piece of work.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

joeks, bruv

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

You can here an interpolation of classic knock-knock jokes in "Atlas".

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

<i>jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

-- YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (10 minutes ago) Link</i>

"jokes" was horrible word choice on my part--john is right--but come on, do you really think that having a punny song title is the same as making music that is formally and sonically <i>humorous</i>? eh. don cab always struck me as definitively unfunny, they just tried to compensate with SURREAL HEADLINES.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

Ha, I didn't even read the review, so I didn't know it was you, Mike.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you're right, 'but' wasn't a great choice. i think the idea was to say that though it had this puzzle-like quality--you could talk about how the parts fit together, like everyone does in a math-rock review--it was, for me, defined by these more abstract qualities: its sense of humor, its ability to be pictorally evocative. sure, i get what you're saying.

but seriously--human being here, willing to engage, bristles as asinine comments like the "knock-knock joke" one. furthermore--and i'd never slag scott or mark because i know they're incredibly busy guys--i think you bring the same charges to an editor. just saying.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

sorry, you *could* bring the same charges. lord i grow weary of life's endless ironies.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm just glad you're writing regularly.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

I think I'm pretty much firmly on record as someone who thinks there are a lot of editors out there who aren't doing what they should. This mostly stems from a desire to be an editor (ha).

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

Joke: pretending "Atlas" has a different lyric when he is very clearly singing

people like to
people like to
eat a sandwich

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:35 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and there i thought you were just aping my ignorance and carelessness.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

(xpost - that's not actually funny, of course: people do like them some sandwiches)

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

i always heard the "eat a sandwich" bit as "penis terror"

ciderpress, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

The show I saw, when his guitar player tried to rub his belly he scratched him hard enough to draw blood. Lots of gasps then applause.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 14:01 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

let's focus on the bizarre mixed metaphor there

socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 14:06 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

one thing i love about cats is how they just snap back into cool focus like *that*

socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 24 September 2014 14:07 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

I like the phrasing of the headline "Kendrick Lamar freestyles for six minutes on Power 106, gets interviewed." As if the interview happened because he freestyled for six minutes. "WHO ARE YOU? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

da croupier, Wednesday, 24 September 2014 16:15 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

"tell. us. more."

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 29 September 2014 04:00 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

gotta say that's the first time I've seen U2 accused of the music crime equivalent of using a time machine for the purposes of incest

Laughed hard

Re-Make/Re-Model, Monday, 29 September 2014 14:38 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Oasis
(What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Big Brother; 1995/2014
By
Stuart Berman
; September 29, 2014
8.9
Best New Reissue

Find it at:
Insound Vinyl Amazon MP3 & CD

marcos, Monday, 29 September 2014 14:43 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

link is broken

Evan, Monday, 29 September 2014 14:45 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Although "Chimes" may mark a step forward in one regard, it's also static in terms of tempo. The remix provided by prolific UK producer Gammer that bookends the EP suffers from the same problem: it's sped up and flecked with added percussion, but it also lacks a push-pull velocity change.

this is a very weird criticism.

festival culture (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 15:20 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i hate how dance songs don't just randomly change tempos in the the middle of the song

bozack horseman (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 15:57 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

whoever wrote that clearly has no idea who Gammer is otherwise they would have noted how incongruous it is to have a happy hardcore doyen remixing Hudson Mohawke

(the preview of it on Beatport sounded neat just now fwiw!)

well-behaved wingmen really hate Mystery (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 17:48 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

For five years, PC Worship have been the sort of amorphous New York ensemble that can only be defined by a series of question marks. Is this an improv noise collective? A "mutant soul band"? A casual experiment in home-recording? If so, why is their loft called Le Wallet? Did they really all meet as New School jazz majors? Is it true they build their own instruments? And why is one called "the shitar"?

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/19845-pc-worship-social-rust/

Indexed, Friday, 3 October 2014 18:45 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

PC Worship is, in essence, a twisted, low-pitched vision of subterranean psychedelia—variously made of bad-moon-lit trash-punk, droning minimalism, prepared pianos, and Albert Ayler-worshipping sax freak-outs

Indexed, Friday, 3 October 2014 20:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

downloading

please delete outrageous tanuki crappyposter (wins), Friday, 3 October 2014 20:18 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

for real tho

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 6 October 2014 06:09 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

PC Worship rules so far!! thanks pitchfork!

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 7 October 2014 20:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Get into Dreebs if you haven't already too

Life is full of shopportunities (fgti), Tuesday, 7 October 2014 20:13 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

ya holy shit this pc monster is rad. even through one earbud at work

global tetrahedron, Tuesday, 7 October 2014 20:21 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

pc worship is fucking dope.

billstevejim, Friday, 10 October 2014 04:55 (1 week ago) Permalink

"Message boards have always been my favorite mode of communication" - Owen P.

<3 <3 <3

Karl Malone, Friday, 10 October 2014 14:33 (1 week ago) Permalink

Bob Mould

Do you remember your first time using the internet?

Yes

Where were you?

My office in Austin, Texas

How did you access it?

AOL 14.4K

What did you search for?

Porn

What was your first impression?

Slow

marcos, Friday, 10 October 2014 14:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

I loved that one so much

rad het chilly poppers (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 10 October 2014 15:28 (1 week ago) Permalink

this reads like it should be in forbes or something

Hell Can Wait is a debut for rapper Vince Staples, but it’s really a refinement, the end result of a years long search for the right producer. His jump to Def Jam is a case study in the enduring merit of good old-fashioned artist development.

socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 14 October 2014 14:05 (1 week ago) Permalink

It's their first hiphop bnm of the year, and the first half of the review is about how Vince Staples dislikes the rest of hiphop...

Frederik B, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 14:07 (1 week ago) Permalink

I feel like I'm watching a kid build a sandcastle at the same time he's kicking it down.

fgti, Friday, 17 October 2014 04:52 (5 days ago) Permalink

That new Parkay Court song is a Teenage Cool Kids cover.
But the reviewer doesn't know it I guess..

nostormo, Friday, 17 October 2014 10:08 (5 days ago) Permalink

Isn't the singer of Teenage Cool Kids the singer of Parkay Farts?

Position Position, Friday, 17 October 2014 14:05 (5 days ago) Permalink


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