pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

five years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

if anything, that reads like a good reason not to check out the album....

stephen, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

richter scale is logarithmic xpost

but kudos nonetheless

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

yeah sorry the "actually" sounded like I was disagreeing when it more of an "yeah and" thing

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

No band has marked indie's prog revival more definitively than Battles: Their debut, Mirrored, took rock for a set of puzzle pieces, but was ultimately defined by its pictorial sensibility-- each song felt like a cartoon soundtrack-- and the incorporation of jokes into the most historically humorless music in the known world.

latebloomer, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

wtf, wtf -- wtf? -- wtf!

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

the incorporation of JOKES

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

ya i saw that too... pretty lazy writing

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

How can you get paid to write if you don't know what "but" means?

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:51 (nine years ago) Permalink

jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

That bothers me more in a semantic sense: I think the album has a sense of humor, sure, but I don't know what "jokes" refers to in a largely instrumental piece of work.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

joeks, bruv

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

You can here an interpolation of classic knock-knock jokes in "Atlas".

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

<i>jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

-- YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (10 minutes ago) Link</i>

"jokes" was horrible word choice on my part--john is right--but come on, do you really think that having a punny song title is the same as making music that is formally and sonically <i>humorous</i>? eh. don cab always struck me as definitively unfunny, they just tried to compensate with SURREAL HEADLINES.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

Ha, I didn't even read the review, so I didn't know it was you, Mike.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you're right, 'but' wasn't a great choice. i think the idea was to say that though it had this puzzle-like quality--you could talk about how the parts fit together, like everyone does in a math-rock review--it was, for me, defined by these more abstract qualities: its sense of humor, its ability to be pictorally evocative. sure, i get what you're saying.

but seriously--human being here, willing to engage, bristles as asinine comments like the "knock-knock joke" one. furthermore--and i'd never slag scott or mark because i know they're incredibly busy guys--i think you bring the same charges to an editor. just saying.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

sorry, you *could* bring the same charges. lord i grow weary of life's endless ironies.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'm just glad you're writing regularly.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think I'm pretty much firmly on record as someone who thinks there are a lot of editors out there who aren't doing what they should. This mostly stems from a desire to be an editor (ha).

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

Joke: pretending "Atlas" has a different lyric when he is very clearly singing

people like to
people like to
eat a sandwich

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:35 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and there i thought you were just aping my ignorance and carelessness.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

(xpost - that's not actually funny, of course: people do like them some sandwiches)

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:39 (nine years ago) Permalink

i always heard the "eat a sandwich" bit as "penis terror"

ciderpress, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

Socioeconomic class issues don't account for the hate - being shitty does - but Nickelback fans I nonetheless suspect firmly fall into the same socioeconomic class as fans of the band's hard rock/hair metal/AOR etc. predecessors. Which is to say, white working class, a familiar phrase these days. They're not necessarily deserving of disdain, but they do get mocked, and I'd argue get mocked for stereotypical socio economic class signifiers before musical taste. That is, for looking like Nickelback fans first, and being Nickelback fans second.

I guess I'm unconvinced that Nickelback's audience belongs to a class that is less wealthy and powerful than the that of the people who hate Nickelback, which is the kind of 'classism' that would most concern me. (I think I would still hold to this if it is true that their audience largely belongs to the white working class, as it is defined here, i.e. ≈64% of the white population in the US, privileged relative to the non-white working class, predominantly urban/suburban, and pretty diverse in employment).

My Body's Made of Crushed Little Evening Stars (Sund4r), Monday, 13 February 2017 00:48 (one week ago) Permalink

than the that of the people

My Body's Made of Crushed Little Evening Stars (Sund4r), Monday, 13 February 2017 00:48 (one week ago) Permalink

i'm pretty sure a large portion of nickelback's adult audience makes more money than me. they look like solid citizens.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2017 01:08 (one week ago) Permalink

there are lots of people who just want solid dependable ram tough slightly anonymous no-frills no-surprises music and it speaks to their solid sense of self in language that they understand (or bolsters their lack of strength and hey me too) and don't need to think about it too hard because its just music and it serves a purpose and pumps you up or soothes you when you are feeling blue in the car after work and there is too much traffic. sometimes i envy people who just use music for very specific times and purposes and don't obsess over it and make a big deal out of things. though they probably obsess over other things. like fishing poles. the right kind of fishing poles. tires. i hear my neighbors next door talking about tires sometimes. it's weird that i feel separate and apart from normal white folks but i just didn't grow up with christ or even normalcy and i know that we all eat a lot of chicken and potatoes but i often feel like i am passing when i talk to them. plenty of great normal people out there though. i'm not selling them short. i talk to them from time to time when they want to sell me their dead grandma's records. (and i'm also not saying that they don't feel deeply about the songs and artists they like. i have no doubt that they do.)

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2017 01:25 (one week ago) Permalink

also: i am watching every episode of Friends on Netflix (blizzards, snow days, february...) and that one where they go to the Hootie concert still strikes me as weird for some reason? i don't know why. i guess it makes the most sense for Ross. maybe just because they're in new york? but they were hootie's demo kinda.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2017 01:30 (one week ago) Permalink

Scott, sounds about right. Also, if you're in Canada, they play this stuff on radio as part of Canadian content standards, and a lot of people think radio = what's in. Obvious point I guess.

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Monday, 13 February 2017 01:39 (one week ago) Permalink

i was impressed by the grizzled guy in his 50's who was looking for CDs yesterday who came up and said "Do you have any Flo Rida, Toto, or Survivor...?"

i do like surprises.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2017 01:40 (one week ago) Permalink

as far as Canada big goes, i'd rather listen to The Stampeders. talk about huge.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2017 01:43 (one week ago) Permalink

I am glad Ross brought up cancon because I saw a couple people on twitter being all "nickelback is fine" and realized they were subject tof our neighbor's cultural sponsorship regime

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:36 (one week ago) Permalink

i was impressed by the grizzled guy in his 50's who was looking for CDs yesterday who came up and said "Do you have any Flo Rida, Toto, or Survivor...?"

i do like surprises.

― scott seward, Monday, February 13, 2017 1:40 AM (nine hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd be disappointed if you didnt give this man a big hug.

Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 13 February 2017 11:39 (one week ago) Permalink

BONKERS! B-O-N-K-E-R-S!

http://pitchfork.com/news/71539-animal-collectives-new-song-is-kinda-bonkers-listen/

Οὖτις, Monday, 13 February 2017 16:52 (one week ago) Permalink

possibly the most irritating band on the planet

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Monday, 13 February 2017 17:05 (one week ago) Permalink

Because of their music, because of the critical discourse that surrounds it or both?

pomenitul, Monday, 13 February 2017 17:08 (one week ago) Permalink

everything

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Monday, 13 February 2017 17:11 (one week ago) Permalink

the visual design too

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Monday, 13 February 2017 17:11 (one week ago) Permalink

maybe even especially

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Monday, 13 February 2017 17:11 (one week ago) Permalink

but is there anything inherently good in nickelback's sound

F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 13 February 2017 18:28 (one week ago) Permalink

ahahah i didn't even make the connection when I heard the new song, the AC is appealing directly to p4k now...

flappy bird, Monday, 13 February 2017 18:31 (one week ago) Permalink

These five words in my head
Ain't learned another chord yet

Neanderthal, Monday, 13 February 2017 18:50 (one week ago) Permalink

Nickelbonkers!

duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Monday, 13 February 2017 19:02 (one week ago) Permalink

Misread that as 'Nice bonkers!'

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 19:07 (one week ago) Permalink

Just popping in to say that the pic on this Grammy piece is fucking amazing

fgti, Monday, 13 February 2017 19:14 (one week ago) Permalink

the trophy might as well be one of those cartoon time-bombs with the words WHITE PRIVILEGE emblazoned on it.

evol j, Monday, 13 February 2017 19:19 (one week ago) Permalink

is it true The Pitchfork Review is over?

Frozen CD, Friday, 17 February 2017 03:39 (four days ago) Permalink

Chad Ubovich is already a proven guitar hero, having played in Fuzz and with Mikal Cronin

really stretching the definition of "guitar hero" here, guys

Wimmels, Friday, 17 February 2017 13:14 (four days ago) Permalink

Love that classic Ubovich tone

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 17 February 2017 14:22 (four days ago) Permalink

i mean, he does rip and he's played in several good bands

alpine static, Friday, 17 February 2017 17:49 (four days ago) Permalink


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