pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (12 years ago) Permalink

5 years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

if anything, that reads like a good reason not to check out the album....

stephen, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

richter scale is logarithmic xpost

but kudos nonetheless

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah sorry the "actually" sounded like I was disagreeing when it more of an "yeah and" thing

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

No band has marked indie's prog revival more definitively than Battles: Their debut, Mirrored, took rock for a set of puzzle pieces, but was ultimately defined by its pictorial sensibility-- each song felt like a cartoon soundtrack-- and the incorporation of jokes into the most historically humorless music in the known world.

latebloomer, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

wtf, wtf -- wtf? -- wtf!

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

the incorporation of JOKES

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

ya i saw that too... pretty lazy writing

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

How can you get paid to write if you don't know what "but" means?

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

That bothers me more in a semantic sense: I think the album has a sense of humor, sure, but I don't know what "jokes" refers to in a largely instrumental piece of work.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

joeks, bruv

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

You can here an interpolation of classic knock-knock jokes in "Atlas".

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

<i>jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

-- YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (10 minutes ago) Link</i>

"jokes" was horrible word choice on my part--john is right--but come on, do you really think that having a punny song title is the same as making music that is formally and sonically <i>humorous</i>? eh. don cab always struck me as definitively unfunny, they just tried to compensate with SURREAL HEADLINES.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

Ha, I didn't even read the review, so I didn't know it was you, Mike.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you're right, 'but' wasn't a great choice. i think the idea was to say that though it had this puzzle-like quality--you could talk about how the parts fit together, like everyone does in a math-rock review--it was, for me, defined by these more abstract qualities: its sense of humor, its ability to be pictorally evocative. sure, i get what you're saying.

but seriously--human being here, willing to engage, bristles as asinine comments like the "knock-knock joke" one. furthermore--and i'd never slag scott or mark because i know they're incredibly busy guys--i think you bring the same charges to an editor. just saying.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

sorry, you *could* bring the same charges. lord i grow weary of life's endless ironies.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm just glad you're writing regularly.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

I think I'm pretty much firmly on record as someone who thinks there are a lot of editors out there who aren't doing what they should. This mostly stems from a desire to be an editor (ha).

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

Joke: pretending "Atlas" has a different lyric when he is very clearly singing

people like to
people like to
eat a sandwich

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:35 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and there i thought you were just aping my ignorance and carelessness.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

(xpost - that's not actually funny, of course: people do like them some sandwiches)

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

i always heard the "eat a sandwich" bit as "penis terror"

ciderpress, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

excitedly

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 20 August 2014 17:14 (1 week ago) Permalink

having looked at all 2 million of the albums on the best album list i keep thinking that the cumulative effect is much worse than any of the specific albums listed cuz i like a bunch of these havent heard more and indifferent to the rest. i can only spot like three albums i think are really bad although there are a few i kindof assume suck but have never bothered with. but as a whole it feels p culturally illiterate and out-of-touch like in my memory these lists tend to be pretty interesting as statements about 'what we think of music now' but i guess because its about 'music now' basically anyway its not that exciting. idk this is a list of records thats almost as someone-who-works-in-advertising as the user-generated list of a few years ago except it has beyoncé on it

also i really like that second M83 cd a lot and would put it pretty high on 00s list

dark sorcerer wallenstein (Lamp), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 17:16 (1 week ago) Permalink

did M83 make any of these lists? i was listening to them yesterday. would rather m83 than lcd.

Hurry Up We're Dreaming showed up at 22 as well.

MarkoP, Wednesday, 20 August 2014 17:19 (1 week ago) Permalink

That album was too yelpy and melodramatic for me. I liked the whisper-vocals against building crescendo dynamic of the early albums much better. Seemed more measured.

Evan, Wednesday, 20 August 2014 17:55 (1 week ago) Permalink

i really like their videos too. would buy an M83 video comp. i find if i listen to a few songs at a time they sound great. whole albums can be a bit much. too rich or something. i like their "vision" though.

scott seward, Wednesday, 20 August 2014 17:59 (1 week ago) Permalink

Hurry Up We're Dreaming was a jump off a cliff in terms of quality imo

dem bow dem bow need calcium (seandalai), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 18:19 (1 week ago) Permalink

haven't heard a double album in a while that was more needlessly double

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 18:26 (1 week ago) Permalink

i think i like m83 but they give me major Pentacostal/Charismatic vibes (yes i know they're from France)

brimstead, Wednesday, 20 August 2014 22:28 (1 week ago) Permalink

At some point (I can't remember which albums it happened between) M83 went from a 2+ person collaborative affair to an unchecked solo project.

Everyone's a closet ned. (Johnny Fever), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 22:34 (1 week ago) Permalink

Bittersweet pleasure that a story about two jilted 'mos live-tweeting The Little Mermaid got more pick-up than Pitchfork's fuck-all-queers lists

faghetti (fgti), Thursday, 21 August 2014 03:38 (6 days ago) Permalink

fuck-all-queers lists?

Van Horn Street, Thursday, 21 August 2014 04:29 (6 days ago) Permalink

with the exception of the blockbusters most of this stuff is either out of my wheelhouse, tried and denied or universally beloved. I'm gonna try that spotify singles list and see what a straight listen does to me.

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 21 August 2014 05:03 (6 days ago) Permalink

also re:tracks Pitchfork really has its own brand of popism - no Avicii, no Pitbull?

niels, Thursday, 21 August 2014 06:49 (6 days ago) Permalink

xxp I'm saying that it's bittersweet, to see a website that used to provide queer artists some agency, has now embraced a Weingarten-style "no girls, no queers" policy, to see how little people are interested in reading their 40 words on Clams Casino, in comparison to a series of innocuous tweets from Baths and Grizzly Bear.

faghetti (fgti), Thursday, 21 August 2014 10:41 (6 days ago) Permalink

I know. When they announced that policy, I was like, "Hold up there, guys--this is just wrong!"

Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Thursday, 21 August 2014 12:01 (6 days ago) Permalink

that twitter article is the worst, what's up online journalism lol is it parody? http://pitchfork.com/news/56393-grizzly-bears-ed-droste-and-baths-live-tweet-the-little-mermaid-highlights/

but then again I never got why they post daily updates on what bands perform live on what talkshows/festivals - they might consider dedicating a site to that instead of flooding the newsfeed

niels, Thursday, 21 August 2014 12:10 (6 days ago) Permalink

Imagine that I have a point and review the facts?

faghetti (fgti), Thursday, 21 August 2014 12:27 (6 days ago) Permalink

also re:tracks Pitchfork really has its own brand of popism - no Avicii, no Pitbull?

― niels, Thursday, August 21, 2014 2:49 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

call all destroyer, Thursday, 21 August 2014 12:28 (6 days ago) Permalink

ahahahahahaaaa

imago, Thursday, 21 August 2014 12:47 (6 days ago) Permalink

lux aeternissima

imago, Thursday, 21 August 2014 12:48 (6 days ago) Permalink

Imagine that I have a point and review the facts?

proposal submitted. awaiting grant money. will return with findings asap

Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Thursday, 21 August 2014 14:02 (6 days ago) Permalink

Really enjoyed reading yr My Decade in Music So Far, Katherine. Glad someone at pitchfork represented both Imagine It Was Us and Once I Was An Eagle.

Van Horn Street, Saturday, 23 August 2014 04:05 (4 days ago) Permalink

goon tie I'm interested to hear about Pitchfork as a site that used to provide queer artists some agency - it's always seemed pretty straight indie boy to me, even after it became straight indie boy who also likes pop and rap

Now I Am Become Dracula (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Saturday, 23 August 2014 14:10 (4 days ago) Permalink

I've been trying to frame my observations reasonably and articulately but it's impossible for me to extract my own feeling of non-agency from anything I type.

faghetti (fgti), Saturday, 23 August 2014 15:53 (4 days ago) Permalink

Sorry I dissed Whiney upthread that guy is a force for good

faghetti (fgti), Saturday, 23 August 2014 15:53 (4 days ago) Permalink

don't really get the "no girls" bit when they've got more women contributing than ever

da croupier, Saturday, 23 August 2014 16:59 (4 days ago) Permalink

not say there couldn't be LESS straight indie boyage, just that i don't know how it's worse

da croupier, Saturday, 23 August 2014 17:01 (4 days ago) Permalink


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