pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

5 years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (7 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

if anything, that reads like a good reason not to check out the album....

stephen, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

richter scale is logarithmic xpost

but kudos nonetheless

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

yeah sorry the "actually" sounded like I was disagreeing when it more of an "yeah and" thing

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

No band has marked indie's prog revival more definitively than Battles: Their debut, Mirrored, took rock for a set of puzzle pieces, but was ultimately defined by its pictorial sensibility-- each song felt like a cartoon soundtrack-- and the incorporation of jokes into the most historically humorless music in the known world.

latebloomer, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

wtf, wtf -- wtf? -- wtf!

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

the incorporation of JOKES

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

ya i saw that too... pretty lazy writing

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

How can you get paid to write if you don't know what "but" means?

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (7 years ago) Permalink

That bothers me more in a semantic sense: I think the album has a sense of humor, sure, but I don't know what "jokes" refers to in a largely instrumental piece of work.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

joeks, bruv

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

You can here an interpolation of classic knock-knock jokes in "Atlas".

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

<i>jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

-- YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (10 minutes ago) Link</i>

"jokes" was horrible word choice on my part--john is right--but come on, do you really think that having a punny song title is the same as making music that is formally and sonically <i>humorous</i>? eh. don cab always struck me as definitively unfunny, they just tried to compensate with SURREAL HEADLINES.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

Ha, I didn't even read the review, so I didn't know it was you, Mike.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you're right, 'but' wasn't a great choice. i think the idea was to say that though it had this puzzle-like quality--you could talk about how the parts fit together, like everyone does in a math-rock review--it was, for me, defined by these more abstract qualities: its sense of humor, its ability to be pictorally evocative. sure, i get what you're saying.

but seriously--human being here, willing to engage, bristles as asinine comments like the "knock-knock joke" one. furthermore--and i'd never slag scott or mark because i know they're incredibly busy guys--i think you bring the same charges to an editor. just saying.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

sorry, you *could* bring the same charges. lord i grow weary of life's endless ironies.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm just glad you're writing regularly.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

I think I'm pretty much firmly on record as someone who thinks there are a lot of editors out there who aren't doing what they should. This mostly stems from a desire to be an editor (ha).

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Joke: pretending "Atlas" has a different lyric when he is very clearly singing

people like to
people like to
eat a sandwich

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:35 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and there i thought you were just aping my ignorance and carelessness.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

(xpost - that's not actually funny, of course: people do like them some sandwiches)

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

i always heard the "eat a sandwich" bit as "penis terror"

ciderpress, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

Tom Ewing gave "Come On Eileen" a rare perfect ten in that review-every-number-one-single-ever blog.

Mr. Snrub, Monday, 31 August 2015 10:38 (4 days ago) Permalink

there are about 20 B-52s songs i would put on a list before come on eileen. and i liked come on eileen! i even bought the 45 when it came out. it began and ended my interest in that band. i'd vote for safety dance over come on eileen too.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 12:26 (4 days ago) Permalink

Searching For the Young Soul Rebels rules u yank wankers

Ma$e-en-scène (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 31 August 2015 12:29 (4 days ago) Permalink

we know brits love that one. it's okay. we have actual soul music here though...

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 12:57 (4 days ago) Permalink

we gave lots of money to brits when they honored our aretha franklin and smokey robinson though. we really appreciated that. and of course our beloved johnny ray.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 13:04 (4 days ago) Permalink

(psst skot i know i'm from the usa, the real usa too not the east coast)
i still think it's a good new wave soul record, not everything has to be authentic

Ma$e-en-scène (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 31 August 2015 13:37 (4 days ago) Permalink

i mean i'm sure out there u guys are like "dexy's? pish posh, someone have my butler send a sternly worded telegram to the great gatsby, i'll be in my drawing room smoking a pipe" but out here we like em

Ma$e-en-scène (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 31 August 2015 13:41 (4 days ago) Permalink

as someone who wasn't around for "Come On Eileen" the fact that anyone thinks it's anything but utter and complete shit is mind-boggling

― for sale: baby shoes, never worn your ass (katherine), Monday, August 31, 2015 1:16 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like, I'm half-convinced everyone is collectively trolling, that's how bad it is

― for sale: baby shoes, never worn your ass (katherine), Monday, August 31, 2015 1:18 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yea I am with you, that song is total garbage

marcos, Monday, 31 August 2015 13:49 (4 days ago) Permalink

people ask me for pogues records a lot.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 13:51 (4 days ago) Permalink

its nice to know that uh the heartland or wherever loves dexys midnight runners though. i guess.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 13:54 (4 days ago) Permalink

actually nobody does except come on eileen

Ma$e-en-scène (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 31 August 2015 13:55 (4 days ago) Permalink

i am a fan of "jackie wilson said" anyway. by van. the man.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 13:57 (4 days ago) Permalink

Love the Pogues, but a good example of a band that released several great records in the '80s but prolly didn't need a song on the list, save maybe "Fairytale," and even then, I'd put lots of second or third songs from represented bands on the list before that one. I assume no one under 30 listens to the Pogues.

Have the Arcade Fire covered Come on Eileen? Because even if they didn't they probably did.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 31 August 2015 14:08 (4 days ago) Permalink

Dexys Midnight Runners are one of my favourite groups ever. I'm British but I now live in Minnesota. A few years back I put Searching For The Young Soul Rebels on at a party here it not go down well with a bunch of bluegrass fans. It got turned off so people could have a jam instead with several people saying "Let's turn this shit off and get some real music on"

If there are people that have only heard Come On Eileen by them I'd imagine songs like Let's Make This Precious or This Is What She's Like (The full 13 minute version) might comes as a bit of a surprise. They certainly were for me when I first heard them.

Kitchen Person, Monday, 31 August 2015 14:13 (4 days ago) Permalink

i still think it's a good new wave soul record, not everything has to be authentic

I don't know what soul records "Come on Eileen" even barely resembles. I think DMR were innovative, although I guess you could put it in a genre category with "Our House" and "Just Got Lucky" and maybe some other things of that time.

timellison, Monday, 31 August 2015 15:28 (4 days ago) Permalink

Eh, Madness was much more than "Our House." In many ways they were essentially the (a) blueprint for stuff like Blur.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 31 August 2015 15:35 (4 days ago) Permalink

"come on eileen" is a slammer

flopson, Monday, 31 August 2015 15:40 (4 days ago) Permalink

i love just got lucky! hey, i was a roman holiday fan in the 80's. authenticity not big on my list of essentials.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 15:42 (4 days ago) Permalink

"fake" soul and r&b some of my all-time favorite 80's moments. Modern Romance are in my canon in a big way.

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 15:44 (4 days ago) Permalink

genre tags for Modern Romance on wiki: Pop, salsa, dance, R&B, mambo, electronic, new wave, Afro-Cuban, blues, soul, disco

scott seward, Monday, 31 August 2015 15:46 (4 days ago) Permalink

Dexies rule.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 31 August 2015 15:49 (4 days ago) Permalink

"Come On Eileen" is an ok song, as are the other 3 I noted earlier. But a few of you are misunderstanding that I'm happy the list doesn't include these, which IMO were all kinda oddly canonized throughout the '90s and '00s.

billstevejim, Monday, 31 August 2015 16:39 (4 days ago) Permalink

Eileen may be "played" (lol is it just me or does "played" sound terribly nonchalant?) but it's a great song

niels, Monday, 31 August 2015 16:46 (4 days ago) Permalink

tell me when my light turns green rules

Ma$e-en-scène (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 31 August 2015 16:54 (4 days ago) Permalink

i love "come on eileen"

dyl, Monday, 31 August 2015 17:15 (4 days ago) Permalink

count me in on the pro-Dexys faction

the naive cockney chorus (Simon H.), Monday, 31 August 2015 17:48 (4 days ago) Permalink

dexys are cool, they're like The Cure with trombones

brimstead, Monday, 31 August 2015 18:54 (4 days ago) Permalink


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