pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (14 years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (14 years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (14 years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (14 years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (14 years ago) Permalink

5 years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (8 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (8 years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (8 years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (8 years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (8 years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (8 years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (8 years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (8 years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (8 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (8 years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (8 years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (8 years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (8 years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (8 years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (8 years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (8 years ago) Permalink

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

if anything, that reads like a good reason not to check out the album....

stephen, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

richter scale is logarithmic xpost

but kudos nonetheless

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:42 (8 years ago) Permalink

yeah sorry the "actually" sounded like I was disagreeing when it more of an "yeah and" thing

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (8 years ago) Permalink

No band has marked indie's prog revival more definitively than Battles: Their debut, Mirrored, took rock for a set of puzzle pieces, but was ultimately defined by its pictorial sensibility-- each song felt like a cartoon soundtrack-- and the incorporation of jokes into the most historically humorless music in the known world.

latebloomer, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (8 years ago) Permalink

wtf, wtf -- wtf? -- wtf!

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:45 (8 years ago) Permalink

the incorporation of JOKES

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (8 years ago) Permalink

ya i saw that too... pretty lazy writing

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (8 years ago) Permalink

How can you get paid to write if you don't know what "but" means?

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:51 (8 years ago) Permalink

jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (8 years ago) Permalink

That bothers me more in a semantic sense: I think the album has a sense of humor, sure, but I don't know what "jokes" refers to in a largely instrumental piece of work.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (8 years ago) Permalink

joeks, bruv

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (8 years ago) Permalink

You can here an interpolation of classic knock-knock jokes in "Atlas".

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:06 (8 years ago) Permalink

<i>jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

-- YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (10 minutes ago) Link</i>

"jokes" was horrible word choice on my part--john is right--but come on, do you really think that having a punny song title is the same as making music that is formally and sonically <i>humorous</i>? eh. don cab always struck me as definitively unfunny, they just tried to compensate with SURREAL HEADLINES.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:08 (8 years ago) Permalink

Ha, I didn't even read the review, so I didn't know it was you, Mike.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:11 (8 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:19 (8 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you're right, 'but' wasn't a great choice. i think the idea was to say that though it had this puzzle-like quality--you could talk about how the parts fit together, like everyone does in a math-rock review--it was, for me, defined by these more abstract qualities: its sense of humor, its ability to be pictorally evocative. sure, i get what you're saying.

but seriously--human being here, willing to engage, bristles as asinine comments like the "knock-knock joke" one. furthermore--and i'd never slag scott or mark because i know they're incredibly busy guys--i think you bring the same charges to an editor. just saying.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

sorry, you *could* bring the same charges. lord i grow weary of life's endless ironies.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

I'm just glad you're writing regularly.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (8 years ago) Permalink

I think I'm pretty much firmly on record as someone who thinks there are a lot of editors out there who aren't doing what they should. This mostly stems from a desire to be an editor (ha).

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

Joke: pretending "Atlas" has a different lyric when he is very clearly singing

people like to
people like to
eat a sandwich

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:35 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and there i thought you were just aping my ignorance and carelessness.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

(xpost - that's not actually funny, of course: people do like them some sandwiches)

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:39 (8 years ago) Permalink

i always heard the "eat a sandwich" bit as "penis terror"

ciderpress, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:41 (8 years ago) Permalink

kind of think that's what Dangerous Minds does -- clickbait for the captain beefheart crowd.

tylerw, Friday, 1 July 2016 14:29 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

haha that's the best description of dangerous minds

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 1 July 2016 14:44 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

and also think about what you SAY you actually read on the internet and what you ACTUALLY read vs what you see a title of on Twitter that looks good and has been retweeted by someone you know so you just retweet it cuz you get the gist of it from the title and don't even read it

― Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, July 1, 2016 10:10 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm not on Twitter.

Position Position, Friday, 1 July 2016 19:02 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

ok

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 1 July 2016 19:12 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

my larger point is that when you're on the other side and looking at hits and traffic and clickthrough and all that the numbers tell a different story than what ppl say

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 1 July 2016 19:12 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

also listicles with the right editorial shape and direction can be awesome, see most of rs's listicles from the past two years

who is extremely unqualified to review this pop album (BradNelson), Friday, 1 July 2016 20:28 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Agreed. But Pitchforks listicles arent awesome. They are arbitrary, have the word "staffers" in every single clickbait title which puts me off clicking on it already. Could be good, but they're not doing it right.

Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 1 July 2016 21:00 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

'staffers' is kind of admitting that the underlying motivation for the listicle is economic/labor-determined rather than being determined by the culture or the significance or whatever they're supposed nominally to traffic in

j., Friday, 1 July 2016 21:22 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i know this isn't exclusive to p4k by any means, but i hate the trend of capitalizing a phrase instead of putting it into quotes. for example:

With all due respect to her abilities, Sheila E has not been A Name in a couple decades.

(http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/1217-is-2016-musics-biggest-year-in-decades/)

where/when did this start? i know DFW did it a lot. bugs the fuck out of me.

flappy bird, Tuesday, 5 July 2016 17:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i think that piece is really good though

flappy bird, Tuesday, 5 July 2016 17:17 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I can't even get past this AREN'T I CLEVER tag

Blink-182's seventh album wants to be a pop-punk eminence album, evidence humbly submitted that this aging pack of skater brats is still young, selectively dumb, and full of commiserating angst.

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 6 July 2016 15:33 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/22057-maxwell-blacksummersnight/

^^^This review is absolute bullshit^^^

Austin, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 18:37 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i'm confused? there's another review from 09 at the bottom

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 19:05 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

BLACKsummer'snight vs. blackSUMMERS'night

Immediate Follower (NA), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 19:21 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i knew that review was going to show up here.

You want both in your boudoir, but Maxwell is the yin to D’Angelo’s yang: While D’Angelo’s steamy devotion makes you kick off the covers, Maxwell is the cool side of the pillow.

sam jax sax jam (Jordan), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 19:45 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

it doesn't really "get" maxwell does it

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 12 July 2016 19:46 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

BLACKsummer'snight vs. blackSUMMERS'night

― Immediate Follower (NA), Tuesday, July 12, 2016 2:21 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ahhhh well played maxwell, until we meet again

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 21:09 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

when does blacksummers'NIGHT come out

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 21:18 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

it actually is a trilogy

Number None, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 21:20 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

hoping that pt. 3 comes out before 2023

maura, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 22:11 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

"staffers" generally means it's done in-house rather than by freelancers, or with very select freelancers, it isn't rocket science

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Thursday, 14 July 2016 05:47 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

we get that? it's the rhetorical implication of using it as a tag for content that's the thing.

j., Thursday, 14 July 2016 06:32 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

^^

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 14 July 2016 08:49 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Or maybe we're all better at rocket science than we thought

I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Thursday, 14 July 2016 14:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i think you *might* be making too big of a deal about the word "staffers"

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 14 July 2016 15:17 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i was part of a "staffers" list picking old records that we'd recently discovered way back in he olden times of 2006. this is not exactly new. also i don't read pfork much these days, mostly because like most sites covering new music it's skewing to a younger demographic that I am no longer a part of, but the site was pretty damn different in '06 than it was in '96. it's not really shocking that the tone/format/content would again be different 10 years later.

a basset hound (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, 14 July 2016 15:47 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

woah strongo retroactively sold out to the man smdh :(

Steve Gunn Mann-Dude (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 14 July 2016 16:16 (2 weeks ago) Permalink


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