pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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that is because kylie is, like sophie ellis bextor, going for a retro- mancuso/levan vibe, with all the classicism inherent in such an endeavour.

gareth, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

Actually, I did try to write about that record in the same way I would have for anything else at Pitchfork. I thought the gag would be better if people really thought we were changing styles, and Spin may be full of ads, but at least the reviews aren't jokes! As far as I know, anyway. Dullness wasn't intentional though.

dleone, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

best e-mail address ever, eh starbar?

dudley, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

Dead right sir. Power shandies all round to the geezer behind it eh?

Sarah, Wednesday, 3 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

From: DWilliams@EQRWORLD.com Subject: NO, Just Admit You Like It Up There

You have completed your learning of life's lessons. Now, you suck ass just like all the other bores before you. Kylie, Alanis? Whatever, bitch. I am sure you already have the defense mechanisms in place so, this will mean nothing but, another exercise in...oh, who cares. Looking elsewhere for reality...or maybe I can pretend to be a rubber worm like pitchwhore.com...here big fishie, look, I rounded 'em up for you in a arrel. A whole demographic!

Not Funny

Dare, Thursday, 4 April 2002 00:00 (13 years ago) Permalink

5 years pass...

Y'know sometimes they really are asking for it:

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

Well shit SIGN ME UP.

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:57 (7 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that was a bit of a repellant blurb if I ever saw one.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:01 (7 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

I read 'White' as 'While' and thought "The Saul Williams album sounds like that?"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

it's more that they used that as their _hook_

x-post

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

The front blurbs are always stripped/condensed summary descriptions from the review inside -- in this case

His songs are thin and languorous, with impeccable influences and the sort of calculated disaffection that comes from an MFA in design and a good weed connection.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

omg that is horrorshow

The blurb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the article quote

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

I assume that's an article quote; nabisco, if you just made that up then SHAME ON YOU.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

why would a critic ever try to guess where a song comes from?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:23 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm more bothered by beck as impeccable influence

dmr, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

Wait, are you saying that doesn't seem accurate?

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me. I guess I like my disaffection to be natural, not carefully planned, so I would never recommend something like that.

Then again, I've never heard it so what do I know and so on.

Z S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

b-but someone at pfork said "hm, how can we get people to read this review? I know! we'll mention the artist's impeccable influences and calculated disaffection! that'll reel 'em in!"

RIP satire etc

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

they could have collaged+mis-used _anything_ from the article, and they collaged+mis-used that

lukas, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

The White Williams album reminds me much more of late 10cc and Bread than of Roxy Music. That bit was like the classic "Let's over-hip our influences" review.

I eat cannibals, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:54 (7 years ago) Permalink

The description of "a sense of calculated disaffection", a combination of words that makes me imagine the shittiest band of all time, followed by "recommended" was repellant for me.

See, this sounds like the blurb WORKED for you -- i.e., efficiently let you know you would probably not like this act.

I agree, though, it looks kind of weird to have such a neutral-to-disparaging summary blurb on a recommended album.

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 22:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

I like how they gave the new Babyshambles, which is actually tuneful and a good all around album, a 4.0, but gave the first one, which is dreadful and hard to listen to / bloated, a 7.3,

Yeah, it was definitely TWICE as good as the new one. Fuckin' morons.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

ugh, "impeccable influences" is really repulsive.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

(xpost) was that a parody or are you really getting worked up about an internet score for babyshambles

dmr, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

He was worked up?

roxymuzak, Friday, 2 November 2007 18:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

wait, i thought the grading scale was logarithmic. like 5 is twice as good as 4. somebody email ryan schreiber to find out.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

shit, now i need to reevaluate all my purchases of the last five years.

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

It's actually modelled after the Richter Scale, hence the superlative designations of various well-reviewed albums as either "Reccomended," "Best New Music," or "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On."

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

"White Williams issues a debut album layered with impeccable influences-- including Roxy Music, Beck, and T. Rex-- and a sense of calculated disaffection."

if anything, that reads like a good reason not to check out the album....

stephen, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

richter scale is logarithmic xpost

but kudos nonetheless

elan, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

yeah sorry the "actually" sounded like I was disagreeing when it more of an "yeah and" thing

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

No band has marked indie's prog revival more definitively than Battles: Their debut, Mirrored, took rock for a set of puzzle pieces, but was ultimately defined by its pictorial sensibility-- each song felt like a cartoon soundtrack-- and the incorporation of jokes into the most historically humorless music in the known world.

latebloomer, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

wtf, wtf -- wtf? -- wtf!

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

the incorporation of JOKES

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

ya i saw that too... pretty lazy writing

s1ocki, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

How can you get paid to write if you don't know what "but" means?

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (7 years ago) Permalink

That bothers me more in a semantic sense: I think the album has a sense of humor, sure, but I don't know what "jokes" refers to in a largely instrumental piece of work.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

joeks, bruv

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

You can here an interpolation of classic knock-knock jokes in "Atlas".

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

<i>jokes?!?!? has dude ever read the back of a don cab/a minor forest/whoever cd?

-- YGS, Friday, 2 November 2007 19:53 (10 minutes ago) Link</i>

"jokes" was horrible word choice on my part--john is right--but come on, do you really think that having a punny song title is the same as making music that is formally and sonically <i>humorous</i>? eh. don cab always struck me as definitively unfunny, they just tried to compensate with SURREAL HEADLINES.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

Ha, I didn't even read the review, so I didn't know it was you, Mike.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

There is a strong semantic difference between "humor" and "jokes"; they shouldn't be used interchangeably and, based on your followup here, you definitely meant the former.

Also, why did you use "but" as your conjunction? The second clause does not invert, negate, contradict or palpably change the meaning of the first clause (Mirrored being defined by pictoral sensibility and humor is not a condition that lies in opposition to it viewing rock as a set of puzzle pieces), so your sentence winds up not making any sense; you've either left out a critical piece of information or just flat-out used the wrong word.

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

you're right, 'but' wasn't a great choice. i think the idea was to say that though it had this puzzle-like quality--you could talk about how the parts fit together, like everyone does in a math-rock review--it was, for me, defined by these more abstract qualities: its sense of humor, its ability to be pictorally evocative. sure, i get what you're saying.

but seriously--human being here, willing to engage, bristles as asinine comments like the "knock-knock joke" one. furthermore--and i'd never slag scott or mark because i know they're incredibly busy guys--i think you bring the same charges to an editor. just saying.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

sorry, you *could* bring the same charges. lord i grow weary of life's endless ironies.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm just glad you're writing regularly.

jaymc, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

I think I'm pretty much firmly on record as someone who thinks there are a lot of editors out there who aren't doing what they should. This mostly stems from a desire to be an editor (ha).

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

HI DERE, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Joke: pretending "Atlas" has a different lyric when he is very clearly singing

people like to
people like to
eat a sandwich

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Also I think the egregious misspelling of "hear" is more offensive than the actual knock-knock joke comment (which was an allusion to a recently-revived ILE thread).

-- HI DERE, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:35 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

and there i thought you were just aping my ignorance and carelessness.

mike powell, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

(xpost - that's not actually funny, of course: people do like them some sandwiches)

nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

i always heard the "eat a sandwich" bit as "penis terror"

ciderpress, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

No I'm not having that. It might be about race but it caught my eye because everybody agrees as loudly as possible. Maybe that's the norm for P4k round tables, idk, but if it is then they should rethink the whole format.

A swarm of antipathy (Re-Make/Re-Model), Monday, 6 July 2015 15:21 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Can mods just change the name of this thread to "I@n C0hen is dumb?"

There's more care and nuance put into the drum filtering on "Let It Happen" than most bands manage in an entire career of recording

Right, because you know

Parker is...somehow the best and most underrated rock bassist of the 21st century, and it’s not even close on either front

srsly?

Wimmels, Monday, 13 July 2015 13:38 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I feel like for some people audible bass playing = good bass playing.

29 facepalms, Monday, 13 July 2015 13:56 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

otm

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Monday, 13 July 2015 13:58 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

what is "drum filtering"

Joan Crawford Loves Chachi, Monday, 13 July 2015 14:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

It's when you use the snare strainer to make coffee.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 13 July 2015 14:05 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

example (crüt), Monday, 13 July 2015 14:05 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I feel like for some people audible bass playing = good bass playing.

― 29 facepalms, Monday, July 13, 2015 1:56 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^^^

Wimmels, Monday, 13 July 2015 14:06 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

crut I lol'd really hard, ty

Joan Crawford Loves Chachi, Monday, 13 July 2015 14:09 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Currents could be called a "transitional album," but what Parker seems to realize is that all albums should be so named, because life is transitional.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 13 July 2015 15:39 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

jesus christ

insufficiently familiar with xgau's work to comment intelligently (BradNelson), Monday, 13 July 2015 15:47 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Noted Marxist-Leninist mouthpiece the FT on implications for the Eurozone: http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/e38a452e-26f2-11e5-bd83-71cb60e8f08c.html#axzz3fm5E3Q9P

Keith Moom (Neil S), Monday, 13 July 2015 15:48 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

lol rong thread sorry guys

Keith Moom (Neil S), Monday, 13 July 2015 15:49 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

not really

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 July 2015 15:50 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Forknancial Times

like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Monday, 13 July 2015 17:44 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

what is "drum filtering"

he's just talking about the dj-esque part of the single where there's a low pass filter on the drums.

ian cohen also responsible for this infamously terrible review:
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/17136-mumps-etc/

lil urbane (Jordan), Monday, 13 July 2015 18:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Page Not Found (404)

nose, Monday, 13 July 2015 18:09 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

they're on the festival bill

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 July 2015 18:10 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

copy and paste the url. ilx doesn't put the final "/" in the link and so it doesn't work

Rave Van Donk (jim in glasgow), Monday, 13 July 2015 18:11 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I don't really care about IC as a writer but he reviews so much nu-emo/pop-punk stuff that is reviving sounds I didn't care much about the first time around that I basically skip anything with his byline.

Immediate Follower (NA), Monday, 13 July 2015 19:24 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

It's a huge bummer that he got assigned to review the Tenement album, which didn't really say anything beyond "It's a double-LP; therefore, it's too long." Couldn't they have gotten literally anyone else?

billstevejim, Monday, 13 July 2015 19:42 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

oh yeah just like when he reviewed the new mew record and mostly used it as an opportunity to make thousand-year-old prog jokes about rick wakeman's king arthur

insufficiently familiar with xgau's work to comment intelligently (BradNelson), Monday, 13 July 2015 19:52 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

IC is the most Pitchfork-y of Pitchfork writers though, a true objectivist, will always mention the album's relatability, hook count, and cross-reference with other Pitchfork-approved records positively. Music to him is something to affirm his own privileged position, not to challenge it. As long as he writes there regularly that site will never be a positive force for anything

got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Monday, 13 July 2015 22:21 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Every site needs one of those, like David Fricke at RS. Or Anthony DeCurtis in his heyday.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 July 2015 22:55 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i would like to suggest: nah

insufficiently familiar with xgau's work to comment intelligently (BradNelson), Monday, 13 July 2015 23:05 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

speaking of pitchfork writers, this looks pretty cool:

"Rural Violence", curated by Brandon Stosuy, features the work of the artists Matthew Barney, Cindy Daignault, Lionel Maunz, and Prurient (with John Sharian). It is a meditation on the bucolic as sinister and the quiet violence of the pastoral, along with the various rituals attached to both natural and personal cycles.

"Rural Violence" opens on August 8, 2015, in the Family Chapel of the 150-year old Woodside Church in Troy, NY. Opening is 7pm. Performance is 8pm.

There will be a second movement on September 19, 2015.

scott seward, Monday, 13 July 2015 23:28 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

prurient in a church in troy. that's pretty damn poetic.

scott seward, Monday, 13 July 2015 23:29 (2 weeks ago) Permalink


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