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I love it.

― Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

I love this:
To this day politicians avoid growing beards due to how that alienates voters reminded of the hippies, whom many voters would never support.

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

i haven't bothered finishing it...i liked how they deftly ignored (at the point i stopped reading) molecular evidence for evolution. also: pretty sure the reason fossil evidence is scanty is because, you know the earth has done and been through quite a lot over the last few hundred million years, so actually finding ANY fossils seems like a treat

― river wolf, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

These people are terrifying:

Homosexuality constitutes a parasitic relationship with society. Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction). Homosexuality's existence is a threat to the continued existnce of the human race, and must be dealt with appropriately.

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

(obviously I'm not saying homosexuals are terrifying)

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

"dealt with appropriately?"

*shudder*

― river wolf, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

yeah, y'know, turned into something useful for society like soap or lampshades

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

Many of the entries are taken from a homeschooler encyclopedia cdrom.

― kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction).

FFS. So childless women are also parasites? THANK YOU CONSERVAPEDIA I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

― Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:23 (5 years ago) Permalink

― Phil D., Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:26 (5 years ago) Permalink

Again, these are the people that Chris Hedges writes about.

― kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:28 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.rationalwiki.com/wiki/Chupacabra

― abanana, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:30 (5 years ago) Permalink

I actually read a thing in a Chilean local paper's website about a Chupacabra being loose a few weeks ago. It's just used to mean a random beast or disease that is killing local goats though. But still quite quaint usage.

― jim, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:33 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservapedia

― kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:36 (5 years ago) Permalink

just checking that you mericans knows that that stuff in http://www.conservapedia.com/Drugs that "Nasty, Brutish & Short" quotes (shatner's bassoon et al) is from Brass Eye http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_Eye on drugs

― Alan, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:37 (5 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that one sounded pretty familiar.

― kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

Yeah the cake thing rang a bell.

― Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

I was just going to post the Brass Eye info, except I seemed to have left this page open on my browser for about 20 minutes without replying, and so 'tis not even truly an xpost.

― emil.y, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

there have been 2-year xposts on ILX before

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 02:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

I remember that!

Still boggling at the 5-second excelsior tho.

― Trayce, Thursday, 21 June 2007 02:28 (5 years ago) Permalink

I haven't gone there, but this all looks like "Onion" style 'satire' or is that stating the bleedin obv?

― Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:47 (5 years ago) Permalink

I am creating a conservapedia account with a new gmail address simply so I can provide a citation to tha Hansard where David Ames asks the question. here btw

― Ed, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:49 (5 years ago) Permalink

Just read the Wiki.. guess not.

― Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

Disco was a flamboyant style of gay dance music in the 70s. Disco parties were noted for their outrageous clothes, drug use, and flashing lights.

Disco music was generally made by studio engineers using session musicians, and was pressed onto 12-inch singles, an innovation which allowed for high-fidelity recorded music over a large sound system. The name derives from the French word "Discotheque", a place for playing records.

TOO GAY FOR AMERICA

― 31g, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

Lennon subsequently apologized for those remarks.[Citation Needed]

― 31g, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

It (Conservapedia) is not funny anymore ;_; It's just depressingly stupid.

― Pashmina, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Golf

― latebloomer, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Other_gods

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

Hip Hop is a style of African American music in which African Americans chant over beats. It originated in the 70's in the South Bronx. Originally DJ's would loop a specific cut from popular funk or disco songs known as break beats. Eventually African American MCs would talk over the beats, mostly regarding the incredible skills of the DJ. This evoloved into the MCs talking about themselves and the amount of power money and sexual prowess they possessed.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

This evoloved

DJ EvoLoved, Monday nights, 9-close, $10. Ladies drink free.

― kingfish, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:30 (5 years ago) Permalink

glad to see this gem is still there:

According to the origins theory model used by creation scientists, modern kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood. It has not yet been determined by baraminologists whether kangaroos form a holobaramin with the wallaby, tree-kangaroo, wallaroo, pademelon and quokka, or if all these species are in fact apobaraminic or polybaraminic. There is, however, no evidence of a genetic bottleneck in the kangaroo species which would be expected if all kangaroos were descended from two individuals.
After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land[5] with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart[6], or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.[5] The idea that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.
Other views on kangaroo origins include the belief of some Australian Aborigines that kangaroos were sung into existence by their ancestors during the "Dreamtime" [7] and the evolutionary view that kangaroos and the other marsupials evolved from a common marsupial ancestor which lived hundreds of millions of years ago.[8]

― bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:37 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'd take the dreamtime expalnation over creationist bullshit any day.

― Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

I just love the lumping together of aboriginal mythology and evolution. would this fall within the realms of a straw man argument, or have they just invented a totally new fallacy?

― bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

Here's a sane explanation of a "baramin", the creationist pseudo-scientific jargon in the piece above: http://wiki.cotch.net/index.php/Baramin

― Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

Thank You, this article got me thinking

This article demonstrates the wonderful thing about conservipedia! I never realized that even my reading of the bible was corrupted by the liberal thought I've been force fed (despite having conservative parents). This article, in laying out the biblical passages on the subject clearly, made me realize that slavery isn't NECESSARILY all bad. Of course, I still think slavery of G-d fearing Christians is appalling, if they are determined slaves just because of the color of their skin. But because liberals decietfully used the obvious immorality of that to discount all slavery, even though G-d plainly wills it, I was even tricked into thinking all slavery was bad.

I had read those passages before of course, I just sort of ignored them, because they made me anxious. I didn't know how to reconcile it with the force-fed liberal ideas on slavery, that ignorantly lump all slavery together with Southern slavery. I never realized how much of a pernicious influence liberal ideas could have on even me. I never even knew any liberals growing up! To think, Satan's trickery could be so wily as to actually instill ideas in me that make me anxious when reading G-d's word.

Is there any movements to reinsitute slavery properly? I mean, I know that we have so much to battle right now, abortion, and secularism in general. But it just seems so wrong that a few impure slave-owners could tarnish a biblical institution. Its hopless right now, we are so embattled, but maybe in a few hundred years we can return to a biblical way of life. And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement.

Could the article have more on the virtues of slavery? Surely there has to be some commentary on it somewhere. Being a biblical institution it has to serve a purpose. And for those of you that say "it only applied in ancient times" I say how dare you insult G-d. He's omniscient, which implies what was right then was right now, or else He would have told us to change. InTheEvent 13:53, 19 June 2007 (EDT)

― and what, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

hahahaha

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

Is he volunteering to be a slave, then?

― Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

I was gonna say - somebody enslave that guy posthaste! He'll be cool with it, it's G-d's will!

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:54 (5 years ago) Permalink

Famous Left-Wing Terrorist Groups

* PIRA
* Al-Qaeda

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

"Though the liberal media continues to disparage Bush's handling of the economy, they often neglect to report the many aspects of the economy that Bush has improved. For example, during his term Exxon Mobil has posted the largest profit of any company in a single year, and executive salaries have greatly increased as well."

- A thought here: Either this poster is admirably subversive or he is functionally retarded.

― jposnan, Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

Many people have reported leaving homosexuality and becoming heterosexual through their Christian faith.[27][28][29][30][31][32][33][34][35][36][37]

― Eric H., Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

The thing about this site is that, except for the bits that idjits like Schlafly or that fundie homeschool textbook write added in themselves, the whole thing is Poe's Law writ large. You can't tell the legit batshit ravings from the fake.

― kingfish, Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, I think a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, like that slave thing - "And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement."

― The Yellow Kid, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

yeah, foxes in the henhouse

― river wolf, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

Meanwhile, the folks over at RationalWiki have been compiling a rolling Best of Conservapedia for your amusement and/or horror/pity.

― kingfish, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

14:00, 9 June 2007 Crocoite (Talk | contribs) blocked "Sm355 (contribs)" with an expiry time of infinite (troll - removing God from articles)

― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

For you, ILX

― Tape Store, Saturday, 23 June 2007 00:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

hahaha

Your user name or IP address has been blocked.

The block was made by Hojimachong. The reason given is '.

You can contact Hojimachong or another administrator to discuss the block. You cannot use the 'email this user' feature unless a valid email address is specified in your account preferences. Your current IP address is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx, and the block ID is #10476. Please include either or both of these in any queries.

― Tape Store, Saturday, 23 June 2007 00:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 1013 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Mitt Romney is a speaker at CPAC ???!!! [1]
Suggested title for his talk: "Maybe social issues are important after all."

― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 21 February 2013 05:15 (2 months ago) Permalink

yes, the original lyrics of 'get back' were definitely satirical -- more here:

http://www.beatlesbible.com/songs/get-back/

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 21 February 2013 05:33 (2 months ago) Permalink

this whole article, lol. "It was founded by Morris Dees and Joseph J Levin—the former a cosmopolitan mercenary accused in court of child molestation,[1] the latter a confirmed Jew." a confirmed jew!!

― chilli, Thursday, 21 February 2013 07:33 (2 months ago) Permalink

especially like the mini ✡ and ☭ they have as footnotes to peoples' names

― chilli, Thursday, 21 February 2013 07:34 (2 months ago) Permalink

Conservapedia is proven right: HUGO CHAVEZ IS DEAD, and the lamestream media finally admit it. [1]
Liberal denial crashes again.

― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 6 March 2013 02:42 (2 months ago) Permalink

fuck that liberal media who thought he would never die

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 6 March 2013 02:55 (2 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

http://www.conservapedia.com/Limousine_liberal

― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 24 March 2013 18:19 (1 month ago) Permalink

I see your limousine liberal and raise you a champagne socialist.

― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Sunday, 24 March 2013 18:29 (1 month ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Deaths_directly_attributed_to_the_liberal_media

― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 24 March 2013 19:22 (1 month ago) Permalink

John Wayne Gacy (March 17, 1942 – May 10, 1994) was a liberal Democrat 1970s serial killer. He was convicted and later executed for the rape and murder of 33 boys and young men, 29 of whom he buried in the crawl space under his house, between 1972 and his arrest in December 1978. In an interview where he denied killing any of his victims, John Gacy said he was bisexual and "very liberal".[2] Gacy was also a Democratic Party activist who had his picture taken with Rosalynn Carter after being given Secret Service clearance.[3] At the time of the picture, Gacy had several victims hidden in his home.[4]

― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 24 March 2013 19:26 (1 month ago) Permalink