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I love it.

Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

I love this:
To this day politicians avoid growing beards due to how that alienates voters reminded of the hippies, whom many voters would never support.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

i haven't bothered finishing it...i liked how they deftly ignored (at the point i stopped reading) molecular evidence for evolution. also: pretty sure the reason fossil evidence is scanty is because, you know the earth has done and been through quite a lot over the last few hundred million years, so actually finding ANY fossils seems like a treat

river wolf, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

These people are terrifying:

Homosexuality constitutes a parasitic relationship with society. Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction). Homosexuality's existence is a threat to the continued existnce of the human race, and must be dealt with appropriately.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

(obviously I'm not saying homosexuals are terrifying)

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

"dealt with appropriately?"

*shudder*

river wolf, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

yeah, y'know, turned into something useful for society like soap or lampshades

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

Many of the entries are taken from a homeschooler encyclopedia cdrom.

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction).

FFS. So childless women are also parasites? THANK YOU CONSERVAPEDIA I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

Phil D., Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

Again, these are the people that Chris Hedges writes about.

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.rationalwiki.com/wiki/Chupacabra

abanana, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

I actually read a thing in a Chilean local paper's website about a Chupacabra being loose a few weeks ago. It's just used to mean a random beast or disease that is killing local goats though. But still quite quaint usage.

jim, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservapedia

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

just checking that you mericans knows that that stuff in http://www.conservapedia.com/Drugs that "Nasty, Brutish & Short" quotes (shatner's bassoon et al) is from Brass Eye http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_Eye on drugs

Alan, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that one sounded pretty familiar.

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah the cake thing rang a bell.

Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

I was just going to post the Brass Eye info, except I seemed to have left this page open on my browser for about 20 minutes without replying, and so 'tis not even truly an xpost.

emil.y, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

there have been 2-year xposts on ILX before

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 02:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

I remember that!

Still boggling at the 5-second excelsior tho.

Trayce, Thursday, 21 June 2007 02:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

I haven't gone there, but this all looks like "Onion" style 'satire' or is that stating the bleedin obv?

Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

I am creating a conservapedia account with a new gmail address simply so I can provide a citation to tha Hansard where David Ames asks the question. here btw

Ed, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

Just read the Wiki.. guess not.

Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:52 (nine years ago) Permalink

Disco was a flamboyant style of gay dance music in the 70s. Disco parties were noted for their outrageous clothes, drug use, and flashing lights.

Disco music was generally made by studio engineers using session musicians, and was pressed onto 12-inch singles, an innovation which allowed for high-fidelity recorded music over a large sound system. The name derives from the French word "Discotheque", a place for playing records.

TOO GAY FOR AMERICA

31g, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

Lennon subsequently apologized for those remarks.[Citation Needed]

31g, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

It (Conservapedia) is not funny anymore ;_; It's just depressingly stupid.

Pashmina, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Golf

latebloomer, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:48 (nine years ago) Permalink

:D

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:52 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Other_gods

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hip Hop is a style of African American music in which African Americans chant over beats. It originated in the 70's in the South Bronx. Originally DJ's would loop a specific cut from popular funk or disco songs known as break beats. Eventually African American MCs would talk over the beats, mostly regarding the incredible skills of the DJ. This evoloved into the MCs talking about themselves and the amount of power money and sexual prowess they possessed.

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

This evoloved

DJ EvoLoved, Monday nights, 9-close, $10. Ladies drink free.

kingfish, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

glad to see this gem is still there:

According to the origins theory model used by creation scientists, modern kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood. It has not yet been determined by baraminologists whether kangaroos form a holobaramin with the wallaby, tree-kangaroo, wallaroo, pademelon and quokka, or if all these species are in fact apobaraminic or polybaraminic. There is, however, no evidence of a genetic bottleneck in the kangaroo species which would be expected if all kangaroos were descended from two individuals.

After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land[5] with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart[6], or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.[5] The idea that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.

Other views on kangaroo origins include the belief of some Australian Aborigines that kangaroos were sung into existence by their ancestors during the "Dreamtime" [7] and the evolutionary view that kangaroos and the other marsupials evolved from a common marsupial ancestor which lived hundreds of millions of years ago.[8]

bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'd take the dreamtime expalnation over creationist bullshit any day.

Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

I just love the lumping together of aboriginal mythology and evolution. would this fall within the realms of a straw man argument, or have they just invented a totally new fallacy?

bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

Here's a sane explanation of a "baramin", the creationist pseudo-scientific jargon in the piece above: http://wiki.cotch.net/index.php/Baramin

Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:50 (nine years ago) Permalink

Thank You, this article got me thinking

This article demonstrates the wonderful thing about conservipedia! I never realized that even my reading of the bible was corrupted by the liberal thought I've been force fed (despite having conservative parents). This article, in laying out the biblical passages on the subject clearly, made me realize that slavery isn't NECESSARILY all bad. Of course, I still think slavery of G-d fearing Christians is appalling, if they are determined slaves just because of the color of their skin. But because liberals decietfully used the obvious immorality of that to discount all slavery, even though G-d plainly wills it, I was even tricked into thinking all slavery was bad.

I had read those passages before of course, I just sort of ignored them, because they made me anxious. I didn't know how to reconcile it with the force-fed liberal ideas on slavery, that ignorantly lump all slavery together with Southern slavery. I never realized how much of a pernicious influence liberal ideas could have on even me. I never even knew any liberals growing up! To think, Satan's trickery could be so wily as to actually instill ideas in me that make me anxious when reading G-d's word.

Is there any movements to reinsitute slavery properly? I mean, I know that we have so much to battle right now, abortion, and secularism in general. But it just seems so wrong that a few impure slave-owners could tarnish a biblical institution. Its hopless right now, we are so embattled, but maybe in a few hundred years we can return to a biblical way of life. And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement.

Could the article have more on the virtues of slavery? Surely there has to be some commentary on it somewhere. Being a biblical institution it has to serve a purpose. And for those of you that say "it only applied in ancient times" I say how dare you insult G-d. He's omniscient, which implies what was right then was right now, or else He would have told us to change. InTheEvent 13:53, 19 June 2007 (EDT)

and what, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

hahahaha

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:50 (nine years ago) Permalink

Is he volunteering to be a slave, then?

Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:52 (nine years ago) Permalink

I was gonna say - somebody enslave that guy posthaste! He'll be cool with it, it's G-d's will!

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

Famous Left-Wing Terrorist Groups

* PIRA
* Al-Qaeda

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

"Though the liberal media continues to disparage Bush's handling of the economy, they often neglect to report the many aspects of the economy that Bush has improved. For example, during his term Exxon Mobil has posted the largest profit of any company in a single year, and executive salaries have greatly increased as well."

- A thought here: Either this poster is admirably subversive or he is functionally retarded.

jposnan, Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Many people have reported leaving homosexuality and becoming heterosexual through their Christian faith.[27][28][29][30][31][32][33][34][35][36][37]

Eric H., Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

The thing about this site is that, except for the bits that idjits like Schlafly or that fundie homeschool textbook write added in themselves, the whole thing is Poe's Law writ large. You can't tell the legit batshit ravings from the fake.

kingfish, Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:58 (nine years ago) Permalink

Yeah, I think a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, like that slave thing - "And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement."

The Yellow Kid, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:12 (nine years ago) Permalink

yeah, foxes in the henhouse

river wolf, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

Meanwhile, the folks over at RationalWiki have been compiling a rolling Best of Conservapedia for your amusement and/or horror/pity.

kingfish, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

14:00, 9 June 2007 Crocoite (Talk | contribs) blocked "Sm355 (contribs)" with an expiry time of infinite (troll - removing God from articles)

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

For you, ILX

Tape Store, Saturday, 23 June 2007 00:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

hahaha

Your user name or IP address has been blocked.

The block was made by Hojimachong. The reason given is '.

You can contact Hojimachong or another administrator to discuss the block. You cannot use the 'email this user' feature unless a valid email address is specified in your account preferences. Your current IP address is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx, and the block ID is #10476. Please include either or both of these in any queries.

Tape Store, Saturday, 23 June 2007 00:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

that is a treat

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 11:58 (one year ago) Permalink

Would love to know what kind of boss technology Adam had that was substantially more impressive than the building of Nea Ekklēsia, etc.

I wear my Redditor loathing with pride (ShariVari), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:11 (one year ago) Permalink

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:38 (one year ago) Permalink

considering there's presumably some kind of god-bothering axe being ground there, the Biblical timeline is all over the fucking shop. the Jewish diaspora should come some centuries after Egypt at its heights by Bible reckoning - ignoring the irl history, obv

the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:44 (one year ago) Permalink

the technology behind modesty fig leaves has been lost to the ages

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:46 (one year ago) Permalink

hey they stayed on with no visible fastening

the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:46 (one year ago) Permalink

i think the 'dispersion' there is prob the aftermath of babel. meanwhile, if you are going to take babel at face value, i think a more significant tech spike is warranted.

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:48 (one year ago) Permalink

ok that makes sense, assume the decline from Noah was after he invented booze

the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:49 (one year ago) Permalink

it's been a crazy 8000 years for technology

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:51 (one year ago) Permalink

In a 1982-83 Doctor Who Magazine comic strip, The Stockbridge Horror, a militaristic Time Lord named Tubal Cain pilots a massive Battle TARDIS armed with "time torpedoes".

j., Thursday, 6 August 2015 13:25 (one year ago) Permalink

Would love to know what kind of boss technology Adam had that was substantially more impressive than the building of Nea Ekklēsia, etc.

This. Maybe if Adam had control over the flaming sword guarding Eden or something.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 6 August 2015 15:09 (one year ago) Permalink

i thought the hip idea among the way-out xtian conservatives was that the "dark ages" were great.

goole, Thursday, 6 August 2015 15:13 (one year ago) Permalink

aaaaablnnn (abanana), Thursday, 6 August 2015 17:21 (one year ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

The Bible criticizes liberal claptrap in 1 Corinthians 1:17.

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 21 August 2015 02:06 (one year ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Democrat Party is the grammatically correct term for the Democratic Party. The Party is not "democratic", and proper nouns like "Democrat" are not converted into adjectives by adding "ic" as a suffix. It is not the "Republicanic Party," or the "Libertarianic Party", or a "Smith-ic Wedding." Predictably, many Democrats dislike the term "Democrat Party," perhaps because the official name is the "Democratic Party of the United States" since 1844[1] and perhaps they prefer the false illusion that their party is somehow more "democratic" than other parties.

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 6 September 2015 00:44 (one year ago) Permalink

correct term is "Republicanican Party", obv

soref, Sunday, 6 September 2015 00:53 (one year ago) Permalink

They do have kind of a point though, albeit not about the name of the party -- why isn't the generic term for a member of the Democratic party a Democratic? If someone is psychic, they're a psychic. If they subscribe to Stoic philosophy, they're a Stoic.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 6 September 2015 01:25 (one year ago) Permalink

the only good thing I can say about William F. Buckley is that his intellectual snobbery prevented him from using "Democrat Party"

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 6 September 2015 01:36 (one year ago) Permalink

Predictably, many Democrats dislike the term "Democrat Party," perhaps because the official name is the "Democratic Party of the United States" since 1844

perhaps!

1995 ball boy (Karl Malone), Sunday, 6 September 2015 02:14 (one year ago) Permalink

I really like this one

http://www.conservapedia.com/Moving_the_goalposts

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 6 September 2015 06:00 (one year ago) Permalink

not to flood the thread but this is big news

http://www.conservapedia.com/Unplug_the_NFL

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 6 September 2015 23:41 (one year ago) Permalink

Thus, asserting that someone is moving the goalposts is a common logical fallacy.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Monday, 7 September 2015 00:04 (one year ago) Permalink

Occult and gambling

The Super Bowl halftime show also features bizarre symbolism that has been associated with the occult and/or gambling.

Sharia Law and Lambchop (The Yellow Kid), Monday, 7 September 2015 01:00 (one year ago) Permalink

In 2015, the Super Bowl halftime show featured in nearly every performance the pro-homosexual activist Katy Perry. Perry became became popular among liberals for her pro-lesbian song in 2008, and is an outspoken supporter of gay rights.

The New Gay Sadness (cryptosicko), Monday, 7 September 2015 05:07 (one year ago) Permalink

proper nouns like "Democrat" are not converted into adjectives by adding "ic" as a suffix

this is moron-ic

Vasco da Gama, Monday, 7 September 2015 10:25 (one year ago) Permalink

sorry proper nouns let’s say byron-ic

Vasco da Gama, Monday, 7 September 2015 10:31 (one year ago) Permalink

Not to mention Quixotic.

I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Monday, 7 September 2015 13:31 (one year ago) Permalink


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