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I love it.

Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:05 (8 years ago) Permalink

I love this:
To this day politicians avoid growing beards due to how that alienates voters reminded of the hippies, whom many voters would never support.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:05 (8 years ago) Permalink

i haven't bothered finishing it...i liked how they deftly ignored (at the point i stopped reading) molecular evidence for evolution. also: pretty sure the reason fossil evidence is scanty is because, you know the earth has done and been through quite a lot over the last few hundred million years, so actually finding ANY fossils seems like a treat

river wolf, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:06 (8 years ago) Permalink

These people are terrifying:

Homosexuality constitutes a parasitic relationship with society. Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction). Homosexuality's existence is a threat to the continued existnce of the human race, and must be dealt with appropriately.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:13 (8 years ago) Permalink

(obviously I'm not saying homosexuals are terrifying)

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:13 (8 years ago) Permalink

"dealt with appropriately?"

*shudder*

river wolf, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

yeah, y'know, turned into something useful for society like soap or lampshades

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:18 (8 years ago) Permalink

Many of the entries are taken from a homeschooler encyclopedia cdrom.

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction).

FFS. So childless women are also parasites? THANK YOU CONSERVAPEDIA I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:23 (8 years ago) Permalink

Phil D., Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:26 (8 years ago) Permalink

Again, these are the people that Chris Hedges writes about.

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

http://www.rationalwiki.com/wiki/Chupacabra

abanana, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:30 (8 years ago) Permalink

I actually read a thing in a Chilean local paper's website about a Chupacabra being loose a few weeks ago. It's just used to mean a random beast or disease that is killing local goats though. But still quite quaint usage.

jim, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:33 (8 years ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservapedia

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:36 (8 years ago) Permalink

just checking that you mericans knows that that stuff in http://www.conservapedia.com/Drugs that "Nasty, Brutish & Short" quotes (shatner's bassoon et al) is from Brass Eye http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_Eye on drugs

Alan, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that one sounded pretty familiar.

kingfish, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:56 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yeah the cake thing rang a bell.

Trayce, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:57 (8 years ago) Permalink

I was just going to post the Brass Eye info, except I seemed to have left this page open on my browser for about 20 minutes without replying, and so 'tis not even truly an xpost.

emil.y, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 23:57 (8 years ago) Permalink

there have been 2-year xposts on ILX before

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 02:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

I remember that!

Still boggling at the 5-second excelsior tho.

Trayce, Thursday, 21 June 2007 02:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

I haven't gone there, but this all looks like "Onion" style 'satire' or is that stating the bleedin obv?

Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:47 (8 years ago) Permalink

I am creating a conservapedia account with a new gmail address simply so I can provide a citation to tha Hansard where David Ames asks the question. here btw

Ed, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:49 (8 years ago) Permalink

Just read the Wiki.. guess not.

Mark G, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:52 (8 years ago) Permalink

Disco was a flamboyant style of gay dance music in the 70s. Disco parties were noted for their outrageous clothes, drug use, and flashing lights.

Disco music was generally made by studio engineers using session musicians, and was pressed onto 12-inch singles, an innovation which allowed for high-fidelity recorded music over a large sound system. The name derives from the French word "Discotheque", a place for playing records.

TOO GAY FOR AMERICA

31g, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

Lennon subsequently apologized for those remarks.[Citation Needed]

31g, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

It (Conservapedia) is not funny anymore ;_; It's just depressingly stupid.

Pashmina, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:18 (8 years ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Golf

latebloomer, Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:48 (8 years ago) Permalink

:D

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:52 (8 years ago) Permalink

http://www.conservapedia.com/Other_gods

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:57 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hip Hop is a style of African American music in which African Americans chant over beats. It originated in the 70's in the South Bronx. Originally DJ's would loop a specific cut from popular funk or disco songs known as break beats. Eventually African American MCs would talk over the beats, mostly regarding the incredible skills of the DJ. This evoloved into the MCs talking about themselves and the amount of power money and sexual prowess they possessed.

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 21 June 2007 13:59 (8 years ago) Permalink

This evoloved

DJ EvoLoved, Monday nights, 9-close, $10. Ladies drink free.

kingfish, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:30 (8 years ago) Permalink

glad to see this gem is still there:

According to the origins theory model used by creation scientists, modern kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood. It has not yet been determined by baraminologists whether kangaroos form a holobaramin with the wallaby, tree-kangaroo, wallaroo, pademelon and quokka, or if all these species are in fact apobaraminic or polybaraminic. There is, however, no evidence of a genetic bottleneck in the kangaroo species which would be expected if all kangaroos were descended from two individuals.

After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land[5] with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart[6], or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.[5] The idea that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.

Other views on kangaroo origins include the belief of some Australian Aborigines that kangaroos were sung into existence by their ancestors during the "Dreamtime" [7] and the evolutionary view that kangaroos and the other marsupials evolved from a common marsupial ancestor which lived hundreds of millions of years ago.[8]

bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

I'd take the dreamtime expalnation over creationist bullshit any day.

Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:38 (8 years ago) Permalink

I just love the lumping together of aboriginal mythology and evolution. would this fall within the realms of a straw man argument, or have they just invented a totally new fallacy?

bernard snowy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:45 (8 years ago) Permalink

Here's a sane explanation of a "baramin", the creationist pseudo-scientific jargon in the piece above: http://wiki.cotch.net/index.php/Baramin

Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:50 (8 years ago) Permalink

Thank You, this article got me thinking

This article demonstrates the wonderful thing about conservipedia! I never realized that even my reading of the bible was corrupted by the liberal thought I've been force fed (despite having conservative parents). This article, in laying out the biblical passages on the subject clearly, made me realize that slavery isn't NECESSARILY all bad. Of course, I still think slavery of G-d fearing Christians is appalling, if they are determined slaves just because of the color of their skin. But because liberals decietfully used the obvious immorality of that to discount all slavery, even though G-d plainly wills it, I was even tricked into thinking all slavery was bad.

I had read those passages before of course, I just sort of ignored them, because they made me anxious. I didn't know how to reconcile it with the force-fed liberal ideas on slavery, that ignorantly lump all slavery together with Southern slavery. I never realized how much of a pernicious influence liberal ideas could have on even me. I never even knew any liberals growing up! To think, Satan's trickery could be so wily as to actually instill ideas in me that make me anxious when reading G-d's word.

Is there any movements to reinsitute slavery properly? I mean, I know that we have so much to battle right now, abortion, and secularism in general. But it just seems so wrong that a few impure slave-owners could tarnish a biblical institution. Its hopless right now, we are so embattled, but maybe in a few hundred years we can return to a biblical way of life. And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement.

Could the article have more on the virtues of slavery? Surely there has to be some commentary on it somewhere. Being a biblical institution it has to serve a purpose. And for those of you that say "it only applied in ancient times" I say how dare you insult G-d. He's omniscient, which implies what was right then was right now, or else He would have told us to change. InTheEvent 13:53, 19 June 2007 (EDT)

and what, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:46 (8 years ago) Permalink

hahahaha

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:50 (8 years ago) Permalink

Is he volunteering to be a slave, then?

Neil S, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:52 (8 years ago) Permalink

I was gonna say - somebody enslave that guy posthaste! He'll be cool with it, it's G-d's will!

Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

Famous Left-Wing Terrorist Groups

* PIRA
* Al-Qaeda

Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:57 (8 years ago) Permalink

"Though the liberal media continues to disparage Bush's handling of the economy, they often neglect to report the many aspects of the economy that Bush has improved. For example, during his term Exxon Mobil has posted the largest profit of any company in a single year, and executive salaries have greatly increased as well."

- A thought here: Either this poster is admirably subversive or he is functionally retarded.

jposnan, Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

Many people have reported leaving homosexuality and becoming heterosexual through their Christian faith.[27][28][29][30][31][32][33][34][35][36][37]

Eric H., Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

The thing about this site is that, except for the bits that idjits like Schlafly or that fundie homeschool textbook write added in themselves, the whole thing is Poe's Law writ large. You can't tell the legit batshit ravings from the fake.

kingfish, Thursday, 21 June 2007 20:58 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, I think a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, like that slave thing - "And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement."

The Yellow Kid, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:12 (8 years ago) Permalink

yeah, foxes in the henhouse

river wolf, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:13 (8 years ago) Permalink

Meanwhile, the folks over at RationalWiki have been compiling a rolling Best of Conservapedia for your amusement and/or horror/pity.

kingfish, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:01 (8 years ago) Permalink

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

14:00, 9 June 2007 Crocoite (Talk | contribs) blocked "Sm355 (contribs)" with an expiry time of infinite (troll - removing God from articles)

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 23:18 (8 years ago) Permalink

For you, ILX

Tape Store, Saturday, 23 June 2007 00:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

hahaha

Your user name or IP address has been blocked.

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Tape Store, Saturday, 23 June 2007 00:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

the wachowskis wtf

bizarro gazzara, Tuesday, 25 March 2014 11:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

There's a kind of perversely unintentional even-handedness in treating Lana's name with the same douchey scare-quotes as Andy's contracted name- I was expecting some kind of anti-trans screed.

"Leo K. O'Drudy, III also deduced that the Matrix films were likely to be Marxist propaganda."

Not THE Leo K. O'Drudy, III?

CAROUSEL! CAROUSEL! (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 21:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

Michel Foucault WROTE about lunatics, oh lunatics of conservapedia

Angkor Waht (Neil S), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 21:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

When a president who is a Democrat is mocked by a late night comic, it's over.[6]

Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 8 July 2014 05:58 (1 year ago) Permalink

Germany trounces same-sex marriage Brazil by a record-breaking rout of 7-1, in front of Brazil's home audience in the World Cup semifinals. [3] Like other nations growing in strength, Germany does not cave into the homosexual agenda.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 9 July 2014 01:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

It's Cleveland, Ohio! That's the site of the 2016 Republican National Convention. [7] LeBron James' agent reportedly wants him to return to Cleveland too.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 9 July 2014 01:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

really like this one

This is pathetic: the same-sex marriage nations of Argentina and Netherlands are unable to score a goal in 90 minutes, tying at 0-0 before Argentina then won on penalty kicks.

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 11 July 2014 20:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Misled by atheistic science about earthquakes, 94% in Napa (no active fault lines) went without earthquake insurance. [58] A week after the massive quake, atheistic science still cannot explain it.

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 10 September 2014 03:55 (11 months ago) Permalink

10 months pass...

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 6 August 2015 04:44 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

rennaisance

welltris (crüt), Thursday, 6 August 2015 04:59 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Proper spelling is elitist.

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 6 August 2015 05:19 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

so if "Approx level of technology" (a Whiggish view of technological change if there ever was one) is along the x axis, what's happening on the y axis?

Neil S, Thursday, 6 August 2015 08:59 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

love imagining that graph drawn in a single stroke. like that steve martin joke about the mona lisa. "how's this?" also love the lil dip between "greece" and "rome". what's that supposed to be. also lol @ the fall of rome being like 5x more severe than the bronze age collapse and taking humanity back to pre-adam tech levels.

x is mislabeled time.

playlists of pensive swift (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 6 August 2015 09:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

that is a treat

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 11:58 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Would love to know what kind of boss technology Adam had that was substantially more impressive than the building of Nea Ekklēsia, etc.

I wear my Redditor loathing with pride (ShariVari), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:11 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:38 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

considering there's presumably some kind of god-bothering axe being ground there, the Biblical timeline is all over the fucking shop. the Jewish diaspora should come some centuries after Egypt at its heights by Bible reckoning - ignoring the irl history, obv

the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:44 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the technology behind modesty fig leaves has been lost to the ages

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:46 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

hey they stayed on with no visible fastening

the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:46 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i think the 'dispersion' there is prob the aftermath of babel. meanwhile, if you are going to take babel at face value, i think a more significant tech spike is warranted.

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:48 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

ok that makes sense, assume the decline from Noah was after he invented booze

the lion tweets tonight (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:49 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

it's been a crazy 8000 years for technology

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Thursday, 6 August 2015 12:51 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

In a 1982-83 Doctor Who Magazine comic strip, The Stockbridge Horror, a militaristic Time Lord named Tubal Cain pilots a massive Battle TARDIS armed with "time torpedoes".

j., Thursday, 6 August 2015 13:25 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Would love to know what kind of boss technology Adam had that was substantially more impressive than the building of Nea Ekklēsia, etc.

This. Maybe if Adam had control over the flaming sword guarding Eden or something.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 6 August 2015 15:09 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

i thought the hip idea among the way-out xtian conservatives was that the "dark ages" were great.

goole, Thursday, 6 August 2015 15:13 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

aaaaablnnn (abanana), Thursday, 6 August 2015 17:21 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

The Bible criticizes liberal claptrap in 1 Corinthians 1:17.

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 21 August 2015 02:06 (1 week ago) Permalink


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