people that YELP are scumbags

shasta?

― gr8080, Saturday, February 19, 2011 4:13 PM (2 hours ago)

pffft, like i would venture that far down-market. should i point out the errors in that dude's review or is that way too far into the abyss?

**goes out to French-California restaurant with 3 Japanese people**

never change

http://eater.com/archives/2011/03/22/yelp-scolds-elite-yelpers-for-degenerate-feeding-frenzies.php

this thread continues to be deeply satisfying.

i like how the yelp 'team' writes like the yelp members:

Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Self, the event last night (as well as some others in the past) was overcrowded, and THAT is why the food did not reach everyone." And although Club A Steakhouse brought out a delicious and bountiful spread of steak, salmon, rack of lamb, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, crabcakes and more, you would be partially right.

disgusting

savages

why the fuck don't they cap attendance at these things?

yelp remains at the top of the opinions4u pecking order

haha having worked alongside catering planners for years i can sympathize

the saddest is the science conferences when the broke-ass grad students who maybe actually havent had a decent meal in weeks are fully taking advantage of the free hors d'oeuvres :(

STARTS SCREAMING AT ME IN LATINA
STARTS SCREAMING AT ME IN LATINA
STARTS SCREAMING AT ME IN LATINA
STARTS SCREAMING AT ME IN LATINA
STARTS SCREAMING AT ME IN LATINA
STARTS SCREAMING AT ME IN LATINA

i like how the yelp 'team' writes like the yelp members:

lol, i said this to myself!

Jack C.

Chi is Here
Berkeley, CA

3/26/2011 I'm dating this black chick now and we rolled into L.A.

"Imma get myself some waffles and fried chicken" - she says

"saaay waat gurl?" - I said in shock since I've never heard of that combination

"ohh yea, you never heard of Roscoe's chicken?" - she says in wide-eyed surprise

"ehh...no. Why don't we get ramen? It's healthier" - I said condescendingly.

"We always get Asian, let's get soul food. Roscoe's chicken is like a national treasure kinda like Niagara Falls or the Washington monument.

So we went, we had a fantastic time!

All I have to say is - I love dark meat, especially thighs!

Scott K.

Psssst, hey.... Hey, Scott..... no, no, no.... down here!

Yeah, it's me, your cock. Your schlong. Your prick. The porktube. Whatever you're calling me these days. How you doing up there? Look, uhh, you got a minute?

Good. How come you haven't been to the Good Luck Bar lately? Scott, you remember the Good Luck Bar. Not that I was eavesdropping, but I heard you tell that one girl this place was one of your favorite local dives. I mean, granted, it was a little hard to hear everything from down here, but I was wide awake - hell, I perked up as soon as I heard her say she was born in Korea or someplace. So I know what you said, okay? And there's usually some decent-looking women in this place, right? Of course, I can't actually see 'em. All I really have to go by are voices. I mean, you keep me like fucking Stevie Wonder in a dark basement down here -- the least you could do is give me the occasional open fly to work with. You know? Just give a brother a peek sometime - just a peek. That's all I'm saying.

But I digress. From the sound of it, this place pulls more of a hipster/pseudo-rockabilly kind of crowd, right? Well, tats on a girl can work. (Hell, I never could get any sleep with you checking out that Suicide Girls site back in the day - you know, before they started letting any old saggy-tittied, inked-up butterface pose for them.)

Aside from that, some cute Latinas usually manage to show up at the Good Luck, am I right? Some Latinas, some Asians? That's what it sounds like. If nothing else, there's always a nice tawdry blonde for you to make eyes at from across the bar, isn't there? Hell, just the atmosphere at the Good Luck perks me up. Have you noticed? The way you described that sleazy red lighting, the faux-Chinese decor. I could almost feel it through your Fruit of the Looms. Such a way with words you got there.

And those fruity mixed drinks? Does the phrase "looks like a woman, wallops you like a man" ring a bell? One of those Tokyo teas, or the Good Luck house special, and I'm ready to stand up and recite the Alec Baldwin speech from "Glengarry Glen Ross", y'know what I mean?

And there's that nice couch area where you can sit back and relax. It gives me room to stretch, lets you look like a dude who halfway knows what he's doing for a few minutes - we both win. I mean, maybe the drinks are a tad strong - after that last time we were there, I got sick in front of your friend and ended up barfing all over the place, remember? What a mess. (Hey, wait... wasn't that the girl from Korea?)

Well, anyway, I don't wanna sound ungrateful here. I mean, you take pretty good care of me. You do. You wash me regularly, for starters. You don't keep me caged up in briefs, and hey - I appreciate the freedom to stretch out at will throughout the day, it's important. It keeps the blood flowing, and you definitely want the blood flowing down here. Aside from the smell of those damn condoms - and the fact that they suffocate me and leave me feeling like a goddamn holiday roast stewing in its own juices - I'd say I'm pretty happy with you. Couldn't ask for a better guy to be attached to, alright?

But take me back to the Good Luck. Soon. Otherwise, I'll wait until you pick up some fucking Miss Puerto Rico 2008-looking broad and I will flat out refuse to cooperate. That's right. You heard me. And you don't want that. I think you have an image to maintain, right? Stories to live up to? Something like that?

Do the right thing, Scott. Thanks.

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for some reason his cock has Burgess Meredith's voice when i hear it in my head

http://i.imgur.com/BJwVA.jpg

the sign, it is humorously large

good luck bar is dope

The porktube

Nichole F.
Chicago, IL
2.0 star rating
2/16/2011

I am giving Chez Panisse Cafe 2 stars based on three things - The food, maitre de and the space itself is beautiful.

I came here while on vacation in San Fran. celebrating my 30th birthday (husband and my best friend and her husband in tow). We were so excited to get a reservation as we wanted for a very long time to come here (We are from Chicago) and wanted somewhere nice but not too over the top to celebrate my birthday which also happens to be V-day. They touted the V-day evening as having live music and dancing which I was also excited about to have a nice romantic, fun evening. Unfortunately, the music wasn't exactly the dancing type (in many cases just strings plucking on random notes) for the most part and no one danced because of this and am guessing the fact that there was really no room to dance. I was really disappointed with that aspect.

We arrived about 20 minutes early and the maitre de made us feel at home as we waited at the bar and had a glass of wine. He was really great.

Here's the problem that basically ruined my birthday and valentines day for the rest of our table. Our server (Daniel) was AWFUL. It took him far too long to come to our table and when he did, there was no real introduction, no welcome, etc. He just said ''so do you know what you want?'' My husband and I were just taken back by his demeanor and unprofessional behavior but didn't say anything. What threw it over the edge was when we were done with our apps, our silver was to be replaced. Our server placed everyone else's silver as is expected but he actually looked and me, shoved a spoon in my face and said here you go making me grab the spoon from him and subsequently, my knife. It was over after that. I was pissed.

As I said, the food was good. The only 2 things are that I had the vegetable lasagna for my entree which could have used some more salt and some garlic but everyone else's dishes were solid. We ordered olives and sardines for the table and the sardines were WAY too salty. I enjoy salt but I felt like I ate a spoonful of salt with these.

When we were almost done with entrees, the server came by and all of a sudden seemed to give a damn Not sure it it was because the maitre de let the server in on the fact that it was my birthday or he realized were were unhappy. Odd enough, he (the maitre de) assured my husband at the beginning of the evening that they would take great care of us....In any case the damage was done and I was doing my best to keep a happy face on in an effort to not make the evening uncomfortable.

We ordered cheese and a piece of chocolate cake with cognac ice cream for dessert. Cheese came first as we requested and the cake came out with a candle and piece of paper placed on the cake that said happy birthday and happy valentines day. Here's the real kicker. Instead of the server saying happy birthday, he had the nerve to say "is it really your birthday?" in a snarky tone as to say are you just doing this for a free piece of cake (which it was not comped BTW)? As if somehow no one is EVER born on February 14 - ever. He left the table and I started fuming. I was about to get up and find him and say - did you want to see my drivers license you jerk? What the hell is this guy's problem?

I can't tell you how disappointed this whole evening was - I get more upset the longer I think about it. That server has no business being in a restaurant of this caliber and should be an embarrassment to Alice Waters and the industry as a whole.

FYI they tack on an automatic 17% service charge so our server knows he can provide the crappiest of service but he'll still get his 17%. Maybe that's part of the problem.

I admire and appreciate everything that Alice Waters has done for the industry and to her community, etc. I can now say I've been but can say I won't be going back if I am ever in the area again.

the server had the nerve to ask her what she wanted, bring her utensils, joke with her in a friendly fashion and then make her pay for a cake she ate.

what the fuck is it with YELP people and being livid about "the service," like by walking into a restaurant you are guaranteed to be waited on hand and foot w/ everything short of the 'rimbjob chairs' from Naked Lunch.

I can count the number of meals I've been upset with "the service" on literally zero hands. The sense of entitlement on people like this is just fucking baffling to me. Whenever like my iced tea refill never comes or a check is a little late, I p much think, "well, it's a busy restaurant and this person is doing 9000 things and hey, shit happens." Not "I MUST REGISTER MY DISGUST TO THE INTERNET"

...because that's actually a deece cafe/restaurant and not subway/starbucks?

steve shasta is a yelper

― http://i54.tinypic.com/11l4yvn.gif, Tuesday, March 18, 2008 1:31 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

no one danced because of this and am guessing the fact that there was really no room to dance. I was really disappointed with that aspect.

this reminds me of my PRR parodies or something

tbqh her first problem was going out to a restaurant on a major holiday, that's probably why the service sucked.

Wow Whiney, you've NEVER had bad service? Ever?

Must be nice to be white; there are entire chain establishments I don't go to anymore after consistent poor treatment in comparison to white patrons, from things like being led past empty tables in the front/middle of the room to the table in the corner next to the bathroom and getting ignored for 30 minutes to, most infamously, being with a group of friends after a wedding and having the server take EVERYONE'S drink order except for mine and my wife's, leaving, sending someone else back with the drinks, starting to take EVERYONE'S food/snack order before even coming back to ask us what we wanted to drink, NOT taking our food order at the same time and bringing out everyone else's food before our drinks showed up. (We were the only black people at the table, and yes there were maybe 10 of us, but we were all sitting together and talking to each other and dressed well because we'd all just come from a wedding reception.)

I think it's a lot more effective to complain to a manager about truly bad service then it is to write a negative Yelp! review about bad service.

That said I don't really think most service complaints (Dan's kind are the obvious exception) amount to much myself.

"Our server placed everyone else's silver as is expected but he actually looked and me, shoved a spoon in my face and said here you go making me grab the spoon from him and subsequently, my knife."

This is kind of weird which makes me think that the server was tweaking her (either jokingly or because he didn't like her.) Either way wouldn't make me "pissed."

that whole part of the evening was a disaster; the groom, who was a conservative preppy white dude who had never actually witnessed this type of thing before, had a meltdown and started screaming at the server, who burst into tears and ran for her manager, and I had to be the one to calm everything down to keep the police from being called even though I was the wronged party, which is kind of my life in microcosm now that I think about it

While I was talking to the manager and telling him everything that happened, another server who had nothing to do with our table snottily butted in and tried to snap at me for making our original horrible server cry, which made me turn to the manager and say, "I am not trying to get our original server fired, but this one over here who had nothing to do with the situation but somehow thinks it's important to put her unnecessary two cents in when I, the wronged person, am trying to calm things down, she should be fired RIGHT NOW."

good times

damn

Experiences like that make me even MORE incensed when ppl are like "he handed me my fork wrong and it RUINED MY EVENING"; it's like, shut the fuck up, you have no idea what bad service actually is.

one of the best parts about being white is never having to deal with assholes

yes, that's the takeaway here

well one of the great things about America is that you can say 'fuck you' with your tip. I guess you can't in a big party though.

you can only say 'fuck you' with your tip if you're a guy

sorry, bad joke

"I am not trying to get our original server fired, but this one over here who had nothing to do with the situation but somehow thinks it's important to put her unnecessary two cents in when I, the wronged person, am trying to calm things down, she should be fired RIGHT NOW."

This is like a work of art, pulling that out under the circumstances has my awe & admiration.

idgi. why not want to get the racist server fired?

whiney, check this thread

ts: bad service at restaurants vs people who often complain about bad service at restaurants

idgi. why not want to get the racist server fired?

Mostly because of the severely gross overreaction of our friend, who was a good foot taller than her, drunk, and screaming threatening shit in her face; basically I was trying to keep the police from getting involved.

it seems like a weird instance of racism though - like, perhaps subconscious? I mean if I were with *any* group of people and some of them were clearly getting worse service than others, I can't imagine they'dd take it quietly, and you would think a waitress would know that and save her purposely-poor-service for when two black people sit down at their own table.

(but maybe she was just an idiot.)

I don't think it was that overtly intentional; I think because of the way we were seated (all of us at a series of two-person tables pushed together with my wife and me on the end) I think she managed to get it into her head that somehow we possibly couldn't all be part of the same party, even though our tables were together and we were all in suits/dresses.

I didn't really get angry until the second round of drinks came out and our first hadn't even arrived; by that point it was made clear to her that we were all together and we had flagged her down and made her put in our order with the second round, so there was no reason for them not to all come out together.

The one-two combination of being made to feel invisible combined with getting yelled at from someone outside of the situation when I was talking to the manager is what pushed me over the edge.

and who could blame you. well played, seriously. I think that if you go to restaurants with any frequency and you have an ounce of compassion in you you'll give the server the benefit of the doubt the first time (or two). But to say that bad service is some kind of myth or thing that only touchy idiots experience is weirdly naive. If the service is bad, I usually feed awkward about mentioning anything unless it's particularly egregious, but going straight to Yelp with a scathing, yet humorous review is obvious pass/agg bullshit and those people are cunts of the highest order. I've gotten up and left a place for bad service before, and I've seen bad get REALLY bad, but one should always be gentle at first. I've firmly believed working in the service industry or restaurant industry should be mandatory like the Israeli Army - it changes your perspective.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/abortionplex-topeka?rpp=40&sort_by=date_desc

"I like to tell my friends that my opinion is important," says 29-year-old research scientist Kristin Patrick. "When I go into a restaurant, the owner says, 'You're here to write a review, aren't you?' I'll say, 'Don't worry, I'm Elite.'"

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/11_24/b4232083260194.htm

I ordered a hybird-sized (small) and a freebird-sized (regular) burrito, both with exactly the same ingredients. To my dismay, they were both the same exact size when received. The freebird burrito did not look anything like the sample displayed, and when inquired, the explanation received was that both start with the same portions and vary with the toppings chosen. That logic is bogus, erroneous and does not account for proportionality. I ate my burrito with disdain and vow never to return.

That last line.

i eat with disdain, you bet