Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven

I am confused.

What is confusing you? That anyone would put Diane Lane in the lead in a romantic comedy opposite John Cusack? I'm confused by that too.

No, the giraffe.

I could tell Must Love Dogs would be bad by the commercial.

Charlotte was charming. But you knew it was time to leave the pub when she started licking her own nipples.

That sounds worse than it was. From a male-only perspective, possibly.

Now it is my turn to be confused.

Now Diane Lane is crying in the nude in her shower because Dermot Mulroney is not a nice man. I could have told her that.

You have never met Charlotte (the giraffe woman). Nor are you likely to, now she's living in Dubai and divorced.

Well, if she can get a giraffe anwywhere, Dubai would be the place.

Anywhere. I R RITE PROFSHENUL

UR A LULVY DRUNK, you are welcome round mine to sample my sausage any time. Or I can come round yours and deliver my sausage in the convenience of your own home.

(ILX threadmeld ahoy)

(also, I might have had a drinky)

UR ME BEST FUCKEN PAL N ALL, BRISTOLS!

Don't worry, fellow pants-threaders, only 13 more nights till Mister M gets back.

I'm off to walk the dogs and go to bed. Night all.

Mmmm, bristols.

(that might not travel)

Kind of candy?

Rhyming slang. Football-based.

aldo: Bristols are Football based? Surely you're pulling my leg!

Mz M, you only wore your coat once last year? What with the ice storm shutting down the city for a week and all?! I'm impressed by your cold-hardiness. Wishful thinking to anticipate any kind of cool snap here, but I continue to be an optimist about these things. Failing that, I'll be in NY in early December and that will give me a little cold fix. Damn the panhandle for getting my hopes up!

I switched to sitting on the exercise ball chair and took some B12 to combat afternoon fatigue. I also removed the office trash, as the rotting onion and overripe banana smell were a bit much.

Yes.....

Some kind of rhyme with 'Rovers'?

xpost

not the one with city then?

Yes, the one with City. (Bristol Citys=titties) Peurile I NOES.

In other news, I knew I had been losing weight but tonight I was able to fit into a bespoke waiscoat from 6 years ago. I still need to lose another inch or so for it to be comfortable, but WAU.

Kind of candy?

(Bristol Citys=titties)

So, I wasn't entirely wrong, then. ;)

aldo, what level of pishedness makes you decide to try on waistcoats?

I have only watched one film on Sky Movies since we got it, and that was Mr and Mrs Smith. It wasn't very good. OK, I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off the other day, but I watch that every time it's on despite having seen it like a zillion times. We only have one working TV in the house, so watching a film means leaving Neil devoid of TV for the evening (chance of him sitting through a film of my choosing is fairly close to zero), or else interrupting my daytime routine of ILXing, Dawson's Creek, Neighbours, Countdown and re-runs of Two and a Half Men. I R SADDO.

right aldo, I just don't see where you get the football in there with the titties. It might improve the popularity of it over here!

Football team = Bristol City

It is waistcoat I have that goes with one of my three piece suits. I last tried in on about a year ago (actually, I think the weekend before last Xmas ATP and it was a good 4 inches, maybe more off shutting. Tonight it just seemed like a good idea, because it is an awesome suit.

xpost to ailsa

Bristol City is an football club.

bah double xpost to ailsa

I just beated you at Scrabble with my last go :-)

I saw it coming, you had (I think) three outs for that 'a'. I got stuck with the 'z' two moves to go.

I knew I had been losing weight but tonight I was able to fit into a bespoke waiscoat from 6 years ago.

I need to get serious about my massively poor diet. I was doing pretty well for a few months there, but now I'm back to eating just plain rubbish again.

The medication I'm on makes my hands and feet swell up, and I suspect it's diet-related; in fact I suspect it's salt-related, so I started keeping a diary of what I was eating. It makes depressing reading.

Wednesday remorse!

I should be losing about 20lbs but it is wrong time of year cos of stew and dumplings.NOMNOMNOM

btw, aldo and onimo - I am at home today as I have a house of sick people, so don't bother sending emails to me expecting an answer today.

Also watching Sumo.tv which is showing weird but entertaining 60's sci-fi hippy type film called The Monitors. (imbd link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064684/fullcredits#cast">=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064684/fullcredits#cast)

I would LOVE a monkey. Just a wee one. Hey, Mister M is away for a couple of weeks. It could be moved in and everything, he couldn't turn it away once I had taught it to do sad eyes. "Do sad eyes, ickle Chee Chee" I would say, and it would wring its little hands and make sad monkey eyes and Mister M would saw "aw, wook at its wittle eyes" and divorce me for being mental.

I lolled...

Wait, what's this about rinsing soap off of plates? Is there any other way? (Oh jesus, there's probably a 700 flame thread about it :( )

Wednesday remorse!

Rubbish! Chee chee stories always much appreciated.

Aldo, I am jealous of lovely suit. Ailsa, Mr & Mrs Smith is terrifyingly bad. Misery, Patita: Put on your coats, you'll catch your death of cold. Guilty, get well soon. Order thai curry takeaway, v spicy, and burn evil disease out of you! Kv_lol out...

Also:

[Dialogue borrowed from a "Rocky" movie]
This guy is a bulldozer with a wrecking ball attached
He'll leave a ring around your eye and tread marks on your back
He's an animal
He's hungry
You ain't been hungry, since "Supreme Clientele"
Remember what you first told me when I took ya in
You wanted to be a fighter (Yeah!)
You wanted to be a killer (New York Stand Up)
You wanted to be the Champ! (Got your boy in the booth nigga)
You ain't hungry
Matter of fact I don't want you in my gym
Get out of my ring, you disgust me

[Ghostface Killah]
Godzilla bankroll
Stones from Stilion
Yo I ain't got it all, that means I barely home
Trailblazer stay ballin
Revenge is my arts is crafty darts
While y'all stuck on Laffy Taffy
Wonderin' how y'all niggaz get past me
I been doin this before Nas dropped the Nasty
My wallos I did 'em up
Them bricks I send 'em up
My raps y'all bit 'em up
For that now stick 'em up
Ten Four good buddy Tone got is money up
Worth millions still back your bitch lookin bummy what
Ya'll staring at the angel of death
Liar liar pants on fire You burning up like David Koresh
This is architect music
Verbal street opera pop a 'tec man fully got the projects booming indeed
I ran through the tunnel
Terrorize speed
That's when I was still in the jungle slangin that D

[Spoken over the beat]
Get out my face! No you ain't got no mo?'.
Don't need no has been messin' up my corner
And you better get that mad look off your face for I knock it off
Hey fool you ready for another beating
You should have never came back
Look here man after I crucify him, you next!
And you better have a good doctor to rearrange your face
I'm the Champ!

[Ghostface Killah]
Who want to battle the Don?
I'm James Bond in the Octagon with two razors
Bet cha'all didn't know I had a fake arm
I lost it, wild and raw before rap, I was gettin' it on
Took a fat nigga out in like 40secs
My gun get hard wit a 45 still erects and eagle on
Kangol hat slanted coconut bounce to Morocco
Guerilla medallions like Flavor Flav clock yo
Niggaz want me dead but they scared to step to me
Rip they guts out like a hysterectomy
When beef collide look on the flip by the penitentiary kite
Or get you bumped off from the inside
Jaws is hanging
Frauds is leftin they draws on the floor complaining
Bird ass nigga resemble Keenon Ivory Waynes
Stay in your place dirt born rappers get Shadow box for training ?
Ya'll still eatin bacon

[Spoken over the beat]
Think nobody can; don't give this nigga no statue give him death
I told y'all I wasn't going away
You had your shot no give me mine
Now why don't you tell these folks why you been ducking me, politics man
You think you going to keep me down
They don't want me to have the title
Because I'm not a puppet like that fool up there
Ask his woman she get more pipe from the plumber than in bed
I'm the Champ!

[Ghostface Killah]
I like the deuce of diamonds cutting spades on a glass table
Half a mil on my left ankle
Terry cloth Guess shorts robes is comfortable
Bring me a nice bitch that means I'll fuck with you
My swagger is Mick Jaeger stones is rolling
Prestige is cut to it tis ? spark when weed went up
The Cocoa leaf is slightly damp
Sprouting in the backyard next to Gran duke tomato plants
And jets get charted marquee shit with the cars on it
They head and they earl to the toilet and vomit
Back East summer MC king since Cuban
Pretty Tone Iron Man and Bulletproof and Supreme
Proof and you double deuce in the jeans
My man ? was on the floor with the mother load both of them green
IBF WBC Cruiserweight title shots and Rap belts belong to D.C.

[Spoken over the beat]
Listen I am bad, I said I am bad
I'm a bad man
I'm so bad sometimes I's scare myself
Sometimes I look in the mirror and want to kiss myself I'm so pretty
Now who am I (The Man!)
Now who am I (The Man!)
Who (The Man!)
That's right and don't y'all forget it

Ladies and gentlemen!
The winner by consecutive knockout and still champion of the worlllllllld!
Ghostface Killllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[cheering in the background]

AMEN

For kv_lol

Defend the Indefensible: British People Not Rinsing Soap Off the Dishes

Oh no :( Thanks though.

Guilty, get well soon. Order thai curry takeaway, v spicy, and burn evil disease out of you!

Actually, kv, I'm the only one not ill. I would have gone to work but my SO gets basilar artery migraines which lead to temporary semi paralysis (she loses power down one side of her body)and temporary short term memory loss (she loses the last year or so). It normally wears off after about 10 hours but it is not advisable to leave her alone.

SO's daughter has flu.

I can't have takeaway curry anymore because I have developed a nut allergy, which is serious enough to bring on anaphalactic shock should I have too much peanut or almond. It is depressing and I am now craving thai curries!

Oh shit Guilty, sorry. Thought it was a cold. That's terrible for your poor SO. Also sick kids are no fun :(

No thai curries though? That is rough

Actually sick kid is 21, so hopefully she'll stay in bed most of the day.

I can make my own curries, of course, but it's never the same.

Are you still coming for ROUGH CIDER this weekend, Mr Boksen?

Oh yes. It's only Wednesday and I am as fit as a viola.

Did you have qualms about missing either of the footy matches? Or will they have either of them on in rough cider house? Is it one of the rough cider house rules to show the footy?

It does not have a telly, and would probably be showing the England game if it did. Which is not the one I really want to watch. ;_;

And there are no other places in Brizzle that would be showing the Scotland match?

hi dere busy thread.

I was all Diet Boy this morning with my Big Bag of Fresh Fruit then I walked into the office and was offered CAKE which I couldn't possibly refuse. Maybe tomorrow...

I considered joining a local diet club thing where I'd get weighed and shamed every week as it might be the kick up the arse I need but then I spotted "6.30-7.00: Fun Dancing" - there's no fucking way I'm doing The Way To Amarillo while dodging bingo wings in a community centre. I'd rather be fat, frankly.

Sorry to hear about Mrs Boksette mate, hope she gets back to her old self soon.

God, GB, that's a major pain of a health problem your SO has. My huge sympathies go out there.

Now, I have to do work today, of both the paid and house kind.

We had a parents' night at the school last night. I've discovered that a side effect of being on the school board is that teachers give you much more of their time - meaning that all the other parents were growling at us when we finally got out :(

Both boys got good reports so we bought them books at the school book fair as a reward. Mark chose some 600 page pirate epic which is way beyond his current reading level, meaning I'll likely be saying AAARRRR a lot in the next few weeks.

David's teacher says he's been teaching her all about how negative numbers work. I think she was kind of hinting that we're teaching him too much at home but we have nothing to do with it really.

And there are no other places in Brizzle that would be showing the Scotland match?

There's a pub in St Annes, possibly, but I don't think we want to go there.

"6.30-7.00: Fun Dancing" - there's no fucking way I'm doing The Way To Amarillo while dodging bingo wings in a community centre. I'd rather be fat, frankly.

As OTFM as a fly who lands on a fiver, on which somebody has drawn a giant spurting cock.

Go to a shitty sports bar (Walkabout's likely to show every game isn't it?) for the duration of the match and spend the rest of the day somewhere nice.

kids theorize the darndest imaginary numbers!

Duration of the match is practically the entire time we're out. ;_;

Both boys got good reports so we bought them books at the school book fair as a reward. Mark chose some 600 page pirate epic which is way beyond his current reading level, meaning I'll likely be saying AAARRRR a lot in the next few weeks.

Loved those book fairs when I were a nipper.

David's teacher says he's been teaching her all about how negative numbers work. I think she was kind of hinting that we're teaching him too much at home but we have nothing to do with it really.

Nonsense! Hardly your fault the child's a genius. In fact in from chatting with you on ILX I would hazard that it is more likely in spite of you that the child's a genius.

Rugby this weekend's going to be class people. Can't wait. No visitors, nothing to do. Will get some cans with SO and sit on couch getting quietly merry.

That has to be weakest zing of all time. I do apologise u_u