that movie is gross
― horseshoe, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:42 (thirteen years ago) link
so gross
― ENBB, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:43 (thirteen years ago) link
Cop Out is a Bruce Willis/Tracy Morgan buddy cop movie released last year
seem to recall that the working title for this was Just a Couple of Dicks or something similiar
― Blazes Boyband (Pillbox), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:44 (thirteen years ago) link
yah chasing amy is bad but i think dogma is just as bad in smith apparently thinking he has something new and interesting and insightful to say about religion
― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:45 (thirteen years ago) link
Haven't seen Cop Out yet, so I'm going to have to go with Zach and Miri. Pretty awful stuff. Clerks II had moments. Jersey Girl was redeemed by some genuine moments of sweetness (the same stuff that saved Chasing Amy imho) and Carlin. Mallrats will forever be my favorite.
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:45 (thirteen years ago) link
guys what if god is ... a woman?
Dogma is pretty ridiculous but i think it's up there w/ Mallrats as his funniest movie anyway
― Alex Da Dad (some dude), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:46 (thirteen years ago) link
mallrats def the one i can still watch without feeling weird about having loved it 10 yrs ago
― max, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:46 (thirteen years ago) link
prince loves dogma, dunno if that changes anything for anyone
he has something new and interesting and insightful to say about religion
fwiw, this really isn't the impression he gave off in interviews about the film, it was more "I'm trying to point these out to my core audience who probably couldn't be bothered to care about the inconsistencies wrt to religion" than "this is NEW and INSIGHTFUL".
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:47 (thirteen years ago) link
Max otm re Mallrats. I still think it's p good.
― ENBB, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:47 (thirteen years ago) link
i only saw dogma the one time...maybe i was too distracted by being irritated by its pretensions to theological significance but i didn't think it was that funny. matt damon is kind of funny, i guess.
― horseshoe, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:47 (thirteen years ago) link
the whole thing about ass-to-mouth in clerks 2 was probably the moment where i was like "jesus f-ing christ what is wrong with this dude" and then all of a sudden every other movie he made seemed similarly gross
except mallrats and to some extent clerks
― max, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link
or a stranger on a bus
― Blazes Boyband (Pillbox), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link
i love mallrats; you just have to fast forward all the jason london/claire forlani scenes. jason lee and shannen doherty are a++
― horseshoe, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link
http://wondermark.com/c/2008-06-10-415night.gif
― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link
thread needs shakey mo
― buzza, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:49 (thirteen years ago) link
for me it's likeguilty pleasure movie, will lol when it's on tv: Mallrats, Dogma, J&S Strike Backthought were decent but don't need to see again: Clerks, Jersey Girl, Cop Outwrong on so many levels: Clerks II, Zack & Miri, Chasing Amy
― Alex Da Dad (some dude), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:49 (thirteen years ago) link
what 90s movies would one describe as being similar to kevin smith's. im trying to think of comparable stuff
― *gets the power* (deej), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:49 (thirteen years ago) link
tempted to agree w this, but Claire Forlani is so g-d hot in this movie
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:49 (thirteen years ago) link
she is like andie mcdowell-level wtf is wrong with you why can't you talk/act like a human being annoying to me
― horseshoe, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:50 (thirteen years ago) link
she is v pretty i guess
Dogma was funny as hell but hampered by obvious jokes and eye-rolly dramatic moments. Pace suffers heavily in the middle, and there's also way too many characters but that's synonymous with Smith.
But still funny if not exhausting
― five deadly venoms (San Te), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:52 (thirteen years ago) link
shes british, is the thing
xp[
― max, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:52 (thirteen years ago) link
Its weird, I've found her "pretty" but not much more in everything else, but in Mallrats she is like all-time ws. Must be the glasses.
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 19:53 (thirteen years ago) link
totally in love with her in that 3 hour film where she and Brad Pitt had well-lit sex.
― Gukbe, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:53 (thirteen years ago) link
imdb tells me that claire forlani starred opposite toby keith in the 2008 film beer for my horses
― horseshoe, Monday, 17 January 2011 19:59 (thirteen years ago) link
I saw Clerks II in a theater and remember laughing a fair amount. Would I watch it again? Probably not.
― that's not funny. (unperson), Monday, 17 January 2011 20:02 (thirteen years ago) link
Zack and MIri is so tone-deaf and inept. What's killed Smith is his total incompetence as a director, so there's nothing there to salvage his excesses as a writer. Like, his movies are just so poorly blocked, shot, lit, edited, etc. that it just destroys any timing that might have helped such otherwise DOA gags as, say, Z&M's porn star taking a huge shit on that guy's head. I don't know if that ever would have been funny, but man, it couldn't be any worse.
He's a great talker, though, which is why I'd take any of his stand-up DVDs over any of his movies.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 17 January 2011 20:23 (thirteen years ago) link
clerks 2
― moholy-nagl (history mayne), Monday, 17 January 2011 20:25 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^ otm
Which is why his recent comments about giving up movie-making (after his upcoming horror and hockey flicks) and sticking with "talking" (podcasts and live appearances) don't bother me at all.
(xpost)
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 20:25 (thirteen years ago) link
I have seen all but Cop Out, and it really has to be Zack and Miri Make a Porno.
this. and i'm afraid Cop Out is going to be worse... ;_;
― Ludo, Monday, 17 January 2011 20:32 (thirteen years ago) link
don't know why people expect the worst of Cop Out, if anyone's Hollywood paycheck movie is likely to be no worse than his passion projects it's Kevin Smith
― some dude, Monday, 17 January 2011 20:34 (thirteen years ago) link
What's killed Smith is his total incompetence as a director
Yeah, you'd think he'd have picked up the basics by now.
― The baby boomers have defined everything once and for all (Dorianlynskey), Monday, 17 January 2011 20:37 (thirteen years ago) link
xp fair point and i sort of liked Jersey Girl, but you could also argue that his movies have steadily declined in quality since the beginning. (that seems like a feat in itself, how could every movie possible be worse than the one preceding)
― Ludo, Monday, 17 January 2011 20:38 (thirteen years ago) link
Well I think part of the problem is that his lack of directorial knowledge and skill really served his first couple of movies, but the more ambitious he became the more the lack of "basics" has come back to bite him in the ass. I'm still pretty anxious to see Red State though, maybe a complete change of pace and tone will inject his work with something exciting.
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 20:40 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah i'm not holding my breath but on the surface Red State seems like a somewhat promising change of direction for him
― some dude, Monday, 17 January 2011 20:46 (thirteen years ago) link
Yeah, I'm 80% sure it will be terrible, but there's something about how passionately he is tackling this project that has given me a little more hope. Same goes for Hit Somebody, the hockey flick that is coming up after that.
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 20:48 (thirteen years ago) link
My computer downloaded the latest episode of Marc Marron's WTF today but when I saw that it was 95 minutes of Kevin Smith talking about weed, I couldn't face listening to it and pressed stop.
― James Mitchell, Monday, 17 January 2011 21:05 (thirteen years ago) link
Yeah, his weed obsession of late is the least interesting thing to hear him talk about, but I typically enjoy 95 minutes of him spouting off about random bullshit. His Harry Potter recapts with Mosier are great listening.
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 21:07 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah cop out was really bad, though not in the "kevin smith" way that say clerks 2 is. in fact i didnt recall that kevin smith directed cop out until his name came up at the end
― johnny crunch, Monday, 17 January 2011 21:07 (thirteen years ago) link
this thread is basically TS: bowl of vomit vs. pile of shit
― ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 January 2011 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link
― horseshoe, Monday, January 17, 2011 2:59 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark
haha this post is killing me for some reason
― Princess TamTam, Monday, 17 January 2011 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link
I'm so glad you bothered to click on this thread.
― one pretty obvious guy in the obvious (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 17 January 2011 21:18 (thirteen years ago) link
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTgzMDExNDU5NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDI3NzA4MQ@@._V1._SX598_SY400_.jpg
― ENBB, Monday, 17 January 2011 21:18 (thirteen years ago) link
to be fair someone said "thread needs shakey mo" before he showed up
― some dude, Monday, 17 January 2011 21:19 (thirteen years ago) link
http://img1.cbimg.cdn.celebuzz.com/cb/assets/users16/celebuzz/default/gallery-msg-12366488194-3.jpg
― ex-heroin addict tricycle (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 January 2011 21:20 (thirteen years ago) link
tried to watch mallrats on nflixWI the other night and it pretty much sucked.
― i love you but i have chosen snarkness (Steve Shasta), Monday, 17 January 2011 21:21 (thirteen years ago) link
sweet stonewash jnkos dawg
;_;
omg giant jorts and tiny little feet
― ENBB, Monday, 17 January 2011 21:22 (thirteen years ago) link
Kinda envy these characters for living in a world where Kevin Smith never made a movie.
idk I kinda picture Randall constantly making references to the titles of other Kevin Smith movies then looking straight at the camera
― frogbs, Thursday, 7 July 2022 03:10 (one year ago) link
Dogma was pretty funny to me at the time, though I remember it also has a lot of awful moralizing speeches. A several people on reddit were saying they don't have high hopes for Clerks 3 because all his movies after Clerks 2 have been bad. It's like, first, I can't believe Clerks 2 isn't lumped in with those bad movies, and second, it's hard to imagine what the worse movies than it would be like
― Vinnie, Thursday, 7 July 2022 03:13 (one year ago) link
"I like your jersey, girl" *stares at camera for 10 seconds*
― Vinnie, Thursday, 7 July 2022 03:14 (one year ago) link
"oh, we're just Clerks? well you're Clerks 2!!"
― frogbs, Thursday, 7 July 2022 03:15 (one year ago) link
Out of all these titles the only one I've seen was Dogma, at home on a DVD checked out from my public library, so I didn't pay a cent to see it. I appreciated it in the same spirit that I'd appreciate a goofy novelty song on the radio, like hearing an Alvin & the Chipmunks Christmas Album. Or to draw a closer analogy, like a movie that got made just so a bunch of Hollywood chums could get together and have a good time making a movie on someone else's dime, like Smokey and the Bandit II. On that level, it was fitfully amusing and hard to get angry about. I even liked the stupid Catholic theology plot.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 7 July 2022 03:16 (one year ago) link
i saw dogma in the theater when it was released with my cool fun cousins and we had a decent time. we may have had a couple of beers. haven’t seen it since, but I fully believe it’s probably p bad. I really only liked Clerks and parts of Mallrats. def a time/ place thing for me.
― no one wants to twerk anymore (will), Thursday, 7 July 2022 03:45 (one year ago) link
I seem to remember thinking Dogma was good at the time, but now all I remember is a guy in the cinema proposing to his gf near the start of the film, her turning him down, and him seething next to her for the next half hour before shouting something at her and walking out of the auditorium.
Chasing Amy is downright offensive. Mallrats... I really wanted it to be funny. But in retrospect it's just a bunch of weak anal sex jokes, and most of the actors in it can't act (that London kid... jeez.)
― politics is about vibes and the vibes are off (stevie), Thursday, 7 July 2022 08:51 (one year ago) link
lol proposing in a theater as a Kevin Smith movie begins wtf
― Cow_Art, Thursday, 7 July 2022 09:32 (one year ago) link
At the Camden Town Odeon, too.
― politics is about vibes and the vibes are off (stevie), Thursday, 7 July 2022 09:52 (one year ago) link
"Will you snoochie my boochies til death do us part?"
get this what if jay and silent bob smoked a really big blunt
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Thursday, 7 July 2022 09:59 (one year ago) link
always forget that mallrats guy is the twin brother of the dazed & confused guy and not just the same guy
― no one wants to twerk anymore (will), Thursday, 7 July 2022 10:09 (one year ago) link
and by “always” I mean the 3 times it’s crossed my mind since 1996
― no one wants to twerk anymore (will), Thursday, 7 July 2022 10:10 (one year ago) link
Has anyone, even his fans/defenders, seen those “Hockey Hosers” movies with his daughter?
― Antifa Sandwich Artist (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 7 July 2022 13:08 (one year ago) link
Huge LOL at the moment when, after the entire trailer has been the same 4 actors actors reenacting the same old scenes from the same old Kevin Smith movies, the text appears: "WELCOME TO A NEW ERA"
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Thursday, 7 July 2022 13:34 (one year ago) link
"Yes, I will feed the dog, Ma!" [Gives camera a "see what I did there" look]
― nickn, Thursday, 7 July 2022 16:24 (one year ago) link
today I learned
― papal hotwife (milo z), Thursday, 7 July 2022 17:09 (one year ago) link
Or to draw a closer analogy, like a movie that got made just so a bunch of Hollywood chums could get together and have a good time making a movie on someone else's dime, like Smokey and the Bandit II. On that level, it was fitfully amusing and hard to get angry about.
yeah this is what it kinda boils down to for me, Kevin Smith's early movies worked because they seemed like a lot of fun to make. they're like those shitty SNL sketches that eventually devolve into the actors just trying to make each other laugh. Clerks 1 worked because all four of those guys seemed like they probably did spend a lot of time together, plus most of it was just Smith appropriating stories from his own life. By Clerks 2 it felt like the guys hadn't seen each other in years, Clerks 3 will probably somehow be ever worse
― frogbs, Thursday, 7 July 2022 20:09 (one year ago) link
"I loved the movie then, but I know I'd probably hate it if I saw it now."
I remember an old Judge Dredd story in which there was a leak at a chemical plant that causes hundreds of deaths. And then there's a riot - not because people are angry at the leak, but because the deaths mean there are job vacancies at the chemical plant and in the grim world of Mega-City One everybody wants a job. Not so much for the money but for the sense of having something to live for. And recently there have been protests in India because the armed forces want to get rid of jobs-for-life-plus-a-pension and bring in fixed four-year terms. Quoting the BBC:
Young people in India's smaller towns and villages prepare for years to become soldiers in the armed forces as the job brings prestige, a regular income and for some, a way out of poverty. The new Agnipath scheme is aimed at people aged between 17.5 and 21 years. It says that successful candidates will join the armed services for four years, after which only 25% of them will be retained. The soldiers will go through training for six months and then will be deployed for three and a half years. During this period, they will get a monthly starting salary of 30,000 rupees ($384; £316), along with additional benefits which will go up to 40,000 rupees by the end of the four-year service.
Imagine young people rioting because they want to be in the armed forces. That's what I think of when I think of films like Clerks and Reality Bites etc from the 1990s. To a much lesser extent Clerks because the characters were aware that they were failures and were trying to cover it up, but they were self-aware. And of course Kevin Smith himself tried to be a success. He tried to steer his own path. I can admire that. It's just that his films attracted a certain kind of person who didn't get the characters' self-awareness.
It's the same with On the Road. They all feel like period pieces from a time when everybody dreamed of working in a record store forever.
― Ashley Pomeroy, Thursday, 7 July 2022 20:58 (one year ago) link