worst Kevin Smith movie

Jay and Silent Bob saved by the parts with Suzanne the Orangutan imo

wtf is "cop out"

i think what makes chasing amy so bad is the profound level of pretense it has abt saying something *true* about *lyfe*

and that joey lauren adams is really gd irritating

Cop Out is a Bruce Willis/Tracy Morgan buddy cop movie released last year

yeah also all the dramatic shouty scenes about what a slut joey lauren adams is and the totally overwrought let's have a threesome then maybe i can accept what a dirty whore you are scene

that movie is gross

so gross

Cop Out is a Bruce Willis/Tracy Morgan buddy cop movie released last year

seem to recall that the working title for this was Just a Couple of Dicks or something similiar

yah chasing amy is bad but i think dogma is just as bad in smith apparently thinking he has something new and interesting and insightful to say about religion

Haven't seen Cop Out yet, so I'm going to have to go with Zach and Miri. Pretty awful stuff. Clerks II had moments. Jersey Girl was redeemed by some genuine moments of sweetness (the same stuff that saved Chasing Amy imho) and Carlin. Mallrats will forever be my favorite.

guys what if god is ... a woman?

Dogma is pretty ridiculous but i think it's up there w/ Mallrats as his funniest movie anyway

mallrats def the one i can still watch without feeling weird about having loved it 10 yrs ago

prince loves dogma, dunno if that changes anything for anyone

he has something new and interesting and insightful to say about religion

fwiw, this really isn't the impression he gave off in interviews about the film, it was more "I'm trying to point these out to my core audience who probably couldn't be bothered to care about the inconsistencies wrt to religion" than "this is NEW and INSIGHTFUL".

Max otm re Mallrats. I still think it's p good.

i only saw dogma the one time...maybe i was too distracted by being irritated by its pretensions to theological significance but i didn't think it was that funny. matt damon is kind of funny, i guess.

the whole thing about ass-to-mouth in clerks 2 was probably the moment where i was like "jesus f-ing christ what is wrong with this dude" and then all of a sudden every other movie he made seemed similarly gross

except mallrats and to some extent clerks

guys what if god is ... a woman?

or a stranger on a bus

i love mallrats; you just have to fast forward all the jason london/claire forlani scenes. jason lee and shannen doherty are a++

http://wondermark.com/c/2008-06-10-415night.gif

thread needs shakey mo

for me it's like
guilty pleasure movie, will lol when it's on tv: Mallrats, Dogma, J&S Strike Back
thought were decent but don't need to see again: Clerks, Jersey Girl, Cop Out
wrong on so many levels: Clerks II, Zack & Miri, Chasing Amy

what 90s movies would one describe as being similar to kevin smith's. im trying to think of comparable stuff

i love mallrats; you just have to fast forward all the jason london/claire forlani scenes. jason lee and shannen doherty are a++

tempted to agree w this, but Claire Forlani is so g-d hot in this movie

she is like andie mcdowell-level wtf is wrong with you why can't you talk/act like a human being annoying to me

she is v pretty i guess

Dogma was funny as hell but hampered by obvious jokes and eye-rolly dramatic moments. Pace suffers heavily in the middle, and there's also way too many characters but that's synonymous with Smith.

But still funny if not exhausting

shes british, is the thing

xp[

Its weird, I've found her "pretty" but not much more in everything else, but in Mallrats she is like all-time ws. Must be the glasses.

totally in love with her in that 3 hour film where she and Brad Pitt had well-lit sex.

imdb tells me that claire forlani starred opposite toby keith in the 2008 film beer for my horses

I saw Clerks II in a theater and remember laughing a fair amount. Would I watch it again? Probably not.

Zack and MIri is so tone-deaf and inept. What's killed Smith is his total incompetence as a director, so there's nothing there to salvage his excesses as a writer. Like, his movies are just so poorly blocked, shot, lit, edited, etc. that it just destroys any timing that might have helped such otherwise DOA gags as, say, Z&M's porn star taking a huge shit on that guy's head. I don't know if that ever would have been funny, but man, it couldn't be any worse.

He's a great talker, though, which is why I'd take any of his stand-up DVDs over any of his movies.

clerks 2

^^^ otm

Which is why his recent comments about giving up movie-making (after his upcoming horror and hockey flicks) and sticking with "talking" (podcasts and live appearances) don't bother me at all.

(xpost)

I have seen all but Cop Out, and it really has to be Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

this. and i'm afraid Cop Out is going to be worse... ;_;

don't know why people expect the worst of Cop Out, if anyone's Hollywood paycheck movie is likely to be no worse than his passion projects it's Kevin Smith

What's killed Smith is his total incompetence as a director

Yeah, you'd think he'd have picked up the basics by now.

xp fair point and i sort of liked Jersey Girl, but you could also argue that his movies have steadily declined in quality since the beginning. (that seems like a feat in itself, how could every movie possible be worse than the one preceding)

Well I think part of the problem is that his lack of directorial knowledge and skill really served his first couple of movies, but the more ambitious he became the more the lack of "basics" has come back to bite him in the ass. I'm still pretty anxious to see Red State though, maybe a complete change of pace and tone will inject his work with something exciting.

yeah i'm not holding my breath but on the surface Red State seems like a somewhat promising change of direction for him

Yeah, I'm 80% sure it will be terrible, but there's something about how passionately he is tackling this project that has given me a little more hope. Same goes for Hit Somebody, the hockey flick that is coming up after that.

My computer downloaded the latest episode of Marc Marron's WTF today but when I saw that it was 95 minutes of Kevin Smith talking about weed, I couldn't face listening to it and pressed stop.

Yeah, his weed obsession of late is the least interesting thing to hear him talk about, but I typically enjoy 95 minutes of him spouting off about random bullshit. His Harry Potter recapts with Mosier are great listening.

yeah cop out was really bad, though not in the "kevin smith" way that say clerks 2 is. in fact i didnt recall that kevin smith directed cop out until his name came up at the end

this thread is basically TS: bowl of vomit vs. pile of shit

imdb tells me that claire forlani starred opposite toby keith in the 2008 film beer for my horses

― horseshoe, Monday, January 17, 2011 2:59 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

haha this post is killing me for some reason

this thread is basically TS: bowl of vomit vs. pile of shit

I'm so glad you bothered to click on this thread.

Kinda envy these characters for living in a world where Kevin Smith never made a movie.

Chasing Amy should have walked this.

Dogma was funny and fought above it's weight class. CA was offensive

god I just remembered that the central plot of Clerks 2 revolved around whether or not Dante would move away to live a "normal" life with his girlfriend or stay with Randall and his new flame played by Rosario Dawson. while he agonizes over this it becomes revealed that Dawson's character is pregnant, essentially making the decision for him. and her pregnancy was revealed in the trailer!! it's just sloppy, practically Tommy Wiseauian filmmaking

I recall liking "Clerks" when it came out, and Smith the raconteur can be pretty great. But Smith the filmmaker is terrible, and, begging disbelief, Smith the writer is even worse.

all of the characters in kevin smith movies are kevin smith

Kinda envy these characters for living in a world where Kevin Smith never made a movie.

idk I kinda picture Randall constantly making references to the titles of other Kevin Smith movies then looking straight at the camera

Dogma was pretty funny to me at the time, though I remember it also has a lot of awful moralizing speeches. A several people on reddit were saying they don't have high hopes for Clerks 3 because all his movies after Clerks 2 have been bad. It's like, first, I can't believe Clerks 2 isn't lumped in with those bad movies, and second, it's hard to imagine what the worse movies than it would be like

"I like your jersey, girl" *stares at camera for 10 seconds*

"oh, we're just Clerks? well you're Clerks 2!!"

Out of all these titles the only one I've seen was Dogma, at home on a DVD checked out from my public library, so I didn't pay a cent to see it. I appreciated it in the same spirit that I'd appreciate a goofy novelty song on the radio, like hearing an Alvin & the Chipmunks Christmas Album. Or to draw a closer analogy, like a movie that got made just so a bunch of Hollywood chums could get together and have a good time making a movie on someone else's dime, like Smokey and the Bandit II. On that level, it was fitfully amusing and hard to get angry about. I even liked the stupid Catholic theology plot.

i saw dogma in the theater when it was released with my cool fun cousins and we had a decent time. we may have had a couple of beers. haven’t seen it since, but I fully believe it’s probably p bad.

I really only liked Clerks and parts of Mallrats. def a time/ place thing for me.

I seem to remember thinking Dogma was good at the time, but now all I remember is a guy in the cinema proposing to his gf near the start of the film, her turning him down, and him seething next to her for the next half hour before shouting something at her and walking out of the auditorium.

Chasing Amy is downright offensive. Mallrats... I really wanted it to be funny. But in retrospect it's just a bunch of weak anal sex jokes, and most of the actors in it can't act (that London kid... jeez.)

lol proposing in a theater as a Kevin Smith movie begins wtf

At the Camden Town Odeon, too.

"Will you snoochie my boochies til death do us part?"

get this what if jay and silent bob smoked a really big blunt

always forget that mallrats guy is the twin brother of the dazed & confused guy and not just the same guy

and by “always” I mean the 3 times it’s crossed my mind since 1996

Has anyone, even his fans/defenders, seen those “Hockey Hosers” movies with his daughter?

Huge LOL at the moment when, after the entire trailer has been the same 4 actors actors reenacting the same old scenes from the same old Kevin Smith movies, the text appears: "WELCOME TO A NEW ERA"

"Yes, I will feed the dog, Ma!" [Gives camera a "see what I did there" look]

always forget that mallrats guy is the twin brother of the dazed & confused guy and not just the same guy

today I learned

Or to draw a closer analogy, like a movie that got made just so a bunch of Hollywood chums could get together and have a good time making a movie on someone else's dime, like Smokey and the Bandit II. On that level, it was fitfully amusing and hard to get angry about.

yeah this is what it kinda boils down to for me, Kevin Smith's early movies worked because they seemed like a lot of fun to make. they're like those shitty SNL sketches that eventually devolve into the actors just trying to make each other laugh. Clerks 1 worked because all four of those guys seemed like they probably did spend a lot of time together, plus most of it was just Smith appropriating stories from his own life. By Clerks 2 it felt like the guys hadn't seen each other in years, Clerks 3 will probably somehow be ever worse

"I loved the movie then, but I know I'd probably hate it if I saw it now."

I remember an old Judge Dredd story in which there was a leak at a chemical plant that causes hundreds of deaths. And then there's a riot - not because people are angry at the leak, but because the deaths mean there are job vacancies at the chemical plant and in the grim world of Mega-City One everybody wants a job. Not so much for the money but for the sense of having something to live for. And recently there have been protests in India because the armed forces want to get rid of jobs-for-life-plus-a-pension and bring in fixed four-year terms. Quoting the BBC:

Young people in India's smaller towns and villages prepare for years to become soldiers in the armed forces as the job brings prestige, a regular income and for some, a way out of poverty. The new Agnipath scheme is aimed at people aged between 17.5 and 21 years. It says that successful candidates will join the armed services for four years, after which only 25% of them will be retained. The soldiers will go through training for six months and then will be deployed for three and a half years. During this period, they will get a monthly starting salary of 30,000 rupees ($384; £316), along with additional benefits which will go up to 40,000 rupees by the end of the four-year service.

Imagine young people rioting because they want to be in the armed forces. That's what I think of when I think of films like Clerks and Reality Bites etc from the 1990s. To a much lesser extent Clerks because the characters were aware that they were failures and were trying to cover it up, but they were self-aware. And of course Kevin Smith himself tried to be a success. He tried to steer his own path. I can admire that. It's just that his films attracted a certain kind of person who didn't get the characters' self-awareness.

It's the same with On the Road. They all feel like period pieces from a time when everybody dreamed of working in a record store forever.