BEST THREAD ON ILX: Part TWO - The Poll

white couch ftw, though SNOOZE BUTTON SMASH is close. I'm fond of Unintentionally Homoerotic, too...

Robots is SO disturbing.

i was never into couch thread

Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email should win

BAN LOUIS JAGGER will win

Robots in dis guys is the thread that made Grady

AND ITS THE THREAD THATLL BREAK HIM

but "so not gonna happen" is the thread that made me stick around ILX in the first place.

i fear that the greatness of "so not gonna happen" is buried too deep within its 1000+ posts now for it to get the 1st place ranking here it deserves.

with most of the other threads that stand a chance of winning, you get to the payoff relatively early. but with "so not gonna happen" you don't get there till about 400 posts in. sure, the combination of the thread title and the picture in the first post lets you know something good is in store, but the it could have died within a few dozen posts. but the thing is, it didn't. something else happened.

******spoilers******

first the dialogue moves from "lol look at that guy" to examining everything within the frame to try and construct some context. then at about 80 posts in, the discussion moves to trying to figure out who the subjects are, and even trying to track them down, which is ridiculous but everyone gets wrapped up in it. the dmusic.com page belonging to roxy's friend is scoured for clues. and since roxy disappears shortly into the thread's life, it becomes a major red herring that ratchets up the tension.

then once roxy comes back and sees what the thread has turned into, she contacts her friend who sends her the link to the picture's original url on diehliniraq.com. its when she first links to one of many new photos from that night (over 400 posts in) that the thread begins to surpass all others. imo.

through diehliniraq.com's contents, (and jaymc.xls) we learn a few more details about that night - something that seemed an unobtainable goal a few hours prior. we learn that the bedroom isn't wayne's, but a friend of his - Ryan Diehl. we learn that the gathering wasn't just any old party, it was a goodbye party for ryan who- having enlisted just after high school- is getting deployed to iraq. we learn that the two girls on the bed are named megan and laurel and that they aren't really friends with the rest of the kids at the party. Megan (center) worked with ryan and may have had a fling with him (and there maaaay have been a three-way between ryan and both girls once). Laurel also probably made out with one of Ryan's friend's that night. We learn that the dude's last name is probably Loftus and confirm that he's definitely the oddball of this group of friends, yet is still part of their crew. but after 1000+ posts, we don't know much more than that.

You can look at ryan's myspace, as well as a few other kids who were there that night... but as for our heroes, they remain mostly a mystery. diehliniraq.com 404'd a few months ago, and, sadly, some of the thread's greatness may have left then too*. but the original photo remains.

gear's roomate moved out. matos will only be able to remember so many stories about his mother's ex. oink invites is locked until googlers can post without registering. uppers nsfw cant get much better than it already is. all the beef threads/ flame wars have burried the hatchet. dave matthews fans will always be dave matthews fans.

but "so not gonna happen"?

classic title/first post. image thread. a small little slice of america during wartime. a "look what i found on the internet" thread with a completely unexpected payoff. a realtime, multi-xpost clusterfuck. a "what if" that became a "what did." but, most of all, a thread that remains open-ended. still asking for its riddles to be solved. and Loftus is still sitting on that bed. playing that role we've all played at one time or another. so perfectly capturing the feeling roxy's friend was GISing for when he first stumbled upon awkward.jpg.

* archive.org did grab one picture from that night- the first roxy posted.

Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email should win

BAN LOUIS JAGGER will win

-- max, Thursday, September 13, 2007 3:34 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

^^^^^

thanks grady

Yeah that Jam one would be my 2nd choice.

-- pfunkboy, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 23:02 (Yesterday) Link

COSIGN

i was never into couch thread

-- chaki, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 23:21 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

ALSO THIS

Yeah, nicely done gr80.

u_u

:):)

you can thank me with your votes.

I'm sure I just posted to this and now its disappeared. Weird.
Anyway I repeat BAN LJ should not win as ILX is not just about him. Please don't fall into his trap.

^I had a post disappearance in ere too. MYSTERIOUSS.

no one will vote for that shit!

just realized no hen fap threads made it

; _____ ;

tears of joy

like a band that broke up or musician who died before they could go bad, so went Aja/ Dante.

you missed the MIA thread, LJ. It was definitely nominated twice.

that's my fave because of the folks who show up on it from different sides of the Sri Lankan conflict with their own different takes on things.

In the absence of that thread, Photoshop Ruined Album Covers clearly rules.

I was torn between wasp vibrator and Missionary Position, the Missionary wins because a) it's longer and has more lols, and b) it has that amazing sweets derailment in the middle leading to:

Doggy style is not the default for everyone, Kate. First time I tried it with my partner, she mentioned that it didn't work with her--note that's not "for" but "with"--she is angled/padded such that it's a strain on her to tilt the right way, and she doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as, for instance, missionary, of which she is a big fan.
-- green orange, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 12:44 (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GET THIS FILTH OFF MY SWEETS THREAD!!!
-- Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 12:46 (4 years ago)

Which makes me laugh every time I read it.

The best thread was probably the one about that weird ginormous hotel in Pyongyang that disappeared mysteriously (the thread, not the hotel). The Mordor photoshop job was inspired. RIP weird Pyongyang hotel thread.

I fear there are too many options in this poll so the votes will be spread too thinly, but the overrated couch/trucker hat thread will win. Either that or BAN LOUIS JAGGER.

Xpost Nickalicious OTM.

Actually how on earth did I miss Ralf Hutter's Blind Date? That's fantastic!

Also:

Louis Jagger threads in this poll = 3
Black Metal Dudes threads in this poll = 0

^^^^^^^travesty.

if nothing else can get you to vote for "so not gonna happen," look for gabbneb's single contribution to it.

Also the Apologies For Boorish ILXing thread was definitely seconded, although I think that's kind of a 'had to be there at the time' kind of thread. I feel similar about So Not Gonna Happen which I regrettably missed at the time and never really bothered to read in its entirety. Had I been posting to it at the time I would've been all 'Best Thread Ever!' clearly.

ach. nobody seconded my "sing house of jealous lovers" thread.

Only one thread I created made this final.

When ILE/Moderator board mods get shook, simply for the maracas.jpg punchline.

although I think that's kind of a 'had to be there at the time' kind of thread.

i think that's true of a lot of them. this thread and the noms one depresses me. it's a bit like doing 'best conversation ever' or something. i don't really read old threads, except for stuff to zing people with.

Please don't fall into his trap

stfu it was nominated and then seconded, once again you've referred to my non-existent 'trap', plz to stop being a cunt. fyi i don't want it to win either.

Yeah, in reading or re-reading many of these, quite a few are "you had to be there at the time" threads...but I don't think that such is the case with "So Not Gonna Happpen".

I'm sure that there are other threads that are funnier, or crazy-flamier, or what have you, but I truly believe, for reasons stated by Grady above, as well as others, that it was ILX's finest moment. Magic.

some things are funnier for being funny at the time.

Objectively the best of these lot = probably the Danish cartoons one. That's the thread, alongside the Michael Jackson and Kraftwerk script ones, that I'd show to someone who's never read ILX to show what it can be capable of.

Oh, and the Pet Shop Boys thread as well. I miss awesome long thinkpiece type posts.

plz to stop being a cunt.

I'll let you know when I'm being a cunt.

Who the heck proposed my Flirtations thread? There's not much to get excited about there really.

As an example of the what old ilx may have been all about this thread The Miracle of the Smiths is pretty great. it's the finest example i've seen of the gentleman's pop music club vibe.

When ILE/Moderator board mods get shook, simply for the maracas.jpg punchline.

-- acrobat, Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:59 (Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:59)

OTMFM!!! Stevem bringing the eternal roffles!

ILX isn't about any one person. I'm only saying...

xxxpost - and all the times I've defended you, too...

Objectively the best of these lot = probably the Danish cartoons one. That's the thread, alongside the Michael Jackson and Kraftwerk script ones, that I'd show to someone who's never read ILX to show what it can be capable of.

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say about "So Not Gonna Happen". I think one could conceivably use it as part of missionary outreach efforts to seduce people over to ILX.

Oh, yes, I was reading that Smiths thread the other evening. That is indeed great stuff.

Yeah that Smiths one was good. Pinefox, Carmody and Hopkins together on one thread - a golden age.

That marissa one is painful. I'd denominate it but it's too late I guess.

My life's ambition is to find the thread where CJ gave Mark Sinker advice about exactly how high off the floor his new bed should be, so that he could comfortably read in bed, or something...

I only know that this thread exists because Mark mentioned it in the pub a few weeks ago.

although I think that's kind of a 'had to be there at the time' kind of thread.

Every. Thread. Ever.

Objectively the best of these lot = probably... (etc)

Do you know what the word "objective" means?

The thing is you read that thread and it seems almost unbelievable that these people are just posting on a messageboard. Single posts there have more content than some books that have been written about the band. I remember the first time I came across that thread having to look up so many different names that were just being thrown about. You can see my valiant attempt to revive the thread back in 2005 as well, when you read through a thread like that it's like; "wow i think i arrived at he party a bit late". well, for me it is.

xp

What happened to my David James Fanclub nomination?

I read Dom's post in the voice of Chaki.

those who heard the stylus podcast ought to know what dom sounds liek

-- Just got offed, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 14:31 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/images/articles/Untitled.mp3

wow that site is still up?

I just listened and was half-expecting the Bluetones track to be cut off partway through by the sound of a stylus scraping against the vinyl, and then Dom to come in saying, "LAWL, Britpop!"

lol jaymc i sound like my big fat obnoxious fiance.

Dom is more Midlands than I envisaged

people who don't sound like chaki

LOL @ podcast's initial hesitant steps into now well-oiled NFL mocking. "Quarterbacker" indeed...although points for "Chip Linebacker".

i have to admit, if i have any one thing to be proud of amongst many embarrassing moments in lix-istory, it's introducing marrisa's bela fleck stalking to discussion

not sure i can remember which identity i did it under though

there are some epic old-ILX (2001–3?) threads that seem to have been left off of this poll.

Does NED RAGGETT smoke weed?

^^ underrated

there are some epic old-ILX (2001–3?) threads that seem to have been left off of this poll.

History is written by the victors

arshavin thread prob pwns these now

Well, we could repoll it - this time more as a top 100 kinda deal. Every thread that makes it is posted in its entirety into the poll thread. What do you say?

ha

One nomination for Can we be shown weirdos + Mike Love?

timely revive of society is in the gutter- only ILX thread i have ever c&p'd to word to read later.

society is in the gutter is sensational

trying to work out which other threads since this one might qualify - certainly arshavin.jpg and evil guide dog but what else

The President Shot in Texas thread was gold. Can't remember the name of it though.

oh, and the one about moving into a redneck neighbourhood

it was President JFK Injured In Dallas? iirc

YES KKVGZ'S REDNECK THREAD - all-timer that one

President Kennedy Injured in Dallas?

redneck thread is best thread hijack ever i think.

That guerrilla .gif in the Ban l0u1s jagg3r thread makes a powerful case for BBcode. img src="http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/862/louisjaggerqf0.gif"; style="position: fixed; top: 30px; right: 5%" indeed.

blimey, we had polls on ilx 2 years ago ?

feels like yesterday, ah

3 years ago next month!

poll obviously should have been a tournament

all the zingy threads would be voted down unfairly, nah we don't need to add competitive layers to this already charged situation imo