Game Dev Story: how to succeed on the App Store without even bothering to resize the graphics

OT (only on iphone these days dawgggggg

i grabbed Driver yesterday, that was legendary on my ps1, along with GT1 and HotShots1)

if u have any doubt make an animal action game

i dunno, i'm '9 years in' and i've had like 8 hall-of-famers, this game is kinda easy no?

how do i get a hardware engineer?

you fuckers are making me want an ipad now

as soon as you get the first hall of fame game you pretty much have to try to fuck up. hardware engineer gets unlocked as when you have one employee who's levelled up in all the regular jobs... which i think is dumb. I guess being able to compose a top-notch soundtrack for a golf game on Game Gear wouldn't hurt as a console developer but it's hard to see it being necessary

wait, you have to level them up, then switch them to the other jobs, then level them up again?

i just keep firing dudes and hiring fancy new ones

that sounds like classic shortsighted management strategy! a common mistake companies make who get early success and a cash infusion!

how exactly do you market a poncho game is the real mystery of this game

Poncho lovers go for Action RPGs. Herpes Enclave worked on this a little, but decided not to pursue the Poncho Action RPG past a single research title: Poncho only has a 'C' popularity rating, HE is built on the Pubic Stroker cutie simulator franchise and Violated Fox virtual pet online sims.

Thx ilx. hate this game. 4am last night. But I think yeah I'll be bored of it by this evening.

wait, you have to level them up, then switch them to the other jobs, then level them up again?

Yeah, but imo it's prob best to do it with the fancy sorts you get later – they're often a little closer to the goal thanks to filled out job histories, and they'll end up with mad stats as they get levelled. (Though Mr X, who doesn't look that impressive, is apparently a common choice for Hardware Engineer training.)

I don't really get it, though. If I've got say a L.5 designer with 246 graphic skill, and a L.3 hacker with 260 (+ he/she used to be a L.5 designer), is it better to set the designer or the hacker on the post-alpha character design, ie do job titles matter or is it just stats?

because you see, mark, it's easy to throw money at your staff pool and stack your workforce with a lot of young hotshots, but where does that get you? You've got a staff of young hotshots all earning top dollar with no dynamic between them, on salary so you're paying them for their off days rather than just contracting them in--all of whom are used to calling the shots creatively because they're accustomed to the deference that comes with being the best in their field! how do you expect to manage those people effectively as a team?

Now if you take a loyal workforce and train them up to that level, you get to where you want to be professionally a little slower, but when you get there you know how to work together!

i predict one shiny overdesigned gears of war type of game that wows everyone for a second and then nothing but a big fizzle and a bunch of overpaid whizkids draining your working capital dry.

not playing this but u guys are killing me w/the lols on this thread so thx

ok guys, i haven't looked at this since i played through it once a few weeks ago but you're making me want to play again and livepost all of our companies updates

i just booted it up and founded Bloody Stool Studios and then immediately upon zeroeing in and aiming for one of the tiny little buttons to start hiring it jut seemed like a huge drag

livepost all of our companies updates

ILXors who don't own iPhones could just post scatological studio/game names?

Just what we needed on ilx, a place you can go to spout vulgar nonsequiturs!

Hot Carl XTreme

That sounds fun! What popped into my mind was a 16-bit bobsled kart racer

I thought more like a crappy mid 90's snowboarding sim.

Did a sequel to my poncho action RPG after all. Skiddy Wool2 won game of the year! Architecture online sim Built of Shit was a succes d'estime, now back to $$$ cutie simulation w/ Penis Liaison2.

Skiddy Wool sounds more like a longjohns simulator

Orrite your tips have convinced me to try again. Started from scratch with Perineophiliac Studios.

Nope. Up Hilary Duff didn't make enough money, HI DERE was pulled off the market before I was ready to stop selling it, and now I have an Exodus licence and no cash to develop a game for it. Baleeted.

Now that's more like it!!

Top Sellers:
Greek Ladyboy 4: 24.48 million units
Cow Farts 2: 16 million
Artery Ninja 2: 16 million
Booty Quest: 14.7 million
Flyin' Dragboy 2: 13.7 million

Codeo Labs' "Coccyx" is a revolutionary 64-bit BD-ROM.

Codeo has 27 hall of fame games and a 18% market share. 180 million units total

Monkey Island creator Ron Gilbert talks about Game Dev Story

"And of course, it's unrealistic to think that a company would release a game without fixing all of its bugs," Gilbert added. "That would never happen."
har har Doesn't FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS deserve its own thread? har

this game plateaus so hard. once you do okay once, it's easy peasy street and there's nothing new for you to do or new challenges to face. kinda lame.

I am definitely finished with it but I still enjoyed the journey.

Yeah, for a game that cost about as much as a pint of beer, I got my money's worth.

me too, i just wish it went somewhere and got different u know?

otm about the plateuing, the only replay valu I got was I realised I'd been doing it rong a lot the first go-round so when I hit 20 years I started again (you bring over your levelled up genres) and this time round it is a lot easier.

Still, it idles time at the train station and whatnot.

dont miss your train!!

I hear rumours about NEW SECRET CONSOLES if you play past 50 or 75 years or something, is it true?

If nothing else, I am looking for whatever next Kairosoft put out. Also, I really dig the 16-bit pixel art design.

Dunno about secret consoles, but you get extra console design options if you have 4 Hardware Engs in your team (and another with 6). And there are a few hidden characters - Kairobot joined Herpes Enclave for the home stretch (still had to go through his agent & pay him to appear at GameDex, swiz).

everyone otm about plateauing - there's no risk after one or two hall-of-famers. There's stuff to do - 40/40, a 60+ million seller, levelling characters, multiple game of the years - but you likely won't go out of business.

yasssssssss
http://www.appbrain.com/app/game-dev-story/net.kairosoft.android.gamedev3en

lol android

:( truth bomb

just don't think the public were ready for sexy golf 2

cunt puncher studios resumé to date

quim story 35,335
quim-to-mania 55,724
finger fantasy 118,945
killathon 95,240 (innovative "marathon"/shooter crossover again not sure the public were ready for my vision)
sexy golf 69,308
sexy golf 2 50,998

I'm always excited when a new quim game is released.

if you're as entertained as I am by giving profane, offensive, obscene or ridiculous titles to mundane objects, it's a godsend. this is basically a little bit of game holding a mechanic together which allows me to make myself laugh with my tourettey jokes- without alienating my loved ones by telling them something objectively unfunny that i can't get out from laughter

Yes - this thing functions as like a surrogate girlfriend to me, in that it provides a means for me to make unacceptably shit, offensive jokes without needing to have a "woman" there that I'm all "in a comfort zone" with to the point where I have "no filter".

I paid $800k getting a renowned children's artist in to devise an art style for my romance simulator. I then titled it "Shrub Rapist". It shifted 4.9 million units. This game is Japanese, right?

The 14 character limit is kind of a drag though, if there was a bigger limit you could get cracking mileage out of making up lots of pretentious modern game names with colons in them, instead of not even being able to fit the "2" in when you make a cash-in straight-to-DS shovelware sequel.

Yes - this thing functions as like a surrogate girlfriend to me, in that it provides a means for me to make unacceptably shit, offensive jokes without needing to have a "woman" there that I'm all "in a comfort zone" with to the point where I have "no filter".

I don't mean to imply here that I've been playing this for longer than a day, or that I will still be playing it on Wednesday.

of sexy golf 2, the critics remarked "cash-in straight-to-DS shovelware sequel"

I wonder if some generous spirited Brit tinkerer could pull this apart and edit it so that the Famitsu Death Panel is replaced by injoke spouting 80s Spectrum/C64 magazine subhumans? It'd be kind of apposite; I kept getting grandiose visions of the games I was spending thousands on, then realising that I was putting them out on the game's euphemised equivalent of the c.1987 Brick Gameboy.

While they were at it, they could also add "impenetrable text-based football management", "shit naked poker" and "politically incorrect Native American rape simulator" to the available genres.

Just thinking aloud. In text.

maybe save the rape jokes for the game?

Sorry, that was an oblique, disapproving reference to Custer's Revenge. It was a different time.

Custer's Revenge is really something.

sexy golf 3 feat. lake balls

New studio Thrush Cream just doesn't have the same traction as Herpes Enclave. Fantasy MMORPG World of Sperm (& sequel World of Sper2) aren't even hitting 20 mil, the Bumming Puppy animal life games are our best sellers, but still only so-so (tho' one got game of the year). Some of it's bad luck with power cuts, but I think Fran Bloom has a lot to answer for. Totally unreliable. 'I worked really hard on that'. No you didn't. You're capable of 100+ scenario work; regular mid-30s hackwork is just lazy. Thank god for Mr X. He's a trooper.

Maybe I'll just become a mini-skirt trivia shovelware studio.