Chuck Norris would fucking anyone (FACTS)

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Are those pick-up lines for your daughter's 18 yr old friend?

Nathalie is in Da Base II Dark (stevie nixed), Thursday, 17 November 2005 09:14 (eighteen years ago) link

http://images.juno.co.uk/full/CS88654-01A-BIG.jpg

Yawn (Wintermute), Thursday, 17 November 2005 17:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Celolbrity facts

bato (bato), Thursday, 17 November 2005 17:23 (eighteen years ago) link

where did this come from? it's actually pretty funny.

bsj30 (bsj30), Thursday, 17 November 2005 19:41 (eighteen years ago) link

169% ORIGINAL.

Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Friday, 18 November 2005 02:24 (eighteen years ago) link

chuck norris is a free service for the American Chemical Society ACS) is a free service you can t Stop the WAR in Iraq, since the last Samurai is a free service you can help you find the Right to Life Xbox to the Internet Medieval Sourcebook The Complete works OF William Shakespeare, s History Month, is a server- is a free service for the American Lung Association of America is in the world s smallest car

dudes p.r. (dr g), Friday, 18 November 2005 02:36 (eighteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
that shit is funny

Theodore Almond Sands, Tuesday, 13 December 2005 18:36 (eighteen years ago) link

To Bill Brasky!

Df'nM (OutDatWay), Tuesday, 13 December 2005 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...
http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx?type=1

Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 12 January 2006 18:55 (eighteen years ago) link

that's a pretty sober and decent response, in fact.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 12 January 2006 19:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Did anybody else hear Ken's show on WFMU yesterday? He had a triple layer of S&M sound effects, cheesy lounge music, and a recording of someone reading Chuck Norris facts (played at half-speed). I was totally in tears. Also, there was at least one new one: "Behind Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin — only another fist."

truck-patch pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 12 January 2006 19:14 (eighteen years ago) link

"Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down."

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 12 January 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

"Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing."

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 12 January 2006 20:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I think it's pretty great that he has a sense of humor about it.

Laura H. (laurah), Thursday, 12 January 2006 20:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I was about to say, points for that.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 January 2006 20:16 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...
i am so out of it -- i only just now found out about this "chuck norris facts" thing ... and that only b/c i happened by chance to see one of his "total gym fitness" infomercials.

i mean, how MUCH plastic surgery has this guy had? dude is like 60 or so, and he looks like he's about to give that wildenstein lady a run for the money!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/83/TotalGym.jpg

http://aces.tabulas.com/tarebear/thumbs/grand-master-chuck-norris-bn.jpg

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 3 April 2006 14:52 (eighteen years ago) link

poetry in macho

Pete Scholtes (Pete Scholtes), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:01 (eighteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
bullshit, chuck norris sucks ass when up against Bruce Lee. notice i don't capitalize chuck, hes not worth it. Bruce Lee fought and killed chuck in "The Way of the Dragon." Bruce Lee taught chuck. Bruce Lee didn't die because his brain swelled, he died to go fight a worthy opponent, satan. Bruce kills satan everyday, and then again every night.

Jeet Kune Do, Thursday, 27 April 2006 02:31 (eighteen years ago) link

word.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 27 April 2006 02:49 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=59697

Guns, God and gays
Posted: March 23, 2008
1:00 am Eastern

© 2008

Reading the news this past week, one could easily conclude we have lost our minds as well as any remaining connection with our Founding Fathers. Three headlines thrice prove we are heading down three wrong roads.

Guns in the news

First, there was the Supreme Court's wrangling with the Second Amendment. Should it allow private citizens or only public servants ("state militias") "to keep and bear arms"?

Is someone joking? Could 27 words be any clearer?! "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

Just because Washington, D.C., has a pistol problem (with its ban on handguns), the court shouldn't penalize the rest of the country by resetting national precedents based upon biased constitutional interpretation. The Bill of Rights either encompasses the privileges of every citizen in every amendment or none at all. Back then, even other contemporaneous state gun laws aligned with that federal measure.

As Chief Justice John Roberts asked, "If it is limited to state militias, why would they say 'the right of the people'? What is reasonable about a total ban on possession?"

Thomas Jefferson concluded, "A Bill of Rights is what the people are entitled to against every government, and what no just government should refuse, or rest on inference." That is why Jefferson could encourage his nephew Peter Carr, "Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks."

God in the news

I was also saddened this past week to read about the comic in the University of Virginia's pre-Holy Week, school-sanctioned student paper. The Cavalier Daily published a cartoon that pictured a naked man smoking a cigarette in bed with a woman in her underwear who asks, "Come on God, be honest – did you really get a vasectomy? I can't let Joseph find out about this." The man, who is now revealed as God, replies, "Well, Mary, you're f---ed."

How abhorring it is when the freedom of the press is abused to demean the biblical God and the most sacred couple in Christendom, especially right before Easter. If the cartoon depicted Allah or Muhammad, there undoubtedly would have been a national decry of bigotry. Yet it seems in vogue to disgrace Christianity, and so it was brushed under the rug of contempt and barely highlighted by any news agency.

One can only imagine how the university's eminent founder, Thomas Jefferson, might have regarded such a shameful posting. These types of religious polarities are the exact opposite of what he hoped for that academic institution. He actually expected a respectful unity in diversity on the campus: "And by bringing the sects together, and mixing them with the mass of other students, we shall soften their asperities, liberalize and neutralize their prejudices, and make the general religion a religion of peace, reason, and morality" (To Thomas Cooper, 1822. ME 15:405).

Speak of God and prejudices in the news, I might as well throw in my two cents about Obama's relation to his pastor. My primary qualm is this: If Obama's patriotism doesn't prompt him to challenge his own pastor's extremist views for more than 20 years, how can we trust his judgment to confront extremists' views as president for the next four years? One's church and friends reflect one's values and beliefs. We simply can't trust that lack of judgment and inability to confront in the highest office of the land. Since the Revolutionary War and the Barbary Conflict, U.S. presidents have fought to counter anti-American sentiment. We need a president who can oppose unpatriotic radicals, not shrink back in the face of their adversity.

(Column continues below)

Gays in the news

Lastly, I was appalled when I read the American Family Association report that on Friday, April 25, several thousand schools across the nation will be observing a "Day of Silence," or DOS, which is a nationwide push to promote the homosexual lifestyle in public schools. (DOS is sponsored by an activist homosexual group – the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.)

Is encouraging or teaching about homosexuality what our forefathers expected for the public education they founded? Even the most liberal among them opposed it. For example, Thomas Jefferson drafted a bill concerning the criminal laws of Virginia, in which he proposed that the penalty for sexual deviance should be unique corporal punishment. Jefferson's views were indeed representative of early America.

"Whosoever shall be guilty of rape, polygamy, or sodomy with man or woman shall be punished, if a man, by castration, if a woman, by cutting thro' the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch diameter at the least" (Bill 64, 1779). Can you imagine a statesman proposing such a law today?

and what, Sunday, 6 April 2008 20:22 (sixteen years ago) link

man if only someone had the courage!!

omar little, Sunday, 6 April 2008 20:25 (sixteen years ago) link

(2 years ago)

Bodrick III, Sunday, 6 April 2008 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

the karate guy who made all those awful movies is an asshole

fuck

J0hn D., Sunday, 6 April 2008 21:03 (sixteen years ago) link

chuck norris's tongue cured my genital herpes

burt_stanton, Sunday, 6 April 2008 21:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Is someone joking? Could 27 words be any clearer?! "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

abanana, Sunday, 6 April 2008 21:52 (sixteen years ago) link

one year passes...

Happy Birthday Chuck

meisenfek, Wednesday, 10 March 2010 09:09 (fourteen years ago) link

thanks for the screen name, Walker

the most sacred couple in Christendom (J0hn D.), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 09:17 (fourteen years ago) link


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