Classic or Dud: Chuck Klosterman

I haven't heard it (G'n'R Lies)since 6 months after it came out and I became a Politically-Correct Young Person Who Reviled Hair Metal And Racist And Sexist Opinions Except Those Held By Eldridge Cleaver and sold my cassette of it. Maybe it's still pretty awesome. Anyhow, I went back to that AV Club page and found it really really spooky how much Klosterman looks like late-period (sensitive, beardo, I AM AN ACK-TOR) Robin Williams in that photo, down to the slightly blossoming nose. Must close internet now and get more wine and erase memory of anonymous, penetrating stare.

And I know how Klosterman feels about wanting to divine Axl's inscrutable motives; I have felt this about treasured artists' work on failed projects produced under intense scrutiny, and sadly I'm too drunk to remember what they were.)

I remember now. My subconscious was trying to give me a prod by providing the phrase about divining motives: REM. Their period of transition into superstardom post-Green I recall listening to them with more fascination for their self-awareness than their music, which was sometimes astonishingly good but increasingly often fell über-flat as they very transparently wrote for a larger and larger audience. W/E.

Chinese Democracy is (pretty much) the last Old Media album we'll ever contemplate in this context—it's the last album that will be marketed as a collection of autonomous-but-connected songs, the last album that will be absorbed as a static manifestation of who the band supposedly is, and the last album that will matter more as a physical object than as an Internet sound file. This is the end of that.

"(pretty much)"

Yeah, that part that m. coleman quoted was definitely the part of the review (at least of the parts I actually skimmed so far) that bugged me the most -- "last Old Media album... last album that will be marketed as a collection of autonomous-but-connected songs..." Haven't people been saying that about albums for at least the last five years now? And then another one (or another hundred) come along that disprove the theory.

(I like the review in general, though. Even though I really have no particular interest in hearing the new GnR album unless it falls into my lap.)

Dear Chuck (Klosterman): don't worry, there will be another U2 album

Klosterman kind of looks like Paul Krugman with that beard.

Did his Beatles piss take get discussed on another thread? I kinda hate this piece.
http://www.avclub.com/articles/chuck-klosterman-repeats-the-beatles,32560/

I thought it was intermittently funny and not too objectionable by Klosterman standards.

NO.

I don’t know if I’m helping or hurting anymore.

Take a guess.

Rating Rock: Klosterman versus Kant

Why stop there?

deep dark secret confession: i discovered ilx by googling "chuck klosterman"

The immediate assumption is that this is some type of sonic endurance test, and that no person could possibly enjoy the experience of seeing the most hated (yet popular) rock band of 2001 followed by the most popular (yet hated) rock band of 2012. But this is what I wanted to do: I wanted to see Creed at New York's intimate Beacon Theatre (performing their 1997 album My Own Prison in its entirety), followed by Nickelback in front of 18,000 people at Madison Square Garden.

Srs question: Nickelback is the most popular rock band of 2012?

They're still up there, but they peaked in 2006-2007.

they're up there but Coldplay outsells them handily

but do coldplay really ROCK. [future klosterman thinkpiece]

is there a reason Klosterman picked 2001 for Creed instead of 1999 or 2000, when they were even more popular? and forgive my memory, was any rock group MORE popular than Creed then? Linkin Park's the only competitor that comes to mind.

sigh, My Own Prison Creed seemed so innocent, just a bunch of monotheistic Pearl Jam fans with a dream

christ Chuck would it kill you to have an opinion on something once in a while? "Why do people hate Creed and Nickelback so much?" Is the answer really that complex that you need to write a zillion fucking words on it?

this guy sucks

it's kinda weird that he wrote this piece in 2012 and not only didn't acknowledge that nickelback + creed are probably no longer on the radar of most grantland readers (i assume?) but pretend like they're still these wildly popular, zeitgesty bands. i haven't even heard someone say that they've hated either of them in years. maybe i'm just out of touch.

well he still writes mega pieces on van halen, so

Hey Mordy, tell us what Grantland readers listen to

idk, i assume whatever bill simmons is digging?

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/48235/what’d-we-miss-at-coachella’s-second-weekend ?

Can't believe this fucking idiot thinks that a band that plays Madison Square Garden is still wildly popular

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/47814/the-top-10-songs-in-…-america

whiney i don't have the strength to argue w u about this. u are right about whatever it is u are saying.

Hey Mordy, tell us what Grantland readers listen to

hahahaha

Klosterman really could have written "the experience of seeing the most popular (yet hated) rock band of 2001 followed by the most hated (yet popular) rock band of 2012" and been just as arguably correct. you know nathan rabin would have explained the distinction if HE made it.

I don't understand it either. It's like writing about how people hate Hootie & the Blowfish in 2000. As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008. Even the haters are more like "well, they suck, but they know how to write a hit"

I think I 'hate' nickelback but I also have no idea what they sound like or what their hits were

I'm sure you've heard them before. Their hits are ubiquitious if not very distinctive. If it helps I've always found them more tolerable than Creed

As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008

that's a long time to save receipts

never forget: http://idolator.com/366019/nickelbacks-chad-kroeger-gives-us-one-more-reason-to-be-jealous

so proud

Always he reminds us of who he really is.

shocked idolator still has all that shit archived

it really goes well with the new WE LOVE EVERYTHING CUZ WE'RE A CONTENT FARM logo

As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008.

nah, after that petition over some halftime show last year you can still make the argument they're the most hated band of the moment. surprised chuck never acknowledges that or that creed was sued for sucking in concert.

i haven't read the klosterman thing yet, but i enjoyed the GQ creed/nickleback thing. GQ dude is young too! and funny.

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/music/201204/nickelback-creed-nyc-concert-beacon-theatre-msg-review

kinda crazy that both articles came out the same day.

As far as I know, the last viable year of feverish Nickelback hating was 2008.

nah, after that petition over some halftime show last year you can still make the argument they're the most hated band of the moment. surprised chuck never acknowledges that or that creed was sued for sucking in concert.

― da croupier, Tuesday, April 24, 2012 6:18 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's a shame because they're so good on record

okay, read the klosterman thing. i liked that too. i like how he found some of the most eloquent Creed fans on earth to quote. or maybe most Creed fans are really eloquent!

and this is funny on Nickleback:

"The group's weakness is their obsession with transposable power ballads, most of which sound like what would happen if Bob Rock helped Coldplay write a really loud song for Garth Brooks (which would undoubtedly be the most popular song in the history of mankind, were it to literally exist)."

I never liked "it's as if Band X produced Band Y doing a song in the style of Band Z" style prose, mostly because of people like Klostermann

For the record I still think Nickelback are the most hated band around right now, but the hate has been dying down steadily for quite a few years. The era of whatever that album was with the car on the cover (All the Right Reasons?) is over. We'll always have "It's up to you, do you want to hear some rock n roll or do you want to go home?............alright, see ya"

Yeah well you have proven time and time again that you have no idea about anything

--The recent facebook page "Can a pickle get more fans than Nickelback
--The recent petition to keep them from playing the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Day Game
--The recent Rolling Stone interview with dude from the Black Keys going in on Nickleback

fuck off Whiney, how many ubiquitous Nickelback hits can you name that were released in the last 7 years

^^^ rejected lyrics from Pink Floyd's "Not Now John"