Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

xp yeah, Toys Ya Us *shakes fist*

And ledge's 106 reminds me:
108. "Greek" text written by loading up Microsoft Symbol font and typing English words, so it no longer either resembles the English or is a meaningful transliteration (thankfully this has pretty much died but it was a thing in the early/mid-90s when doing irredeemably naff things w/word processors and paint packages was new and cyberpunk or something)

109. people who drive well below the faster speed of traffic in the carpool lane, esp when traffic is dense. you're fucking it up for everybody. yes, i understand that you have 2 or 3 people in your car and are thus "entitled" to be there, but unless you're actually trying to overtake slower traffic, you have no good reason to be there. if you wanna drive at the speed of slower traffic, then join a lane that's already moving at your happy speed.

110. in the same spirit, people who drive in the far left lane yet fail to quickly move to the right when someone approaches from behind. if you're doing this on purpose, i hate you. and if you're simply that oblivious, you really shouldn't be in the passing/speeding lane in the first place.

111. people who increase their speed when you try to pass them, as though they really meant to be driving that fast all along, but forgot until you came along and reminded them.

112. people who do not walk to the right.

as far as walking goes, the worst is when there's a person ahead of me walking just slightly slower than my regular walking pace, so I either have to slowly pass them and walk along side them for a while or sprint past them as if I'm in some big hurry when really all I want to do is walk at a comfortable speed

114. People who cannot walk in a straight line but drift all over the pavement, and somehow anticipate which side you're trying to pass them on and cut you off, making you stop and go round them on the other side and look like an idiot.

115. Drivers who lean in close to the windshield, like they're squinting. You're only closer to the windshield; you're not closer to what you actually need to see in any way that would make a difference.

116. The entirety of the "freak-folk"/"new weird America" movement.

117. people who stop in the middle of busy pedestrian through ways to set down their bags to have a chat. sidewalks, airports, malls, museums, wherever.

118. similarly, people who do this with their shopping cart while ogling canned tuna. get the fuck to the side.

^ again, not so innocuous. but make me crazy.

119. people who describe every food they mention as "the most awesome..."

This thread is so hatey on OTHER PEOPLE. I tried to add some inanimate balance with hangers but it's swung back to humanity and it's out of control!!!!!!!!!! Seriously Hell IS other people.

droit de seigneur

Chapstick

elbows

hacky sack

uvulas

Justin Bieber

thumbs

calling tissues "Kleenex"

regional variants for soft drinks that are not "soda" or "pop" (including, ironically, "soda pop")

old Band-Aid(TM) brand bandages

120. other people

referring to the My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult song "(A Girl Doesn't Get Killed By A Make-Believe Lover) 'Cuz It's Hot" as "'Cuz It's Hot"

oh I see Laurel already went there

xp

121. Use of the word "awesome." I realize this battle was lost long ago, but I thought the word was supposed to mean something, well, awe-inspiring. I first heard it used in Star Wars (Luke seeing the Death Star: "It's AWESOME!"). A music professor of mine in college still used it in its pre-80s heaviness, and one day caught himself: "Jimmy Lyons' playing was AWESOME...and when I say 'awesome,' I mean in the way that word was used before people started to use it to refer to pizza."

(I think I told this story somewhere else on ILX...apologies for the repetition)

awesome story!

(choking on my own rage)

122. People who use the word "amazing" interchangably with "very good". NOT EVERY GODDAMN THING IS FUCKING AMAZING.

123. People who quote lyrics out of context to be funny. OH YOU FEEL STUPID AND CONTAGIOUS HUH? HERE, HERE'S A SHOTGUN

louis c.k. has a great bit about standing in line at the post office where the entire line is this seething mass of hatred toward whoever is at the window getting served. and then your time comes. and you're that guy. it happens so fast.

sorry I am one of the hated ones who overuses "awesome" and "amazing". (winces)

Couples at the grocery store who volubly plan their dinner while they're shopping.

125. Hidden broccoli in things that look like they do not have broccoli in them. I hate broccoli enough as it is, but hidden broccoli? SHIT JUST GOT REAL

126. People who fan themselves with a book or a magazine. IT DOESN'T FUCKING PROVIDE YOU ANY BENEFIT AND IT ANNOYS ME.

San Te you are on a roll! (Hi five)

Unles hi fives annoy the shit out of you, then I will happily retract

Hi-fives are always acceptable

*hi five*

As accidentally posted on the Strokes thread:

Some of you must spend 98% of your day walking around in an uncontrollable rage and I feel very sorry for you.

I just assume that people who get angry about pretty much any inconsequential thing just like being angry

made-up statistics

wtf fanning with a magazine totally works can't you fan properly or something no wonder u madd doggie

lol at people who take this list too serious!

It's just fun to vent about ridiculous things. Also typing in all caps IS REALLY FUN YOU GUYS

key words here are "innocuous" and "irrational". Note to onlookers: this is not the "Post your hate manifestos here" thread

would definitely waft myself with ur hate manifestos u disgusting savages

lol: OH YEAH WELL THAT'S JUST GREAT BC YOU'RE IN MINE, YOU WAFTING WAFTER

ppl with short fuses