Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

Sometimes life may feel like it's sucking you up
But it's not, it might be just you sucking

Sometimes life may feel just like you're losing the race
But you're not, you're just letting everyone else win

Sometimes it feels like everyone's being a dick
But they're not, it's just you being a dick to everyone

Some days it seems like nothing works right
But its fine, you're probably just using it wrong

99. Opening goods in the supermarket & eating/drinking them before you've paid for them (and then handing the opened package to the cashier at the checkout). The only exception I will allow is maybe, *maybe* if you have small children/toddlers with you. But if you're a grown person, surely you can wait til you've paid for the damn thing. It's called impulse control.

xxxposts, Laurel the accidental extending of the hand is definitely exempt in this case. It's more directed to the crabby, oblivious, rudey mcrudensteins who live to belittle salespeople.

100. Dust jackets. I feel I should keep them, but I don't really like them. Not that I'm incandescent about it, just mildly urrgh.

That's very sad because most books are ugly.

98. People who complain about every little trivial dumb thing in life because that apparently is their only outlet for releasing their rage.

^101 actually~

93. People in restaurants who order using either "Can I get . . ." or "I'm going to have . . . " instead of "May I have . . . " or "May I please have . . . "

No way, you're GIVING ORDERS not ASKING PERMISSION.If I want permission to get some food I'll ask my MOM.

102. Those long skinny rectangular mass market paperbacks. They're slightly taller than a normal mmpb, and skinnier, and they're just the absolute WORST to read because the page is so short from the spine that your hands are covering the words on the page while you're holding the book trying to read it, and it won't open far enough and AAAAAAGGGGGGGH. They make me angry and I hate them with a passion

Believe me, i'm well aware of my Andy Rooney-esque hangups.

103. Ppl who use their sleeves as barriers when they touch elevator buttons or the door handle to my office or any other surface the public touches. I'm uptight about germs but that is taking it too far.

This thread makes me terrified to meet you IRL vegemitegrrrl. I'd just be constantly on edge trying not to do one of the endless things that piss you off.

as a former waitress, 93 doesn't bother me at all. I did just ask you what you wanted, we're not playing mother-may-i

Once again, the inhabitants of ILE prove they do not love everything. This bugs the hell out of me!!

xxpost Viceroy, I'm really very nice in person. I keep all my rants in check for the most part, unless I'm in the car with my husband and then he gets the full performance. He calls me the female Andy Rooney :)

Oh, but if you really mean to someone who doesn't deserve it, or treat a person badly in front of me, then I get a little scary. I have a tendency to fight for the underdog.

Oh, and Viceroy, remember the key to all of this: I am Australian, so chances are I would never never never tell you. You could be a waitress who pours hot coffee in my lap and I will probably tell her it was my fault for not paying attention.
I will just complain incessantly about you once I am home.

104. People who walk around crowded urban areas and ride the subway with huge backpacks but have absolutely no concept of the room they are taking up, thus cluelessly banging into people and blocking pathways without even a second thought.

^ not innocuous

True, but when I've brought it up before people seemed to think I was making too big of a deal out of it.

I would never say that. I rode the train yesterday with a couple, of which the man kept pressing his sweaty back against the upright pole I was holding onto, right over my hand, and the woman had her arm and shoulder wrapped around the next-nearest pole and was touching most of it with her body so one else could hang on. At rush hour. When I got off the train, I had to excuse myself three times and then say, "Seriously." to get her to move so I could pass. And she was really offended.

Tourists, possibly sports fans. Was there baseball yesterday?

18. Someone said this already elsewhere on ILX, but sandwich artist - YOU"RE supposed to know what makes a good sandwich, don't ask me, just make it!!!

― Faerie Liquide (admrl), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

There is an Italian market in my neighborhood where the dude behind the deli counter makes sandwiches totally based on what the best stuff he has in at that time is. You just ask for a sandwich, and he makes you one.

I have never had a bad sandwich there. And I have them a lot.

He's an artist. Those motherfuckers at Subway are sandwich assembly line workers.

― Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you guys seriously get mad at ppl that work at subway?
that's the way the restaurant works, they have to ask you what you want.
they are just doing their job.
wtf.

See thread title, especially: "irrationally"

105. Episodes of unhelpful inaction when someone knows what they should do but does nothing because their ass isn't covered. Or some legalistic criteria hasn't been met. Or both.

Er should read "should" in itals, not in strikethrough!

106. Fake 'Russian' text that is just English with backwards 'R's.

Like that notorious Russian toy store?

I harbour vast irrational anger abt
people who walk slowly in front of me
and people who walk impatiently behind me (may actually be imagining the impatience)
and people who overtake me quickly, like ooh see how fast I can stride, slowcoach
and people who overtake me slowly so they are right alongside me for like a block
and and and really anyone I have to see when I walk anywhere, want to be in my own little bubble at all times and only see squirrels and wild birds instead of people (see irrational happiness thread)

and then I realise I'm doing it and have some more for
106. me, for being so easily made irrationally angry by daily occurrences

Oops, 107.

xp yeah, Toys Ya Us *shakes fist*

And ledge's 106 reminds me:
108. "Greek" text written by loading up Microsoft Symbol font and typing English words, so it no longer either resembles the English or is a meaningful transliteration (thankfully this has pretty much died but it was a thing in the early/mid-90s when doing irredeemably naff things w/word processors and paint packages was new and cyberpunk or something)

109. people who drive well below the faster speed of traffic in the carpool lane, esp when traffic is dense. you're fucking it up for everybody. yes, i understand that you have 2 or 3 people in your car and are thus "entitled" to be there, but unless you're actually trying to overtake slower traffic, you have no good reason to be there. if you wanna drive at the speed of slower traffic, then join a lane that's already moving at your happy speed.

110. in the same spirit, people who drive in the far left lane yet fail to quickly move to the right when someone approaches from behind. if you're doing this on purpose, i hate you. and if you're simply that oblivious, you really shouldn't be in the passing/speeding lane in the first place.

111. people who increase their speed when you try to pass them, as though they really meant to be driving that fast all along, but forgot until you came along and reminded them.

112. people who do not walk to the right.

as far as walking goes, the worst is when there's a person ahead of me walking just slightly slower than my regular walking pace, so I either have to slowly pass them and walk along side them for a while or sprint past them as if I'm in some big hurry when really all I want to do is walk at a comfortable speed

114. People who cannot walk in a straight line but drift all over the pavement, and somehow anticipate which side you're trying to pass them on and cut you off, making you stop and go round them on the other side and look like an idiot.

115. Drivers who lean in close to the windshield, like they're squinting. You're only closer to the windshield; you're not closer to what you actually need to see in any way that would make a difference.

116. The entirety of the "freak-folk"/"new weird America" movement.

117. people who stop in the middle of busy pedestrian through ways to set down their bags to have a chat. sidewalks, airports, malls, museums, wherever.

118. similarly, people who do this with their shopping cart while ogling canned tuna. get the fuck to the side.

^ again, not so innocuous. but make me crazy.

119. people who describe every food they mention as "the most awesome..."

This thread is so hatey on OTHER PEOPLE. I tried to add some inanimate balance with hangers but it's swung back to humanity and it's out of control!!!!!!!!!! Seriously Hell IS other people.

droit de seigneur

Chapstick

elbows

hacky sack

uvulas

Justin Bieber

thumbs

calling tissues "Kleenex"

regional variants for soft drinks that are not "soda" or "pop" (including, ironically, "soda pop")

old Band-Aid(TM) brand bandages