23. use of the word "random" outside of anything mathematical. i think it stems from ppl who use it to describe anything slapstick or absurd (a monkey in hockey skates omg so random!!!!) but i now have a Pavlovian response to it in any context.
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
I posted this on my FB but
24. People humming along to music they haven't heard or humming something completely unrelated while other music is playing.
― corey, Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:10 (2 years ago) Permalink
He's an artist. Those motherfuckers at Subway are sandwich assembly line workers.
25. People who say things like 'I bought a Subway' for lunch. No, you bought a shitty chain-store sandwich. Giving it a brand name does not make it better.
I think I said this elsewhere, but
26. People who have widescreen TVs/monitors, but don't adjust the aspect ration, so everything is squat and fat.
― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
what if they mean they literally bought a subway? d'ja ever think of THAT?
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
OK, good point. They bring that fucker to work and I'll be impressed. And I'll use it to go home.
― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:19 (2 years ago) Permalink
I think my speech patterns for the day have been set to ice cr?m over here: "My mom thinks I'm cool" - the lamest boasts you've ever heard
27. People who call their husbands "DH" on the internet.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
28. Rocky Horror pre-shows.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:50 (2 years ago) Permalink
Ugh I hate that one (xpost the DH thing)
29. Stubbing my toe/tripping over somethingThe other day I tripped over the vaccum cleaner and got SO MAD I almost smashed the full jar of pasta sauce I had in my hand against a wall :/ WTF.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:51 (2 years ago) Permalink
Oh man I just burnt myself AND got a splinter in the past half hour and I was so disproportionately Hulked out. It was fucking stupid.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:52 (2 years ago) Permalink
Haha I do that too. Cat gets under my feet? RARRRGH. Kick foot on table? NNRRGHHHH!!^%%^$ Spill sauce on my shirt? FUCK YOU SAUCE I KILL YOU WITH GUNS.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:54 (2 years ago) Permalink
I had a moment of horrible self-recognition once watching Black Books, and Bernard Black turns on the tap and starts yelling 'Come on! COME ON!' at it in the second it takes for the water to start coming out.
― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Thursday, 30 September 2010 02:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
30. mediocrity
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 30 September 2010 02:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
31. pedestrians walking in the bike lane THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING PED PATH PARALLEL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BIKE PATH
i mostly think this when i am walking on the ped path
32. ppl who don't use turn signals. this may be a holdover from having my foot run over by someone who failed to use a turn signal.
― just1n3, Thursday, 30 September 2010 04:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
wait what the hell is DH
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
if it is "da husband" then i reserve the right to be rationally angry
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
33. bars that have no free option for sober dudes (doesn't affect me but hey i have sober friends)
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
irrational largely because i expect bar peeps to give out stuff for free, which makes no sense. but cmon fuckers pony up
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:49 (2 years ago) Permalink
34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh." Just don't. BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING LAZY. USE YOUR GODDAMN WORDS.
35. 20-something Little Miss Sunshine barista at my local Starbucks omg I fucking hate you: unless you are 50+ years old, you cannot call me 'sweetie' or 'sweetheart' or 'hon'. In fact, UNLESS YOU ARE A FUCKING WAITRESS FRESHENING MY COFFEE AT A TRUCKSTOP IN EAST FUCKOFF IOWA, YOU CAN EAT A DICK. JUST SHUT UP AND MAKE MY COFFEE. Please.
36. Friendly, engaging conversation first thing in the morning. SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP YOU RIDICULOUS FREAK OF NATURE.
37. "Orientated".
― VegemiteGrrrl, Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:04 (2 years ago) Permalink
Its "dear husband" afaik. Theres horrid acronyms for the kids too, tho I forget what they are now.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
And it makes me think of those columns in womens trashy mags, like "Mere Male" that are all "lol! hubby put a shoe in the REFRIGERATOR, he is SUCH A DUMMY!"
&*^^&% uuughhh.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:07 (2 years ago) Permalink
38. I really hate that sound in YouTubes when there's no sound but breathing and the camera moving around in someone's hand, all Kkkkllonnkkkuuhhhh
― some o))) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:08 (2 years ago) Permalink
east fuckoff
― Interior shop day an eager customer enters (admrl), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:08 (2 years ago) Permalink
Bicyclists who run stop signs because THEY ARE INVINCIBLE.
― Darin, Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
39. I really do get irrationally angry on internet AND irl when anyone does the "well CRYSTAL bands are the new WOLF bands" joke or any of its variants ("I'm starting a band called Black Deer Crystal Wolf Bear, right?").
Most people think it's a cute joke, but I've heard it like nine bazillion times. It's like a warning flag that someone pays a enough attention to music to joke about it, but not enough to actually form a substantive opinion on anything.
― some o))) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
the fact that LAFTH guy--a professional comedian!--has a variant of it in the jacket copy of his book pretty much cements the fact that he is a total hack
― some o))) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
We were making wolf band jokes, like 4-5 years ago
― Interior shop day an eager customer enters (admrl), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
To be fair, the people who usually do this are 20 year old boys who have a tenuous relationship with the physical world and their frontal lobe.
(xp to myself... or maybe not)
― Darin, Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
For that matter, WOLVES are no longer a hip or funny reference
― Interior shop day an eager customer enters (admrl), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
40. People who eat noisily at their desk in a cramped shared office space. There's someone who's manages to slurp when eating an apple - how's that possible?
― Bob Six, Thursday, 30 September 2010 07:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
41. people who litter42. people who don't clean their dogs' poop off the sidewalk
actually these belong on the "disgusting savages" thread.
― 808s and Hatebeak (get bent), Thursday, 30 September 2010 07:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
43. people who say they are "going down to X" when they are actually travelling north or vice-versa
― i feed these skreets (tpp), Thursday, 30 September 2010 07:59 (2 years ago) Permalink
17. People who make left turns on red. THAT'S ILLEGAL.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 5:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
hey, this is OK in seattle. one-way onto a one-way.
44. people shouting into cell phones45. people shouting upon exiting bars & clubs46. people shouting to one another as "conversation" in any environment
― having taken an actual journalism class (contenderizer), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:01 (2 years ago) Permalink
47. people who frequently want to tell you how incredible their kids and/or pets are
― having taken an actual journalism class (contenderizer), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:03 (2 years ago) Permalink
48. people who have to think things over once they get to the register. you're there, fucking buy something.
― having taken an actual journalism class (contenderizer), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:05 (2 years ago) Permalink
that's not innocuous that's actively reprehensible
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
hey, this is OK in seattle. one-way onto a one-way
It's legal here too if you're going one-way onto a one-way, but in FL people do it everywhere, even 4-way traffic lights. Often to make a U-Turn, but sometimes to actually turn left. buncha dumbfucks here.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:37 (2 years ago) Permalink
49. white people who use hip-hop slang ironically, to be funny. OK WE GET IT, IT'S NOT FUNNY, FUCK OFF.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
yeah half of these thingsa are stright up dickish, not borderline or innocuous!
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:43 (2 years ago) Permalink
^was gonna say
― bear, bear, bear, Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:54 (2 years ago) Permalink
There's someone who's manages to slurp when eating an apple - how's that possible?
You have heard of this thing "apple juice?" I don't want to blow your mind, but it comes from APPLES. And sometimes it comes out when you're EATING THE APPLE. Apple juice dribbling down your face is nagl.
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
like dudes never proof reading their posts (keyboard issues really beginning to cramp my style)
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Thursday, 30 September 2010 10:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
Assumed "thingsa are stright up dickish" was your Italian/Cockney heritage coming through tbh.
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 11:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
ha!
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Thursday, 30 September 2010 11:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
50. People that list Passion of the Christ as an 'important' film.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 12:03 (2 years ago) Permalink
Italian/Cockney heritage
Italney? Cocklian?
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, 30 September 2010 12:07 (2 years ago) Permalink
I'm just imagining a mashup of those two accents
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 12:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
romeford
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Thursday, 30 September 2010 12:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
51. I have a friend who corrects me every time I say "black comedy" as she says the proper term is obviously "dark comedy" since the prior one obviously means stuff like Richard Pryor. OH YEA THEN WHY COME EVERYBODY ELSE USES THAT TERM, FECK OFF!
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 12:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
besides, Richard Pryor would be "Black comedy", not "black comedy"
non-car loving friends who go to vintage car shows & post endless arty instagramesque photos of doorhandles & grilles & badges & steering wheels & NEVER TAKE A PHOTO OF THE WHOLE FUCKING CAR
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 18 May 2013 16:58 (3 days ago) Permalink
Tourists, ugh.
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Saturday, 18 May 2013 16:59 (3 days ago) Permalink
xp i hate detail shots like that in architecture/interior design magazines.
― fit and working again, Saturday, 18 May 2013 17:06 (3 days ago) Permalink
when you're on a RottenTomatoes page and you press the down arrow key to scroll down, it redirects you to the page for Star Trek Into Darkness, and when you continue to hold down the down arrow out of frustration, it cycles through the list of upcoming movies, redirecting you to a different page as soon as you release the key. it probably serves me right for visiting Rotten Tomatoes, but still,
― unregistered, Saturday, 18 May 2013 22:27 (3 days ago) Permalink
I'm just trying to find out if From Up on Poppy Hill is any good. fuck you for making me use the mouse or the scrollbar or the PgDn key. is this lazy web design or a deliberate ploy to get more pageviews?
― unregistered, Saturday, 18 May 2013 22:30 (3 days ago) Permalink
thank you, Shel Silverstein, for helping me get through this difficult time.
― unregistered, Saturday, 18 May 2013 22:32 (3 days ago) Permalink
- when I have a really satisfying post for this thread and I forget what it is by the time I get around to posting.
― carl agatha, Sunday, 19 May 2013 00:25 (2 days ago) Permalink
I've had one for awhile about the driveway in front of my daughter's school, but when the time comes to post it here, I come to the conclusion that I'm not really that annoyed by it and in fact, might be just trying to come up with something new for this thread.
― pplains, Sunday, 19 May 2013 00:34 (2 days ago) Permalink
Saw the new Star Trek movie this morning. People who applaud Big Moments or nerd-bait lines of dialogue in movies should have their hands chopped off.
― 誤訳侮辱, Sunday, 19 May 2013 21:14 (2 days ago) Permalink
I really just want silence during a movie. So I rarely see movies in theaters, especially crowded ones.
― Jeff, Sunday, 19 May 2013 21:15 (2 days ago) Permalink
When the sheet down by my feet comes untucked at the corner and it wrinkles up and I can feel the wrinkles. I cannot abide this. I just angrily twitched all my covers out of the way and got up and retucked the damn thing.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Monday, 20 May 2013 02:39 (Yesterday) Permalink
Ugh. Especially when something like that happens when you're too asleep to figure out the problem. For me, anyway.
Though I usually can't stand having my feet or legs covered at all when I sleep, so no untucking troubles, usually.
― Je55e, Monday, 20 May 2013 02:56 (Yesterday) Permalink
誤訳侮辱, did you used to post under another name?
― pplains, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:52 (Yesterday) Permalink
That stupid "Thug Kitchen" website.
― carl agatha, Monday, 20 May 2013 15:42 (Yesterday) Permalink
Stop yelling at me! I'll eat what I want, you bossy jerk!
airplane food
― Evan, Monday, 20 May 2013 15:58 (Yesterday) Permalink
What is the deal with that? And that little circle cut out of the tray - I mean, hey! Do you really think I don't know where to set down my plastic cup of 7-up? Or do they think that's somehow going to hold it in place during some turbulence. I got news for you stewardess - if this plane goes down, I think I'm not going to care if my cup slides a bit, amirite?
― pplains, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:01 (Yesterday) Permalink
Several. The one I used for the longest was probably unperson.
― 誤訳侮辱, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:01 (Yesterday) Permalink
I saw that same very thought about Star Trek retweeted last night.
― pplains, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:20 (Yesterday) Permalink
I'm on twitter as burn_amb (for Burning Ambulance, the magazine/website I run).
― 誤訳侮辱, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:23 (Yesterday) Permalink