Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

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I'm surprised the first comment wasn't 'there' = 'their' - rather, alternative sentence structures were considered... just odd i thought..

Hope you all enjoy missing this summer's DMB tour - the fans won't miss ya there either.

-- english major (stupidpeopl...), March 24th, 2005 11:18 PM.

Did you mean, "The fans won't miss ya. They're either" ?

dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 24 March 2005 12:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"This thread should be published as a novel."

and that novel will be made into a short film with manic edits and inclusion of all the pics and shite in this thread for accuracy. this short film will undoubtably inspire a major motion picture or perhaps a public apology from Dave himself, which will include the phrases - 'i'm sorry i sing like a muppet', 'i'm SERIOUSLY sorry about my fanbase of idiots and assclowns who interpret my every move as that of jesus christ himself.', and 'sorry about the poo-dumping thing. but really, that wasn't THE BAND or MYSELF, but the sanitation co. we used. who have been sacked.'

or perhaps this thread will experience a revival on par with 80's fashion or neo-hippidom with the coming of the next DMB joint.

has anyone posted a link for this onto a DMB forum?
just wondering.

eedd, Thursday, 24 March 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

From the Derogatis hatethread. For "Jim" and "he," substitute "you," for "Jim's," substitute "your," then adjust verbs accordingly, and voila, ilm defends the dave and implicates itself in one fell swoop!

But the music that Jim really doesn't like that is celebrated in the mainstream 20 years on -- and which is being re-sold now with gusto, even though he hates it-- tends to be the music that he disdained because guys who had girlfriends, and dates, and stuff like that were into it. In fact, an argument can be made that this music was responsible for the most god-awful times in Jim's history of being a loser and not getting laid.

dove, Thursday, 24 March 2005 21:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I feel bad for all of you. Especially the person who started this shitty, ball sucking thread. But also for those who contributed to this worthless jizz spot of a thread which this has amounted to be. Go get a life you jack asses, and stop irritating fans of good music. Enough Said.

a h, Saturday, 26 March 2005 03:49 (nineteen years ago) link

"Go get a life you jack asses, and stop irritating fans of good music."

This, in a nutshell, would be my message to the Dave Matthews Band.

John Justen (johnjusten), Saturday, 26 March 2005 05:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Haha!

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 26 March 2005 05:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Go T-bag your self.

ddf, Saturday, 26 March 2005 22:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Not possible, I'm afraid. And god knows I've tried...

I have to say that I think my response was fairly well-mannered in response to a post that included such hugs-n-cuddles as "shitty, ball sucking" and "worthless jizz spot" in reference to the opinions of those above.

In contrast to my earlier nice-nice, my response to you is that perhaps you should go eat a bag of dicks. Which, I hear, is a more biologically plausible alternative.

Juvenalia can be fun! Who knew?

John Justen (johnjusten), Saturday, 26 March 2005 23:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Who is Dave Matthews? Should I have heard of him? Have I spent too long hunting out obscure Albini bootlegs?

I'm not joking, btw.

Si Carter (Si Carter), Sunday, 27 March 2005 00:12 (nineteen years ago) link

You haven't missed much. He's a singer songwriter who brays like a donkey and fronts what sounds like a Spin Doctors cover band...only without the funk.

Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 27 March 2005 00:44 (nineteen years ago) link

"...only without the funk."

oh, i dunno.
the fans...i mean...they kinda, well, i'm sayin...
well, they got some sorta 'funk' goin on, right?

heh. right?

yeah.

eedd, Sunday, 27 March 2005 01:01 (nineteen years ago) link

You haven't missed much. He's a singer songwriter who brays like a donkey and fronts what sounds like a Spin Doctors cover band...only without the funk.
-- Lord Custos Omicron (l.custo...), March 27th, 2005.

Wow. It took 1977 posts, but someone finally nailed it better than hstencil's first response.

Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Sunday, 27 March 2005 15:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Thanx. But hstencil should get credit for summing up the muppet-ness.

Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 27 March 2005 21:59 (nineteen years ago) link

This thread is historic, no? I haven't posted on it yet, so here's my contribution, pre-2k.

There's a good chance this has already been said in some form, so I'm risking an xpost (I'm not reading through 1,980 posts, sorry), but seriously, if you've heard enough music over the years, there's a good chance that you should know better than to consider them as one of your favorite bands. If you love DMB that much, you probably need to listen to more music. (How's that for elitist?) And if DMB happens to be your favorite band for life, then there is no hope for you, and you will never understand true listening enjoyment.

I'll admit that I think a few of their songs are really well written (I always liked "The Best Of What's Around" and "Dancing Nancies" is pretty cool) but seriously, who actually puts "Dave" in their CD player and listens to it, when there's literally thousands upon thousands of bands more worthy of their time?

Oh and also I saw them at Jones Beach in 1997 and it was the worst concert I've ever been to.

billstevejim, Sunday, 3 April 2005 07:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Aha, I've just found the reference (about 1,700 posts above) to Travis and Ocean Colour Scene. I understand completely now....

Si Carter (Si Carter), Sunday, 3 April 2005 09:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Dave USED to be better than a lot of stuff on the radio…in like 1994. Under the Table and dreaming was a good album. As far as I can tell after that it was downhill musically, as popularity got huge. I started to develope an intense dislike for him as I saw tons of people I had no respect for at college worship him. In my experience, it was all the cool interesting people who DID NOT like him, and all the sort of groupie/unoriginal people who DID. I know there are plenty of very intelligent people out there who like him, I know a few of them…but mostly, I think it’s his overwealming uncurious/unoriginal followers who just go with what the crowd thinks is popular and love him that turns me off big time. I used to have a stereoype (circa 1998) of people who liked him–it went something like this “Yeah, I drive a jetta, shop at Abercrombie and Fitch, Listen to DMB, Phish…

So there...Stupid Matthews! Stupid overal fan base....Big fat stupidness everywhere. People think for yourselves...take your asses to the barber shop. Tell the barber you're sick of looking like an asshole. Wesley Willis has more talent in one little finger.

Boards of Canada, Thursday, 7 April 2005 15:23 (nineteen years ago) link

This is the thread where we anticipate and then flip out over how great M.I.A.'s 'Arular' is (36 new answers, 1040 total)


d00ds, this is gaining WAY too fast....
it's only been around for 4 months!!!!
make w/ the hate, people!!!!!!

eedd, Friday, 8 April 2005 03:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Because thats what all the popular kids liked in highschool... and instead of going Columbine on them, I just vowed to hate DMB....

Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Friday, 8 April 2005 06:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh, and the music sounds like the weather channel...boring ass shit meant to be playing in the background as newscasters talk, then go home, then listen to the same shit in their cars.

Boards of Canada, Friday, 8 April 2005 14:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't even remember why I used to like these guys. something about ... perhaps ... maybe ... nope. nothing.

lemin (lemin), Friday, 8 April 2005 14:54 (nineteen years ago) link

it's good to see so much real distaste for this tasteless band...

Boards of Canada, Friday, 8 April 2005 15:58 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.timreynolds.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5738

another blog worth visiting
Dave sucks cock for a living!

drainbrain, Friday, 8 April 2005 19:12 (nineteen years ago) link

here's the thing about indie kids: they suck. they like bands shirts more than the bands, and all the music they listen to sounds the same. a bunch of shaggy unemployables trying to sound as lo fi as possible, because all honest music sounds like it was recorded in a vacuum cleaner. it's not about music with indie kids. they don't like dave matthews because he's on the radio and people who aren't hip as them like them. i didn't go to the link, but i'm certain there isn't one legitimate musical argument there. they think they know a lot about music because they can name a lot of obscure bands. hipsters blow. now you've got me started on these fucks. great. i'll be angry the rest of the day now.

labatt blue, Friday, 8 April 2005 19:43 (nineteen years ago) link

labatt blue, you can suck on my hairy balls...while you read this comment...so anyway, you have a point about the teeshirts and all that, why the hell do indie kids like that shit? actually it's fair to say some do. Any, allow me to let you know that Dave matthews Shits on people's faces just for fun! You could be next...you don't think that bus driver who dropped all that shit on people in the river really did it? NO...it was fucking Matthews...all because he thought they were some dumb asses who listened to his music...thinking, how are these mainstream assholes so damn stupid do be listening to my sorry ass over and over?

I hope you fart until your world is full of your own asshole smell

Dave matthews will CUM on your face and then you will lick it off!

infestedterran, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

who will score the coveted 2000th post?

labatt blue, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Whoever does, I hope it involves Dave Matthews' plasma given that all his other bodily fluids have been given time.

I DESIRE...MACARONI NECKLACES AND SOAP SCULPTURES (Matt Chesnut), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Dave Masturbates all night long...I have proof...and then he shits himself

pope john paul II, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:31 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't even remember why I used to like these guys. something about ... perhaps ... maybe ... nope. nothing.

Lemin, you're from Boulder. You get a free pass.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:34 (nineteen years ago) link

They bring shame to the church..they corrupt america's youth. They incourage mindless hippie sex. Dave should have his ballsac put on a chopping block and pounded with a sledge hammer, while all his pansy-ass fans with their white jock-ass baseball caps, low-IQ buisness middle management positions, preteen girls, circus monkey frat boys, ALPHA BETA LAMDA bullshit people sit back and stare at their lives passing before him, as his reproductive seed is smashed forever and ever...so that there will no longer be anyone to pass on his complete utter assholeness too. Fuck off and Die dave.

pope john paul II, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:38 (nineteen years ago) link

What happens? This is exciting!

What Happens At 2000th Post?, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:40 (nineteen years ago) link

More Dave Matthew's fans appear.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think I'd like dave matthews.

RJG (RJG), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

this should've been 2000

A Momentous moment is about to happen on ILM

tim reynolds, Friday, 8 April 2005 20:49 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think I'd like dave matthews.

2000, like the year, comes not with a bang, but a whimper.

And not a trace of plasma, either.

I DESIRE...MACARONI NECKLACES AND SOAP SCULPTURES (Matt Chesnut), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:50 (nineteen years ago) link

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Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Where was Allison? She should have had the 2000th post.

Will this thread ever reach 2500 or 3000?

Dave Matthews, Friday, 8 April 2005 21:06 (nineteen years ago) link

DMB sucks......and you suck for liking them.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:12 (nineteen years ago) link

European Electronica A-holes is what we are!

Where is Erasto B. Mpemba? (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:19 (nineteen years ago) link

"I'm content with the fact that if you would have never posted that link, I would never know that site existed. And I plan to continue my life as if I don't know that site is there. I still haven't followed the link, and I don't plan to. I know sites like that are out there, but who the fuck cares."

Where is Erasto B. Mpemba? (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I bet this won't all be so funny when it gets so long your HIPSTER LAPTOP'S CRASH opening it up!

crash into me, Friday, 8 April 2005 21:23 (nineteen years ago) link

1988 older messages are hidden.

Where is Erasto B. Mpemba? (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:26 (nineteen years ago) link

ok DMB fans, you really make asses of yourselves by generalizing the ungeneralizable....but you are easily generalized. You are assmunchers.
You like a retarded artist dedicated to buttsex and fingerbanging.

pope john paul II, Friday, 8 April 2005 21:35 (nineteen years ago) link

You like a retarded artist dedicated to buttsex and fingerbanging.


Evidence?

The Scottish Restauranteer (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link

"Indie rock died flat in 1994 and everybody knows that, viscerally."

The Scottish Restauranteer (ex machina), Friday, 8 April 2005 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

The landmark of 2000th post deserved something better like when it reached 1000. At least some cake and balloons.

Robbie j, Saturday, 9 April 2005 04:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Why do I keep opening this thread?

was a question asked as far back as April 20, 2004.

My psyche has been permanently traumatized by Dom's repetitive photo bombardment.

I think I need a shrink.

The Silent Disco of Glastonbury (Bimble...), Saturday, 9 April 2005 05:12 (nineteen years ago) link

lesseee here...

we already had the cookies...
Dune references
Star Wars references
pics a' plenty

hmmmm...
2000=time to post onto DMB forums to link and watch the ensuing battle for the universe?

or not.

eedd, Saturday, 9 April 2005 23:56 (nineteen years ago) link

"Wesley Willis has more talent in one little finger." in reference to Mssrs. Matthews and band.

The amazing thing about this is that it's true. And Wesley's dead...but the statement is still rooted in undeniable fact.

Dear DMB fans. A dead schizophrenic has a lifeless appendage that is more talented than your favorite musician. Just thought you should know...

I keep hoping you will fight back, rather than disappearing into the ether. I can only assume you are too busy smoking your hacky-sacks, or whatever it is that neo-hippies do when they aren't out doing that orbit-in-a-circle dance or sticking Phish stickers over their fraternity logos on mom's Jetta.

Jerks.

John Justen (johnjusten), Sunday, 10 April 2005 00:37 (nineteen years ago) link

I still say the couple songs I've heard have been okay.

RS £aRue (rockist_scientist), Sunday, 10 April 2005 00:40 (nineteen years ago) link


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