mom placation was ironing by which mens perrypops in a womansuit is the new child mystericating teats that can taint baconated digestive broads plastercasting gnostically from the great gospel wwjh

The best stuff that is made out of pig fat is bacon.

1) bacon should replace parsley as a garnish
2) all meats should be wrapped in bacon, including bacon
3) there exists a vendor called BACON FRIED BACON and I am ashamed that I have failed to go every time I've seen them at outdoor events

i share your shame. the state fair will be divided between bacon fried bacon and scotch egg on a stick and drunk

wait

bacon fried bacon sounds like bacon fried HEAVEN

also lol a friend of mine recently ordered a lettuce-based salad that was garnished with arugula in a Boston area restaurant; we all lolled

guys you should tear up raw bacon stripes & put them in with the ground beef next time you make burgers

no i'm not a vegan or vege at all, but bf is so out of respect, i am resisting eating big juicy steak/burger/etc. in front of him, even tho he keeps saying that he doesn't mind at all.

OIC well shit eat the hell out of some meat then yarrrrrr

I have got to find a sitter for the State Fair. I don't want my kids to eat all the bacon fried bacon.

I salute everyone. Hello everyone.

Guys, have I mentioned how this has been on my mind the whole week?

You mentioned it to me, not so much to others around here I don't think.

I haven't been following super closely, did they actually charge the guy they brought in or was he just questioned?

Brought in, charged, $1 million bail.

My god, how horrible and sad!

The murder, I mean, not the amount for bail.

nice cover, Aunt Scrooge

oh man Ned, is there no way to turn off the autogenerated links at the bottom?

I don't deny my bitchiness; I just don't usually take it out on dead people.

At least ones that I never met. I mean, REALLY.

oh man Ned, is there no way to turn off the autogenerated links at the bottom?

Jeez, good point. I hadn't even thought of that. I'll see what I can do.

how sad. :(

in lighter news, i saw matmos tonight!

Cool! I sat outside with friends and drank dacqueris (which I seriously cannot spell).

summer movie frenzy 08 continues with more episodes of art documentary and "Walk Hard: the story of Dewey Cox"

i am continuting my top modelness now. cntm cycle 2.

I am still waiting for Sweeney Todd to arrive, but am now afraid to watch it because something in it actually made John recoil.

There's really only one scene in it that's kind of grim and that scene is so ridiculous that it doesn't seem particularly real.

i still haven't watched it.

i am off to the beach for the day!!!

I will watch it from the safety of my treadmill. (Dan, if I fall off, I'm holding you responsible!)

I think we're finally going to take the kids to see Wall-E today.

Have fun at the beach, tza!

I am on a train. It is not moving. Boo. Need to get back for pirate puppet rock opera tonight!

I hope you get back in time for your fun plans! Wall-E was cute and now I'm making peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies. Once kids are in bed, I think we're going to watch tv... whoo hoo!

you guys, Sweeny Todd killed Sara

;_; rip sarcastic friend

;_; rip peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies

More for me. Oh wait.

For god's sake, I think you all know that if it was me and Sweeney Todd, I'd be an even match for him.

Doesn't mean I don't have a few soft spots in my heart for cookies and animated movies. SHEESH

good a.m., ITR!

i just realized that something i do every single morning is the sort of thing that as a kid i would have thought mysterious and cool and very adult had i seen someone else do it: sit on the porch in my pajamas, reading, drinking coffee, smoking.

by which i mean to say I LOVE BEING AN ADULT.

in shanghai this becomes sitting on the steps of the hotel at 4 a.m. (at which time i woke up every single day i was there) in my pajamas and an overcoat; i think in shanghai it is perhaps less cool, more mysterious and definitely weird.

shanghai at 4 a.m. is kind of great. still sweltering but slightly less so. cab drivers waiting for a fare (and offering to take me for a drive around the block -- no thanks, i'm in my pajamas); merchants with their carts of vegetables bicycling to the market; couples ambling home from the club; uniformed municipal workers sweeping the streets with bamboo brooms. always people around no matter what or when.

Okay, somehow you have made me want to 1. become a morning person, 2. start smoking, 3. make coffee and 4. visit Shanghai in my pajamas.

Quite a feat for two posts!

man o man i am hngrty

time for choco croissants

so as not to disrupt your entire sense of being and family tranquility, sara, i will tell you what else can happen at 4 a.m. in shanghai:

one can open one's hotel room door to go outside to smoke in one's pajamas, and a gigantic, horrible insect can rush into the room and, despite one's jumping around and squeaking, the enormous, terrible insect will rush under one's bed.

at which point one will have no idea what to do, and so one will carry out one's original plan, which is to go outside and smoke in one's pajamas.

cut to 9 a.m.:

lxy: a huge and terrifying bug came into the room; it's under my bed.
jergins: you should've woken me up.

cut to next day:

jergins: i found the bug. in my suitcase. dead.
lxy, crimson with shame, whispers: i'm sorry.
jergins: you didn't tell me it was orange.
lxy, queasy with disgust, whispers: i'm so, so sorry.
jergins: i flushed it.

cut to evening:

jergins: it didn't go down.
lxy faints and swoons for a long long time.

moral of the story: SMOKING IS BAD!

But the insect didn't smoke.

omg woah!

um, guys, THE JOLLYSHIP WHIZ BANG is perhaps the best thing i've seen in ages and i was so so so so sad that all of ITR was not there to share the dead baby jokes and SCURVY with me!!

So the moral of the story is to teach insects to smoke? Because that sounds difficult to execute. Also, there was a centipede in my DISHWASHER this morning, so forget tranquil family existences. Also, EWWWWWW.

tehresa, you are making me so sad that we weren't there. As we all know, there is nothing better than scurvy. Dead baby jokes would just be icing on the proverbial cake.

I have to get on my treadmill this afternoon and I So Don't Wanna!

there was also religious and colonial satire thrown in.

i have to do laundry and clean and i so don't wanna!

oh and a bar open throughout the performance.

MMMMMMM pirates and scurvy and satire AND an open bar! The perfect evening!

oh not open bar as in free, but as in "inside the theater and it's ok to leave your seat and go buy a drink in the middle of the show'. still awesome.

Not quite as perfect, but still ^_^

I think I have reached my procrastination limit, and now must get to the workout. SO SAD

i kinda want to get drunk and lie in the sun today, but that is not good cz i have so much workkk