particularly if we start calling up phrases like "wrist-deep in roast beef"
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link
no, you'll see no change at first but over time you'll notice male posters are more likely to agree with, excelsiorize, and attempt faps with this theoretical female poster.
― omar little, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link
kenanpaws
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:28 (sixteen years ago) link
This thread is starting to smell like Turbo.
― libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:29 (sixteen years ago) link
attempt faps
lol
― dan m, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:29 (sixteen years ago) link
I keep hearing this thread's title in my head as said by Adam Horovitz
― Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:29 (sixteen years ago) link
possibly Sex Panther.
(ok, that's my second Anchorman reference before lunch, no more today.)
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:30 (sixteen years ago) link
i hate to go all tuomas on you guys, but do you guys mean like shoving a dildo up one's snatch? or just masturbating? cause if you mean the former no. if you mean the latter, well, no to that either. sorry to disappoint you.
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:31 (sixteen years ago) link
(masturbating as in using my finger)
fuck this sleep deprivation, i get all scattered brainiac. :-(
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:32 (sixteen years ago) link
This thread is frot with peril.
― Oilyrags, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:33 (sixteen years ago) link
'frot'?
― Michael White, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:33 (sixteen years ago) link
frot frot frot
― elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:33 (sixteen years ago) link
no no no FAP FAP FAP dude
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:33 (sixteen years ago) link
typig wit on hasnd?/
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:34 (sixteen years ago) link
This thread is starting to smell like Turbot
FYP
― Mark C, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:34 (sixteen years ago) link
SORRY
ugh. Rugburn.
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:35 (sixteen years ago) link
if i see frot i'm thinking of rubbing my delonghi machine again until it comes (ejects a latte for me)
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:36 (sixteen years ago) link
frot frot frot is for when you grind up on the corner of the xerox machine
― elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:36 (sixteen years ago) link
ejacu-latte
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:36 (sixteen years ago) link
y'know, i was very close to that when i drank my first latte (from the new machine) this morning. if i don't hold myself, i'm going to mention my delonghi in every single post from now on.
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link
you should nickname your delonghi 'tynan'
― elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:39 (sixteen years ago) link
tynan tynan frot frot frot
Ah, so you bought the DeLonghi. Now this thread is about two of my favorite things.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:40 (sixteen years ago) link
i did. my husband was a bit "wtf" when it sank in how much it cost. we're not big coffee drinkers. hah. but man i needed a machine that makes me lattes.
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:42 (sixteen years ago) link
:( I have had to get off the espresso (temporarily, I hope) because i've been way crazy jittery on it lately. I can still do coffee, but no... uh... foam. It's not the same.
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:43 (sixteen years ago) link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frotteurism
I guess I'm the only one around here who spends a lot of time thinking about disused sexual terminology.
― Oilyrags, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:44 (sixteen years ago) link
I've had to limit myself to one shot in the morning. They claim it's the same caffiene as a cup of coffee, but I think that's probably based on your old-fashioned pizza-joint style watery espresso and not the heavily-extracted kind I make.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:45 (sixteen years ago) link
kenan, i have to do decaf cause i'm breastfeeding the youngest. also i will never be able to have more than one cup a day unless i want a raging out of control migraine attack later on.
oilyrags, dude, that's not disused. it's one of my favourite words.
hurting, i think it's the same: doesn't matter how much water you add to it, it's just the same amount of caffeine, no?
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link
Not how much water but how much pressure you're using. More pressure = more extraction from the grinds.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:50 (sixteen years ago) link
I think it hits you differently, harder, regardless.
Coffee:espresso::beer:a shot
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:51 (sixteen years ago) link
In addition to the pressure your machine generates to begin with being a factor, you can generate additional pressure by 1) tamping harder, 2) grinding finer, and 3) (if you have a manual machine), bringing the lever down harder.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:52 (sixteen years ago) link
all this talk of pressure and tamping and pistons and levers... makes me want an espresso
― Hurting 2, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:53 (sixteen years ago) link
> oilyrags, dude, that's not disused. it's one of my favourite words.
Faith in humanity: restored.
― Oilyrags, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:53 (sixteen years ago) link
i'm off to rub my TYNAN.
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:54 (sixteen years ago) link
I injudiciously ordered a "red eye" one morning recently (large coffee with two shots of espresso in it) and I was just a basketcase. Very awake, but nearly shaking and totally unfocused. I couldn't get any work done, and that's not what coffee is supposed to do.
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:54 (sixteen years ago) link
mgs Caffeine per serving
Drip 115-175 (7 oz cup) Espresso 100 1 serving (1-2oz) Brewed 80-135 (7 oz cup)
― Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:04 (sixteen years ago) link
Who the hell drinks a 7 oz. cup?
people who wanna "spew out" their shit as fast as possible.
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:13 (sixteen years ago) link
Why is thread about coffee all of a sudden?
― ENBB, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:19 (sixteen years ago) link
oh sorry... You have the floor. Please tell us all about female workplace masturbation habits.
;)
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link
What the hell . . . once - years ago. I was alone in the office, really bored and we had a private bathroom. I guess that might not count because there was no one around, I might as well have been at home.
― ENBB, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link
* adds above post the the list of things I will surely regret admitting on the interwebs *
Are you a female?
― Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:29 (sixteen years ago) link
wow, i thought this thread would stay about coffee.
― JuliaA, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:30 (sixteen years ago) link
I am indeed female.
― ENBB, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:31 (sixteen years ago) link
Coffee is an afro deziac.
― libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:32 (sixteen years ago) link
erica is a trailblazer!
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:34 (sixteen years ago) link
I'm sure there are others. They're probably just not stupid enough to admit to it.
― ENBB, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:34 (sixteen years ago) link
I remember some story I read many years ago wherein some woman talks about masturbating thru her pants in the car while she was driving somewhere and I was all like, damn, that sounds convenient!
― libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:35 (sixteen years ago) link
I learned from riding the school bus and looking out the windows that there are a lot of men out there who aren't afraid to just unzip and enjoy during their morning commute. A lot.
― ENBB, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:36 (sixteen years ago) link
I have done that a couple of times at night, but this ain't the thread for that.
― libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:38 (sixteen years ago) link
oh god, this is why i am happy that i only need to cross the street to get to work. which is funny cause even that short distance: some tosser (hah!) wipped out his penis and masturbating.
"Why is thread about coffee all of a sudden?"
because that shit is awesome of course.
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:38 (sixteen years ago) link
MASTURBATED. God...
― stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:39 (sixteen years ago) link
NB: It's really difficult to keep the car both clean and uncrashed if you so dare to try it.
― libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:39 (sixteen years ago) link
Steer with your knees, people.
― jaymc, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:42 (sixteen years ago) link
My friend Steve used to be an expert at steering with his knees but that was from taking bong hits while driving not getting off.
― ENBB, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:42 (sixteen years ago) link
I've had the driving wank (long drive, empty highway) but it's too complicated to be anything but a bit of a boredom killer. Dudes doing it in morning traffic, even next to school busses (!) obviously are getting a different kind of thrill out of it. Crepey to the extreme.
off topic, though.
― kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:55 (sixteen years ago) link
Not to rat her out or nuffin but Roxy is another lady who enjoys herself at work as confessed on this thread. I was not searching for a wanking thread when I found it. Honest.
― Upt0eleven, Friday, 11 April 2008 19:08 (sixteen years ago) link
Dude y'all my never-touched blog is frotparty.blogspot.com ! Frotting is the funniest thing ever! (Funny bcz it is foreign and odd tho I doubt it would be a bucket of laffs were I its unwitting subject.)
― Abbott, Saturday, 12 April 2008 02:14 (sixteen years ago) link
Basically it is everything I enjoyed on ILX in 2006, reworded slightly. :(
― Abbott, Saturday, 12 April 2008 02:17 (sixteen years ago) link
Kind of wish you had a never-touched frog instead.
― libcrypt, Saturday, 12 April 2008 03:16 (sixteen years ago) link
I knew a guy who used to drive around in his van and beat it all the time. He also used to go into public bathrooms with this other guy to do it a lot. But these are both for different threads I suppose...so...I'm off now...
― RabiesAngentleman, Saturday, 12 April 2008 13:46 (sixteen years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― ILX System, Tuesday, 15 April 2008 23:01 (sixteen years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― ILX System, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:01 (sixteen years ago) link
guys, the appropriate term for female masturbation is "strumming the clit-ar"
― jessie monster, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:06 (sixteen years ago) link
fess up how many lolvotes from dudes
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:38 (sixteen years ago) link
how many lol votes from ladies?
― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:40 (sixteen years ago) link
Yeah, I wanna know too because at least three of you gave me shit for being honest and I was about to say ha! see - there's loads of us but now I'm thinking that lots were boys.
― ENBB, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:41 (sixteen years ago) link
you know, there's plenty of porn available from your computer if you look for it.
― or something, Thursday, 17 April 2008 00:09 (sixteen years ago) link
Results: original poll: 51.4% rub ladeez only poll: 77% rub
(with a huge margin of error based on my math)
― Jesse, Thursday, 17 April 2008 01:09 (sixteen years ago) link
9/11 changed everything ;(
― JTS, Thursday, 17 April 2008 16:27 (sixteen years ago) link
I'll cop to being a "yes". But that's all I'm saying.
― Laurel, Thursday, 17 April 2008 16:33 (sixteen years ago) link
gross.
― ian, Thursday, 17 April 2008 16:37 (sixteen years ago) link
im questioning the validity of polls
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Monday, 6 March 2017 19:58 (seven years ago) link
still haunted by this tbh
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 11:02 (seven years ago) link
It has a haunting quality.
― Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 11:09 (seven years ago) link
The beauty of single person bathrooms?
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 11:58 (seven years ago) link