Come anticipate Fabio Capello's two years as England manager with me

it's not as cut and dried as geezer vs aesthete, this is silly.

Williams may not be a geezer but that doesn't mean his prose should be let off the hook. Just because he tries to bring in themes that you might not normally read in football does not exonerate a crap metaphor like the above painting one, in any case the idea of people vaguely musing about art in football writing is pretty hackneyed.

I thought clumsily shoehorning art metaphors into football discourse was pretty much stock in trade for a certain segment of the media? See also the BBC coverage of every international tournament since 1990 or thereabouts.

the future of England...

under 21 draw, winners of these ties join hosts Sweden in euro under 21 tournament next june

http://www.uefa.com/competitions/under21/news/kind=1/newsid=748709.html

Germany v France
Denmark v Serbia
Turkey v Belarus
Austria v Finland
Wales v England
Italy v Israel
Switzerland v Spain

When I finally read that Richard Williams article, I thought the art aspect was pretty good. It showed a knowledge of an actual Italian art movement, not just generalized BS about sport as art, and the whole thing partly revolved around a joke about the England team being like a Dadaist urinal. The painting phrase quoted upthread was, I think, a subheading bit added by a copyeditor or whatever.

DC says the BBC have 'clumsily shoehorned' art into football discourse. (When did anyone who uses this kind of talk, certainly including me, last use a shoehorn, clumsily or otherwise?) It's true that there is some kind of marginal slo-mo aestheticism around the edges of tournament coverage - and I am happy with that. But the central reality, as we must all surely remember, is Adrian Chiles asking Lee Dixon about how full-backs mark, Alan Hansen declaring the first half of a game the worst he's ever seen, Shearer saying 'I've been impressed with them, I really have' and Lawro saying 'exciting game -- NOT'. Not really a lot of art around.

I used a shoehorn about six weeks ago actually, while trying on a pair of shoes in a shop. It's not an action that's easy to perform with a huge amount of grace.

Anyway Walcott's performance is as good an excuse as any for me to start banging on about the need to promote Ashley Young and Gaby Agbonlahor to the senior squad sooner rather than later. Can't remember the last time there was an England team with much in the way of pace.

I have never used a shoehorn.

I have never attempted to squeeze a quart into a pint pot.

England will play friendly internationals against Slovakia and Slovenia at Wembley in 2009, the Football Association has announced.
Fabio Capello's side will face Slovakia on 28 March, three days before the home World Cup qualifier against Ukraine.
Slovenia will be England's opponents on 5 September ahead of the Group six match against Croatia on 9 September.
"It's very important to play similar style opposition as practice for the competitive matches," Capello said.

reminiscent of what Sven said re playing Jamaica to prepare for playing Trinidad & Tobago

mid-ranking countries England haven't played this decade:

Norway (last met in '95)
Ireland (last met in '95)
Bulgaria (last met in '99)
Belgium (last met in '99)
Scotland (last met in '99)

Fifa has fined the Croatian Football Federation £15,000 for racist behaviour by their fans during the World Cup qualifier with England on 10 September.

YEAH, THAT'LL LEARN 'EM

15k is Bilic's wage for three years though.

He tops that up with income from his band.

He's in Skrewdriver?

RAWBAU

So, about that dawning of an exciting new era, eh lads?

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/TEE_RIPJ/BOJS002~Women-s-Borat-I-Heart-Kazakhstan-Posters.jpg

(to be revised at fulltime, no doubt)

Also they've kidnapped Rooney and replaced him with a bricklayer.

need 4-3-2-1 with Owen up front

The Wembley pitch is still as big and slow as its always been.

Kazakhstan should be 1-0 up.

The Wembley pitch England team is still as big and slow as its always been.

http://seoulcurry.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/bob-the-builder.jpg

that's more like it!

LOL@KAZAKHSTAN

I really think England can go on and win now, if they put 10 men behind the ball.

WHO THE FUCK IS BORAT????

all v reminiscent of Albania game 7 years ago

England "putting Kazakhstan in their place" there, ITV cheerfully inform us

Even compared to the BBC commentators Tyldesly and Pleat are full of jingoistic crap.

you'd think they were Englishmen!

I know it's a vain hope, but a little bit of objectivity is not too much to ask for, surely.

why, do we get objectivity with the cricket?

i wonder how few places below England a country could be in the rankings before 'putting X in their place' wouldn't come up (it comes in the context of goal-less first half tho)

Game's not on Scottish TV, btw, so jingoism not as annoying as it is on the BBC (am watching via the magicks of Sky)

x-post Relative to football, cricket is objective, although that's still not saying much.

Jingoism is fair enough I reckon, it's just that Pleat is a complete fucking arsehole whatever he says.

BBC is always less jingoistic than ITV! Tho Motty most at fault for jingoism at the Beeb.

Flukey second goal!

Motty most at fault for jingoism at the Beeb

Only cos Barry "Look at that disgusting cheating foreigner, they don't like it up 'em the fuzzy wuzzies you know" Davies has been retired.

What a load of complete horseshit.

What, Barry Davies or England?

steady on pinefox, they may yet scramble a third xp bah

LOL

Everybody knows you can't just sit deep and hang on against quality opposition like Kazakhstan.

i've just accepted England will always struggle and perform poorly against the lower-ranked teams

four words too many there.

England fans may be wishing Capello had fallen through a TRAPP door.

BORE-AT

ROO ARE YA

a goal using feet...just imagine it!

Nice to see Rooney representing for male pattern baldness sufferers.

and ferrety beard wearers

he's gonna look like john mccririck in 20 years

I see Wales are sticking it to the Liechtensteiners.