Being sexually attracted to (or repulsed by) certain racial types: the acceptable face of racism?

Why would anyone find a certain 'race' unattractive? All of them seem to have plenty of attractive people in my experience. I wish there weren't so many goddamn white people everywhere here though, ya know.

No, "political" ideas about race stem from basically the same material as interpersonal ideas about race -- cultural influence, family influence, personal experience, all the usual shit that shapes people's worldviews. If there's a distinction between them, it's this: we can put intellectual checks on our "political" ideas about race. They matter in our opinions about the world and in the way we treat people, so when we recognize racism in our thinking, we can use our big old brains to try and quash it. Our genitals are more complicated. For one thing, they're not out in the open; chances are we'll never really have to investigate why we're attracted to the people we're attracted to, and the mechanics of the thing are so closed-off and mysterious to us that we probably wouldn't get very far even if we tried. More importantly, it's really hard to override our attractions with logic and intellect.

So yeah ... who we're attracted to is just as bound up in our ideas about race as anything else. And yeah, there's gonna be mild or complex racism in that, as there is in anything. There's a reason we don't go around hassling people about that, though, and the reason is that it matters very little. It doesn't deny people jobs or housing; it probably won't affect how you vote; it probably won't affect how you treat people -- it's limited to the sphere of your personal life, and so it's entirely, entirely your own business. Your business, like everyone else's, is going to be affected by complicated ideas about race, yes, but in most cases that's between you and your own brain.

And remember that this is true of loads of things having nothing to do with race. Everything affects our romantic life, good and bad. The way you think about sex can be influenced by the model of your happy parents or by having been sexually abused as a child. It's all in there, and it's pretty much up to individuals to sort out how to deal with it -- what's "right" and what's "wrong," what's "healthy" and what's not, what's worth trying to change and what's not.

And please for god's sake let's not pretend racism is any less complicated than that -- this idea that racism is some kind of "conscious decision" wherein people decide to totally hate some group is just completely unreal. It's as complicated and semi-conscious as anything else in our heads, and it's way less about some sort of decided "hate" than it is about little ideas and preconceptions and tiny chunks of worldview.

i'm OTM in case nobody noticed

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), April 13th, 2004 7:35 AM.

-- the (logica...), April 19th, 2004.

Exactly. Am I sexist because I am only attracted to one sex ?

what of people who are attracted to those who look like themselves (not just generally but specifically)? how many of us does this describe? are they racist if they're vain/narcissistic (primarily auto-erotic?) in the first instance?

He starts well by making a culturalist case, and saying that racism is present in all situations. But then he spoils his point a bit by saying "it's pretty much up to individuals to sort out how to deal with it"... as if there were a place where individuals could step outside of all that cultural stuff he's just described, or as if there weren't also group solutions, cultural solutions, political solutions (legislation, changing social mores, being John and Yoko and posing naked together on an album sleeve, etc).

well what have you done for THEM lately?

It was his lovely green eyes I fell for. Then someone told me they were Photoshopped.

who is reflecting?

I'm gonna say no because it could be put more eloquently/tastefully as 'i want to sleep with different types of people instead of just the one type' and there's nothing really wrong with that. I figure most people have thought along those lines at some point or another.

I still think there's a marked difference between ruling out sex with same gender and ruling out an entire racial group.

Steve, there's also nothing wrong with fancying certain types of people - look at Will Carling always going for women with cropped blonde bobs, for example. Or Brad Pitt always making himself look LIKE his partner of the time...

what's the opposite of preference? no preference. how is that prejudice?!

the point i'm making is merely that crass generalisations (what does an Asian woman look like? etc.) are a dumb way of putting it and will appear suspicious. and people should say what they mean/be more specific.

i have a friend who only likes men with blue eyes and refuses to even consider any who don't. that seems like mentalism to me.