pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

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Did you guys know that IKEA is a furniture store that is popular in urban and developing urban areas that has some hip appeal due to its distinct european charm and a low price that leads to its use in the homes of those who are young and aspiring to that aesthetic?

mh, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

The frequent usage makes sense, though: "IKEA" is a single word that carries a whole host of connotations, many of which are relevant and appropriate when also describing music.

jaymc, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Cold Ikea percussion frames hold downy white duvets of keyboards, the music sterile and functional

this sucks, though^

this sucks less

Cold percussion frames the keyboards, the music sterile and functional

Mr. Que, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

That Tortoise one is very strained, I agree.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

gah i hate lofty-minded writers. everyone should write like a mix between hemingway and a 40s beat reporter.

Granny Dainger, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

Haha that Tortoise one is BRENT D who I haven't thought about in years. What a goof that dude was.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

He writes for Time Out Chicago now, so I still see his byline almost every week.

jaymc, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

deja vu

deej, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

Did I mention that last night?

jaymc, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

haha yes

deej, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

gah i hate lofty-minded writers. everyone should write like a mix between hemingway and a 40s beat reporter.

-- Granny Dainger, Thursday, June 19, 2008 9:18 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

are IKEA references your idea of lofty writing?

s1ocki, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

why do ppl hate on ikea so much? it's like if you don't have a lot of dough and just need a dresser or coffee table that looks decent enough it's not a bad place

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

no this is though: Cold Ikea percussion frames hold downy white duvets of keyboards, the music sterile and functional
xpost

Granny Dainger, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

i only hate on IKEA when it's used in figurative language in association with a music review

Mr. Que, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

tylerw, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

NickB, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

i only hate on IKEA when it's used in figurative language in association with a music review

THIS ^^^

stephen, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

i hate on ikea cause its a horrible place to be inside

jhøshea, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

this one dude i saw on the news had been waiting on the street for two days to get into the red hook ikea to get free furniture

jhøshea, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

it was crazy

jhøshea, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

The only way you could compare music to IKEA would be if, say, the download cost you $.99, but then you had to pay another $.10 to load it into your iPod, another $.10 to put it in a playlist, $.50 for the metadata, another $.50 for the album art, etc...

You gotta love a business model that sells you the table separately from the legs. Genius.

pshrbrn, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

more like you have to buy percussion separately.

deej, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

"hi hats are an extra .10"

deej, Thursday, 19 June 2008 22:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

exactly! i guess that's sort of the radiohead model for those remixes stems, no? i wonder how many of the contest remixers scrimped and didn't buy, say, the bass.

pshrbrn, Friday, 20 June 2008 00:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

Isn't it good? Scandanavian wood

Steve Shasta, Friday, 20 June 2008 00:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

What's odd is that the music review references to Ikea always make the furniture sound more glossy and professional and, well, sturdy than it actually is.

Like, the real IKEA pop would be Robyn - not because she's from Scandanavia, but because there's that same sense of rickety el cheapo construction aspiring to ape the high-tech and high-cost fashions of the day.

Tim F, Friday, 20 June 2008 00:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

This is just what happens when the generation who watched Fight Club too many times during adolescence grows up and becomes music writers.

adamj, Friday, 20 June 2008 01:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

(I know because I am part of that generation)

adamj, Friday, 20 June 2008 01:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

You gotta love a business model that sells you the table separately from the legs. Genius.

That's great because you can choose what color legs to go with what color table!

dan selzer, Friday, 20 June 2008 13:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

paint would be cheaper. and more versatile!

pshrbrn, Friday, 20 June 2008 16:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

What these writers really mean to say is "This music reminds me of IKEA because they play stuff like it at IKEA."

Hurting 2, Friday, 20 June 2008 16:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

mostly they play stuff like it at urban outfitters but nobody wants to admit they shop there once they get their first job

also THE CONTAINER STORE people
fills more inches and is less done

El Tomboto, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

do they play stuff like this at IKEA? the ones i've been to are playing kinda normal supermarket/mall sort of music. i think.

tylerw, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

Actually I haven't been to IKEA in years so I don't know.

Hurting 2, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

Pretty sure the first time I'd ever heard of IKEA was via the Pavement song "Date w/IKEA."

jaymc, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

jaymc always with the really random cultural blind spots!

some dude, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

What these writers really mean to say is "This music reminds me of IKEA because they play stuff like it at IKEA."

-- Hurting 2, Friday, June 20, 2008 12:53 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

they play soft rock/pop radio at ikea

and what, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

not the alt/indie peter bjorn & john style soft rock but like air supply and shit

and what, Friday, 20 June 2008 17:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

It was 1997! They hadn't yet penetrated the Midwest.

jaymc, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm with jaymc, that too was my first exposure to IKEA.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, it looks like the Schaumburg store opened in fall 1998.

jaymc, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

ironically, the first time i heard of pavement was at an ikea.

Granny Dainger, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

You should've borrowed my Walkman on the National Honor Society field trip to Navy Pier.

jaymc, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

i hate on ikea cause its a horrible place to be inside

Sometime around 1999 I think I nearly had a relationship end entirely because of the stress of a day at IKEA. You can walk in at 10am and find yourself at 5pm, still there, wanting to murder everyone around you, you and your companion both convinced that the other is the most irritating soft-headed pain in the ass ever to have walked the earth. There should be some sort of Survivor-style reality show set in an IKEA.

(I think the only reason the girlfriend and I didn't wind up killing one another that day was that I managed to carry a 7-foot circular rug through crowds and down three flights, which gave me immunity.)

nabisco, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

i wasn't in NHS! just NJHS. (and i was lying. i'd heard of pavement in Spin)

Granny Dainger, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

some dude, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

xp For some reason I think I knew that. (The first part, I mean.)

jaymc, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

The best part is that if you go in the morning and do all your slow strolling and looking around and considering options, by 2:30 or so you'll be tired and snippy and running around trying to gather things up and get the hell out of them -- except then there'll be an afternoon crowd of couples strolling happily around considering options, and you will probably want to punch them all in the face and tell them that love is an illusion and they'd better get the hell out of your way because this is the real world and you are putting your foot down, getting the original lamp, taking it home, and strangling yourself with the cord. It's like an instant aging process between the morning and afternoon crowds: "Remember back at 11 when we were like that, so happy and full of dreams? These poor bastards have no idea what will happen to them in two hours."

nabisco, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

it's been very freeing to purge myself of all my ikea crap, though i've found it very difficult to find a new dining table on craigslist because it's all ikea bullshit.

omar little, Friday, 20 June 2008 18:52 (6 years ago) Permalink

say what you want about ikea but if you have a shitlaod of books like i do their cheep bookcases are a fuckin godsend

s1ocki, Friday, 20 June 2008 19:17 (6 years ago) Permalink


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