Defend the Indefensible: "Reality Bites"

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I forgot it had Joe Don Baker! Too bad that it couldn't also have been mst3k-ied.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:55 (twenty years ago) link

It's almost self-MSTing, surely.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:56 (twenty years ago) link

I like Ethan Hawke. But I have not seen Reality Bites. Somehow I missed it and I never got round to wanting to see it. And all this thread's done is make me really want to see it! Ha.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 00:58 (twenty years ago) link

There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.

― Troy Dyer (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:02 (twenty years ago) link

I like how half of his pleasures in life are product placements

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:04 (twenty years ago) link

"ride my own melt"

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:04 (twenty years ago) link

This Gear is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

― Troy Dyer (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:05 (twenty years ago) link

Ben Stiller really needed to have his head caved in by a crowbar midway through that movie for all of his supposed generation-defining inanities. I've held a grudge against him ever since that came out.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:06 (twenty years ago) link

reality bites is another reason why all white people must be killed, immediately

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:06 (twenty years ago) link

o why can't i get just one screw

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:07 (twenty years ago) link

OK. Have any of the people ripping on this movie seen S.F.W.? Show of hands.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:07 (twenty years ago) link

this is gonna be like when professor frink asked if anyone had seen tron

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:07 (twenty years ago) link

It might be the movie that made me hate him, because I remember watching the Ben Stiller Show. I've never watched Dead Poets Society the same way since, either, cause when Ethan Hawke shows up being all blinky and timid, I just think, "Yeah, you know, maybe the whole 'teachers feel feelings' thing doesn't work and Robin Williams SHOULD be fired, because you grow up to be a fuck."

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:08 (twenty years ago) link

I haven't, Anthony, but you're not making me want to. Besides, I've seen New Rose Hotel, which is worse; that doesn't make Reality Bites any better.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:09 (twenty years ago) link

OK. Have any of the people ripping on this movie seen S.F.W.? Show of hands.

"Guys? Guys? If you think this shit on a platter smells bad, you obviously haven't left it out in in your living room for a few days!"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:10 (twenty years ago) link

I'm just saying that after S.F.W. this film seems completely benign. If overambitious and absurd.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:12 (twenty years ago) link

"hey you think dogshit tastes bad, try eating this panhandler's corpse"

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:12 (twenty years ago) link

ohhh new rose hotel omg omg

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:14 (twenty years ago) link

these metaphors should stick within the world of prepared meals (which are what films are). It's more like "you think Ethan Hawke's overbaked pizza is bad, check out Stephen Dorff's sometime."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:15 (twenty years ago) link

What the hell is SFW? I kept reading this as "SWF" as in "Single White Female" which is inarguably worse than Reality Bites.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:16 (twenty years ago) link

ohhh new rose hotel omg omg

Man, I'm sorry, I was hoping that was a private pain.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:16 (twenty years ago) link

Anthony, Anthony, there is no way that the sheer awfulness of Reality Bites can even come close to being compared with food, but if you really must, and to keep in the same mode as the movie itself, watching Reality Bites is like drinking a Big Gulp container filled with warm piss. Maybe for SFW the pisser ate asparagus the night before, but I still don't want to drink the piss.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:17 (twenty years ago) link

YER ALL INNOCENT CHILDREN WITH NO CLUE OF WHAT HORRORS AWAIT THEE IN THE VIDEO STORE! NO CLUE WHATSOEVER!

peace out.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:20 (twenty years ago) link

Just to toss in a couple of things for a non-existent Defend the Indefensible: New Rose Hotel thread...

- a decent ability to suggest a futuristic industrial landscape via only a few murky city shots
- Asia Argento topless

that's all I got, really.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:21 (twenty years ago) link

i can get topless asia argento on the internet tho. for free.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:22 (twenty years ago) link

in fact, i think i will right now.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:22 (twenty years ago) link

See, and that suggests the future, too! We don't need you, New Rose Hotel!

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:24 (twenty years ago) link

No one's saying there are not worse films than Reality Bites of course, just that none of the worse films feature Ethan Hawke as a musician asshole with a goatee.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:24 (twenty years ago) link

except gattica

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:25 (twenty years ago) link

no goatee there.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:25 (twenty years ago) link

Ethan Hawke as asshole identity assuming janitor

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:25 (twenty years ago) link

checking it on allmovie i'm surprised at how late NRH came out. 99!

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:26 (twenty years ago) link

I'm trying to think of movies that would be improved by EHAAMAWAG, and they're all dinosaur movies, and they all involve the dinosaurs eating/stomping on/crapping on EHAAMAWAG.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:26 (twenty years ago) link

hopefully EHAAMAWAG would be the noise he made

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:27 (twenty years ago) link

I'm actually picturing the dinosaurs from Land Before Time 4, 5, 6, whatever (or We're Back) doing this, and am kind of happy about it.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:28 (twenty years ago) link

Ethan Hawke is going to be in a remake of Assault On Precinct 13! geeyargh

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:28 (twenty years ago) link

who's directing it?

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:30 (twenty years ago) link

jan de bont

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago) link

Jean-François Richet

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago) link

(The dinosaurs are actually Jesus)

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:35 (twenty years ago) link

anyone else see Ethan Hawke as an asshole filmmaker Hamlet in that remake from a few years back? it wasn't too bad.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:36 (twenty years ago) link

Jesus should definitely get locked in a tower and break out by dislocating his shoulder so he can escape and eat Ethan Hawke.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:36 (twenty years ago) link

Jesus needs to floss afterwards too.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago) link

Or EHAAMAWAG, anyway. I don't hate Ethan Hawke in everything. (Training Day was cool.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago) link

The best parts of Training Day involved either Peter Greene or Scott Glenn, who just ain't in enough movies.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:39 (twenty years ago) link

i saw this at the height of my ryder obsession and i STILL thought it was the worst movie ever. even poor janeane is kind of annoying in it.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:40 (twenty years ago) link

ha ha

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:40 (twenty years ago) link

Anthony, you stupid fucking taco.

that line cracks me up every time. The only good thing about SFW.

― Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:42 (twenty years ago) link

The best parts of Training Day involved either Peter Greene or Scott Glenn, who just ain't in enough movies.

He made one too many Backdrafts and one too many Edie and Pens, I think, but yeah, he stole some scenes in TD.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:42 (twenty years ago) link

that asia argento thing is fucking terrifying

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 01:42 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 289 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

ENBB to thread so that we may FITE these evil poo poo-ers

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 04:01 (six years ago) link

Garofalo and Zahn much more appealing than putative stars

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 04:21 (six years ago) link

My opinion on this film tends to oscillate between mild approval and mild annoyance, depending on my mood, but it did inspire a terrific Siskel & Ebert review (not on YouTube at the moment, but available at this site, if you jump ahead 8 minutes into the video).

― iCloudius (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 04:43 (six years ago) link

ilx acts like the content of this movie is some great affront to their own v serious 90’s aesthetic but the truth is Ethan Hawke was hot, the music was (mostly) great, Winona was cute, the end

buncha buzzkills

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 04:57 (six years ago) link

Ethan Hawke has the most punchable face in the world most days and it really hit a peak in this.

― louise ck (milo z), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 05:00 (six years ago) link

see this ^ is the kind of attitude i’m talking about

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 05:01 (six years ago) link

I was not old enough to have a serious '90s aesthetic, I just really can't stand Ethan Hawke's face even though I like some of his movies.

― louise ck (milo z), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 05:05 (six years ago) link

I remember making fun of this movie when I saw it in the theater. But it had Janeane Garofalo, who redeemed it. I think about it every time I fold sweaters.

― sarahell, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 05:06 (six years ago) link

lol otm re sweater folding

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 05:41 (six years ago) link

Reality Bites vs. Singles, fite!

― nickn, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 07:00 (six years ago) link

y not both <3

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 November 2017 07:49 (six years ago) link

four months pass...

Bring on another raking over the coals!

https://longreads.com/2018/03/27/youve-reached-the-winter-of-our-discontent/

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 13:15 (six years ago) link

2300 words is a "long read?"

― Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 13:16 (six years ago) link

You millennials with your 280 characters and your etc

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 13:26 (six years ago) link

I just read this entire thread again. I like how someone mentions David Spade as being in the movie.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:10 (six years ago) link

I obviously have always had problems with how bad Ethan Hawke looks while kissing on screen.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:11 (six years ago) link

I obviously have always had problems with how bad Ethan Hawke looks ~~while kissing~~ on screen.

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:14 (six years ago) link

Ha, I said he looks like he smells like a hairless cat on the Before Sunrise thread last week.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:16 (six years ago) link

"you got time to lean, you got time to clean" - David Spade in Reality Bites may be my favorite thing he's ever done.

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:49 (six years ago) link

lotta dudes roll up itt to continually complain/whine/disparage Ethan and methinks the lads doth protest too much

Ethan is dreamy the end

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:51 (six years ago) link

So many problems with this movie but I still will watch it anytime it is on. I am only a tad bit embarrassed that I called Troy Dyer hot over a decade ago above.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:53 (six years ago) link

Had a similar moment listening to the Spin Doctors in the car recently tbf

― well bissogled trotters (Michael B), Tuesday, 27 March 2018 19:58 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

Generation X was a terrible mistake.

― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, 28 March 2019 04:41 (five years ago) link

saw thread, came here to post this, but of course it was already covered 15 years ago:

Winona Ryder

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, April 5, 2004 8:37 PM

― flappy bird, Thursday, 28 March 2019 04:58 (five years ago) link

five years pass...

I guess the owners didn't want any sweet Gen X Airbnb bux

https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/trending/article/reality-bites-home-houston-demolition-permit-19385708.php

A demolition permit was taken out on the Houston fourplex at 409 W. Clay Street in the Montrose neighborhood, the city’s permitting center confirmed.
Each unit of the property has one bedroom, one bathroom, a living and dining room plus hardwood floors, according to Apartments.com.
A YouTube video of a walkthrough of the building on Thursday, showed the home in disarray with trash and debris scattered in multiple rooms, doors off their hinges, displaced furniture and even a cat tower left behind from the previous occupants. It's unclear when the residence will be demolished.

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 April 2024 01:00 (four weeks ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qp9riQGrRI

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 April 2024 01:12 (four weeks ago) link

Would watch a split screen shot by shot reshoot of slacker then and now

― calstars, Saturday, 6 April 2024 02:10 (four weeks ago) link

There was a multi-director Slacker remake in 2011, and IIRC, they tried to match the locations.

A good chunk of the movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aRmEhJZhjI

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 April 2024 03:16 (four weeks ago) link

Thanks for that

― calstars, Saturday, 6 April 2024 13:43 (four weeks ago) link

True story (or so I've been told): Winona Ryder's character, Lelaina, was named after the future wife of a former ILX'or.

― clemenza, Saturday, 6 April 2024 17:53 (four weeks ago) link

...and it's gone: https://www.reddit.com/r/houston/s/lqRzzW3MEB

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 9 April 2024 23:15 (three weeks ago) link

Our long national nightmare is over.

― birdistheword, Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:28 (three weeks ago) link

It's totally Ethan Hawke's fault.

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:32 (three weeks ago) link

I'd rather blame Stiller.

― birdistheword, Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:37 (three weeks ago) link

For the movie that is.

― birdistheword, Wednesday, 10 April 2024 00:37 (three weeks ago) link

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