Rolling Teenpop 2007 Thread

Lessee, weirdest juxtaposition...ah, here we go:

290 1 LOT JORDAN KNIGHT CD'S (APPROXIMATELY 500 PIECES)
291 1 FRAMED PICTURE - PARROTS

292 1 Jordan Knight CD of parrots singing New Kids On The Block classics

that invoice chock full of Aaron Carter memorabilia reminds me:

"Saturday Night" was an underrated single.

The Avril/ lil Mama track now has a video, so I guess they're pushing for an official release? It's very very cute.

New Mandy Moore CD being streamed on AOL Listening Party (have only listened to one song so far and kinda expect it to suck; like Marit she's making the transition to singer-songwriter, unlike Marit she's going to be dumb. (But actually first song isn't awful by any means, but is vacuous self-esteem crap that the pop Mandy's now supposedly positioning herself against churns out daily; and I kinda like track two as well; hmmm, maybe this will be a good stupid singer-songwriter album. Also I'm drdounk, er durou, er drunk.. er a little tipsy.)

(Third song is terrible, however.)

Avril Lavigne f. Lil Mama "Girlfriend (Dr. Luke Remix)" video here (but it's Launch Yahoo, so they may make you sign in).

I like M.Moore's "Most of Me," very countrypolitan. Are we just calling this teenpop because she was once a teenager though? It's so much more a country record than anything meant for or marketed for teenagers.

wow how about the song where she says she hopes dude burns in hell? I ARE A GROWNUPZ

Speaking of former teenpoppers who now seem country, has anyone heard the new Bon Jovi album, Lost Highway? I've heard the title track. Ringing guitars and a nice sing-along chorus that is emphatically pleasant but not remotely as good as [insert title of any of 20 or 30 songs by John Shanks, the former teenpopper I was referring to].

MONTHS LATE:

'over it' and 'open toes' by katharine mcphee are AMAZING!

Miranda fans not fond of Caine Mutiny

Aly & AJ and Christianity? Check out this comment an Aly & AJ fan recently left on my blog, which I thought was interesting enough to transcribe here:

"I mean I picked a brio magazine (Christian magazine for girls) up some place and they were on the front cover. They had a very interesting column. Then, a couple months later I picked up another one and it had a column of what the members thought of it. Three out of the five said that they were disappointed when they saw them on the cover. One said that her and her sister were disappointed to see them on the cover because they didn’t want to see two “Disney” girls on the cover of a Christian magazine. I, of course, disagreed with it."

I've heard the title track. Ringing guitars and a nice sing-along chorus that is emphatically pleasant but not remotely as good as [insert title of any of 20 or 30 songs by John Shanks, the former teenpopper I was referring to].

Lots of autotune on the snippets of songs in the ad being shotgunned into CMT. Didn't sound bad but maybe not good enough to get me to buy it on inspiration. Lots of flogging of Jon on CMT, and -- coincidentally -- in the LA Times Calendar section, whose interest in country seems directly proportional in the past few weeks to the Bon Jovi pr campaign wrapped around the album.

I don't think its possible for Calendar to publish a story about country without either mentioning Bon Jovi or putting a picture of him or the band in the newspaper along with some caption claiming Jon and company invented something.

Well, you could claim that Bon Jovi and Johnny Cougar are at the roots of a lot of modern country, though the Cougar claim would be stronger.

When you said "autotune" I read "autoharp" and thought "Hmmm, that could be good." I'm totally incapable of telling if something's been autotuned. Not that I care. (I suppose I'm capable of telling when something for sure hasn't been autotuned, like the first Modern Lovers album.)

Currently on The Hits - a Corbin Bleu infomercial!

"What's it like to be Corbin Bleu?"

"It's neverending, it's exciting, it's... unexpected..."

Some commentary on reception so far to My December and other thangs:

Me: I also think the industry is in enough upheaval at the moment that you get a lot of weird and unexpected reversals. Like Fefe Dobson putting out an album on Island that got dropped before it was even released and selling for ~$400 on eBay! W/ seeming hoax at Amazon that you can pre-order it to arrive by 2010. Or the current Kelly C. saga, which I'm very interested to see play out in the reviews sections. It's a small album with big ideas in it, put out by an artist who wanted to do whatever the fuck she wanted to do, and I respect her for it -- just wondering how much Idol baggage will carry over this time around. Her rock stuff ("Hole" still on repeat) is probably as gritty as any other rock album that's going to come out this year, but so far the whole "controversy" hasn't really recast Kelly as legit rock artist with serious aspirations to be seriously taken seriously.

Groke: Very bad review from The Guardian, by Caroline Sullivan. I can't work out what the first sentence of para 2 is even TRYING to mean!

"Kelly Clarkson has made enough of a career for herself - her last album sold 11m worldwide - that she no longer needs the prefix "American Idol winner". This has given her the authority to dictate the shape of her third album, and she has opted for rock. That's not rock as in "ROCK", obviously, but the wipe-clean kind that begs your pardon for making noise.

Paradoxically, Clarkson has been hailing the "intimacy" of the self-composed songs, which were written during an introspective period that followed her winning no fewer than 21 music awards in 2005/06. She writes in bland generalities, though, rarely equalling the directness of the opening Never Again ("I hope the ring you gave her turns her finger green/I hope when you're in bed with her you think of me"), and uses her opulent voice as a battering ram. The spooky ballroom-waltz of Irvine just about saves things, and hints at what could have been."

Worst word: "obviously", obviously.

Me: "uses her opulent voice as a battering ram"

This is OTM! I love that about her voice. I think my next column is going to be about "My December" and symbolic torture. It's very intense, and also an excellent rock album (I don't have any idea what she means by "wipe-clean," some of this stuff is absolutely brutal!).

Scott W: "Paradoxically, Clarkson has been hailing the 'intimacy' of the self-composed songs, which were written during an introspective period that followed her winning no fewer than 21 music awards in 2005/06."

I think what she's trying to say here is, this is a "personal statement" album, though her use of the word "paradoxically" is odd--it's like she thinks there's something paradoxical about performing "intimate" songs in a "rock" vein. That old intimacy-must-equal-Joni-Mitchell assumption?

A more interesting paradox, maybe, is the "not rock as in 'ROCK'" line--a paradox given that her use of scare quotes kind of unintentionally turns her point upside down, doesn't it?

"Or the current Kelly C. saga, which I'm very interested to see play out in the reviews sections. It's a small album with big ideas in it, put out by an artist who wanted to do whatever the fuck she wanted to do, and I respect her for it -- just wondering how much Idol baggage will carry over this time around."

Hmmm... this is precisely the stuff that will make me not want to read the reviews of this record. I need to think about why, though.

Eppy: Guardian review is interesting in that it makes an ostensibly "popist" criticism (i.e. "why doesn't she just stick to being a popstar instead of trying to express herself") in the context of defending "'ROCK'". At the end of the day it's this sorta stuff I ultimately don't like, the closing down of borders, the insistence that artists stay exactly what they are and proceed in expected directions when they do change (i.e. towards "respectability"). That's what pop sorta symbolizes to me. It's like a [pivot chord], the venue where you can change over. Because any genre can have poppiness, but only two genres can have pedal steel. If it's already poppy, it can also be whatever genre you want.

Oh and from my research interests around the "pulling a Mandy" move, I think the pressure on mainstream pop music-makers tends to come from their fellow musicians introducing them to "real quality stuff" which is always fairly boring. Musicians like VERY BORING MUSIC.
There's a perception that mainstream pop fans will ALWAYS start liking less mainstream stuff, that it's a phase you grow out of. The arguments against mainstream pop are so ingrained in our discourse about music that indie/underground partisans feel they don't even need to make a solid case. "How can you even like that?" is what it comes down to.

A few months ago, dabug rattled off a few forgotten (or soon to be forgotten) teenpop acts. That's how I discovered the insanity that is Gemz.

One of the other ones was The Valli Girls. And the Valli Girls confuse me.

I was only able to download 2 songs, a dull ballad off the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie (Always There In You) and a mindbending single- Don't Gotta.

Don't Gotta is amazing. It has an extremely lame chorus-- "Don't Gotta Have Sex, babe, if you want to be sexxxxy!"-- and the verses are a nonsensical melange of female empowerment, but the song is an assault of hooks. This song has it all: monstrous chord progression, huge bass, beautiful vocal harmonies and fills, a rap solo, a soaring guitar fill, and even a tire screech for good measure. I love it.

So then I visited their myspace page. It hasn't been updated in 7 months. The band is seemingly defunct, without ever putting out a record, but you can stream basically an entire album.

The descriptions of the band itself on the myspace, and their label's website, are unbelievable:

"Costa Rican native Houghton is the band's powerhouse vocalist. Guitarist Danielle Haim-who is endorsed by Gibson guitars-was schooled on Zeppelin, Hendrix, Clapton and "all three Kings-Albert, Freddie and of course, B.B." Danielle's sister, Este-the most outgoing and boy crazy member of the band-brings the slappin', in-your-face bass to the party. The classically-trained, Japanese-American, Ally Maki works her magic on the keyboard. Although she is the youngest member of the band, Lil' Nix plays seven instruments and brings slamming drum beats with a hip-hop attitude."

"Lil Nix can quote any Notorious B.I.G song VERBATUM (sic). Try her. She never disappoints. She also happens to be ridiculously punc tual (sic)! Jeez Nix! Raquel Houghton is our fearless lead singer who always brings the funk when we're jamming. Plus she has the best reflexes of anyone in the Valley. Not sure what that means but its gotta be good. Pura Vida. She also hails from Costa Rica. Sweet. Danielle Haim rocks out on her guitar and puts all the boys to shame with her mad shredding skills. It has been witnessed. Please do not attempt unless you would like the shredding of the skills up close. Don't mess with her, she knows Kung Fu. Ally Maki is our resident Chopin/Keytar player, who also has the most vast knowledge of the Chanel clothing line EVER! Not to mention she's pretty handy with a pair of scissors and a needle and thread. Ally really needs to be in the next installment of Charlie's Angels. Just a thought. Este Haim enjoys slapping things, among them is the bass. She also has a kick ass sense of humor and always keeps us laughing. And no....she's not crazy........ all in all, to us its all about having fun and playing our music! that's all for now folks!"

I mean, seriously. WHAT? Is this for real? Or is it all a Monkees-like act? The gorgeous lead singer with chops, the quirky bassist with a more rock voice, the cute asian keyboardist, the spunky rapper/drummer. It's all a little hard to believe. But... I want to believe.

Do they actually play the instruments on the records? Because, indeed, the drumming on the records IS awesome, and the bass is great too. And I mean, fuck, a KEYTAR?!?!!?

And the songs, the songs! Why didn't they ever release the record?

Born to Lead- Minimalist R&B with synth riff. Somehow related to a Cosmo Girl promotion

It's a hair thing- Fun Disney Channel rockpop with the INSANE lyric "Welcome to the Trollz World," and the awesome lyric "Conquer evil, then go shopping." Apparently from some Trollz related cartoon.

Don de esta Corazon- Latin ballad. Why not? Effective chorus, yet again.

Keys to the hummer- AWESOME lyrical hook in chorus. "don't want to be the fun for your summer, just give me the keys to your hummer" Novelty subject matter should have resulted in a hit, I think. Feisty, ultra-simple guitar fill that warms my heart.

Amazing- Maybe their high point. The chorus has a vocal run that is delicate, subtle and irresistible. But listening to this song, you'd think it was not from a band, but a solo pop singer. That's a striking thing about their songs-- each one is dramatically different.

Never Say Never- Enjoyable ripoff of Complicated. Like that song, has fun rhythmic adventures in the verses.

I would appreciate any and all further information about this unusual band that the board can provide.

Resistance is futile (Fergie conquers Kelefa).

that's a great article on fergie ferg - definitely reflects how my initial suspicion about her total WRONGNESS was replaced by the realisation that this wrongness is what makes her great.

Guardian review is interesting in that it makes an ostensibly "popist" criticism (i.e. "why doesn't she just stick to being a popstar instead of trying to express herself")

still haven't got round to the kelly c album, but a lot of the dismissal of it from pop outlets eg popjustice is the same...

In Entertainment Weekly Chris Willman gives Kelly a B plus while noting that "...the disc does lack even half as obvious a smash as "Since U Been Gone." He also says she's "channeling Alanis Morisette by way of the octave spanning Pat Benatar" and "She's not as close to catching up with her songwriting idol, Patti Griffin, as she is to her belter heroine, Benatar." I'm curious about some of the songs Willman likes that he refers to as "lighter pleasures" : electro-pop "One Minute" ; new wave "How I Feel", and funk-rock "Yeah."

right, listening to my december now. three tracks in i was all ready to judge that the backlash was WRONG and a symptom of clarkson having made a really dark, intense, cathartic album in the vein of all those angsty female singer-songwriters (alanis, pj and so on) she'd previously only vaguely nodded at - 'hole' is absolutely brilliant, dave is right. hole should reform to do a song called 'kelly clarkson'.

i'm on 'maybe' now, though and it's all been derailed a bit, it's seemed a bit...aimless. and there's really no variation to her voice here.

I'm glad to see that Kelefa has come to his (non)senses.

But: not turn Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” into a thinly veiled pot-smoking anthem called “Mary Jane Shoes.”

Uh, isn't the song just about the shoes? (I didn't realize what Mary Janes even were until my gf told me -- I thought they must be some sorta designer shoe, what with me knowing nothing about clothing. But I was wrong.)

(PS - WTF KINDERWHORE!)

Lex is right, the album does get kind of tedious around the late middle half -- esp. "Haunted," which is a nice song but it's the first one where you kind of think...she's really not letting up, is she?

But it's funny, "Yeah" and "How I Feel" are incongruous with the rest of it, which makes them stand out, not nec. in a good way. I kind of like that the album is so torturous and unrelenting, would almost have liked it to have been completely intense. But Irvine/Chivas is amazing, perfect last track/bonus track, so she lands the thing pretty well.

Jeez, Hannah Montana OST #2 is a total disaster, has MAYBE three OK songs on it out of two albums (one by Hannah, one by Miley Cyrus). Miley and Hannah are indistinguishable.

I see The Lex's Aly & AJ piece did eventually run in the Gruaniad:

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,,2108154,00.html

If you're signed into Launch Yahoo, here's a link for Bubblin' video by Blue, a Brit boyband from four years ago whom I learned about today on Poptimists. The song's an excellent BSB/*NSync knockoff, basic pretty pretty pretty sweetboy voices with the subterranean push of r&b. This is what the current crop of Disney boys (Corbin Bleu, B5) wishes they sounded like.

Kelly C. is way better than either Griffin or Benatar.

right, listening to my december now. three tracks in i was all ready to judge that the backlash was WRONG and a symptom of clarkson having made a really dark, intense, cathartic album in the vein of all those angsty female singer-songwriters (alanis, pj and so on) she'd previously only vaguely nodded at - 'hole' is absolutely brilliant, dave is right. hole should reform to do a song called 'kelly clarkson'.

OTM. The hop-skip-jump guitars of "One Minute" are my favorite moment. Overall she's committed to the material, but a lot of the sentiments remind me of criticism Jody Rosen aimed at Avril a few months ago: her idea of maturity is therapy-speak, and therapy-streak is monochromatic.

<b>POP'S ORIGINAL NAUGHTY GIRL</b>

AOL: You have to find it funny that the bad-girl image is so the norm now. People forget that you were pop's original naughty girl - at least compared to that goodie two shoes, Debbie Gibson.

TIFFANY: Hahaha. I think Deborah and I were just different people. She was very close to her mother and family and I think that affected us differently. But I loved being the naughty tomboy. I had a lot more fun!

Haven't participated in the Paula DeAnda convos yet as I've kept not remembering what she sounds like other than "r&bish kinda sub-something stuff"; anyway, listening to "Easy," which Lex was loving way upthread and reaffirming his love for more recently and it's reaching me, maybe not quite drawing as much of the emotional aaah from me as JoJo does, but very similar and very good. And like JoJo, Paula doesn't seem to have any particular persona and personality, just another excellent aaah-drawing bit of flesh and voice.

Lil Wayne does a guest verse, which is a pleasant surprise. One hears from him so little these days.

Miley Cyrus has started playing shows double billing herself as Miley and Hannah (wonder if she gets paid twice). Which is, um, interesting, because I don't remember her successfully lip-syncin' her way through two SONGS let alone two SETS. Meanwhile she's got almost a full CD's worth of good material across three albums under two names. So maybe I'll finally buy "The Best of Miley Montana" or something in...what, 2009? How long did it take for "Most Wanted"? ...This new generation is weird.

Kogan A-Twitter For Britters

Also good follow-up here. (Pardon me next week for using an identical framing device.)

And heck, since I posted it there, here's a sneak peek:

[Miranda Lambert] delivers the hilarious preemptive antidote to Paris Hilton’s forthcoming PSA with “Dry Town,” in which she stops at a quickie mart to buy a sixth of Miller and a cupholder so it won’t spill while she’s driving.

What if Paris did her PSA as an after-the-fact Paris B-side!

Don't know if this is ironic or just sad, but why are people putting so MUCH responsibility on Kelly for her songwriting (all co-written with the band and a few others) when they're trying to knock the new album? As if I haven't heard enough idjuts talking about the Svengalis behind "Since U Been Gone" and "Hazel Eyes"? Recent Fluxblog thread isn't long enough, but there are already two (three?) people who are making the bizarro-world standard gripe-claims against Kelly: why didn't she let other people write her songs for her? Why did she bend to the demands of her label? I.e., "I wish she had LESS creative input" and "I wish the mainstream record industry behemoth had MORE control over this." It's a very unusual dismissive position, I think!

Fluxblog thread <a href="http://www.fluxblog.org/2007/06/slowly-sinking-into-something-black.html";>here</a>.

"I feel like being in the spotlight, I have a platform where I can raise awareness for so many great causes and just do so much with this instead of superficial things like going out," Paris said. "I want to help raise money for kids and for breast cancer and multiple sclerosis."

I've nothing against raising money for kids and cancer and MS (well, for kids but against cancer and MS), but... argh!

Something's been beaten down, something's been squelched, something's been defeated.

Nia, upthread:

Paris and Lindsay are too apologetic. Rock stars don't play dumb and then insist they're smart, or confess to eating disorders and then take it all back. Britney comes closest to the kind of iconic, defiant rock stardom you're talking about, Dave, in that she seems to really not give a shit.

The question in regard to the Clive-Kelly thing is which songs would Clive have had her replace? If Clive'd wanted her to replace the five I like least - which surprisingly are the ones that are the most conventionally pop on the album - then he's on the money; whereas if he wanted her to replace the ones I like most, then I'm glad Kelly stood firm.

it's not as if breakaway was such a tour de force of consistency either! i'm down w/ about the same proportion of songs from each.

Why did she bend

Why didn't she bend to the demands, I mean.

I want to know which Lindsay song they shopped to Kelly for the album! Something from RAW. Which is kind of an analogue to December for consistency and heaviness, though there's much more humor in it.

(in)consistency...

There is nothing on the new Clarkson that approaches the greatness of SUBG, Walk Away, Hazel Eyes, or Breakaway. The album suffers from a lack of good hooks and choruses on damn near every song.

Clive was right. It's not a good album.

re: Paris-- The national schadenfreude regarding her has been so repugnant, and her psychological persecution so complete, that it's natural for her to be panicking a little. This is a woman who did not eat or drink because she was concerned-- rightly concerned-- that people would photograph her on the toilet and sell it to tabloids who had made offers for just such disgusting material.

Give her a little time, and I think she'll be telling the world to fuck off once again. I dream that she does it with another album.

"Dry Town" is my favorite on the Miranda Lambert album, which basically dies for me right after "Famous In a Small Town" -- the lyrics of which give me a rash offset by the melody. It revives for a few breaths during the two minutes of "Guilty In Here."

What about the Patty Griffin cover? I think it's great second-to-last (iirc) as a final thrust before it sorta peters out, but I don't know the original "Getting Ready" to compare it to. The one with Jesus in it is kinda hokey in the lyrics but it's a lovely bittersweet tune.

Sneak peek #2, from the same sentence as before: (she) doesn’t make me wanna retch when she goes into brief small-town sentimentality -- what an endorsement!

Clive was waaaaaay off. Whoever said dude's got BLAND TASTE is OTM. Kelly scorches at least 60% of the time! But Miranda does it closer to 70% (plus she has a couple good ballads). And I can get just about every song stuck in my head, though admittedly it took a couple listens to understand how to...y'know, withstand the vocal blows on most of the hooks. It's like diva-core. "Hole" and "Judas" easily demolish "Walk Away" and "Breakaway," and in their own lower-key way might hold their own with her big singles. Like the guerilla warfare to their atomic bomb. (Pardon the metaphor, time for me to go home...)

I'll be a little more emphatic than Frank, maybe. Lanbert's small town shtick does make me wanna retch. However, the beat and melody offset it just enough. And you're probably right about the second last tune. I'll have to give it a few more listens.

Welcome to Doltsville. Skip to the bottom if you don't want the from-the-country discussion.

Ha...those lines are from my column running next week in Stylus, and I linked to another DD post, about the press reception and yeehaw etc. crap w/ Crazy Ex. And how ridiculous it is that reviewers (generally) take Miranda so damn SERIOUSLY but (generally) don't take Kelly SERIOUSLY enough. Like, swap the arguments or something, start talking about Kelly's parents and personal baggage and enjoy Miranda as a collection of well-written pop tunes. Or something.

So I'm doing some playing around with an online keyboard and I realize something interesting: last year we talked a lot about the high E-flat, which was sort of the money note -- usually a bit higher than the crucial note in a given song -- that the performers hit when it's time to crank up a notch. (I forget whether or not Lindsay goes a little higher during the imperceptible key change in "Live for the Day.") The Veronicas hit it twice in "4ever," including demolishing it once toward the end, Ashlee hits it for the first "la" in "La La," Lillix just barely gets to it (or maybe the D or D-flat?) on "Sweet Temptation."

Well, I started checking out some of Kelly Clarkson's new tunes and guess what. First of all, the "money note" is also usually the note hanging on the hook a-hyuk (and there are plenty of hooks on this record, no idea what y'all are talking about). Example: in former Max/Luke tracks, the performer will hit the money note on their WAY to the hook note ("Since U Been Gone" has four money notes above the hook note on "goooooooone") -- this is where the highest note usually happens, on its way to a lower, more comfortable note.

Second, the money note/hook notes on My December are REALLY high. "Hole" is D ("There's a hole!"), "Judas" is D-flat ("I didn't know! I didn't know!"), and on "Haunted" she goes all the way up to the E-flat ("WHERE are you"). This would be like writing an entire song consisting of that one climactic part of "4ever" and sticking it right in the middle of your album (after having "warmed up" to that part on several other tracks!) which might be one reason why it stands out to me as the point where I really start to lose it a little. Doesn't help that it's followed by what might be the worst song on the album, "Be Still."

So I stand by my assertion that the hooks are there, but they're also very draining. They aren't as skillfully constructed as a Max/Luke hook, which has the tension/release pleasure center-pushers down to a science. Or a math. They're a little clumsy, and they just blow the roof off of every single goddamn song. Whcih, again, is part of what I LIKE about this album, I wish she'd followed it through, but as is there's stuff like "Be Still" and "Yeah" and "How I Feel" trying to weirdly take things down a notch, which doesn't suit the momentum at all. You start to realize that the whole thing's a little exhausting.

*woops, didn't finish my money note/hook note example. "Hole" has a chorus with essentially a one-note hook: "There's a hole! Inside of me!" Ditto "Judas," does the same thing with a two-note melody that lets the money note do the heavy lifting: "I didn't KNOW! I didn't KNOW! I couldn't SEE! I couldn't SEE!" and on "Haunted" she does three notes but lands hard on the high E-flat, esp. when it comes time to draw it out: "Wheeeeere aaaaaare yoooou?" The lowest note is still a high C, the "hook note" in "Since U Been Gone" (D-flat is the money note in that one).