100 Reasons Why "Ignition - Remix" Is So Damned Great

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What does this song have in common with the original "Ignition" besides some lyrical similarities, chiefly the really awful "stick my key in the ignition" vagina/woman = car thing? How is a completely different song on every level a remix?

You have to hear the two side by side on the album for it to really click.

Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:11 (10 years ago) Permalink

Are there any other similarly great songs on Chocolate Factory?

The only R Kelly album which I own is the record with Jay-Z, which has some fantastic stuff on it, "Honey" and "Shake Yo Body" in particular.

Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:34 (10 years ago) Permalink

"Murder She Wrote" = Chaka Demus & Pliers dancehall hit from early '90s. There's your reggae link John D.

There's also the whole "I'm-a murder that coochie" vibe there that is mighty distasteful if you think about it much but who's thinking? To think is not TO DO. And that's ALL he wants to do.

Neudonym, Monday, 16 June 2003 03:25 (10 years ago) Permalink

Are there any other similarly great songs on Chocolate Factory?

The title track and "Snake" are pretty great, but the album, on the whole, is unremarkable.

Colin Beckett (Colin Beckett), Monday, 16 June 2003 03:36 (10 years ago) Permalink

Does anyone here remember "You Remind Me of My Jeep" from like three or so R Kelly records ago? Similar idea to "let me stick my key in the ignition" but far more ridiculous.

sammy, Monday, 16 June 2003 04:28 (10 years ago) Permalink

112) He starts with an apology: "I'm not tryin' to be rude..."

113) How slow is this damn song? You can't mix it with anything. The party slows down like bullet time when the man walks in.

114) Said party is suspiciously like a gender-segregated seventh grade dance: fellas on the left, honeys on the right. The ringmaster's job is to bring them together.

115) Stretch Navigator...yes, a simple Navigator isn't enough to contain this party; however, all overt bling (Cristal, Nav) is strictly throwaway in the verses. The important stuff is in the chorus. Toot toot.

116) *Freakin'?* Who says freakin'? It's like he just finished watching Goodfellas and Casino on broadcast television before he wrote the chorus.

r. geary (rgeary), Monday, 16 June 2003 04:34 (10 years ago) Permalink

I got so hooked. I think I listened to this song 100 times today.

s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 16 June 2003 05:19 (10 years ago) Permalink

that chorus is like crack

s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 16 June 2003 05:20 (10 years ago) Permalink

i like his fat mate doing the bouncy hand gestures behind him in the bit with the shelf of bottles - why he there ?

the nerdy clothing jewellery mix, the crouchy dance, that video is great.

he doesn't have a fro in the vid = it's all about the wanting/ the dreaming, ever been at a cool party but thought damn..if only (x) would happen this would be a McCutchian perfect moment.

s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Monday, 16 June 2003 06:37 (10 years ago) Permalink

117. It has saved ILM!

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 07:00 (10 years ago) Permalink

118. The way the chorus sounds totally wistful for an as-yet-happening present ('the weekend' is here!)

119. As noted by Tim F, the fronthanded backhandedness of the bawdy insinuation of those kick drums.

Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:22 (10 years ago) Permalink

113) How slow is this damn song? You can't mix it with anything. The party slows down like bullet time when the man walks in

There was a spot on the Saturday Show at the weekend where one of Blazing Squad was dj-ing, mixing it with garage. Sounded great.

David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:39 (10 years ago) Permalink

There's a much faster garagey mix doing the rounds, I hear it a lot in shops. I don't like it, though.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:45 (10 years ago) Permalink

The Blazing Squad guy was just mixing a garage record over the R. Kelly at what sounded pretty much like its original speed. Not sure what the bpm of the R. Kelly is but it's very slow so it might well be an almost exact half of a typical garage tempo, say 140->70.

David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:55 (10 years ago) Permalink

120. OK, this far in, and STILL no one has mentioned the best part of the song - the sing-song back-and-forth at the very end of the song, in which R. Kelly trades lines with, um, R. Kelly.

121. Also, I have to reiterate: "And after the show, it's the afterparty/And after the party it's the hotel lobby/'Round about 4 you gotta clear the lobby/And take it to your room and ___ somebody."

NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:30 (10 years ago) Permalink

This song is seriously one of the worst things on the radio right now. Worse than A Simple Plan. Worse than the new Live single. Worse than the enervated, uninvolving Black Eyed Peas/JT single. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever and every time it comes on the radio I always want to beat R Kelly about the head and shoulders with a bat for the intervening seconds it takes for me to lunge across the room and switch the station.

The beat is horrible. There's no meat or presence to it whatsoever. It doesn't even try to work a mellow groove; it just sits there and farts along like a senile gassy grandmother. R Kelly's singing cadence is HELLA ANNOYING in this song; it's like he's doing a Wierd Al parody of himself with every vestige of humor carefully excised with surgical precision. The song itself is dumb even by R. Kelly standards; the robo-delivery highlights this in the worst possible way.

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE IT HAS THE WORST CHORUS ON THE RADIO. Even Eminem's deeply-embarassing yelping in "Sing For The Moment" is better than this shit. Also, for such an allegedly-catchy song I'm having a really difficult time remembering how it goes.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:43 (10 years ago) Permalink

dan perry read the instructions!

minna (minna), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:06 (10 years ago) Permalink

i made a thread POX: r kelly

minna (minna), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:10 (10 years ago) Permalink

I resisted this thread as long as I could but in the end I had to say something.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:12 (10 years ago) Permalink

no you didn't

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:21 (10 years ago) Permalink

yeah, i am fucking sick of that shit

jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:25 (10 years ago) Permalink

at least ned hasn't heard the song so we don't have to sit through another of one of his hilarious timberlake-eminem style "jokes"

jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:25 (10 years ago) Permalink

bit on the emo side today are we jess

(kidding kidding please don't yell at me)

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:31 (10 years ago) Permalink

I sense bitterness.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:33 (10 years ago) Permalink

I had to say something

no you didn't

There's no law against him intruding into 'your' thread. I like it when people ignore the petty strictures of thread makers. You can always edit out his comment when/if you revise your web page if you think it spoils the 'momentum' (oh and because his post didn't have a number, let's not forget that).

David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:33 (10 years ago) Permalink

bit on the emo side today are we David

(not actually kidding, my response to Dan was in the spirit fun, not the fun-free dour game yer bringin' - also, this stopped being my thread at #100 if not before, and I uploaded last night)

(ps please number your contributions, thanks)

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:37 (10 years ago) Permalink

I said if you update it. Some of the numbered posts above 100 are a lot better than some of the earlier ones.

David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:40 (10 years ago) Permalink

Once I saw the thread had gone up on the website I felt much less guilt about saying something. Then I thought to myself, "Why the hell should I feel guilt about expressing my feelings on this song?"

In the spirit of the thread I'll say one positive thing:

122. The song doesn't go on for 20 minutes.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:45 (10 years ago) Permalink

123) The "check it out!" - we're having fun in the verses, but here comes that chorus again!

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:46 (10 years ago) Permalink

The song doesn't go on for 20 minutes.

124) but the version I just finished putting together in AcidPro does and is winging its way toward your inbox even as we speak

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:48 (10 years ago) Permalink

125) just kidding

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:49 (10 years ago) Permalink

126. The song inspires much Darn1elle comedy at my expense.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:51 (10 years ago) Permalink

127) music makes the people come together

jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:52 (10 years ago) Permalink

128) Dan you know I love you & besides anything I ever say against you is only 'cause I'm jealous that you've got a harvard.edu address

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:55 (10 years ago) Permalink

129) not actually being sarcastic there, neither

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:55 (10 years ago) Permalink

Time for the '100 Reasons the '100 Reasons' Thread Is So Damned Great' thread --

*Jess beats Ned down*

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:56 (10 years ago) Permalink

128. I mean, freakin weekend? finally. Like so what I'm drunk. I just had some shitty time, around tuesday, there was like one thousand plus people outside the courthouse and I thought, oh um, damn, and how can I get outta this, am I getting outta this. Wednesday afternoon a fed ex came, fed-exed, saw a copy of the videotape, why did I make that goddamn videotape, and it was hot, but, you know. why. and thursday met with lawyers, whole team of them bleedin me dry, goddamn, they bleedin me dry, and will get me off, will get me off. and friday the deposition did not go well DID NOT GO WELL, so I came home and ironed creases into my jeans and popped in a 5 carat stone into my ear ($50,000), and hit the ride, and hit the poolside, and hit the coke and rum, and hit the bitches (remind me of my Lexus), and hit the bar, and now here I am in the lobby, and oh yeah like so what I'm drunk.

scott m (mcd), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:13 (10 years ago) Permalink

130) that drum, that drum, dear god that drum. Everything dance music has to teach (soul) about quickening the pulse, in one second.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:16 (10 years ago) Permalink

131. What drum? THERE IS NO DRUM; this is one of my main gripes with the song.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:18 (10 years ago) Permalink

132) Scott that was so, so good, God bless you

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:20 (10 years ago) Permalink

133) "we just thuggin this out", as blatantly false a statement as you are likely to find this year.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:22 (10 years ago) Permalink

134) and where, exactly, are we just thuggin' this out? oh yeah: "on the reeeeemix"

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:26 (10 years ago) Permalink

Also, for such an allegedly-catchy song I'm having a really difficult time remembering how it goes.

134. I haven't heard this song in a few weeks (I want to listen to it now!) but reading through this thread brings the whole beautiful thing back. (Also, as someone who's only recently started listening to Top 40 radio again, that's how I knew it was a good song: after I heard it once, it was in my head all the damn time.)

135. I was just singing it a few minutes ago with a 21-year-old African-American girl I work with. She sang most of it; I did some bass harmony on "after party" and "hotel lobby."

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:26 (10 years ago) Permalink

...this thread IS meant as a sarcastic joke, isn't it...? Isn't it?

Sheesh - the wit, wonder and wisdom of R Kelly?

Please..........

russ t, Monday, 16 June 2003 14:28 (10 years ago) Permalink

137) "we just thuggin this out" is 2003's "dancin, yeah, real hardcore" from the dodger's "rewind"...hardman sentiments pressed into the service of the soppiest mid-tempo fluff of the year, crooned in ultra-sucrose swingbeat style

jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:28 (10 years ago) Permalink

What drum?

138. (oh alright then). Dan he means (I think) those periodic beefy snare rolls that, as well as giving an exciting lift at various points, also serve to fill in the gap between 'and' and 'somebody' on the last line of the last verse).

David (David), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:30 (10 years ago) Permalink

139) the same subtle dancehall inflection informs both kelly's vocal on this track and c david's on "rewind"...coincidence?

jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:32 (10 years ago) Permalink

140) also, "rewind" had the benefit of being one of the first "out front" singles of a New! Now! genre...kelly's single is a total genre-exercise (on the surface, anyway) making his victory that much sweeter, since he's not got the subtly-avant-garde/underground angle to work

jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:35 (10 years ago) Permalink

I'd be delighted if this format were adopted for other great singles, you know.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:37 (10 years ago) Permalink

141) also the drum repeat (not snares) in the murder she wrote verse. The first lines have no drums, so the next two are doubled.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:38 (10 years ago) Permalink


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