Being sexually attracted to (or repulsed by) certain racial types: the acceptable face of racism?

Not so!!! I ain't hatin' on you playa!~ It's just a pet peeve, sorry if I overreacted. People throw the racism card around a little too freely, in my opin. We can't help our feelings, although with time and experience, the lucky ones may be able to change them. We can't make ourselves like or love or respect people we don't love, even if it's based on something like ethnicity. It's a shame, but it's not a crime. I think racism is what happens when you act on those feelings to deny people access to things they have an inherent right to, like housing or employment or access to commercial establishments and the like. No one has a right to my love or respect or lust even. It's a shallow person who defines things so categorically, perhaps, I don't find white women attractive, or something like that, sure. But it's not racist. There has to be a distinction between criminal behavior--which I think racism is--and unfortunate narrow-mindedness. That's all I mean. But in the case of someone who says, as you quote, I don't find Asian women attractive, while not necessarily racist, gives one pause to think he might also be racist in behavior. That could well be.

Especially when it comes to feelings and attraction... i mean - it's naturally such a subjective thing, anyway (like haw haw the way the girls all have the hots for me just because i'm so pretty etc.) - you'd file a lawsuit if someone doesn't give you a job because you're ugly!!

But I digress, of course, noone has the right to anybody's love or feelings - however, when things become so catagorical like someone saying "i don't find <race> attractive", implying that the race is the deciding factor in attractiveness. Well, of course i wouldn't put this person to jail and i can understand how thoughts like this could come about, it's not even necessarily "right" or "wrong" (love is a feeling), but i would certainly classify it as a racist thought.

on a similar vein i'm an utter sexist when it comes to attraction. haha yes, i like the sex bit.

I'm still interested that it seems acceptable to say: "I'm attracted to black men." but it's not acceptable to say: "I don't find black men attractive."

it's ok to say "i'm attracted to black men" sure, but probably not to say "i'm ONLY attracted to black men".

Pip pip!

xpost

see my post earlier. it is racist to only be attracted to one race, but it's not something that would get you into jail.

But then consider people like Strom Thurman, an institutional racist who found black people attractive, fucked them, and had kids with them. Then as legislator tried to fuck them again metaphorically. Or J. Edgar Hoover who was a notorious persecutor of gays and then was of course gay himself.

No, I'm sorry, I think there has to be a very tight definition. You have a right to a job but no right to be thought of as attractive.

Why would anyone find a certain 'race' unattractive? All of them seem to have plenty of attractive people in my experience. I wish there weren't so many goddamn white people everywhere here though, ya know.

No, "political" ideas about race stem from basically the same material as interpersonal ideas about race -- cultural influence, family influence, personal experience, all the usual shit that shapes people's worldviews. If there's a distinction between them, it's this: we can put intellectual checks on our "political" ideas about race. They matter in our opinions about the world and in the way we treat people, so when we recognize racism in our thinking, we can use our big old brains to try and quash it. Our genitals are more complicated. For one thing, they're not out in the open; chances are we'll never really have to investigate why we're attracted to the people we're attracted to, and the mechanics of the thing are so closed-off and mysterious to us that we probably wouldn't get very far even if we tried. More importantly, it's really hard to override our attractions with logic and intellect.

So yeah ... who we're attracted to is just as bound up in our ideas about race as anything else. And yeah, there's gonna be mild or complex racism in that, as there is in anything. There's a reason we don't go around hassling people about that, though, and the reason is that it matters very little. It doesn't deny people jobs or housing; it probably won't affect how you vote; it probably won't affect how you treat people -- it's limited to the sphere of your personal life, and so it's entirely, entirely your own business. Your business, like everyone else's, is going to be affected by complicated ideas about race, yes, but in most cases that's between you and your own brain.

And remember that this is true of loads of things having nothing to do with race. Everything affects our romantic life, good and bad. The way you think about sex can be influenced by the model of your happy parents or by having been sexually abused as a child. It's all in there, and it's pretty much up to individuals to sort out how to deal with it -- what's "right" and what's "wrong," what's "healthy" and what's not, what's worth trying to change and what's not.

And please for god's sake let's not pretend racism is any less complicated than that -- this idea that racism is some kind of "conscious decision" wherein people decide to totally hate some group is just completely unreal. It's as complicated and semi-conscious as anything else in our heads, and it's way less about some sort of decided "hate" than it is about little ideas and preconceptions and tiny chunks of worldview.

i'm OTM in case nobody noticed

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), April 13th, 2004 7:35 AM.

-- the (logica...), April 19th, 2004.

Exactly. Am I sexist because I am only attracted to one sex ?

what of people who are attracted to those who look like themselves (not just generally but specifically)? how many of us does this describe? are they racist if they're vain/narcissistic (primarily auto-erotic?) in the first instance?

He starts well by making a culturalist case, and saying that racism is present in all situations. But then he spoils his point a bit by saying "it's pretty much up to individuals to sort out how to deal with it"... as if there were a place where individuals could step outside of all that cultural stuff he's just described, or as if there weren't also group solutions, cultural solutions, political solutions (legislation, changing social mores, being John and Yoko and posing naked together on an album sleeve, etc).