pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

pitchforks say oneida in north carolina the 21st

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/50720-oneida-turn-iweddingi-lp-into-live-spectacle-tour

terrastock says oneida's at the fest the 21st

http://www.terrascope.co.uk/Terrastock7/Terrastock7_performers.htm

what is wrong, pitchforks?

today's two main reviews:

Bun B - II Trill - Rating: 7.7 -------------------- Recommended

Steinski - What Does It All Mean? - Rating: 8.7 ----- Not Recommended

...
..
.

????????????!??!?!?!?!!

If the Recommended or Best New Music tags were STRICTLY a function of the ratings, there wouldn't be any reason to have them.

It does say Terrastock on the 21st...of June. Winston-Salem, N.C. is the 21st of August.

Nabisco's right, but in addition to that compilations/archive releases/reissues of older material, etc., don't get those tags. (The other one being "Best New Music" and all.) There have been a few exceptions for collections of recent-ish 7"/12"-type material that most readers wouldn't have been previously familiar with (this was really stretched for the Braxe comp) but that Steinski is a collection of material from the past three decades, so...

good point Scott (i realized it was a comp. after i actually read the review, duhhh)

why does pitchfork writers never want to bob their heads to trip hop?

i would like to see a 5.8 rated album get a "Recommended"

why do you guys bother reviewing albums by your own writers if every single one gets b/w 7.5-7.7

Ta-da.

why do you guys bother reviewing albums by your own writers if every single one gets b/w 7.5-7.7

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/50523-supreme-balloon

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/50868-dominique-leone

Close but not quite:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/43468-arms-down
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/18319-geography-cones

what did rollie pemberton get

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/16509-cadence-weapon-is-the-black-hand?artist_title=16509-cadence-weapon-is-the-black-hand

I like Festival.

Not sure if it belongs in this thread (could be classic or dud)... it's known that music journalists often don't listen to records enough to make a true judgment, if at all (see: Black Crowes/Maxim)... but I rather like this admission from Scottpl. in his Pfork review of the new Radiohead best of:

The packaging is merely a few promo photos and a long essay I didn't read (sorry).

C/D?

nonfamous local chicago bands almost always ratings between like 6 and 8 also, guessing they don't want to offend

from the Notwist review today:

Acher provides a candid glimpse into a troubled marriage by describing it in terms of the material goods used to prop it up-- "I remember good lies/ When we carried them home with us/ To our bedside tables and the coffee sets"-- thereby keenly drawing parallels between dysfunctional relationships and the IKEA-furnished apartments that house them: the cool surface appearances barely concealing the soul-deadening sterility.

Yeah, the SQUARES are all, like, ROBOTS, man!1!!

METRIC, Grow Up and Blow Away
In fact, Metric's songs are often characterized by a commercial sheen-- they're smart little packets that, even as anti-consumerism screeds, have a compact luster that makes you feel like getting online to price experimental shelving units from Ikea or browsing all-over print hoodies at H&M.

THE RADIO DEPT., Pet Grief
Their second album, Pet Grief, is stacked with syrupy pop songs, as Johan Duncanson's effortless vocals ride the crest of soft-focus synths and programmed drums. But too often, the songs come off like the sonic equivalent of IKEA furniture: highly functional, sleekly designed, and sterile.

TORTOISE, It's All Around You
More frustrating, however, is that, after the scrappy Standards, where Parker spiked the mix with sparks and grime, Tortoise have pressed their music back into Scandinavian furniture. Cold Ikea percussion frames hold downy white duvets of keyboards, the music sterile and functional.

MORCHEEBA, Charango
The Sire execs saw to it that all elements of darkness, ethereality and-- gasp in shock here-- black soul were quickly and efficiently excised from the mix, to be replaced by the most predictable, glossy surface settings this side of IKEA.

use other stores, please

lol

by 5 different writers?!

Did you guys know that IKEA is a furniture store that is popular in urban and developing urban areas that has some hip appeal due to its distinct european charm and a low price that leads to its use in the homes of those who are young and aspiring to that aesthetic?

The frequent usage makes sense, though: "IKEA" is a single word that carries a whole host of connotations, many of which are relevant and appropriate when also describing music.

Cold Ikea percussion frames hold downy white duvets of keyboards, the music sterile and functional

this sucks, though^

this sucks less

Cold percussion frames the keyboards, the music sterile and functional

That Tortoise one is very strained, I agree.

gah i hate lofty-minded writers. everyone should write like a mix between hemingway and a 40s beat reporter.

Haha that Tortoise one is BRENT D who I haven't thought about in years. What a goof that dude was.

He writes for Time Out Chicago now, so I still see his byline almost every week.

deja vu

Did I mention that last night?

haha yes

gah i hate lofty-minded writers. everyone should write like a mix between hemingway and a 40s beat reporter.

-- Granny Dainger, Thursday, June 19, 2008 9:18 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

are IKEA references your idea of lofty writing?

why do ppl hate on ikea so much? it's like if you don't have a lot of dough and just need a dresser or coffee table that looks decent enough it's not a bad place

no this is though: Cold Ikea percussion frames hold downy white duvets of keyboards, the music sterile and functional
xpost

i only hate on IKEA when it's used in figurative language in association with a music review

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/7/2008/03/ikea3.JPG

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fe/F0322403au9.jpg

i only hate on IKEA when it's used in figurative language in association with a music review

THIS ^^^

i hate on ikea cause its a horrible place to be inside

this one dude i saw on the news had been waiting on the street for two days to get into the red hook ikea to get free furniture

http://weblogs.amny.com/entertainment/urbanite/blog/line.jpg

it was crazy

The only way you could compare music to IKEA would be if, say, the download cost you $.99, but then you had to pay another $.10 to load it into your iPod, another $.10 to put it in a playlist, $.50 for the metadata, another $.50 for the album art, etc...

You gotta love a business model that sells you the table separately from the legs. Genius.

more like you have to buy percussion separately.

"hi hats are an extra .10"

exactly! i guess that's sort of the radiohead model for those remixes stems, no? i wonder how many of the contest remixers scrimped and didn't buy, say, the bass.

Isn't it good? Scandanavian wood

What's odd is that the music review references to Ikea always make the furniture sound more glossy and professional and, well, sturdy than it actually is.

Like, the real IKEA pop would be Robyn - not because she's from Scandanavia, but because there's that same sense of rickety el cheapo construction aspiring to ape the high-tech and high-cost fashions of the day.

This is just what happens when the generation who watched Fight Club too many times during adolescence grows up and becomes music writers.

(I know because I am part of that generation)

You gotta love a business model that sells you the table separately from the legs. Genius.

That's great because you can choose what color legs to go with what color table!