I am drunk

FTR, no hangover, just odd balance.

Ned, I like being a lightweight. If I survive the Vomit Launch - sorry, I mean Picnic In The Sky - I shall consider it a kind of baptism for atheists.

Beer is vile because it gives me two-day headaches and and most pint- drinking men I know get their eunuch handles by age 25 because of it.

Never works, tho.

He always struck me as far too vain to live with being a baldie for very long...

Thanks for the information Suzy, it more than makes up for me having to relive my childhood traumas by mentioning midwestern girls with feather-cuts and forenza sweaters.

TRANSPLANTILLAZ!

Can't wait to see him at the next showbiz soiree. "Hiya D, are you on drugsImeanPLUGS?"

Like deep fried cheese curds with ketchup, a Minnesota classic.

No, it's more a case of trying to forget! The scary thing is, I still see this hairstyle (though admittedly it's a rare occaison) once in awhile. Minnesota has nothing on Michigan in this department.

Perhaps Damon can fashion his newfound hair into a Claw. It would be the most original thing he has ever done.

WTF? drunk

And what a drunk thread to revive as well.

How did stet manage to register a new email address/username while drunk? I had to retype those unclear fuzzy letters twice already and that was when I was sober!

It is a special Scottish talent. (That or he planned it in advance.)

stet is king of ilx, he can do anything!

(how come Ned the king of "we've done this already, lock thread, post here plz" used to be "nah, doesn't matter that we've done this before, bring on teh new threads"? What a weird and different world it must have been in 2001)

I am mildly tipsy, so I get to post here

how come Ned the king of "we've done this already, lock thread, post here plz" used to be "nah, doesn't matter that we've done this before, bring on teh new threads"?

9/11 changed everything.

we've done this already, lock thread, post here plz

o wiat, no am drunk, didn't mean it!

I might be buzzed after this beer. But then the headache I've had all day might prevent that from happening. My guy has gone out for the night. I'm alone with some freshly made salsa and COPS reruns.

I have no salsa, nor TV, nor guy. Hmm.

:(

What happened to your drunk login?

it's still here, have you fixed teh headache? i recommend getting teh drunkk

It's getting a little better. I want to try to write but the more beers I have the worse. Also getting drunk solo is sort of teh lame.

Also getting drunk solo is sort of teh lame.

Naw, it's teh fun!

haha, well I've been plenty lame in my life. . .Also I would like to be able to roffle at my guy when he's hungover in the morning which obv won't happen if I'm also hungover.

One of the nation's largest motorcycle rally's is in town tonight. He went downtown to meet his biker friend and observe the debauchery. And now COPS is over. :(

Oh now it's on a different channel! hurrah!

Have they pulled a skinny guy out from under a couch yet?

nah, but they pulled one dude over and kept telling him to keep his hand on the wheel and he didn't and they pepper sprayed him in the face and he took off! It astounds me how dumb people are. Now they are doing a sting on people buying weed. lame.

this salsa is hot hot hot

i am nder teh couch

I trust you are using wireless.

lol lol

i'm posting now but getting drunk in a minute, is that allowed?

Best to pass out in a place where you'll be safe from earthquakes. Smart!

will you keep posting once you are drunk?

Stet, what have you been drinking?

alright, Im getting more drink. this salsa's too damn hot. The pistons are up by 1.

Surmounter, I hope it's allowed b/c that's where I am too.

1. Brush teeth.
2. Get drunk.

yes i'll keep posting drunk... i'm thinking, vodka =P i've been on a brown kick but not tonite

i'm running to the store for fruit first tho. summer = fruit

I can't drink liquor. Except for tequila.

I'm not drunk yet. But it is hot enough for gin & tonic and I think we have some limes somewhere. And Mr. Jaq wants to watch a Sex Pistols documentary, so g&t will be just the thing.

I have been drinking aftershock and vodka shots. Is drunk making

I considered running to the store for more club soda, but since I'd already made my drink I changed my mind. I can switch to beer if necessary. (Hi Jaq!)

well, i will soon! thanks. night friend.

c ya.

A woooooooo

i drank a lot of wine tonight. whoopee!

welp. in keeping with my effort to get drunk every single day and humiliate myself, here is the concluding paragraph of a paper i submitted a few hours ago. (i am drunk as usual, and do not understand why i am doing this. i hope that it entertains someone?)

i only post it because i am really pissed at myself about it. this is the first time that i have ever written gibberish in a paper. i mean, i kind of just gave up by the time i got to the end. i mean, i know what it means, but, it is useless. i hope i get an f.

Chronological records of events do not exist for all histories, especially social ones. A single representation of an history or identity is simply not enough in most cases, and even if we must rely upon several partial histories of events or identities, these added representations still serve to give more narrative coherence to the chronicle. In Regeneration, some representations are given form and body in characters that are loosely historically based, while other representations are based upon entirely fictional characters that serve only to inspire the historical imagination. Whether through the eyes of the historical Siegfried Sassoon, or through those of the fictional Billy Prior, it is useful to view WWI and the postwar experience from the perspective of either character. The characters in Pat Barker’s Regeneration create new frameworks of memory within which we can re-imagine, reinterpret, and more accurately remember World War I and its long lasting effects.

also, sometimes i want to drop out of school and become a fucking artist.*

*i am drunk, by the way.

also: "an history". it's a british thing, but the prof. is british! also, just, drunk, and posting this shit to embarrass myself so i don't ever write anything so shitty again.

you're an undergrad right? you'll probably get an A.

like, that is just a simple, true statement -- it's useful to consider multiple firsthand perspectives because an objective, external view onto history is impossible, a chimera -- dragged out over a paragraph, which is what academic writing (often) is.

This paper will probably be checked vs. google for plagiarism and your professor will be reading your posts now.

duuude

don't make boy slayer paranoid that won't happen

This paper will probably be checked vs. google for plagiarism and your professor will be reading your posts now.

― touch. zing touch. you've almost convinced me I'm real (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, August 9, 2013 7:02 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

whoah. ummm. i should... contact a mod to take it down?

maybe in the morning, i guess. hi, prof. 1SR@3l. now you know i'm a street freak!

I am at the bar alone, again. why won't anyone talk to me?

anyway. . . what a fucked up summer. god. I scared myself there. I love/lurrrve my new apartment, though.

I'm about to ask the bartender for the strongest drink. I hope I make it home safely.

this should be easy for me. I should be able to meet people here. I can't. I have found that my looks mean basically noti

I have found that my looks mean basically nothing. I wish they did. I can't connect. I'm sitting in the corner at the blue Lep at A2 pretending to do something important on my phone. but, I'm just going to drink hard and buy an expensive cab.

the bartender looks at me and I politely nod like I'm in class, lol

thank you ILX, for being generally kind and accepting. I just wish I could connect with someone. fucking Christ. motherfuckers are screaming something about UM against note"re dame. WHO FUCKING CARES? I just care about civilizations upon which our current humanity relies upon. Forget the west. Learn about the northern song, mofos.

so, I'm in a bar, yeah.

hi dayo

I love Barack Obama. I admit it. I'm a fascist. I love him. I keep dropping my cash everywhere.

boy_slayer wrote this on thread I am drunk on board I Love Everything on September 5, 2013

I am dayo

Lincoln, LBJ, Obama.

I'm a history major at The University of Michigan. I love Barack Obama. I am drunk, but I love him. I am very poor; and would rather not specifically explain the ways in which he has helped my family (well, summer pell grants, for one).

seasick, yet still docked

(it's a drunk thread, carne asda. where'd you go to school? comm college, I presume...? good luck, you little jerk.

anyway, and in conversing with actually educated and worthwhile people... what the fuck is up? let's get drunk. smarties

I say this as a former self-medicating lonely college barfly: take care of yourself, man.

why don't they deliver?

i'll be nicer now.

http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG

ah hey, like what you've done with the place. gotta go - it's like i walked into the wrong bar or something. bleurgh.

good luck to all. so long, buddies (and assholes).

(always meant to pm treeship for consoling me a lot, um, well - thank you now)

gotta get the hell outta here. bye.

i might have killed myself, last summer, were it not for Treeship being nice to me and talking me down on at least two specific nights. Someone please pass that along to him/her.

Interpret that however you'd like. I know that my life isn't worth living, and I'm drunk, and having a rough night. Treeship is a genuinely great person. My life isn't worth living, blah. I gotta go. More drinks left. Need to pass out by three, wake up by ten, prepare for a presentation at two.

The way I feel about ILX = "Your Love" by Jamie Principle. I've been here since 2004, but not lately. Need to at least get back to lurking on ILM. So long, motherfuckers. Much love. Goodnight, now.

16 minutes

sup boyslayer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2zs1ggDjIU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIBBFJqlnIk

whatever happened to allyzay?

I'm on my 14th beer of the night, and I"m just getting started. Come at me, motherfuckers! hahahahahahah

I kind of wish I got hangovers, because it would make drinking like this way less appealing. Don't follow my example, kids.