Rate the people sitting across or next to you on public transport

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onimo? is that you?

― blueski, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 11:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

Quiet at the back, I'm trying to listen to this geezer's mobile phone.

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 11:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

you guys get wifi on buses?

― ken c, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

I was actually on a train, Birmingham New Street to London Euston.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

The ridiculously good looking tall blonde girl who got on the bus yesterday - the kind who makes you feel like you ought to top yourself or risk never being able to get it up again with another woman as long as you live so you may as well just become a eunuch or something... 0/10

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

"Are you all on the same bus?"

Guy with straw-like hair = G-Kit????

Chinese lady screaming on phone next to me. I turned to her and said:"Can I twist your nose a little bit to turn up the volume? Then you don't have to use the phone to call yr mum in Beijing."

― nathalie, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

What do you mean I didn't validate my oyster?

― Sarah, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

The sort of overweight Swampyish-looking guy on the train who was scrawling what looked like quasi-religious nonsense over each column of a colour supplement in fat purple marker - 6/10

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

The quite attractive girl who was sort of chatting me up the other day in the pub but now on the train looked a bit like she ought to be on an episode of the Office as one of the acountants who don't say anything - well you were nice to me in the pub so 7/10.

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

Plus I probably looked worse.

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

Woman downstairs somewhere on 171 berating every single passenger on the bus at punishing length for blocking doors, dithering and generally being in the way, and subsequently bollocking entire family on pavement for not crossing the road at a designated place: 8/10, +1 for subsequently turning out to be the driver

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

old man on 185 who pushed Jamaican mum and kids out of the way saying "i'm fucking disabled" and then grumbling at me about how "they think they own the place", resulting in a sweary argument and me calling old man a racist prick, 0/10. you will die soon.

― stevie, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 12:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

;_;

― lfam, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

i don't miss public transit

― lfam, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

go on stevie!

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

passed-out tramp on 38 whose stench forced evacuation of bus somewhere around angel, 1/10 (one point for anecdotal value)

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

Old boy and old girl who didn't appear to have met before having a loud conversation across the bus about how one goes about getting cataracts removed - 9/10

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

young dude sitting opposite me on the 57 last night, who smelt like he'd pissed himself. 0/10

― stevie, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

15-yr-old boy skiving school striking up conversation with 15-yr-old-girl on back seat also skiving school, about skiving school, during which it became apparent that they didn't know each other, and ten minutes into which he asked for her number: 9/10

15-yr-old girl who casually gave her number out and then, as the boy got off the bus and bid adieu with the words "I'll see you around", rebuffed him with "Yeah. Right. And that was my boyfriend's number": 10/10

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

this was on the 277

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

this is a spectacular thread idea, too bad i walk everywhere

― Maria, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

xpost that last one was great

― Maria, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 13:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

Morbidly obese woman who held up an entire Tube train for 10mins a week or so after forcing her way rudely through the doors past a crowd of people, then ringing the alarm and accusing a poor bloke trying to get past her, shouting "CALL THE POLICE, HE TOUCHED MY MONKEY!", while the dude was trying to get to the airport and incidentally holding a suitcase in each hand: -10/10

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

Aren't the schools on holiday this week? Maybe they've been skiving school so long they don't know when they're not meant to be there.

― onimo, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

oh that was ages ago, it was just too good to forget

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

also ages ago:

the three schoolgirls who were singing 'gold digger' in rounds (ie two harmonising on the sample and one rapping, swapping roles for each verse): 1000000000000/10

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

I would like to ride the bus with those girls.

I just get high-schoolers who half-heartedly relive classics like "Gettin' some head, get get gettin' some head." 0/10

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

Is that a song, or are they actually gettin' some head? 0/10 for class but quite a lot more than that for envy.

― Mark C, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

Too much information.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

it is a song by shawnna. i like it but it's not as good as 'shake dat shit'

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

If there have been young people actually getting head on the bus I've gratefully missed it.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

The scarey wild-eyed skinheads who stood on the platform drinking Wifebeater and spitting everywhere at 4:30pm, who when confronted by a large crowd of people trying to get off the train they were so hurriedly trying to board yelled out at a random alighter - "OI MANNERS MATE - MANNERS!" - 3/10

― the next grozart, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

talking of which, girl who tried to give me head on back seat of bus 7/10 (i already knew her)

self who was too embarrassed 0/10

― 600, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 14:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

15-yr-old-looking girl in an Air Force ROTC uniform smacking her toddler on the head and yelling "get your ass off the bus" when we reach the high school, 0/10

Older hippie woman who scrambles out of the two seats her bag and electric bike battery require in order to give them to other people when we are within two stops of hers, 9/10

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 16:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

i can't stand people who leave their bags on seats when trains/buses are busy. its like they are daring people to make them be considerate.

i don't feel remotely proud about the above altercation, shouting at old cripples isn't really my style, even if they deserve it.

― stevie, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 16:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

Man I ride the bus with every morning and who sounds like he has tuberculosis used to be 0/10 when I thought he was just odd and gross. After seeing him this weekend parading along Main Street wearing a gold crown and not one but two read capes? At least a 9/10.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

oops - Meant read capes, obviously.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

girl who tried to give me head on back seat of bus 7/10

i think we just found ilx's russian judge

― ^@^, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

Woman with whom I got into an altercation with last year after I accidentally bumped into her because she stopped short in the aisle? 0/10 The crazy old bat lost her shit, started screaming profanities at me, PUSHED ME and the got right up in my face and wouldn't let me off the bus. It was so horrible I started crying right then and there and the bus driver asked if I wanted to call the police. Here's the kicker, when I got off the bus she CHASED ME DOWN THE STREET! I realize she is mentally ill but still, she scares me. The worst part is that I still have to ride the bus with her nearly every morning. Luckily she's too far gone to recognize me or remember the incident.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

50-ish dude who rocks out to his i-pod, wears amazing earrings, and actually owns both a fur coat and one of those big tall furry hats but yet isn't Russian? 10/10. I think I love him.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

Michael Bloomberg: 6/10

― gabbneb, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

j/k

― gabbneb, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

man who looks 60 but is probably 40, on the 37 every morning with boxing gloves slung over his shoulder dancing in his seat to the r&b bleeding out of his headphones: 7/10

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

Guy with dyed black hair in a ponytail and Devil's goatee who obviously fancied himself as some kinda sinister-yet-charismatic leader but had his powers somewhat diminished by the box of donuts he was carrying: 5/10

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 9 July 2007 08:49 (5 years ago) Permalink

Four-year-old kid in old England away shirt who smelled strongly of shit and spilled some Volvic over me: 3/10

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 9 July 2007 08:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

talking of which, girl who tried to give me head on back seat of bus 7/10 (i already knew her)

Score for blowjob or girl?

― nathalie, Monday, 9 July 2007 08:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

Girl who spent the whole journey from Bank to Tottenham Court Road applying Mabeline Great Lash mascara at the kind of speed normally associated with sloths, continental drift etc. Your precision technique and self-absorbed narcissism made me feel really ill for some reason and it didn't make any difference to your appearence after the first coat. 2/10 (Points for having a cool dress.)

― Anna, Monday, 9 July 2007 09:51 (5 years ago) Permalink

no one specific, but why do people think physical contact is acceptable on public transport? i know the bus is crowded, but it only takes a minimum of effort to keep some air space between our arms. do not want your smelly, sweaty flesh pressed against mine.

― lex pretend, Monday, 9 July 2007 09:54 (5 years ago) Permalink

I fucking loathe temporarily not having a car.

Loud Aboriginal bloke shouting at his wife: 2/10
Twenty-something girl looking for all the world like a 12-year-old going to her friend's for a sleepover: 6/10
Fourty-something dickhead in denim shirt trying to read The Australian: 0/10

― King Boy Pato, Monday, 9 July 2007 10:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Score for blowjob or girl?

girl. as there was no blowjob on the bus ('tried'). anyway, after the last couple i'd kill for a 7

― 696, Monday, 9 July 2007 10:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 108 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Annoying English family with out of control child that ran up and down the carriage to stare at me before the train even moved: 0/10, worst savages alive imho

― Fade to Ugly Dave Gray (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 25 April 2010 23:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

6 months pass...

sitting behind me on the 414 from Fulham this evening: vile couple in their 50s, at least one of whom was wankered in that slurry umc way. They seemed to utterly despise each other, with him telling her that she'd destroyed every relationship he'd ever had before repeatedly calling her a "stupid fucking bitch".

depressing end to the weekend and I wish my ipod had waited until they'd gone before running out of juice.

― Upt0eleven, Sunday, 14 November 2010 22:06 (2 years ago) Permalink

0/10 btw

― Upt0eleven, Sunday, 14 November 2010 22:11 (2 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

ah man

fuck it, everyone gets a 10

hny

― acoleuthic, Saturday, 1 January 2011 07:28 (2 years ago) Permalink

How was your New Year's Eve, Louis?

― Davek (davek_00), Saturday, 1 January 2011 12:02 (2 years ago) Permalink

Glasgow to London train, guy sat down opposite me, thought he was Krakow for a moment, and he wasn't, so 0/10.

― ljubljana, Monday, 3 January 2011 17:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

Feller who got on the tram, scuffled all the way through it saying 'excuse me, please excuse me, I'm on DFP (or something, may have misheard this), sorry, excuse me, thank you, thank you', approached a seat at the end, said 'that's my seat, sorry, that's my seat, thank you, thank you', sat, rocked violently, yelled 'FUCK OFF!!! FUCK OFF!!!' at the air and switched to yelling in another language: 8/10, for having the ability and the grace to be as courteous as he possibly could.

― goldenarsehat.jpg (Schlafsack), Tuesday, 4 January 2011 22:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

dude on subway is sitting there solving a rubies cube with one hand, nbd

― dayo, Wednesday, 19 January 2011 05:10 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Sad bitch who, when I stood aside so people could get off the tram, fucking barged in front of me (and who I subsequently whacked very hard with my bag): 0.00000002

― sexy Santa cosplay (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 7 February 2011 06:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

Seemingly normal looking woman who took the seat next to me on the bus, but then proceeded to practically climb onto my lap such was her keenness to use me as some kind of leaning post, and who had about eight bags with her meaning I had to clamber over them to get off when my stop arrived: 0/10 and I know what you look like so whenever you get on again I will just give you the fucking seat, here, you can have it all to yourself, no really I insist.

― Bill A, Wednesday, 16 February 2011 15:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

300 year old guy with egg-sized tumor on face. .02 but if you sat on the other side just once so I didn't have to stare at that thing, 1.5.

Community college student who looks like Maynard G. Krebs and sings loudly and tunelessly and has conversations with imaginary people while iPod bangin' Harry Potter audiobooks (I looked over your shoulder), 5. Without the sunglasses 2.

― stately wang manner (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 17 February 2011 05:24 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Group of highly nerdy pre-teens who looked uncannily like The IT Crowd (one even had a Moss haircut ffs) and talked about computers for 20 mins: 8.5/10 for being accidentally wonderful

― Fannypack's "Camel Toe" (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 3 March 2011 22:29 (2 years ago) Permalink

Rangy looking guy a week or so ago on the Tube desperately trying to convince everybody that he was from another time and needed to get back, he was on the Met Line so I guess that's a start. 8/10 (-2 for being stinky)

― Run Westy Run Megatorrent (MaresNest), Thursday, 3 March 2011 23:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

2x suitcase-carrying student girls queuing for train at Euston

Student girl 1: Ohmigod this guy just like, totally cut me up, and like, totally didn't even say sorry? I was like, you are *sochatwat*?

Student girl 2: Ohmigod, that would like, never happen in Hertfordshire.

1/10

― MPx4A, Sunday, 20 March 2011 18:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

d bitch who, when I stood aside so people could get off the tram, fucking barged in front of me (and who I subsequently whacked very hard with my bag): 0.00000002

I would post this on the trivial shit that ruins your life every single day thread if I was the kind of guy who posted on that thread

― MPx4A, Sunday, 20 March 2011 18:52 (2 years ago) Permalink

people who take the aisle seat + put their bags on the window seat when the train is clearly going to be packed and only grudgingly move them when you stand over them:

a universal 8.4

― I *\m/* metal soooo much (history mayne), Sunday, 20 March 2011 18:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

businessman in pinstriped-suit eating mcdonalds sitting in the middle of a 3-seat lane on the train. Wouldn't budge up a single inch to let my gf sit down properly (even though there was plenty of room next to him) and insisted on slurping on his fingers all the way through the journey.

you suck
0.5/10

― Evil Eau (dog latin), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 14:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

loud girl who screeched "He fookin said he doesn't shittin. How gay is that? Naaaaaaa!" etc right behind me for 10 minutes
i don't even ...
0.1

― ／人 ◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ (zappi), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 15:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

he doesn't what??

― Evil Eau (dog latin), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 15:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

So mainstream now

http://www.tubecrush.net/

― Alba, Monday, 18 April 2011 23:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Woman who sat right next to me and immediately sneezed her cold all over me: thick fuck

― finish with a fast piston pump (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 22:13 (2 years ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

Woman eating a WHOLE CHICKEN on the train with her fingers: 0/10

― Child Hoodie's End (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 25 August 2011 08:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

Rather that than http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=715_1314132581

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 25 August 2011 08:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

Shrieking, turquoise-skinned mercenary regiment on the lower deck of the 185, deliberately mocking me by holding aloft the severed heads of my favourite primary school teachers: 3/10

― MPx4A, Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

The most awesome person who ever sat across or next to me on public transport asked me and my friends what three words in the English Language begin with "dw". We got "dwarf" straightaway and "dwell" not long after but couldn't think of the third, and my friends and I went back to talking amongst ourselves and he went back to doing whatever he was doing before he offered his conundrum. The bus reached its final destination and everyone got off, he started walking in the opposite direction to us but just at that moment I figured it out and called after him "dwindle". Without stopping or looking round he raised his fist in the air and shouted "Dwindle!"

― ledge, Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

that is amazing

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

15-yr-old girl who casually gave her number out and then, as the boy got off the bus and bid adieu with the words "I'll see you around", rebuffed him with "Yeah. Right. And that was my boyfriend's number": 10/10
― lex pretend, Tuesday, April 3, 2007 1:48 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

Guy on bus with a roll of Morrison's "Reduced 10p" stickers for clearance items, passing them out to people and telling them it really helps with the shopping - both 1/10 and 10/10, the sentiment is nice but I hope most of the #26 aren't thieves as well.

― ha ha ha ha jack my swag (boxedjoy), Thursday, 25 August 2011 10:23 (1 year ago) Permalink

Kenta Kobashi and Toshiaki Kawada, violently trading Strong Style near-falls on the 484 towards Lewisham: 7/10 - breathtaking stuff, but caused quite a lot of confusion and crowding and a woman who'd been trying to get off the bus at Goose Green ended up having to stay on until the Oakhurst Grove stop as a result

― MPx4A, Thursday, 25 August 2011 11:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

ledge, i love that story.

― jed_, Thursday, 25 August 2011 14:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

"dweeb" is in my dictionary

― lex pretend, Thursday, 25 August 2011 14:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

5 months pass...

Idiot couple sitting across from me on 3.5 hour train journey yesterday, you deserve more detail than one sentence allows; So...

Slurring, lager downing man, whose every mumbled utterance was leapt upon by (clearly) new girlfriend as though it were Oscar Wilde/Dorothy Parker reborn, accompanied by incessant, braying laughter, and you also put your filthy feet all over the seats in front - 3/10, at least I couldn't hear you much.

As for you, his sweet babboo, when you reach the point that a father on seats behind takes to imitating your laugh, to the delight of his children ("That's it Dad! She sounds just like a sheep!!") you might want to think about dialling down the chuckles, also when you complained that my wife and I were just sitting quietly reading and enjoying the scenery rather than pawing each other, making out and hobbling off to take coke in the train toilets: WE CAN HEAR YOU. That's a solid 0/10, you vacuous imbecile.

― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Monday, 13 February 2012 08:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

Guy noisily chowing down on a family-sized bag of crisps for your breakfast with a large bottle of coke to wash it down, 2/10 with a side order of diabetes.

― good luck in your pyramid (Neil S), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 08:47 (11 months ago) Permalink

4 months pass...

I'm sure your army friend who takes the piss out of black people, Chinese people, Indian people, is really really funny and totally justified because he has the experience.

― Autumnal the faun (ledge), Sunday, 30 September 2012 15:45 (7 months ago) Permalink

(4/10 cause your friend clearly thinks you are hilarious)

― Autumnal the faun (ledge), Sunday, 30 September 2012 16:15 (7 months ago) Permalink

Respectable-looking middle-aged guy on the metro intently reading the articles in what appears to be a barely-legal porn magazine oblivious to the giggling fits of the teenage girls sitting on both sides of you, although i applaud your dedication to the literary arts, this really isn't socially acceptable. 3/10

― Go Narine, Go! (ShariVari), Sunday, 7 October 2012 11:43 (7 months ago) Permalink

Be the change you want to see imo.

― fish frosch (seandalai), Sunday, 7 October 2012 13:14 (7 months ago) Permalink

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