"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

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Incidentally (hello I am old), isn't there something else called faceparty? Is it the same? You young people!

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

If I put myself down as 'staff' and not 'student', does that exlude me from one set or the other? Cos like, I know other staff at [INSERT UNIVERSITY NAME HERE] and don't want to exlusively find out details of academics/administrators when I could larff at STEWWDENTS :)

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

faceparty is different
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faceparty

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

who wants to be in my Ballsbook, ladies?
xpost Ballsparty?

― teh_kit has 22 friends (g-kit), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

I don't know Starry. I'm not sure if the site is able to verify past a legitmate .edu address. I am uni staff but have yet to facebook myself. the shame.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

Answers for starry re Facebook

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook%27s_use_in_investigations

wikipedia:

Privacy Settings

Facebook contains privacy settings that individuals can set to prevent school administrators or other groups from accessing their profiles or photos. Under the "My Privacy" settings page, a facebook user can select which of the following groups are allowed to view a page:

* Undergrads
* Grad Students
* Alumni
* Faculty
* Staff

However, there is no guarantee that school administrators or law enforcement agencies will not choose to identify themselves falsely on Facebook, or that they cannot gain access to profile information via other means.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

Can you change your profile if necessary? What if you are eg, an employee doing a research project, for debate :)

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

Two stories:

1. My girlfriend just graduated from college last year (2005) and doesn't have a Friendster or MySpace profile but does have a Facebook profile. This makes me feel old. However, I think what she likes about Facebook is that it is relatively closed off to the outside world, whereas I don't generally care what yahoos have a gander at my drunken photos.

2. I was at a frat party at the Univ. of Chicago a couple months ago ... an ILXor invited me, and I went for the anthropological experience as much as anything, really. Anyway, so I'm talking to this BMOC in a felt cowboy hat, who's somehow convinced that I had been dancing with this girl he has a crush on named Allison. (The only girl I'd been dancing with was this gawky philosophy major named Ethel who hurriedly told me within the first minute, "By the way, I don't wanna hook up with you, I have a boyfriend." Whatever!) I try to deny it at first, but he's not upset or anything, his attitude is more like "good for you, bro -- she's fuckin' hot, isn't she?" -- so eventually I agree that yes, I was dancing with Allison. "You know what you can do for me?" he slurs. "You can have her look me up on Facebook. That's Bret. With one T." At which point I laughed out loud.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

Oh and re the thread title: when my gf was showing me her Facebook profile, I was surprised to see that not only could you say you were "In a Relationship" but you could actually designate who your partner was and link to their profile.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

no idea !

i would expect most streetwise students would probably lock out snooping staff via the privacy settings

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

BMOC

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

Big Man On Campus! (I hope)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

Facebook is pretty useful. It makes keeping in touch with uni friends nice and easy. I'm young and went to a 'posh' uni though.

― jng (jng), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

No-one has yet addressed the fact that the titular quote is incredible cute!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

jng, how long can you keep your uni account open in the States? Over here, perhaps a few months... i mean, you cannot really use Facebook (if I got the rules right now) to keep in touch with uni friends once you graduated

― olenska (olenska), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

most universities offer alumni accounts.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

surely it stops people who aren't at uni going on it? what happens when you graduate?

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

xpost, sorry.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

Over here, perhaps a few months

Says you. I've had mine for nearly 10 years after graduation by now.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

Aww yeah - I just signed up as an alumni! It makes me feels old and lecherous though. Like going to a student party would, I guess.

― Baaderonixx immer wieder (baaderonixx), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

But Alumni can only perv on other Alumni? I might be wrong.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

Clearly I am, if I'm capitalising alumni.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

Haha, I started doing some work and clicked away from the register window, I guess I am not that bothered after all!

The sad truth is that I think it would make me feel lonely, and out of it! And I have a perfectly good LIVEJOURNAL for that arf arf ARF.

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm in the UK, so no idea about the US. I signed up with my uni email account a couple of years ago, and then just switched the profile over to my alumni email account when I graduated.

xpost

― jng (jng), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

maybe we could have an ILX SOCIAL GROUP????

― Baaderonixx immer wieder (baaderonixx), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

Its a really good way to stay in touch w people after you graduate.

― deej.. (deej..), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

Big Man On Campus! (I hope)

Yes. He seemed to know everyone and was walking around making sure people were having a good time.

I never signed up for an alumni e-mail account, and now I'm unsure of how to do so, but the only people I'd know on Facebook are young punks like deej, anyway.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

Its a really good way to stay in touch w people after you graduate.
-- deej.. (clublonel...), June 27th, 2006.

a bit like MEETING THEM, HOLDING CONVERSATIONS, THAT KIND OF SHIT.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

As a current college student, I can vouch for how omnipresent it is. In the official UC Berkeley student questionnaire (rate the counselors from 1-10 etc.) the university had an entire section in the survey asking students about facebook. I can think of two people I know who *aren't* on it.

It's far classier than myspace because you can't change your page much. No background music. No videos. This is good.

Very recently though, there has been a very noticeable trend (in Berkeley at least...can't speak for the nation) to make your profile super-private and only visable to friends. People are either getting wary, or snobby, I'm not sure which.

― starke (starke), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah its real easy to do that with my friends in San Francisco xp

― deej.. (deej..), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

A few more things:

1. My brother is a grad student and when he TAs a class, he always checks out his students' Facebook profiles and is sometimes surprised at what they're willing to divulge. (Then he stores this information in an Excel spreadsheet ... oh wait.)

2. I have a cousin who just finished his freshman year at Northern Illinois University. He tells me that as soon as he received his school e-mail address last summer, he immediately signed up on Facebook and found that dozens of other incoming students had done so as well. In fact, the ability to notate your dorm and room number within your profile meant that he knew nearly everyone in his hall before they ever actually met face to face.

3. Haha, my dad moderated a panel about Facebook last month.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

High school students can join it now too. Which is weird.

― deej.. (deej..), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

See, that's not weird to me because as far as I'm concerned, EVERYONE under 25 is on it.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, trading facebooks was the first thing the staff did when we got to camp. I think the basic reason it's so much more universal than eg friendster is the total lack of crepey hookup connotations?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

he always checks out his students' Facebook profiles
Not always, just for the cute ones ;)

― robots in love (robotsinlove), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

facebook is even creepier than myspace/friendster cuz then you can anonymously crepe on cute girls in your classes.

― the eunuchs, Cassim and Mustafa, who guarded Abdur Ali's harem (orion), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

It's strange--I do feel like there is a generational divide with facebook. I joined just this year, as a 24 year old grad student. But, the first year grad students, who are right out of college, already had facebook accounts from undergrad days. they just had to switch over the designation to their new university affiliation. But the point is they already had them and were totally accustomed to using them, whereas they had convinced me to join, and then were disappointed when facebook did not function the same way they were used to (nobody checked it frequently enough, thereby making announcing parties useless).

― robots in love (robotsinlove), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Did you read the Lewis Flyer article yet, M.?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

Regarding the quote in topic, yeah, the relationship status on Facebook does lead to a lot of awkward situations. A friend of mine had that she was married to her boyfriend on Facebook. After they broke up for a while, he eventually changed the setting to say single which automatically did it for her profile too. It was like a whole 'nother stage of breaking up.

There's an annoying girl at my job who has some serious growing up to do. One of her many horrifying common behaviors is playing "house" at the job and designating different coworkers as different members of her family. For a while she had a huge crush on me, and thus I became the husband. Whenever new people were hired, she'd excitedly hug me and exclaim in her nasal voice, "This is Derek, he's my husband! He's the best husband in the world!" Then she'd switch to a more serious tone to warn the girls that they'd better not flirt with me. Terrifying. Of course, she wanted to marry me on Facebook. After weeks of continually reminding me that I have yet to click "yes" that we are indeed married, I finally gave in and did it. After a while, trying to finally give her the message that I'm not interested, I switched to being married with another one of our coworkers, a girl I'm good friends with but my "wife" hated. When she saw that I'd switched the status, she had a real break down. Female co-workers told me about her heart break over the incident.

In conclusion, jesus christ, be glad you're not on Facebook.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

why is this any better than myspace? i don't get it.
-- dog latin (doglati...) (webmail), June 27th, 2006. (dog latin)

Certain features that make it really useful for college students. You can list your classes in your profile and the page can create a list for you of people in your classes. You can easily find people in your class to ask them questions about upcoming tests, what the homework was, etc. Also, unlike MySpace, there's more local community centered stuff since the only people on Facebook I interact with are fellow UNCC students and I don't see anyone from Harvard. For example there's groups with local interest like "I LOVE " rather than just "I LOVE LIMP BIZKIT." Like other people mentioned, there's the announcing/organizing events too.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

But what is this thing that US students say is now more important than sex and texting?

MORE IMPORTANT THAN TEXTING?!?!?!?!??!

― matlewis (matlewis), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

he eventually changed the setting to say single which automatically did it for her profile too. It was like a whole 'nother stage of breaking up.

That is pretty harsh.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

I think the basic reason it's so much more universal than eg friendster is the total lack of crepey hookup connotations?

Au contraire. I think a lot of people use it for exactly that reason. That's the impression I've gotten, anyway.

― Deric W. Haircare (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 16:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

Facebook is fucking annoying. I'm an elderly undergrad, surrounded by people who use it as a substitute for actual communication. So I decided to get kicked off of Facebook but it's not working yet--I've replaced my entire profile with excerpts from Pilgrim's Progress and some Duran Duran slash fiction, I've started reporting every person whose profile says "Libertarian," etc. No luck.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 16:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

surrounded by people who use it as a substitute for actual communication.

hi, do you know the internet?

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 16:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

hah yeah wtf how is it different than anything else on the internet?

― deej.. (deej..), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 16:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

that facebook thing would have been so useful for my social life in '96. and myspace too. and p2p files exchange softwares (I was so informationally poor). also, ah, if only I had pentium3 +highspeed+100gig storage+ free video editing software back then, when
i was more interested in cinema , because most of the canonic cinematographic trips were new to me etc good grief I should have been born in '81

― S. (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 17:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

― S. (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 17:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

believe it or not, there are things better for your social life than exponentially raising the amount of time you spend sitting in front of a computer.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 17:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

i don't.

― jeffrey (johnson), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 17:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 5440 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Except that I know all too much the suffering that comes with grief and loss. And this kind of a website would be very healing to some people.

― The Great Natterer (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:51 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

yeah until I saw my coworker obsessively sharing this stuff I would have rmde but she was so upset, and is clearly still grieving and idk, it's not my bag at all but i guess some people just grieve in really, really corny/creepy ways

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:51 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

I guess all it takes to silence my snark is a grieving mother from Melling. Who knew.

― pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:54 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Funny how real world experience can color our empathy.

― The Great Natterer (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:00 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

my real life instructions to friends have been to throw my corpse in a dumpster in a neighboring community to create a csi-type mystery for someone to solve

― mh, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:02 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

mr veg has been entrusted with arranging my viking funeral; we're already clear that none of our friends can be trusted with flaming-arrow-duties. it'll be down to him, my brother in law and my niece to do the heavylifting, archery wise.

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:04 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

$180 to dispose of your dog's body? Why not bury it in the back yard (or other area)?

― nickn, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:06 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

She was a big dog.

― pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:07 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

It might not have been that much. I could be mixing that price up with one of the cats that got euthanized.

― pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:08 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

When my parents lived out of town on an acreage one of their neighbors started a pet cemetery and had a facility for cremations. I believe he had a large enough furnace to cremate a horse. Yup, lucrative business, that.

― mh, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:24 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Pillows are cheaper xp

― Mordy, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:24 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Pillows or pillowcases.

― pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:35 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

She was a big dog.

― pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:07 (31 minutes ago)

Veruca?!?

― karl lagerlout (suzy), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:40 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Sadly.

― pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 21:50 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

my cousin posts this kind of stuff on a daily basis, lots of heaven/angel/dead-loved-ones corny sayings/quotations/flowery pics. she lost both her brothers to a hereditary disease, one about 23 years ago, the other about 18 years ago.

― just1n3, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 22:05 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Sorry to hear that, PP. My dad's Dane survived him, but was already 7, so I think they're both gone now (I did NOT stay in touch with The Widow).

I've got a handful of FB friends who post mawkish loss-related items on their walls. While I don't have a problem with people wanting to express their bereavement, I will never stop having a problem with bad writing, horrible fonts, lame images and the Hallmark-ization of magical thinking.

― karl lagerlout (suzy), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 22:19 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

suzy otm

― mh, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 22:21 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

this is only tangentially related, but when someone's facebook page post-death is co-opted by family with messages thanking people for their support, it's sort of ghoulishly like they're saying 'okay show's over thanks everyone'

― we're up all night to eat biscuits (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 22:58 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

in my mind it's like that video of the dead cat that was turned into a radio controlled helicopter

― we're up all night to eat biscuits (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 22:59 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

the whole post-death legacy on the internets thing will always be disturbing to me

― The Great Natterer (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 23:42 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

― pplains, Thursday, 25 April 2013 00:29 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

i love the two hour gap between 'rawrr' and 'lol not really'

― we're up all night to eat biscuits (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 25 April 2013 00:30 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

that one is worth so many guilty laughs

― mh, Thursday, 25 April 2013 01:37 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

In the event of one of my cats dying, I would like to bury him or her. It's probably illegal to bury a pet in a nature preserve or park, but that's what I think I'd like to do. I'm not very comfortable with cremation, and I'd like him or her to have a nice spot to rest and feed the plants.

― Je55e, Monday, 29 April 2013 05:09 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

My Dad figured out a way to manipulate cremated remains so they take on a pearl-like appearance, it's very pretty. He makes jewelry out of it.

― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Monday, 29 April 2013 05:13 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

wait...pet cremains? i came here to complain about other people's friends spamming me on facebook, but while we're at it, my animal hospital was so kind as to give us a little plaster paw print when my dog died. i cherish it! would wear earrings, too.

― and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 29 April 2013 12:49 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah, he uses pets, to be honest he discovered it accidentally and picked up some cremains from the humane society (the pound) to practice with. I think it's lovely because in addition to jewelry you can scatter with some permanence.

― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Monday, 29 April 2013 12:57 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I buried the cat, and it took me a whole afternoon to dig a big enough hole. After that, I sat down with the Great Dane and we both came to the conclusion that cremation would be best when it came her time.

― pplains, Monday, 29 April 2013 13:20 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I've buried four or five cats since I was 8 and you must have gone way deeper than I ever did

― charli.xlsx (sic), Monday, 29 April 2013 16:00 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Lot of rocks + big cat + I'm pushing 40.

― pplains, Monday, 29 April 2013 16:08 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Maybe I'll just bury them at sea (Lake Michigan).

― Je55e, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:16 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Recently, Facebook wanted some answers to questions, such as "Which University did you go to" and "Where do you work?"

So, if anyone else out there went to "No I did not" university, or currently works at "Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band" then that's where you will find me also..

― Mark G, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:11 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Mine kept asking me if I worked at Gawker.

― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:23 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

don't all ilxors work unpaid by proxy for gawker

― there is no special cathexis with mini fried donuts (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:27 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

their wit and wisdom ripe for reappropriation by our resident gawker writer

― there is no special cathexis with mini fried donuts (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:28 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i thought facebook was just taunting me for being unemployed. glad to see everyone's getting similar messages

― Treeship, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:34 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Trrrrreeeeeershiiiiiiip my duuuuuude

― ְ֮֠֓֟֬֩ (gr8080), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 01:05 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

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