THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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You never know, Krzysztov Komeda may be on it.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I want to see Thom Yorke covered in chocolate.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:00 (nineteen years ago) link

it gets worse, a sponsorsed promotion:

Hologram first for IPC's NME
http://www.mediaweek.co.uk/articles/2004/11/ipc-nme-o2hologram

The next edition of the NME will carry what it claims is a world first for a weekly magazine – a 3D hologram for the entire front cover, celebrating its 50 musical movers and shakers of 2004.

3d hologram features 02 phones

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:03 (nineteen years ago) link

it just looks so weird dropping that gadget next to drugzz-bloke.

soo fucking weird.

do the sponsors really want that kind of association ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:10 (nineteen years ago) link

they should have Pete holding the phone in one hand, and a tortoise in the other

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:13 (nineteen years ago) link

did O2 know who would be number 1/ on da front cover, when they booked the "Cool List" Ad front cover?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:14 (nineteen years ago) link

actually the pose seems to indicate that they were going to superimpose the handheld into the appropiate place. ahem.

.. but i wonder if O2 reconsidered when they saw the photo ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Junkiez R kool + konsumer products R kool > konsumers R junkiez + rock izza konsumer product and it's all kool > skore skore skore

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:28 (nineteen years ago) link

hooray! um..

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:29 (nineteen years ago) link

i'd rather read the Momus Cool List

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:38 (nineteen years ago) link

The gherkin is pretty cool, I'll give them that.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:39 (nineteen years ago) link

i do wish some of what was inside could be scooped out and kept seperate from that sort of sh-t. god help us. there's still some good stuff in there every so often, but this is depressing as all hell.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:47 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

This week's has a 'UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT' tag over the NME logo. So I picked it up thinking maybe McNicholas had been sacked, or that IPC had sold the magazine on, but instead it's a reference to the fact that Franz Ferdinand are 'editing' this week's issue.

Didn't actually notice the huge banner headline saying 'FRANZ FERDINAND TAKE OVER NME', because I'm an idiot.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.nme.com/media/images/ff_scarf021104_S.jpg

Wrap up warm this winter with the exclusive Franz Ferdinand scarf, plus more goodies.

― LSD ARISTOCAT (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link

STRANGLE INDIEFUX

― LSD ARISTOCAT (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:03 (nineteen years ago) link

That is just a Hull City* scarf with FRANZ FERDINAND written on it. Must try harder

*I think - help someone

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Surely it's a Dundee United scarf, what with them being Scots.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Ah, but that would surely be too close for comfort, as Edinburgers?

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:46 (nineteen years ago) link

It's like the inverse of Dumbarton's famous "licorice allsort" kit.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 6 January 2005 09:29 (nineteen years ago) link

"UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT"

Only one man can save the NME:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39947000/gif/_39947788_chelsea2_203.gif

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 January 2005 09:39 (nineteen years ago) link

wow, this is the second publication ff have 'edited' after g2 about a year back.

now: why do people think teh ferdinand are 'intelligent'? are lines about terry wogan more clever than lines about tight jeans and stiletto heals? plz show working

― kaiser wilhelm, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:20 (nineteen years ago) link

the only problem with that FF lyric is i can't remember Terry Wogan ever being on BBC2.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:28 (nineteen years ago) link

the other problem with the lyric is it's so pleased with itself and i don't know why: it's not just that divers critics and fans think ff is clever; it's also that the band clearly concur.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost)

true! i guess they wanted to mention the bbc for whatever up-sucking reason, and "I'm on bbc2 now" sounds better than the (more factual but more vague for non-Brits) "I'm on Radio 2 now" would.

Damn them and their inaccuracy! Damn them to hell!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

well the lyric is a brag disguised as nonchalance isn't it? so you could argue Kapranos is singing it in character. an annoying character indeed but perhaps that is the point.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

divers critics and fans think ff is clever.

I like that one.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Franz seem to be an intelligent band. True, not all of them went to art school, but they're not one of these bands who pretend to be thickos in order to look "cool". It's just a shame they didn't comission as interesting features as they did in the Guardian. That said, Nick McCarthy deserves a round of applause for commissioning a piece on the German music scene.
The Glasgow hot spots list wasn't very good - the choices were fine, it's just the writer didn't have a clue. Stephen Pastel's Monorail, the best record shop in Scotland, is merely a "vinyl section" in a cafe (wouldn't want to big that shop up too much, cos it might introduce people to a world of musical possibilities far beyond Conor McNicholas's wildest dreams!), while Stereo is in a part of town populated by "purple faced" old alkies. Not when I lived there.
But I'm being pedantic.
It's a shame Franz didn't suggest art galleries or the like, cos Glasgow is producing some interesting stuff (Luke Fowler is the latest Scot to be nominated for the Becks prize) but maybe their suggestions were ignored. Wouldn't want to seem too intellectual.

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:46 (nineteen years ago) link

did EMF make the cover ?- i still play their first , still trying to get into t heir 2nd,i've returnred the 3rd and the greatst hits is not as good as their first.
s kids buy their first and then stop....

― graced boy, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:49 (nineteen years ago) link

it's true ff dont pretend to be hard to be cool; instead they pretend to be clever to look cool. pick your poison really, it's all pretense in pop. personally i can't stand that kind of arch 'cleverness', not least because it's often not as clever as it thinks. teh ferdinand's whinnying on 'mythology' being essential to music is not clever: it's an nme doxa which serves to cover up the musical conservatism of the bands it champions... like teh ferdinand.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:02 (nineteen years ago) link

(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

― kit brash (kit brash), Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:06 (nineteen years ago) link

over the holiday i discovered an old copy of the NME, c 1991, which had the cover story of the Inspiral Carpets touring America. Headline? Why "Allied Carpets" of course.

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 6 January 2005 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

EMF had the Christmas 1991 cover, shared (at their own insistence) with Carter USM, all the Meffers wearing Santa hats and Jim'n'Les in their enormous sacks. Or Derry's enormous foreskin. Or something.
(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

-- kit brash (kitbras...), January 6th, 2005.
what;s all the covers - i know of cream cover

― forest freak, Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh no oh no oh no I'm having some traumatic recovered memory of this now...

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:42 (nineteen years ago) link

[x-post] That's where it all went wrong, they don't do headline puns like they used to in NME now. or, um, anything really.

much as I'a enjoying the Carter/'Mef nostalgia - what's the bit in the Franz issue this week on fanzines, have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets? Or did I imagine that bit in the nme e-mailout i'm still stuck on?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I knew there was something I wanted to look at in the NME but I totally missed it when flicking through in the shop. Oh well, back up the road then...
I doubt they included my zine - but the List did. (shameless plug alert)
http://beardmag.blogspot.com

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago) link

have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets?

Fraid not. There are a couple DIY kinda things, plus the very good Robots & Electronic Brains and Black Velvet, which is a strange glossy covered thing that mainly features glam rock and Lostprophets and the like

― DJ Mencap0))), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago) link

yay Robots!
why on earth Black Velvet though, longevity....?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I have no idea. Maybe it's the first hit in a google search for 'fanzine', or something. The piece was written by James Jam, though, and he should have a clue about this sort of thing.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 6 January 2005 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

The best nme.com of all time?

spoof

― Rubber Ogden, Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Well weapon!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:03 (nineteen years ago) link

haha, the 'Queens Of Noise are great' headline links to the Auto Trader website

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha, even better than the real thing.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:17 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha

― NRQ, Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Good work that man.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 March 2005 11:15 (nineteen years ago) link

six months pass...

http://nme.com/images/69_190905_killers_cover.jpg

NME comes out every Wednesday, is priced a mere £1.90 and is available in all good newsagents.

This Week
New Look NME! More Reviews! Bigger Radar! All new sections!

Needless to say, it's shit. The reviews have moved to the center pages (probably would work better if there was more of them, probably only moved them to disguise the lack of interviews), a horrible new font which looks like it's out of a student magazine (probably the intention) WHICH THEN CHANGES HALFWAY THOROUGH to a 'serious' font with those serif things on for the hard-hitting interview with The Killers about shampoo or oranges or stamps, or something.

There's even a strangely apologetic "Editor's Letter" from Conor McFuck where his gist is essentially "We don't know why we changed it".

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Who the fuck are "Arctic Monkeys"?

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:35 (eighteen years ago) link

one pound ninety!?

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The killers are pig ugly, and their music sucks shit through a straw.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

...so i guess i won't be buying nme this week either.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:06 (eighteen years ago) link

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