THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (2244 of them)

HOW DO I IGNORE MOMUS

THANKS

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:23 (nineteen years ago) link

see now i don't think that's true.
don't confuse 'the nme' with the cover of the nme.
a lot of what you read in the reviews section, the news, the
gig stuff, the last franz article etc. certanly doesn't
have the atitude that rock is dead. quite the opposite.
often there's plenty of support for experimentation
adventure etc. you may not guess that from the cover.

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Yea, because Franz Ferdinand is sooooooooo experimental and adventurous!

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:47 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost to Momus:

Did you find that issue of Vice to be as unreadable as I did? It's as bad as the magazines it spoofs.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 14:53 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought it could have been done better. It wasn't so far from an Onion for media junkies. But I did laugh, I have to say. Whereas the NME just makes me want to cry.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Did you find that issue of Vice to be as unreadable as I did? It's as bad as the magazines it spoofs.

While the style mag spoofs in the current issue of Vice don't say anything particularly funny / original / cutting about style mags, the parts where it's spoofing itself (the Dos and Donts, the 'Hot' and 'Cool' articles) actually serve draw attention to how shit Vice itself is (as if anyone needed to have that brought to their attention).

― Graeme (Graeme), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 15:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I think the problem with that Vice Worst Issue Ever is that fashion, like fine art, plays much more supple, subtle games with taste than rock does. Often 'the unspeakable' or 'the taboo' or 'a bloody joke' becomes, in art and fashion, a source of new styles. Transgression against the law of the collector or the law of the stylist becomes the new law of the collector, the new law of the stylist. I'm thinking of something like the Chapman Brothers making a model of McDonald's as hell, or Terry Richardon trying to make models look like they're in some cheap porn shoot. Uncool can become cool much more unpredictably in these art / fashion than it does in music, and especially in the NME's conception of music.

I remember when it was different: the 'Is Ginger Baker joining PiL thing, for instance. It seemed like a spoof, but it turned out to be serious. It was a reversal of punk ideology, but punk then was much closer to the kind of sudden, breathtaking reversals that art or fashion alone attempt now.

For Vice, the pitfall of trying to make an edition that looks naff is that naff is exactly where new fashion is likely to come from. It doesn't stay naff for long. At the competitive and creative end of fashion nothing is off limits, and there's nothing that can't be redeemed if the right people get behind it. So the laughs threaten at any moment to be on them. But, you know, I like their vulnerability. I like the fact that they walk a dangerous line with that. The magazine feels alive for that very reason. And just because the NME might go out of business at any moment, it doesn't mean it isn't already dead, and hasn't been for quite a long time, as far as I can see.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 20 October 2004 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

warning, prepare for comedy:

This Week - The Cool List 2004
http://microsites.nme.com/thisweek/

Everyone over 20 prepare to laugh at what the NME thinks is cool.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:55 (nineteen years ago) link

don't care, honest

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:58 (nineteen years ago) link

that's the new worst cover ever tho

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:58 (nineteen years ago) link

You never know, Krzysztov Komeda may be on it.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I want to see Thom Yorke covered in chocolate.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:00 (nineteen years ago) link

it gets worse, a sponsorsed promotion:

Hologram first for IPC's NME
http://www.mediaweek.co.uk/articles/2004/11/ipc-nme-o2hologram

The next edition of the NME will carry what it claims is a world first for a weekly magazine – a 3D hologram for the entire front cover, celebrating its 50 musical movers and shakers of 2004.

3d hologram features 02 phones

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:03 (nineteen years ago) link

it just looks so weird dropping that gadget next to drugzz-bloke.

soo fucking weird.

do the sponsors really want that kind of association ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:10 (nineteen years ago) link

they should have Pete holding the phone in one hand, and a tortoise in the other

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:13 (nineteen years ago) link

did O2 know who would be number 1/ on da front cover, when they booked the "Cool List" Ad front cover?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:14 (nineteen years ago) link

actually the pose seems to indicate that they were going to superimpose the handheld into the appropiate place. ahem.

.. but i wonder if O2 reconsidered when they saw the photo ..

― mark e (mark e), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Junkiez R kool + konsumer products R kool > konsumers R junkiez + rock izza konsumer product and it's all kool > skore skore skore

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:28 (nineteen years ago) link

hooray! um..

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:29 (nineteen years ago) link

i'd rather read the Momus Cool List

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:38 (nineteen years ago) link

The gherkin is pretty cool, I'll give them that.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:39 (nineteen years ago) link

i do wish some of what was inside could be scooped out and kept seperate from that sort of sh-t. god help us. there's still some good stuff in there every so often, but this is depressing as all hell.

― piscesboy, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:47 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

This week's has a 'UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT' tag over the NME logo. So I picked it up thinking maybe McNicholas had been sacked, or that IPC had sold the magazine on, but instead it's a reference to the fact that Franz Ferdinand are 'editing' this week's issue.

Didn't actually notice the huge banner headline saying 'FRANZ FERDINAND TAKE OVER NME', because I'm an idiot.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.nme.com/media/images/ff_scarf021104_S.jpg

Wrap up warm this winter with the exclusive Franz Ferdinand scarf, plus more goodies.

― LSD ARISTOCAT (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link

STRANGLE INDIEFUX

― LSD ARISTOCAT (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:03 (nineteen years ago) link

That is just a Hull City* scarf with FRANZ FERDINAND written on it. Must try harder

*I think - help someone

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Surely it's a Dundee United scarf, what with them being Scots.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Ah, but that would surely be too close for comfort, as Edinburgers?

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:46 (nineteen years ago) link

It's like the inverse of Dumbarton's famous "licorice allsort" kit.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 6 January 2005 09:29 (nineteen years ago) link

"UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT"

Only one man can save the NME:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39947000/gif/_39947788_chelsea2_203.gif

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 January 2005 09:39 (nineteen years ago) link

wow, this is the second publication ff have 'edited' after g2 about a year back.

now: why do people think teh ferdinand are 'intelligent'? are lines about terry wogan more clever than lines about tight jeans and stiletto heals? plz show working

― kaiser wilhelm, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:20 (nineteen years ago) link

the only problem with that FF lyric is i can't remember Terry Wogan ever being on BBC2.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:28 (nineteen years ago) link

the other problem with the lyric is it's so pleased with itself and i don't know why: it's not just that divers critics and fans think ff is clever; it's also that the band clearly concur.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost)

true! i guess they wanted to mention the bbc for whatever up-sucking reason, and "I'm on bbc2 now" sounds better than the (more factual but more vague for non-Brits) "I'm on Radio 2 now" would.

Damn them and their inaccuracy! Damn them to hell!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

well the lyric is a brag disguised as nonchalance isn't it? so you could argue Kapranos is singing it in character. an annoying character indeed but perhaps that is the point.

― Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

divers critics and fans think ff is clever.

I like that one.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Franz seem to be an intelligent band. True, not all of them went to art school, but they're not one of these bands who pretend to be thickos in order to look "cool". It's just a shame they didn't comission as interesting features as they did in the Guardian. That said, Nick McCarthy deserves a round of applause for commissioning a piece on the German music scene.
The Glasgow hot spots list wasn't very good - the choices were fine, it's just the writer didn't have a clue. Stephen Pastel's Monorail, the best record shop in Scotland, is merely a "vinyl section" in a cafe (wouldn't want to big that shop up too much, cos it might introduce people to a world of musical possibilities far beyond Conor McNicholas's wildest dreams!), while Stereo is in a part of town populated by "purple faced" old alkies. Not when I lived there.
But I'm being pedantic.
It's a shame Franz didn't suggest art galleries or the like, cos Glasgow is producing some interesting stuff (Luke Fowler is the latest Scot to be nominated for the Becks prize) but maybe their suggestions were ignored. Wouldn't want to seem too intellectual.

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:46 (nineteen years ago) link

did EMF make the cover ?- i still play their first , still trying to get into t heir 2nd,i've returnred the 3rd and the greatst hits is not as good as their first.
s kids buy their first and then stop....

― graced boy, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:49 (nineteen years ago) link

it's true ff dont pretend to be hard to be cool; instead they pretend to be clever to look cool. pick your poison really, it's all pretense in pop. personally i can't stand that kind of arch 'cleverness', not least because it's often not as clever as it thinks. teh ferdinand's whinnying on 'mythology' being essential to music is not clever: it's an nme doxa which serves to cover up the musical conservatism of the bands it champions... like teh ferdinand.

― henry miller, Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:02 (nineteen years ago) link

(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

― kit brash (kit brash), Thursday, 6 January 2005 11:06 (nineteen years ago) link

over the holiday i discovered an old copy of the NME, c 1991, which had the cover story of the Inspiral Carpets touring America. Headline? Why "Allied Carpets" of course.

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 6 January 2005 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

EMF had the Christmas 1991 cover, shared (at their own insistence) with Carter USM, all the Meffers wearing Santa hats and Jim'n'Les in their enormous sacks. Or Derry's enormous foreskin. Or something.
(the Greatest Hits beats the debut because of the covers and the Stephen Fry track and the bonus disc of remixes (though it doesn't have all the best Unbelievable mixes :( ))

-- kit brash (kitbras...), January 6th, 2005.
what;s all the covers - i know of cream cover

― forest freak, Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh no oh no oh no I'm having some traumatic recovered memory of this now...

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 6 January 2005 15:42 (nineteen years ago) link

[x-post] That's where it all went wrong, they don't do headline puns like they used to in NME now. or, um, anything really.

much as I'a enjoying the Carter/'Mef nostalgia - what's the bit in the Franz issue this week on fanzines, have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets? Or did I imagine that bit in the nme e-mailout i'm still stuck on?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I knew there was something I wanted to look at in the NME but I totally missed it when flicking through in the shop. Oh well, back up the road then...
I doubt they included my zine - but the List did. (shameless plug alert)
http://beardmag.blogspot.com

― stew, Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago) link

have they just crowbarred a big retrospective of '98-era cut'n'paste-style Yummy Fur coverage past the unknowing current NME editorial muppets?

Fraid not. There are a couple DIY kinda things, plus the very good Robots & Electronic Brains and Black Velvet, which is a strange glossy covered thing that mainly features glam rock and Lostprophets and the like

― DJ Mencap0))), Thursday, 6 January 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago) link

yay Robots!
why on earth Black Velvet though, longevity....?

― peteflynn (piratestyle), Thursday, 6 January 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I have no idea. Maybe it's the first hit in a google search for 'fanzine', or something. The piece was written by James Jam, though, and he should have a clue about this sort of thing.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 6 January 2005 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

The best nme.com of all time?

spoof

― Rubber Ogden, Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Well weapon!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:03 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 2144 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

This thread has been locked by an administrator

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.