got a question for ya, nothing vulgar this time, i promise

Thanx

27yo me: DON'T GO TO UNIVERSITY WHEN THEY TRY TO FORCE YOU
12yo me: it's ok i won't let them.
27yo me: YES YOU WILL. YOU WILL CAVE IN. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! THEY ARE OFTEN WRONG ABOUT THIS SHIT!
12yo me: oh, ok. thanks. who do i know who will give me good advice about this stuff then?
27yo me: ...
12yo me: oh, great.
27yo me: look, chill. just do what the fuck you want. don't start thinking you can't just 'cause people tell you you can't. ok? your horizons can be bigger.
12yo me: ok. shit, what's that you're listening to? i like it. can i tape the cd off you?
27yo me: yes. and this one, and this one, and this one. go and find some weird shit to listen to. you'll like it. start by going into spiller's and asking them for a new record called 'goo'.
12yo me: uh... ok. ...um, look, i'm not still living here, am i?
27yo me: no! christ, no. you escape. it's fine. you're in london. it's wicked. you get a shitload of great friends and you go to lots of gigs and stuff. hey, you work in music!
12yo me: cool! wait, i'm not a novelist?
27yo me: nah, but don't worry about it. there's time for that. 27 isn't old.
12yo me: it's fucking ancient.
27yo me: shut up. and don't stop riding your bike, idiot. oh yeah, and you will get into uwc so don't worry about that.
12yo me: i get to go to ac? brilliant!
27yo me: er, no, not ac. better!
12yo me: how can it be better?
27yo me: i'm not telling you. got to leave some surprises. also, please remember that pretty much everyone you go to school with, apart from emma c and sarah h and maybe a couple of others, are idiots. waste of oxygen. don't pay any attention. you'll totally have the last laugh on them.
12yo me: ok. i kind of know that anyway, but when there are so many more of them it's hard sometimes. hey, did that hurt?
27yo me: yeah, but only for like a second.
12yo me: i like it! wow, you're so grown up.
27yo me: bwahahaha no i'm so not. look, take that fucking thing out of your hair, it looks stupid.

12: Gee you got fat.
25: Yeah it happens, you fucker.
12: It won't happen to me.
25: It will, the only reason you don't eat now is because you're mom's food tastes like crap.
12: I hate you.
25: You've never had sex.
12: I'm going to kill myself.
25: Good!