Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

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Lolz and seriousness are not mutually exclusive. The question is still begged, what earthly reason would there be for you not to take the necessary steps to stop the baby watching you wank?

Amity Wong (noodle vague), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:30 (9 years ago) Permalink

At least wait until the baby's napping -- IN ANOTHER ROOM, for cryin' out loud.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:33 (9 years ago) Permalink

"B-b-b-but I have to wank right now or I'll DIE!!"

cf. Exploding Testicle Syndrome

Amity Wong (noodle vague), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:39 (9 years ago) Permalink

Lolz and seriousness are not mutually exclusive. The question is still begged, what earthly reason would there be for you not to take the necessary steps to stop the baby watching you wank?

Because wanker needs the baby there to get hottttt.

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:42 (9 years ago) Permalink

taking the piss and being correct isn't mutually exclusive either!

although i reckon one can be cultually conditioned to think otherwise.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:42 (9 years ago) Permalink

you don't need to be able to attach a concept to something to be affected by it, Tuomas - if you did, there would never be any learning ever. while there are various theories of infant learning (I don't think we're in disagreement as to whether infants learn), all of them involve stimulus and response. The stimulus in question here (seeing an adult masturbate) isn't really something whose effect we'd want to see tested, not even once if we could help it, is it?

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:48 (9 years ago) Permalink

"it would have no idea of what masturbation is, so all it would see is someone moving his/her hand."

with their genitals growing bigger and then stuff squirting out of it.

You know some very special women, Ken.

Dan (SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:52 (9 years ago) Permalink

well one of them gave birth to you so i should think so.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:54 (9 years ago) Permalink

it's great to see important issues can still be discussed on ILE

Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:55 (9 years ago) Permalink

and new points still being raised.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:57 (9 years ago) Permalink

ILE tackles the big questions that have confounded mankind for ages!

"Why are we here?"
"Where did we come from?"
"Is it okay to masturbate in front of the baby before we go?"
"Are those nachos?"

Dan (And So On) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:57 (9 years ago) Permalink

someone who doesn't have any sort of morality yet?
are *any* acts 'inherently' immoral? i would think not. i don't understand your line of reasoning here.

Hey, if you want to be a cultural/moral relativist, there's no good reason not to go all the way.


for sure society could stand to loosen up about sexuality a little, but exposing infants to adult sexuality is surely not the place to start.

you can't have your cake and eat it too.

A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:00 (9 years ago) Permalink

Oh for fuck's sake, dude.

Dan (Stop Being Stupid) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:01 (9 years ago) Permalink

THIS THREAD WINS EVERYTHING.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:03 (9 years ago) Permalink

Is it wrong to eat a live baby if the baby doens't understand the concept of cannibalism?

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:04 (9 years ago) Permalink

THIS THREAD WINS EVERYTHING

It doesn't beat the best thread ever (and coincidentally the FIRST on ILX).

Waffle Cone Sundae, Monday, 5 December 2005 17:04 (9 years ago) Permalink

Oh please.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:05 (9 years ago) Permalink

you can't have your baby and eat it too.

xxpost

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:05 (9 years ago) Permalink

Is it bad for a blind baby to hear you masturbating? Should a deaf baby ever be blindfolded, if you are masturbating, or otherwise????

Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:06 (9 years ago) Permalink

# visual phenomena that can't be filmed or videotaped (22 new answers)
# Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating? (138 new answers)

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:08 (9 years ago) Permalink

How do you get a dead baby to float?

A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:08 (9 years ago) Permalink

blindfolds was covered upthread i think, but yes the deafness thing is taking it to a new level of moral dilemma.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:09 (9 years ago) Permalink

Is it bad to make a dead eaten baby blind by wanking it?

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:10 (9 years ago) Permalink

the blind, deaf baby has enough problems dealing with a visit form Roy Keane to worry about people having sex in the same room, not that Keano would tolerate that sort of behaviour.

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:10 (9 years ago) Permalink

but what is a "room." What if this took place outside?

A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:12 (9 years ago) Permalink

What about puppies?

Super Cub (Debito), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:26 (9 years ago) Permalink

Oh, and hold on, upthread. The incest thing is completely different. It is quite possible to have consentual, non-abusive incest.

Pete (Pete), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:43 (9 years ago) Permalink

Yes, child molestation and incest sometimes overlap, but are not the same thingg.

Super Cub (Debito), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:45 (9 years ago) Permalink

But neither are a good idea.
(just to clarify)

Super Cub (Debito), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:45 (9 years ago) Permalink

what if it's just some friendly, consentual, intra-family buggering? which doesn't involve the possibility of creating freak babies. that's surely okay only except for social conditioning yeah?

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:48 (9 years ago) Permalink

How long are you guys gonna keep this asswitty thread on New Answers?

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:50 (9 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, condoms make social conditioning moot.

Super Cub (Debito), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:50 (9 years ago) Permalink

don't need no hateration in this gaucherie

Roxymuzak, Mrs. Carbohydrate (roxymuzak), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:50 (9 years ago) Permalink

is it wrong to just put condoms on a coathanger for babies to play with instead of these things?

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:55 (9 years ago) Permalink

wow Nairn you're even dumber than I'd remembered

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 18:26 (9 years ago) Permalink

How do you get a dead baby to float?

Put it in root beer?

Dan (Not Good At Riddles) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 18:31 (9 years ago) Permalink

You know some very special women, Ken.

squirters, duh.

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 5 December 2005 18:33 (9 years ago) Permalink

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:15 (9 years ago) Permalink

Also, this thread needs an overbearing Brooklyn father to come up, cuff it on the back of the head and say, "Jeeeesus Christ, what the FUCK is wrong with you?"

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:19 (9 years ago) Permalink

i had a crush on that thor girl from adventures in babysitting when i was her age.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:21 (9 years ago) Permalink

she had a gremlins backpack!

latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:25 (9 years ago) Permalink

How do you get a dead baby to float?
Put it in root beer?

dan is correct, but the original line is wrong; it should be "how do you make a dead baby float?"

carry on.

Your local source of bad ilx jokes for 2.5 years running (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:06 (9 years ago) Permalink

This is still retarded. A baby isn't really going to care if you play with your schlong, especially since in a couple months the baby will be doing basically the same thing fifteen hours a day; you guys are acting like an infant can tell the difference between sexuality and just, like scratching. That said, I can't imagine any situation in which a masturbating person would need or want to have visual contact with a baby. If you absolutely couldn't leave the room, you could just, like, put the baby in its crib and go sit kinda out of view, preferably while the baby's sleeping or something.

I say that less for the baby's sake and more for the masturbator's, and I say that as someone who can't even masturbate if there's, like, a cat looking, or something.

nabiscothingy, Monday, 5 December 2005 20:07 (9 years ago) Permalink

anyway i think the worst part is you knowing the baby being there and still doing it. i mean, that's like sick. it's almost as bad as shagging in a room where there's a huge photo of your parents somewhere in it.

-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), Today 9:33 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)

what if it's like, rolled up in a tube and lost in the back of the closet?

I have to side with tuomas's here. first off, because of the whole lack of awareness thing. and second, of what he said here:

"And I still wonder if there's a difference in how people view masturbating in a room where there is a baby, and having sex in such a room. Because, even though masturbation is considered okay these days, there's still a special stigma attached to it that enhances the "yuck"-factor."

i'm sure a greater number of people see masturbating with the baby present as wrong than two people having sex. I'm pretty much sure my folks did it with me in the room. and i dont think i'd care if my uncle jerked himself off while babysitting me. i really can't see how it would make one bit of difference.

AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:39 (9 years ago) Permalink

i'm sure a greater number of people see masturbating with the baby present as wrong than two people having sex.

Oh yes, just look at all of the posts here advocating boning by the baby.

Dan (This Is Why God Created Kitchen Tables) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:43 (9 years ago) Permalink

Every day I worry a little bit more about the mental health of the people who post here, I swear to god. You know what? Who gives a crap, why people think it's gross? What the hell is the matter with a person who DOESN'T think it's a little creepy to crank it or fuck next to a baby??? For crying out loud, it's just disturbing, people. This is a no brainer. Why is there an argument?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:47 (9 years ago) Permalink

Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to meet every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real.
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mould,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight won't do,
Never backs down when he sees what is true,
Tells it all straight, and means it all too.
Going forward and knowing he's right,
Even when doubted for why he would fight,
Over and over he makes his case clear,
Reaching to touch the ones who won't hear.
Growing in strength he won't be unnerved,
Ever assuring he'll stand by his word.
Wanting the world to join his firm stand,
Bracing for war, but praying for peace,
Using his power so evil will cease,
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must.

Dan (IE, Crank It Next To A Baby) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:49 (9 years ago) Permalink

THAT'S what he's saying in Lullaby?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:52 (9 years ago) Permalink

That's what you get when you slow down the oddly-reverbed snare hit from the remix.

Dan (You Also Get Feline AIDS) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:08 (9 years ago) Permalink

I don't think anyone is ADVOCATING the "presence of infant" approach, but if it happened (SOMEHOW, I kind of can't imagine, but WHATEVER) it seems incredibly unlikely to me that it would matter one whit to an infant. It's absolutely true, look at the historical record of whole families sharing one- or two-room dwellings! I think, based on random reading about standards of mothing, that the norm had changed by oh, late medieval-ish times in Western Europe as the general definition of "household" changed from the whole contributing group (ie extended family and unrelated laborers, boarding clergy, wetnurses, etc etc) to focus on the immediate family, but one-room dwellings were the norm in other parts of the world for much longer (possibly still are in some...?).

Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:10 (9 years ago) Permalink


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