Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

WHAT TEH FUCK ARE YUO DOING?!?!?

That said, while I doubt any harm whatsoever is going to come to a baby who watches someone masturbate, it's still easy enough to maintain a little privacy and put the baby (or yourself) elsewhere. The baby shouldn't have to watch you jerk off, you know? So, you know, why not? Especially if it isn't your baby.

I hadn't even thought of that...

If you're babysitting, just call the parents and ask them if it's okay.

"Hi, Uncle Steve, I just wandered if it was... OK to... wank next to your baby?" - this is making me roffle like a madman.

(I know I'm offended but you can do time for it?)

Is it wrong for a couple to have sex while their baby is sleeping in the same room, knowing that the baby might wake up? Or if the baby isn't sleeping at all? Or for a couple to have sex in their bedroom, with their children sleeping in adjoining room, even though they might wake up and hear the noises? How are these things different from the original poster's question?

You forgot that it could have sperm in his eye.

EW!

I'm trying to think of all the posters who recently became a parent.

up and down their COCK.

with their genitals growing bigger and then stuff squirting out of it.

anyway i think the worst part is you knowing the baby being there and still doing it. i mean, that's like sick. it's almost as bad as shagging in a room where there's a huge photo of your parents somewhere in it.

dude i think it has.

During your baby's first month, she can focus only about 20cm to 30cm away

what if it's a boy?
i bet you he could see further. because boys are better. it's science.

"He was in and out and round about, doing this sort of thing all over the house, "

Impossible not to imagine this sentence as a lyric

During your baby's first month, she can focus only about 20cm to 30cm away

will make the future repressed memories of a shuffling blur moaning to itself in Finnish all the more mysterious

It's the rest of the song I worry about...

xpost You know what? The one big ILX fallacy (oo-er) is that Tuomas was the original poster...

i was trying to get at that if the baby can see you you're doing it too close to the baby

http://efukt.com/20614_Babysitting_Fail.html

ok, moving beyond vanilla stuff, would pissing/a2m/etc be ok in front of a child, 'because it woudln't understand'?
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, December 5, 2005 9:36 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwsDI6VBWzs

this simon guy

buncha squares

FAMILY groups are demanding The Janoskians apologise for the baby skit Little Britain star Matt Lucas slammed as ''repulsive'' and ''witless''.

In the sketch, uploaded to YouTube, members of the Glenroy boy band are seen simulating lewd acts in bus shelters, shopping centres and under escalators, with one member telling a mother "your baby's sexy''.

Leza Sullivan, of child protection group Bravehearts said: ''Simulating sexual acts in front of a child, and exposing a child to that, can be classed as sexual assault.

''Then, to make fun of it, and trivialise it, is appalling. But they took it one step too far when they started engaging actively with children.''

Bravehearts and the Australian Family Association said The Janoskians record label, Sony Music, should force their act to take the video down.

''The Sony brand should not be associated with this behaviour,'' Ms Sullivan said.

Anti-abuse lobby group, Safe Australia Movement, said the clip contains ''paedophilic references aimed at a six-week-old baby and her mother''.

''To harass a mother in such a way is abusive. Anyone that accepts this behavior is accepting abuse,'' said spokesman William Fagan.

But the group defended the video in a series of tweets on Wednesday night from their official Twitter account.

The five-member group said it didn't regret filming the video.

"OK guys so the hole (sic) purpose of public wanking is to see unseen reactions,'' the Janoskians said.

"It's never been done before and it's interesting to see reactions.

"For the people who think we took it to (sic) far have really closed minds about the subject.

"It was acting and if you couldn't tell we weren't really wanking. Not only the baby would never understand what's going on.

"The hole (sic) purpose was to see the mother's reaction ... and it was good. Definitely our favourite video.''

But Terri Kelleher, of the Australian Family Association, said the clip was ''highly offensive''.

''They should have been arrested,'' Ms Kelleher said.

Ms Kelleher added to calls for Sony to take action against the boy band and also urged parents to discourage their children from supporting The Janoskians, who are performing shows for touring giant, Live Nation, later this month.

Little Britain's Lucas took to Twitter on Wednesday night to slam the video.

''The group member claims that the baby sexually excites him and proceeds to stand by the pram while pretending to masturbate, to the obvious and not unreasonable distress of the baby's mother and grandmother,'' Lucas said.

''Am I too old to get it? Maybe I am. If so, I'm glad. It's repulsive.

''It's probably already criminal. It's certainly utterly witless.''

Sony Music did not respond to calls for comment before deadline.

christ when Matt Lucas calls you out on being repulsive and witless

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8554188288/h1477ED46/

I've totally farted on annoying kids before. but subtly, just sos I know about it, and they know about it maybe a little bit later when I'm safely away down the supermarket/bus/street

one of life's greatest pleasures tbr

crop dusting kids is really the only way to communicate with them in a language they understand

Important legal news.

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/08/europe/italy-supreme-court-masturbation/index.html

Italy's highest court has ruled that masturbation in public is not a crime, as long as it is not conducted in the presence of minors

IIRC the same law was already passed in the Netherlands?

It could have made the difference to the Brexit vote!

Just as a side light to show how the world changes, in most of the world and for most of history, poor families (meaning the vast majority) have lived in houses with one or perhaps two rooms, where everyone ate, slept and lived. That included minors along with adults. In northern Europe it often it included a few farm animals, too. Much sexual intercourse happened in those houses in spite of minors being present.

next level

https://www.romper.com/p/mom-who-breastfed-during-sex-has-a-powerful-response-for-her-critics-70099?utm_medium=owned&utm_campaign=romper&utm_source=facebook

Look, the Babybjorn was securely fastened, he'd just been fed, I really don't see why people are getting so uptight about my infant son's presence at the bestialitorgy.

and yet my wife won't let me eat a pizza during our coitus

DOUBLE STANDARD

I'm impressed by the implied mastery of physical logistics.

https://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2011/05/iStock_000013788911XSmall1.jpg

xpost Not to mention stamina. An entire pizza!

A new take, found in Elizabeth Von Arnim's The Caravaners

"My hearers will agree with me that such raptures are well enough in a young girl in a white gown, with blue eyes and the washed out virginal appearence one does not dislike at eighteen before Love the Artist has pounced on it and painted it pink, and they will also I think agree that the older and married women must take care to be at all times quiet. Ejaculations of a poetic or ecstatic nature should not, as a rule, pass their lips. They may ejaculate perhaps over a young baby (if it is their own) but that is the one exception; and there is a good reason for this one, the posession of a young baby implying as a general rule a corresponding youth in its mother. I do not think however that it is nice when a woman ejaculates over, say, her tenth young baby."

Jesus fuckin christ

(yes i know it's the alternate usage of 'ejaculate')

so that's where updike got it

updike started this thread??

Tuom Updike

is it bad to masturbate in a room where Nirvana's Nevermind (1991 alternative rock album whose cover shows a naked baby boy, Spencer Elden, swimming underwater with a U.S. dollar bill on a fishhook, in front of him, just out of his reach) is on prominent display?

i love ilx

Be assured, the baby pictured on the album cannot see you masturbating, for it is only a two dimensional representation and not a real baby.

It could be the Phantom Zone

the revive that needed to happen, kudos

as soon as I saw the thread pop back up, I knew