106. master the art of sincere apology even if you do not give a fuck irl
― it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link
80. Ditch your hard drive
Do what with it? You mean, throw it in a ditch? I think I might like to wipe it, reformat it, and see if I can use it again first.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link
187. self-administer a prostate exam
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link
http://blog.makezine.com/beercantabarmor_cc.jpg
for a second i thought it read "pantone" and i was all who is this guy
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link
188. self-diagnose prostate cancer
― it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link
See, I thought it said "Fatone" and I was like, uhhhhh . . .
ps to brownie apparently there is a wedding scheduled for 3:30 in the muni lot amongst the idiots Browns fans
― james cameron gargameled my boner for life (Pancakes Hackman), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link
195. commandeer the vehicle of a stranger by force (non-video game)
― it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
can this include alcoholism?
12. Perform hands-only CPR
Real men give mouth-to-mouth
― Brad C., Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:10 (fourteen years ago) link
I do believe I was roommates with beer can armor guy in college. I knew him when he was just coke can armor guy (I guess this was before he was 21). He would leave rotting meat under his bed and moldy towels in the closet. Whenever I'd bring my girlfriend around he'd glare at her like she was like some kind-of intruder by sake of her gender.
― Spectrum, Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:11 (fourteen years ago) link
107. Glare at opposite sex
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link
pancakes, message in ILNFL 4 u
― voices from the manstep (brownie), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link
108. Remove Bookmark from this Thread
― max, Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:17 (fourteen years ago) link
44. Treat a burn
important ilx skill
― it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:24 (fourteen years ago) link
u guys as i write this i am eating rice out of the pot i cooked (slightly burnt) it in. real men have no need for dishes.
― where are that man's pants? :-( (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link
but really i'm just in a hurry.
Not married, I assume.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
I hope when you wrote "rice" you meant "squirrel you strangled with your god-damned bare hands"
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:37 (fourteen years ago) link
genuine in-office roffles! I go to a meeting and shit turns hilarious.
― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Going wayyy upthread... I watched the whole series of "how to tie a tie", and not one of those knots is quite exactly the one that I tie. I keep watching the four-in-hand and half-windsor videos, but neither seem exactly like my (apparently special) knot. But neither are the results very different. I want my knot to have a NAME, damnit!
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link
how does yr knot go
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link
I... I can't describe it all with words and stuff. I suppose I could make a video.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link
But I'm not sure either myself or anyone else really cares that much.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
Ok, forget I mentioned it. :)
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:14 (fourteen years ago) link
haah ok
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:15 (fourteen years ago) link
Make a video and we can call it a "full kenan."
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link
kenan maybe it is a pratt aka shelby knot? iirc there are like 85 ways to knot a tie (topologically) but there are only 5 or so that are named
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link
double kenan
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.tcm.phy.cam.ac.uk/~ym101/tie4/tie4.html
^ nerd alert
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:20 (fourteen years ago) link
holy shit, that link is like catnip to me (and I don't wear ties that often)
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Ah ha. Yeah, seems like a shelby, though I don't start the way they do in this video, with the shit all backwards and shit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ4Rb_mYKS0
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:22 (fourteen years ago) link
That would be a good bit of masculine marketing if only those were a woman's hands.
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link
And if it were The Edge instead of a mannequin.
heh... I got that.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link
in defense of that popular science list (not the way it's written or every item on it), my stepdad was a popular science kinda dude. he knew his way around every imaginable tool and scientific discipline, in a knowledgeable layman's "here are the basics" sort of way. he knew all about surviving arcane emergencies and how to tie hundreds of different knots, could repair cars and household appliances and plumbing and electrical systems. had a head full of mathematical formulae and conversion tables and useful phrases in foreign languages. was not a cook, but had memorized a few favorite recipes he could execute expertly. knew the name of every plant, animal, constellation and cloud formation.
he just liked to know his way around stuff. it was definitely an ego thing for him, but one with tangible benefits. he was great to go camping or fishing with, a godsend in real emergencies of any kind, and i learned a hell of a lot from him. always kinda regretted not being more like him in that sense, but i'm not. therefore, i'm kinda cool with a lot of the stuff on that PS list and with its general intent, though yeah it's written very badly.
― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Thursday, 10 December 2009 22:21 (fourteen years ago) link
holy shit i forgot about fucking speed buggy until just now
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:40 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
that seems like an experience one would remember forever
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:42 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark
especially if you're this guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTiVO8kbEvc
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Thursday, 10 December 2009 22:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Should we expand this to images of masculinity in pop tunes? Like, say, your top 40/young country hits about "bein' a man"? As contrasted with James Brown or Jarvis?
― kingfish, Thursday, 10 December 2009 23:57 (fourteen years ago) link
I think Jarvis is a little more in a grey area than James Brown or [insert male country artist here]. Jarvis is kind of the embodiment of "My dick is where? This is too rich."
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Friday, 11 December 2009 00:19 (fourteen years ago) link
^ i don't know what this means, but it's my new display name.
― the embodiment of "My dick is where? This is too rich." (Whitey on the Moon), Friday, 11 December 2009 01:09 (fourteen years ago) link
the dick in in a tub of creme fraîche? how is that good?
― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Friday, 11 December 2009 01:43 (fourteen years ago) link
i think table is the table has already taken that one tbh xp
― what u think i steen for to push a crawfish? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 11 December 2009 14:10 (fourteen years ago) link
LOL - the Shelby is named after an incredibly cool Twin Cities anchordude.
― special vixens unit (suzy), Friday, 11 December 2009 14:17 (fourteen years ago) link
Re: BBQ and how to eat it, from Joseph Mitchell:
It didn't take women long to corrupt the beefsteak. They forced the addition of such things as Manhattan cocktails, fruit cups, and fancy salads to the traditional menu of slices of ripened steaks, double lamb chops, kidneys, and beer by the pitcher. They insisted on dance orchestras instead of brassy German bands. The life of the party at a beefsteak used to be the man who let out the most ecstatic grunts, drank the most beer, ate the most steak, and got the most grease on his ears, but women do not esteem a glutton, and at a contemporary beefsteak it is unusual for a man to do away with more than six pounds of meat and thirty glasses of beer. Until around 1920, beefsteak etiquette was rigid. Knives, forks, napkins, and tablecloths never had been permitted; a man was supposed to eat with his hands. When beefsteaks became bisexual, the etiquette changed. For generations men had worn their second-best suits because of the inevitability of grease spots; tuxedos and women appeared simultaneously. Most beefsteaks degenerated into polite banquets at which open-face sandwiches of grilled steak happened to be the principal dish. However, despite the frills introduced by women, two schools of traditional steak-dinner devotees still flourish. They may conveniently be called the East Side and West Side schools. They disagree over matters of menu and etiquette, and both claim that their beefsteaks are the more classical or old-fashioned.
When beefsteaks became bisexual, the etiquette changed. For generations men had worn their second-best suits because of the inevitability of grease spots; tuxedos and women appeared simultaneously. Most beefsteaks degenerated into polite banquets at which open-face sandwiches of grilled steak happened to be the principal dish. However, despite the frills introduced by women, two schools of traditional steak-dinner devotees still flourish. They may conveniently be called the East Side and West Side schools. They disagree over matters of menu and etiquette, and both claim that their beefsteaks are the more classical or old-fashioned.
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Friday, 11 December 2009 17:50 (fourteen years ago) link
bisexual beefsteaks, huh
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 11 December 2009 17:59 (fourteen years ago) link
I suppose this wasn't enough to set off your satire-ometer:
at a contemporary beefsteak it is unusual for a man to do away with more than six pounds of meat and thirty glasses of beer.
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:04 (fourteen years ago) link
tbh when the dicks get to swingin' it's hard to distinguish satire from self-parody sometimes
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:08 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't think the entire thing is full-on satire but it certainly doesn't seem like something that wants to be taken seriously; it looks like it's dressing up commentary re: East Side and West Side steak cooking methods in "rawr we were real men then" humor.
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link
Well, it was written in 1939 about the beefsteaks of the 1920s (taken from this page on beefsteaks, but also from Mitchell's Up in the Old Hotel. I don't think of it as satire, as much as reporting on the guys who missed the old beefsteaks of yore.
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:16 (fourteen years ago) link