My mother's incredibly stupid ex-husband

I say "you lie like a kite" all the time

I realize that Chris' statement is couched in a long string of terrible behavior, but I have probably said something as dumb as "I can't turn my face into a heart " when arguing with my wife, if I was really tired or something.

in another context it could be kinda sweetly sad!

In the context I'm imagining that it would indeed sound stupid. I get terribly incoherent when I'm tired.

But yeah, it could be sweetly sad if it wasn't from Matos' mothers' ex-husband.

I'm sure Matt Groenig's got this thread bookmarked for inspiration.

"Ralph Wiggum: All Growed Up"

"Chris", coming soon to the Food network.

He can't change his face into a hearat.

There's a new kid in town: dumbest mohawk dude being a jerk at the coffee shop can he get any worse?

I just read this thread for the first time. Chris is my new god.

i had a burger at fuddrucker's today and couldn't stop thinking about this thread.

I've never seen this thread before but it's tremendous

It is exceptionally essential.

Revive in honor of Father's Day!

hahaha

much love, Matos.

Just restoring this thread to its proper place on the New Answers list.

My father. I'm sort of glad I've never met him as I've heard stories over the past decade or so.

Revive, because this thread never deserves to be buried for over two years.

ty, this was special

all-time

For any new ILXors, in he absence of any "up-to-speed" thread compilatons...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQESFx8V0Y

Just doin' my civic duty.

----I say "you lie like a kite" all the time

So do I! No-one ever has any idea what it means, it defuses arguments occasionally

best thread

You know, it never occured to me that this one is a bit odd:
2. One day, Chris was feeling amorous. My sisters were then around three and four (he's their father) and I wasn't home, so he said to my mother, "Hey Lorie--let's send the kids O-U-T-S-I-D-E so we can fuck."

If he wasnt there, who's telling this story, his sisters I guess? Or Chris relate this tale later? (which I wouldnt put past him, heh)

His mom? She told Matos a lot of these on the phone.

Oh yes of course.

This thread, on that note, had its tenth anniversary this past May. Scary!

all-time

"Big trubs! Purry Dubs!"

still classic

"Big trubs! Purry Dubs!" still goes through my head on a regular basis.

"You know, you're wasting electricity by turning the lights on and off when you leave the room, because it takes more power to do that than if you just left the light on all the time."

I remember a teacher in my elementary school saying the same thing back in the 80s. Was this a widespread myth at some point?

The idea probably comes from fluorescent lights, which do need a brief power spike to excite the plasma. The integral of this power spike is probably negligible. Turning on and off frequently could more quickly bring about a failure mode, though.

yeah i think this was only ever true of the type of lights they had in institutional buildings... classrooms, hospitals, etc.

my gf does tell me not to turn the TV off if I'm going to turn it on again w/in 30 minutes but i'm prett skeptical.

anyway i had forgotten this thread. good times. where is matos now?

I remember a teacher in my elementary school saying the same thing back in the 80s. Was this a widespread myth at some point?

i think so. i definetely used to think this. it's called lazy justifications for laziness syndrome, probably (http://rebelzen.com/2008/09/10-reasons-why-being-a-lazy-dude-is-actually-a-good-thing/ NUMBER 1, in a way)