Saturday Night Live

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Buffcoat and Beaver or Beaver and something else (jeff), Monday, 20 October 2008 17:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

calhoun is a recurring character from a while back (i think i remember forte doing him as one of his first parts when he was added to the show) but they use him sparingly

metametadata (n/a), Monday, 20 October 2008 17:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

The Guest/Crystal/Short/Shearer season was easily the funniest, but it was also very traditional and unzeitgeisty.

M.V., Monday, 20 October 2008 17:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah but that makes it still funny, 25 years later

akm, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

Challenging opinion: there is not nearly as much variation in the quality of SNL seasons as the arguing public would like to pretend.

― nabisco, Monday, October 20, 2008 1:53 PM (18 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i dunno, can you show me anything from the last 10 years or so that's as funny as norm macdonald weekend updates or frank gannon p.i. p.i. or the sly stone car accident bit or grayson moorhead securities or

Jay Mohr: Hey, look at this polar bear cage. Hey, you think I can swim the little moat both ways before the bear eats me?

Adam Sandler: Five bucks says you can't.

Jay Mohr: All right. Read 'em and weep, my friend!

[Mohr jumps the railing into the polar bear pit. He disappears from view and we hear a loud splash as he hits the water below.]

Norm MacDonald: "Read 'em and weep"? You say "Read 'em and weep" before you lay down your cards in poker, not before you jump into a polar bear cage.

Tim Meadows: Yeah, okay, Mr. Dictionary.

Norm MacDonald: "Mr. Dictionary"? How does knowing about poker make me "Mr. Dictionary"?

Tim Meadows: Ah, no, I wasn't talking to you.

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

the norm macdonald weekend updates were some funny shit

akm, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

unfrozen caveman lawyer, who's more grizzled, sinatra group...

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

I've loled more at this season than I have in a long time. Space Olympics, Wahlberg, etc. Plus I have a mega-crush on Casey Wilson.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

george f will's sports machine XD

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

mike myers/heather locklear racist infomercial

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

[ "Grayson Moorhead Securities. A Tradition of Excellence." ]

Narrator: On Wall Street, trendy investment fads have come and gone over the years, but not at Grayson Moorhead, where we've always stuck to the basic principles set forth by Arthur Grayson nearly 80 years ago.

Arthur Grayson: Our clients must be our first priority.

[ "The Tradition Endures" ]

We will take our client's money and invest it. Part of the profit we will keep for ourselves; the rest we will give to the client.

[ "A Tradition of Security" ]

We will make a list of our clients, and how much money each of them has given us to invest. We will keep this list in a safe place. If we have time, we will make a copy of the list, in case something happens to the first list.

[ "A Tradition of Listening" ]

Listen to your client. It's the only way to know what he's saying.

[ "A Tradition of Trust" ]

If a client is talking, and you're not listening, and he notices, and he accuses you of not listening, just say, "Sure, I've been listening, I've heard every word you've said." If he then says, "Alright, tell me what I've been talking about." Just say, "You've been talking about your investments. Which stocks to buy and so on." That way the client will think you've been listening, even though you haven't.

[ "A Tradition of Integrity" ]

We will invest only in white-owned businesses.

Narrator: Not all of Arthur Grayson's principles are followed today, but at Grayson Moorhead we still believe in the basics.

Arthur Grayson: Don't leave the client's money lying around. Keep it in a safe place. For example: where we keep the list.

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94bparadox.phtml

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

ONE BIG DOOR

some dude, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

ONE BIG DOOR.

― some dude, Thursday, June 26, 2008 12:17 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

some dude, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

I have no tolerance, gang, for anyone who commits arson.

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

I was just looking at the transcript page for a 97 episode that featured a Goat Boy sketch, a cheerleader sketch, AND a Roxbury guys sketch. there really was a time when Norm was totally holding shit down by himself.

― some dude, Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:00 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

i will still ride for lazy sunday but yes white people rap lol is played whoooo

BIG HOOS was a communisteen orgadriver (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

Natalie Portman's rap is classic too.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

Winston-McCauley Funeral Home

Winston-McCauley Spokesperson.....Phil Hartman

Spokesperson: Care, compassion, dedication. These are the things we can promise you at Winston-McCauley Funeral Home. And there's one other thing we can promise: that we will not have sex with any dead body. How can we guarantee this level of service? First, we rigorously test our applicants for aptitude and intelligence.. and also to make sure they don't have the urge to have sex with dead bodies. And, if any of our employees fails to live up to our standards, he can be suspended, without pay, for up to six months. And, if that's not enough, you have my personal assurance that if you can prove that your loved one was the victim of post-mortem sex, I will discount your bill with us for a full $1,000. That's the Winston-McCauley Guarantee.

Announcer: Care. Compassion. Dedication. And absolutely No Sex. Winston-McCauley Funeral Home.

velko, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

God, you kids were weaned on shit.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76imrmike.phtml

Dr Morbius, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

Predictable.

jaymc, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91tgannon.phtml

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

Jim Belushi was doing lol white people rap on SNL 23 years ago. Yikes.

Little Hussein (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/06/06ihiphop.phtml

I love this skit a little too much.

Pipe Wrench Fight (HI DERE), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

Natalie Portman's rap is classic too.

― jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, October 20, 2008 2:12 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

take it to stuff white ppl like; that was like the most unfunny viral bullshit of the past several years as far as i'm concerned.

i will say the mark wahlberg talks to animals sketch was a) hilarious b) gave me a little more respect for andy samberg.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

S Chow = Rex Reed Award-winning reverse barometer of comedy

Hmm, that's not very funny either.

Spencer Chow, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

Tim Calhoun always reminds me of this guy slowed down a notch:

(Also LOL at Bud Cummins listed as being from ARizona.)

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

The show has always had a couple good sketches and a ton of bad ones. It's hit and miss but there's usually at least one good moment - even Tim Kazurinsky had Dr. Jack Badofsky.

Spencer Chow, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

xxpost I have been making everyone I know watch the Walhberg skit. Sometimes the reaction is like, "AWESOME" and sometimes it's like "Oooooo-kay" but I think it's just great.

I've been talking to my animals like this lately. "So you're a cat, huh? What's up with that?"

crusty but benign (kenan), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

Also, a person's reaction to whether Kristen Wiig is funny is a litmus test for something I haven't figured out yet.

Spencer Chow, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

I married a monkey was kazurinski's other good bit. although the monkey was probably funnier than him.

akm, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

There are totally fluctuations in quality, but I find it weird the way conversations about it are constantly about how the show has been LOL Saturday Night DEAD for X period and is suddenly back on its feet, despite the fact that someone else is always claiming it was totally on for X period and actually sucks now. I can't really account for this except to guess that (a) there are just periods of head-writership where the tone appeals to some people and not others, and (b) no matter what year you're talking about, there are always a few funny-ass things and a lot of crap that doesn't work, and your decision about which of those things to focus on probably has less to do with quality and more to do with whether you want to like the show at that moment or not. (Cf the fact that people who go on about how crappy it's been for X years are saying this to explain why they don't watch it anyway, so ...)

I might also suggest here that the periods of the show's goodness or non-goodness actually have less to do with the quality of the writing or the greatness of the performers and more to do with some weird sense of confidence radiating from the show itself. E.g., the period where Fey + Fallon were doing Weekend Update was fun to watch, but I don't remember it being because the writing was head and shoulders above anything else -- it just seemed more like the show was kinda loose and confident and unclenched and enjoying itself, which makes the whole exercise more pleasant (and lets one enjoy, e.g., some crappy sketch where Horatio Sanz starts giggling and the whole thing falls apart anyway).

nabisco, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

SNL quality is inversely proportional to the length of the sketches. The shorter they are, the better the show.

SNL is better this season than it has in the past couple of years, but I think that's more due to the cast making dodgy writing better rather than the other way around.

Chris Barrus (Elvis Telecom), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/90/90hgame.phtml

also awesome

xpost: omg it's just like conversations about *insert long-running television show here*!

Pipe Wrench Fight (HI DERE), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

i will say the mark wahlberg talks to animals sketch was a) hilarious b) gave me a little more respect for andy samberg.

Me too. When Wahlberg started talking to the donkey I think it was a perfect moment.

I'm not going to argue about when the show was at it's peak because that just seems as interesting as new discussions of rockism.

Nicole, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

kristin wiig can be really funny, but most of her characters (target lady, lady who can't keep a sectret, lady who has to out-do everyone) are reall unfunny, mad tv type shit, that for some reason recur way too much.

mizzell, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

you probably just stroke it

conrad, Monday, 20 October 2008 18:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

kristin wiig can be really funny
Did she do any television between Joe Schmoe and SNL?

The period where Fey + Fallon were doing Weekend Update was fun to watch, but I don't remember it being because the writing was head and shoulders above anything else -- it just seemed more like the show was kinda loose and confident and unclenched and enjoying itself, which makes the whole exercise more pleasant (and lets one enjoy, e.g., some crappy sketch where Horatio Sanz starts giggling and the whole thing falls apart anyway).
Ha, like the Jerry McGuire sequel sketch?

Retrato Em Redd E Blecch (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 20 October 2008 18:52 (6 years ago) Permalink

Horatio Sanz is a crime against humanity.

Nicole, Monday, 20 October 2008 19:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

I liked the thing where he pretended to be Billy Joel giving somebody a ride home.

Retrato Em Redd E Blecch (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 20 October 2008 19:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

hey chicken, some people wanna eat you, but i just wanna talk to you <--- high level of comedy forever

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 20 October 2008 19:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

I liked the time I watched a season premiere episode and didn't see his name in the opening credits.

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 20 October 2008 19:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

Sanz is one of the only people I would get really Shakey Mo about if he died. The others would be people like Rush Limbaugh or Dick Cheney.

Nicole, Monday, 20 October 2008 19:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

that was my favorite line, ally!

horseshoe, Monday, 20 October 2008 19:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

Eh, better Horatio Sanz than Carlos Mencia.

Pipe Wrench Fight (HI DERE), Monday, 20 October 2008 19:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

i partied with horatio sanz & hes a bro + suprisingly introverted/reflective

and what, Monday, 20 October 2008 19:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Dan, that's like saying better Stalin than Hitler.

Nicole, Monday, 20 October 2008 19:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/80/80a.phtml

This is the all-time worst show they ever had.

Pipe Wrench Fight (HI DERE), Monday, 20 October 2008 19:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

i was too busy hating fallon to get around to hating sanz

collardio gelatinous, Monday, 20 October 2008 19:12 (6 years ago) Permalink


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