P.E./Gym class activities - c/d

"Boner?" asked Sonya. "What's a boner?"

Debra, sensing comedy gold, says, "Oh, that's just something girls get every now and then," and REFUSES TO ELABORATE.

About a week later, Sonya sidles up to Debra in the hallway and says, "Debra? Don't tell anyone, but I think I got a boner."

Debra, of course, immediately ran down the hallway shouting "SONYA'S GOT A BONER! SONYA'S GOT A BONER!" while Sonya ran behind her saying, "Shhhh! Don't tell everyone! Shhh!" Bedlam and pandemonium ensued.

I drew several cartoons commemorating this incident that were classic not so much for their subject matter but for my limited art skills; the best one was the one with the owl in a tree asking a girl with a suspicious bulge raising the front of her skirt "What's wrong?" and the girl replying "I think I got a boner." Why an owl? Because I couldn't draw more than one distinct person and I wasn't going for the pervy twin angle.

We had to do PE and sport as well - PE was like the class subject, whereas sport was all Weds afternoon. PE usually ended up being shit like basketball, gymnastics and some theoretical stuff, or... you know, I don't even remember, I think I blocked it all out.

Sport was where you got to choose what you wanted to do from a list of things, I hated all forms of sport and exercise as they served nothing but to humiliate anyone unpopular or at all weak/different. But we got to do ice skating, squash and table tennis in later years, that ruled pretty hard.

We didnt have a pool but swimming and track n field happened at least once a year as a school contest, which I also hated becaue I can neither swim nor run, but we were forced to attend nontheless, and sit around getting horribly sunburnt.

In year 10 I developed some kind of liver problem and was medically forbidden to exercise for 12 months. That was the best.

Dud: The Mile, of course. I've never been diagnosed, but I'm sure I have some kind of exercise triggered ass-mar. It's so frustrating to have your legs and everything in good condition and then finish only like 30 secs ahead of the pudgiest boy (well, the pudgiest boy that could finish the thing).

I hated playing basketball until I was in HS, when a kindly coach actually took me aside and taught me fundamentals, such as how to shoot a basket. Believe it or not, this important task had not yet been taught to me. But once I was able to do those things, I was thrilled to play basketball in P.E.

Other fun P.E. activities -- volleyball, bowling (yes, we did bowling in P.E.), (HS) flag football, strength conditioning, hockey (minus the skates, prob due to liability reasoning or something).

Everything else I hated, from those stupid repetitive gym exercises (whoo, sprinting to Pat Benatar PLEASE KILL ME NOW) to badminton (really bad news if you're a near-blind person such as myself) to any/all track activities to anything from before high school. And considering the fact that everyone at my HS was female, the whole "time of the month" excuse didn't fly. Also, the time of day our P.E. class was to be held was pretty much determined by how good you were at P.E. The first year I had P.E. I was in the last (i.e. 7th) period of the day, and then in the second year (we had to have two years' worth of P.E.) I was moved up to 4th period, which was conveniently before lunch.

My child is in gym right now, the teacher isn't nice but is real popular with the administrators. My kid is athletic but is bullied. I wish I could change the classes.

I would love to pull the kid out of school but don't want to upset them.