Society is in the gutter

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (700 of them)

velko, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

I stole that BB8 guide - it said "you need it and it's free", so I took it and left the Heat magazine behind at the newsagents.

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

Then I mugged a pensioner, filmed 'im rolling around on the pavement, and posted it on YouTube. Then I went back to Eton.

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

What a bloody waste.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

People knew where they stood. Sure times were hard but things were things and that was important.

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

People don't know who their bloody neighbours are.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

(xxpost) I sold his false teeth on e-b4y.

We used to have a mangle.

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

You could put one foot in front of the other repeatedly to get to a location of your choice. These days you can't walk down the bloody street.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

it's time for change

Surmounter, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

at least you had streets, in my day we just had caves, but we all looked out for each other

velko, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

A knife. One times this kid can't remember his name brought a knife to school. We all of us just stared at it. Then we looked at the kid.

Nowadays...

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

Its a ruddy disgrace. You used to be able to borrow a cupful of sugar without getting a punch in the face.

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

These days, "texting" is passed off as genuine communication.

wanko ergo sum, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

something must be done. real action. the politicians are too busy straightening bananas with the brussels elite. REAL ACTION.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

I used to knew all the names of the boys at school but now when I walk past I don't know who any of them are. Society has literally been dissolved in a vat of acid

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

The sky seemed different. And the birds. The birds!

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

i remember when you would stop in the street, on your way to the market, and find yourself in immersed in hour-long conversations. now it's just an awkward smile, a pained nod.

Surmounter, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

A shiv in the guts.

ledge, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

Society has gone mad with its own sense of self importance, and taken a high jump from the nearest cliff. Now its corpse lies rotting in a ditch, having been stripped for clothes and parts by Eastern European tramps.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

In my day there was no heart trouble but these days i suffer from heart disease, angina, and youths are literally breaking society apart with their bare hands

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

Society can regularly be seen flailing around the streets late at night, looking for another party.

30 years ago society was an altar boy with a side parting. It was a great time to be alive!

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

We would wake up in the morning. Later we would go to bed at night. I never heard anyone question it.

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

we used to make things in this country, now everybody's got his hand in the other guy's pocket. literally!

goole, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

it used to be, you got married, you stayed married. now, who knows??

max, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

gangs of thug youths are literally eating society and shitting out blocks of pure despair

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

prices are rising, the celtic tiger has accidentally ingested the credit crunch. now society totters about like ronnie wood in high heels after a 3 day cocaine dinner.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

when i was a child, the only homosexuals i knew were arabs, and we chased them out of town with elm branches. now, i wake up every day to see homosexuals on tv, the radio, sometimes even on my back patio, engaging in unspeakable acts.

max, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

you can't even be sure of your own sexuality anymore. society has become an endless freddie mercury sex tape, stuck in the broken video recorder that passes for real values nowadays.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

times used to be you could spend an afternoon with a young lad and not have it questioned by the papers and the young lads mother

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

Kids today with their Teacake Mix and Premark - my mum made all our clothes out of used spaghetti

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

We listened to the radio. I'm talking about LISTENING.

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

every night we'd gather around the radio to listen to the weekly wrestling matches between roosevelt and churchill

max, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

what is with all of the child rape nowadays? this used to be illegal, now it's practically demanded of you. it's literally on youtube and on the chat rooms every day.

goole, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

if you'd told me a child was being abused 30 years ago, I wouldn't have believed you!

x-post you're right, LISTENING. people LISTENED. they LISTENED.

Local Garda, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

whatever happened to courting? cotillions? gowns? these days society's lost in a haze of match dot toms and katies, swimming in a sea of cars that swerve all over the road.

Surmounter, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

All this million channel cable TV and internet and your wireless phone from that disgusting bloke who is that older woman's toyboy in them adverts, when I was a lad we didn't even have TV. My old man used to put an empty cereal box on his head and pretend it was a TV set, and then read from the papers our chips were wrapped in.

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

when i was younger, there was no such thing as irony, and if there was, no decent person had ever heard of it. now--its irony in the shower, irony for breakfast, irony in your afternoon nap. irony has literally kidnapped everything good and decent and tied it to a chair and literally beaten it.

max, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

There were no steroids in baseball. I'm talking about in the days before Jackie Robinson.

wanko ergo sum, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

My sister I looked out for her. And my brother too. My father he was a good man.

Now I don't even remember their names.

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

What passes for entertainment now would literally kill a man from The Past. He would see entertainment, and then melt into a small pile of ash. Society has been fed to godless, homosexual sharks.

call all destroyer, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

society isn't even in the gutter anymore since the hogs and spivs of the EU ruled our gutters illegal and took them away

the gutter is too good for them

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

I used to have to murder tramps so that I could steal their empty gin bottles to get the deposit back from the off license. Now when people stab up a tramp they don't even bother to nick his shoes to sell to the mad shoe collecting man down the street.

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

miscegenation!

max, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

One time when I was four or five, I don't know, I saw a house burn down. It was our neighbors house. Point is he, him and his family, he was our NEIGHBOR.

ice crӕm, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

There used to be white dog shit on the pavements, now it's brown, and I'll tell you why! The EU communists have taken away our white dog shit and replaced it with brown!

snoball, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

and now who would it be? it could literally be anyone. he might be burning a house down right now and laughing. laughing! he may as well be laughing at society itself.

i might as well laugh at society, join in with them! when good men burn down houses and laugh at society its time for a war

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

nowadays if angelina jolie is in the gutter, society gets in too. if she climbs out of the gutter, it stands up and dusts itself off. it used to be there were consistent ideas, about culture, art, thought. now we just dig our graves alongside the spectres of society's future, and leave the past to the likes of Rita Hayworth.

Surmounter, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

it used to be that a man like Mickey Rooney was a handsome darling to man and woman alike, now it's all eleven foot spaniards who spend all day riding an excercize machine, bulging testicles on every billboard, it's an affront to every woman who leaves her home.

goole, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

time was that satanists were round up and had it beaten out of them. now they sit in brussels laughing at society as they parcel it up and throw it in the sea

Parish Priest!, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

(PP! & LG are kind of killing us here guys)

goole, Monday, 25 August 2008 20:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

beyond self-parody

It’s Ed Sheeran and Rudimental rather than Rufige Kru.

guess he slept on that Goldie remix of the real red Ed

nashwan, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 12:27 (1 month ago) Permalink

supermarket check-out operatives replaced by crap robots… unexpected item in bagging area… every surface plastered with corporate graffiti and haranguing hashtags

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 12:31 (1 month ago) Permalink

Everything seen through a downer haze… “Mostly you self-medicate” … comfort eating and bitter drinking …. What’s your poison?

an ellipsis between every four or five words... no full sentences... ground control to major tom... mcdonalds... that go compare ad... #bringbackourgirls ... tracksuits... smaller chocolate bars

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 12:33 (1 month ago) Permalink

walk out of the house... "you can always go... downtown" - figure of speech... figure of eight... figure of fun... britain's got... talent put on an old vinyl - val doonigan... toilet still works... for now ... mcluhan ... microwave curry... please sir can i have some more

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 12:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

i actually hadn't even read this bit before i wrote those:

Time for one more, Nigel?

Time, gentlemen, please ….

There is no time … Time is on your side (yes it is) …

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 12:43 (1 month ago) Permalink

this is how it's done

an absolute feast of hardcore fanboy LOLs surrounding (imago), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 13:11 (1 month ago) Permalink

also there's a new pre-new album out

an absolute feast of hardcore fanboy LOLs surrounding (imago), Tuesday, 12 May 2015 13:12 (1 month ago) Permalink

Time out...time waits for no mandate...timestretch...what the time dred?...how does my dog smell the time? dreadful!

nashwan, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 13:18 (1 month ago) Permalink

Just reading these in the 'Fitter, Happier' voice.

UKIP leaflets in a litter bin at Manningtree station, Essex, on Wednesday

Matt DC, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 13:25 (1 month ago) Permalink

At least in the pre-internet days when you were in youthful idiocy stage, on speed talking absolute nonsense or writing bad poetry there was no permanent record to come back and haunt you.

xelab, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 14:32 (1 month ago) Permalink

tayto fan (Michael B), Thursday, 21 May 2015 17:52 (1 month ago) Permalink

lol i was just thinking about this thread. some classic quotes imo.

surm, Thursday, 21 May 2015 18:36 (1 month ago) Permalink

McWilliams is the perfect nothing fuckwith to bookend the Celtic tiger.

thoughts you made second posts about (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 May 2015 18:38 (1 month ago) Permalink

He did alright for himself in its aftermath

tayto fan (Michael B), Thursday, 21 May 2015 19:32 (1 month ago) Permalink

yeah but I mean consider the validity of the measure

thoughts you made second posts about (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 May 2015 20:22 (1 month ago) Permalink

Society may be in the gutter but it used to be in the sewer

©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 21 May 2015 20:24 (1 month ago) Permalink

Anyway, we're missing the point. What are we to do with this nationwide infestation of Bebo clones and boy-racers??

tayto fan (Michael B), Thursday, 21 May 2015 20:30 (1 month ago) Permalink

everywhere i look a 9-yr old has an ipad now. i don't even have an ipad. what's wrong with this picture.

surm, Monday, 25 May 2015 04:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

cyber children roam the streets, roided up on data

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 May 2015 11:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

smothered in their data cocoon, they forget the use of speech and mindmeld with their robot brethren through the furious click-clacking of computer keys

tayto fan (Michael B), Monday, 25 May 2015 12:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

this generation has long ago "swiped left" on morals and values

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 May 2015 12:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

gleefully dismantling society "piece by piece"? there's an "app" for that

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 May 2015 12:36 (1 month ago) Permalink

we "liked" things in my day too. we "liked" them. oh we "liked" them alright.

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 May 2015 12:39 (1 month ago) Permalink

you used to have to type a number on your smartphone, now you just pull a nasty face at a pensioner and it'll speed dial your whole gang

an absolute feast of hardcore fanboy LOLs surrounding (imago), Monday, 25 May 2015 12:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

i stuck my penis in the headphone jack of my smartphone the other day - not a policeman in sight. i did it again. nothing. i called them to tell them i'd done it - not their problem, not me guv.

bureau belfast model (LocalGarda), Monday, 25 May 2015 12:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

i can't figure out how to snap a chat for the life of me. i got one the other day and nearly had a seizure. when i was a kid, we could chat without the wonders of visual editing technology.

surm, Monday, 25 May 2015 16:15 (1 month ago) Permalink

I remember when a Yorkie could barely fit in your hand. 'Tis all downsizing and up-pricing these days....

tayto fan (Michael B), Thursday, 28 May 2015 14:06 (1 month ago) Permalink

Seriously though, smaller Yorkies are a fucking travesty

tayto fan (Michael B), Thursday, 28 May 2015 14:18 (1 month ago) Permalink

remember when lifesavers used to be hard?

surm, Saturday, 30 May 2015 19:38 (1 month ago) Permalink

My google search for "Bebo Clone" was dissappointing.

Sanpaku, Saturday, 30 May 2015 21:58 (1 month ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

taking a b.m. in b&m

bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 17 June 2015 11:37 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Fucking hell.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 17 June 2015 12:10 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

siitg Brazilian style

2011’s flagrantly ceremonious rock-opera (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 30 June 2015 13:19 (5 days ago) Permalink

"percussionista lesbica"?

Number None, Tuesday, 30 June 2015 13:28 (5 days ago) Permalink

needs more teeth

rahrah avis (imago), Tuesday, 30 June 2015 13:32 (5 days ago) Permalink

don't worry, Alan Titchmarsh is here to save us

TITCHMARSH'S MANIFESTO FOR BRITAIN: CELEBRITY GARDENER PLEDGES TO RESTORE COMMON SENSE TO PARLIAMENT

1. Election campaigns to last one day - not five weeks.

2. Anyone who throws litter out of a car will spend a week working at the local tip.

3. Sell-by dates on food and antibacterial wipes will be abolished. Food lasts longer than you think and you need to build up your antibodies in the interests of not being a burden on the NHS.

4. Poldark will be screened every Sunday evening throughout the year

5. Wire coat-hangers will be banned

6. If you chop down a tree you plant another five to replace it.

7. All children will have lessons in nature and gardening from the ages of five through to 18.

8. Tweeting is to be outlawed and a charge of £100 a year levied on those who feel the need to go on Facebook.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3144377/Watch-Cameron-Alan-Titchmarsh-reveals-ambition-MP-calls-Poldark-screened-year-bans-sell-dates-Twitter.html#ixzz3eYWKZK15
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

soref, Tuesday, 30 June 2015 14:31 (5 days ago) Permalink

RIP DM twitter feed

Keith Moom (Neil S), Tuesday, 30 June 2015 14:34 (5 days ago) Permalink

remember when he lost his cool at cesar millan

rahrah avis (imago), Tuesday, 30 June 2015 15:09 (5 days ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.