people that YELP are scumbags

haha i like this review of safeway that just says "BAD"

every event has some repulsive cutesy title

hey guys both of the hy vees in des moines are well rated, so if you're getting groceries, i guess go there

do you all understand that we are yelping the yelpers

haha i like this review of safeway that just says "BAD"

― Peepoop Patel (harbl), Thursday, November 5, 2009 3:23 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Succinct and effective. I like it.

watchmen.jpg

xp

Cub Foods

Category: Grocery
1 star rating
9/27/2007
A guy I used to rock climb with was telling me one time: "Where Cub moves in, Rainbow moves out."

He was pleased by this, he preferred Cub.

I'd been shopping pretty happily at Rainbow, and if a non-rock climber had told me this, I wouldn't have paid it any mind. But this man was a fellow traveler in the ways of the rock, a connoisseur of the bliss that is a long stretch rugged mineral, a practitioner of that fine art of walking on air, held to this earthly matter by only his chalk stained hands and a delicate life line. In short, he was a better person than a non-rock climber, and therefore his opinion carried more weight.

So when the chance arose, I tried a Cub Foods.

You know how every grocery store on earth has the produce section right as you walk in the door, so you are greeted by a bounty of colored, fresh, enticing wholesome things? Cub has a huge wall of warehouse looking boxes, forcing you to do a sharp turn continue down a depressing, industrial passage.

You emerge from your passage of doom into a slightly less industrial main floor. Again, bucking the norm, the "aisles" have been arranged in a non-sensical passages that eliminate any coherent path you could take across this store. I've been to this exact location at least three times, and I couldn't tell you where to find a thing or draw you a map of the place's layout if my life depended on it.

I'm guessing they must have decent prices or something, because something brings the fat suburban hordes in there. I can't tell you if you can save an extra 5 cents on a can of high fructose corn syrup here; I honestly don't play close enough attention, and was probably trying to build a signal fire so that rescuers could find me instead of calculating if I was saving enough on my purchases of packaged gravy to afford the new 'Chicken Soup For the Soul' book over at Half-Price Books.

So if you feel dead inside, by all means, shop at this Cub Foods. But hell, why would you believe me. I'm a rock climber, and apparently we grocery stores falls outside our area of expertise.

People thought this was:

* Useful (2)
* Funny (3)
* Cool (4)

^^ dude wrote five reviews of the same bar fyi

I've been to this exact location at least three times, and I couldn't tell you where to find a thing or draw you a map of the place's layout if my life depended on it.

i get lost in grocery stores all the time

custos has moved on to yelp and has taken on dozens of new guises

felicity redwell is a good writer.

get out

yarly

http://www.yelp.com/user_details_reviews_self?userid=HFECrzYDpgbS5EmTBtj2zQ&rec_pagestart=1230

1233 reviews since msrch '07. that's roughly 1.3 per dsy 7 days a week and that is for real literally insane

he's only given five 1-star reviews and two are to religious institutions

http://www.yelp.com/topic/chicago-couple-o-yelpers-pwned-by-freakin-new-city-no-less

+1 Laura P. I have a degree in English and the article was basically nonsense to me.

Communication in modern culture is less about communicating and more about elitist posturing and showing off. That article is a prime example of it: an incomprehensible mess that lots of people pretend to understand because they don't want people to think they're stupid. Kind of like Crispin Glover's What is it? trilogy. The emperor has no clothes.

Maybe yr degree is faulty? Cuz I don't have one, and I thought it was pretty funny. Plus I don't think anyone claims to understand those CG flicks.

What is it about slow post offices?

Apparently, I was responding not to max but to some doink responding to the article, as transcribed by max. So, take that, doink responder.

I guess I just despise the people in that piece for their entitled yet ignorant hiveminding. Also memo to girl with English degree: if you have to mention your BA on Yelp, degree was issued on toilet paper amirite?

People who study English have entitlement issues. People who Yelp have entitlement issues. People who study English Yelp.

i studied english and fuck that imo

this thread remains U&K

am I the only person who, every time he sees yelp mentioned anywhere, automatically internally involuntarily thinks "people that yelp are scumbags"?

also I would like to say that If it's vagina in your face you are looking for..this place is paradise. should have immediately been made a board description

yeah i think that too, even though i don't actually agree with it (how else would i find hairdressers in new places?)

(ughhhhhhhhhhhh)

am I the only person who, every time he sees yelp mentioned anywhere, automatically internally involuntarily thinks "people that yelp are scumbags"?

Not at all.

Sanjang Coffee Garden

Do you ever find yourself barreling through traffic to pick up your date who you promised an enchanting and unique evening? In actuality, you are frantically yelping restaurants and coffee shops on the blackberry, which scrolls remarkably long and slow and you get a bunch of unhelpful reviews.

That happened to me last night. But then I remembered my "Ace in the hole/Go-to-guy" Dave A. Of course I have him on speed dial. He takes out all the sexy ladies and I knew he would know of a place.

So I called that hunky know-it-all and asked him where I should go. I am on pins and needles with excitement and anticipation by this time, and then in his calm and reassuring voice he says, "Sanjang".

Is this man omnipotent?!
I was just a couple of blocks away from that very location!

Thanks Dave A, I owe you one. Please save a spot on your dance card for me, and btw, what is your favorite flavor shaved ice?..."
So..here's the lowdown for anyone in my shoes tonight:

-Corner of 1st and Virgil. Valet Parking $1.50 well worth it.
-Chilly outdoor seating but w/ fireplaces and heaters and blankets provided
-Great Ramen Noodles and Curry ( get spicy)
-Pricey Drinks and really cool looking giant desserts ( yogurts, shaved ice)
-Cute but loud korean waiters
-Open til 2 am
-Non-alcoholic- think coffee, tea, desserts
-Super romantic
-Smell like bbq when you get home
-Good for a business meeting as well
-Ghetto neighborhood
-Spacious upstairs and downstairs
-Great for a big party

Was this review …?Useful(14) Funny(13) Cool(15

there is a yelp bingo card in my head now and one of the spaces is "ghetto"

Chan Dara

DAAAYYYYUM this place was PACKED on a Monday night! I went for Happy Hour at around 6 and it looked like everyone else had the same idea. I had been to Chan Dara before, for dinner, but it was soooo long ago I don't remember a thing. But when I heard about all the HH goodness, I knew I had to get back there ASAP to check it out. Apparently most of West LA already knew about it too, because they were all shoved into the bar area that night to get some. And it was pretty tight, cuz that area is small!

This was an eclectic group of peeps if I ever saw one. Everyone from the rockabilly tattooed crew to the Britney Spears video circa '99 I just walked out of Contempo chick, to the computer software analysts. Needless to say, awesome people watching! There was only one bartender working when we got there which seemed insane due to said crowd, but she kept her cool and even had some of her regulars helping out by taking drink orders and passing them out. Another cute girl bartender showed up shortly afterward.

I was told that EVERYTHING would be 50% off until 7pm, but actually only ALMOST everything is half off. Apparently there is a HH app menu? Not that I saw :/...maybe cuz it was so busy...Most of it ended up being half off though, so that was cool. As long as my kettle rocks with lemon was, I was happy.

We ordered:
Steamed DUMPLINGS!- These were my fav! I think the meat inside was shrimp and pork, not sure but they were slurplicious. specially with the hot mustard and sweet and sour mixed!
Chicken satay- yummy, flavorful sticks o' chicken! good peanut sauce, I was sopping the last drops up with my bird.
Crab cake- This WAS NOT on happy hour, boo, but they were yummy yum. And so was the little salad that came with it. My friend took a liking to it, I wasn't paying attention for a minute or so and it disappeared! There was also a tasty mango chutney thing on the side.

We would've ordered more but we had planned to head next door for some sliders at the arsenal. I will totally be back to sample more, and for those super cheap cockies!! I'm sold.

Was this review …?Useful(15) Funny(14) Cool(16)

14 people don't know what "funny" is
15 people don't know what "cool" is

I'm going back to my Yelp account and adding DAAAYYYYUM to the beginning of every review.

(ps I am a scumbag)

I spent days reading this thread. Most entertainment I've had in while.

Sorry about the wall of text:

=====================

Jong Ga House

Jason C.
I did not slap you. I simply high fived your face.
Elite '09

Wanna know how to make someone insanely jealous? It's wickedly sweet form of revenge I concocted over a meal of Korean shabu shabu from Jong Ga House.

Not that I'm advocating it, but human insecurity is a very funny thing.

Wait, never mind, I'm not going to tell you until you read my review.

Eh, that's kinda mean. Okay, I'll tell you. But let me first tell you how I conceived this plot.

Imagine this: You've been dumped by your girl/boyfriend and you're feeling sad, lonesome, filled with feelings of regret and "I'm not good enough." Maybe you should have worked out more, bought that ring from Tiffany's, or spent money on that trip to Honolulu.
Whatever.

Don't worry about that, it's too late for that. However, here's what you can do.

Go treat yourself to a good meal with a companion. Preferably, one of the opposite sex. Make sure this person is butt ugly. I mean, I'm talking pug/bulldog ugly. So ugly they're almost cute. But they're not, because they're not dogs and therefore-not-totally-excited-and-down-for-anythin g-and-deserve-to-be-petted-oh-boy!

So I arrived to Jong Ga House with a friend one random afternoon. We'll call "her" Medusa face of grossness.

Anyways, Medusa decided that to help me overcome the emo of a break up, we go eat Shabu Shabu. Typical Medusa. With the threat of a stare turning me to stone, I made the trek out to Oakland for some grub.

We get there and the first thing I noticed is that people had hella pan chan/ ban chan (however you spell it). Well, we got 16 pieces http://static.px.yelp.... . In other people's photos, I noticed 18 or more. So I guess you will get more or less depending on the day. Or maybe the other 2 dishes ran away once they saw Medusa.

Jong Ga made up for it by giving us an appetizer of cold kimchee soup noodles http://static.px.yelp.... . This tasted exactly like kimchee boiled in water with noodles tossed in. It wasn't too bad. Medusa ate it up, see? http://static.px.yelp.... Notice the tiny noodle touching the unclean table. She probably ate that piece, too.

I decided to order Yuk Hwae raw beef http://static.px.yelp.... and a seafood pancake http://static.px.yelp....

The Yuk Hwae was decent and thawed to a cool temperature. It is very rare that you will get freshly cut raw beef unless you go to a very nice restaurant. The garlic adds a little bit of a spicy kick while the Korean pears add a sweet after taste. Topped with a raw egg, the nummies wins over the risk of salmonella.

The seafood pancake was huge. How huge are we talking? This big: http://static.px.yelp.... Trust me, Medusa has a big ass head, mang. And this thing was bigger than her face, snake tentacle hair and all. But bigger doesn't mean better tasting. It was not very crispy and a little bit mealy on the inside as the dough did not cook properly all the way through. Not even the sauce could have saved it.

Finally, we shared the Shabu shabu http://static.px.yelp.... I've never had this with rice and imitation crab balled inside a lettuce cup, but it was a pleasant combination.

So while we chomped away at our food, I realized that if my ex, or any ex saw me at that moment with the most hideous creature on earth, she would initially laugh.

Laugh at Medusa's strange appearance. Mock her deep husky man voice. Mimic her ape like movements and poor hygienic eating habits...

Then something would threaten her to the core of her soul. What is it about this Medusa beast that makes ME hang out with her? Are we dating? What is it that Medusa has that she doesn't? Maybe she does that thing with her tongue that she could never do? Is she better in bed? Is she more successful?!

The vivid imagination of the ex's evil mind would ultimately create a nightmarish sense of insecurity that ultimately devours her soul and bothers her for life.

*evil laugh* Muahahahaha

Sweet. And that idea finished with some cinnamon drink and toasted pine nuts floating on top is the perfect way to end any Korean meal.

Thanks, Jong Ga House. You're not bad, but in Oakland, competition is stiff.

P.S. I hope you realize I'm joking about Medusa. My friend is actually one of the sweetest, most beautiful, caring, and communicative people I've ever had the fortune of knowing. ^_^ Huzzah!

Was this review …?Useful(26) Funny(29) Cool(27)

Some guy that worked near me is stalking me because someone called him a "douchebag" on Yelp and he assumed it was me. It wasn't.

Movies that everybody seems to like, except you

Tyler C. says:

Requiem for a Dream - I might be a little biased because I don't like Jared Leto, but seriously this movie is so depressing- damn. I felt like shit after watching it. The only bright side to this movie was getting a sneak peak of Jennifer Connelly's unshaven bush and her epic ass-to-ass scene.

Usual Suspects - It always bothered me that people thought it was this genius, psychological thriller when the entire film was just Kevin Spacey making up a story based on book titles he was reading on a shelf. To me, that's stupid. I mean - not a bad movie necessarily but when it came out, people went nuts over it as if it were some masterpiece. It's really not and actually for some supposed complex plot, it's incredibly simplistic and almost foolishly implausible. You have to be a naive twat to really respect the way he gets away at the end.

Donnie Darko - Movie made no sense. Aside from the cool soundtrack, I didn't see what all the hype was. It seemed like an incomplete movie with all the storyline gaps and nonsensical stuff.

The Dark Knight - I walked out of the theater during the police station scene when the Joker escaped via fat guy with bomb in belly. Great performance by Ledger, but I hated that film. I finished it after it was released on DVD, but I struggled to get through it. I still do not understand why this film is so highly regarded and my friends still give me shit for not loving it.

Team America World Police - I've met NO ONE who doesn't like this film, except the man in the mirror.

Napolean Dynamite - People convinced themselves that it was a funny movie and all of a sudden it became cool to have seen it. If you are among those people that actually think it's a good movie, I got one word for you - lemming.
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Michael "McBeyond" M. says:

Yes, Requiem for a Dream, but there are some people who hate it as much as I do--including the person I went to see it with. We both laughed so hard after it was over.

More than any other movie though, The Godfather parts I & II. Sooooooo boring. I've never finished either.
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Bob "Stiffer than usual" P. says:

Lusty Busty Big Ones, whack.
Naughty Sex Kittens, lame.
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Mary "dieting in theory" R. says:

The freakin' Notebook. Loathed it. I hate movies like that...
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HG "Hugo" G. says:

The Hangover - HATED EVERY MINUTE of it.

Signs - (mel gibson) It was the stupidest alien invasion movie I have ever sat through. It was truly, one of the worst movie plots ever.
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Cate T. says:

The Notebook. American Beauty. Breakfast At Tiffany's.
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Conrad "Mr Firme" M. says:

Sleepers.
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Conrad "Mr Firme" M. says:

Be kind rewind.
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Mario "Free Range Tofurky Killer" M. says:

I hate Riki Lake movies...or shows...anything Riki Lake for that matter...she's a man hating bull dyke
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Roach "earn more sessions by sleeving" G. says:

Conrad "Mr Firme" M. says:
"Be kind rewind."
___________________

you know someone who likes that movie?!!

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Mario "Free Range Tofurky Killer" M. says:

Jack Black is still stupid funny...still barely tolerable....to be continued...oh and can't dis Mos Def
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Conrad "Mr Firme" M. says:

Yup Roach. Some people i know thought it was good. Sucked so bad! It even got decent reviews.
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Marc D. says:

Transformers ~ I liked the original kids show, but this Shia LeDouche and Megan Fox crap is unattractive, an almost entire CGI action movie is for the simple minded

Spider Man / X-Men - super heroes were cool when I was 10 or 12 , at 24 I'm gonna need something a little more complex and interesting

Knocked Up - does anyone really believe a hot chick could fall for a fat unshaven slob? F no

Horror movies - cancer, tumors, and accidents are scary....ghosts and serial killers are not
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Marian "Momsie" G. says:

Slumlord Millionaires
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Jesse "sasquatch" T. says:

m night shame movies, jack black movies, sandra bernhardt movies, any thing that is made as a "x-loser" tries to fix life by cheer leading/drumming/being a 75 lbs football player/____________(insert meaningless feat here)
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Lynette "Be silly, be honest, be kind---RWE" T. says:

Yeah, Slumdog Millionaire didn't live up to my expectations too.
The family was watching Boondock Saints & I was the only one who thought it was awful.
Johnny Depp movies....
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Rod "Kuya Bingo" V. says:

Titanic,
the only redeeming value
was Kate Winslet's tits
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Chris "The Other White Meat" B. says:

All the comic book super hero movies. Every last one of them sucked (except maybe the first Batman).
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Mike "Chef BashYoHeadIn" P. says:

Hairspray both old and new - Garbage

The Notebook - blah blah

most of all:
Syriana - two hours of my life i wish i had spent watching paint dry instead.
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marlon "ThE ChEmIsT" e. says:

titanic
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Tim D. says:

The fourth kind!!!!
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Hazel "nutella spreader" G. says:

lost in translation... ZzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Sam "dancing in the rain" D. says:

Annie Hall .. one of the stupidest, most boring films I ever saw. And then it wins the oscar for best picture. Wtf
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Sonya "Miss Groupie Supreme" M. says:

Fight Club
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
Matrix
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Cate T. says:

Sonya. I'll tell you my thing about Harry Potter.

I love the books. It's just a good story for me. The movies? They're pretty crap, except they are lovely to look at. I don't go to the movies looking for story. They're just my Visual Supplements to the books :)

Same with Lord of the Rings. It's pretty.
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Frederick "O" G. says:

Tyler C. say
Napolean Dynamite - People convinced themselves that it was a funny movie and all of a sudden it became cool to have seen it. If you are among those people that actually think it's a good movie, I got one word for you - lemming
___________
I saw it with absolutely no knowledge about it, no hype, having read no reviews nor heard feedback from anyone. Loved it.

Seth Rogen flics post 40 YO Virgin. Avoid like the plague.

Now, when is Avatar coming out? I know that's going to suck!
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Frankie H. says:

Stir of echoes
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Lydia C. says:

Juno.
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Kylie "La Loba" B. says:

road house.....
dawn of the dead....

please shoot me instead of making me watch either of these 2 again.......
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Amador "U R A Styuped" A. says:

The entire Lord of the Rings series!

I mean, who the hell likes magic, swords, and demons and stuff???

And... and...

... oh wait... that IS kinda cool...
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Michael "Loves Ocean Sunsets" F. says:

Forrest Gump
Dark Knight
Star Wars(any of the ones that followed too)
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Dennis "will work for licorice" A. says:

Slumdog Millionaire - overrated and weak.

Hitchiker's Guide to The Galaxy - pure shit.
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The only bright side to this movie was getting a sneak peak of Jennifer Connelly's unshaven bush and her epic ass-to-ass scene.

i haven't seen this movie tbh but now maybe i want to? am i a scumbag?

lol if those are the reasons you want to see this movie you really dont want to see this movie, u know what i mean

no i get you

i didn't even know she was in it, is the thing

ya imo anyone who is turned on by the "epic" ass 2 ass scene should be immediately neutered for the good of the human race

yelp message boards are a corrective to anyone who seriously thinks ilx sucks

Well, they were definitely right about Team America. I just learned about the existence of "South Park Republicans". Ugh.

I would direct anyone to whirlpool.net.au also if you think ILX sucks, those guys are all a-grade morans.

wrong thred trayce

? That was in reponse to "yelp message boards are a corrective to anyone who seriously thinks ilx sucks"

oh soz

attn jaymc: http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=4DFmd5LCXoLgHtYBytJJPA

does she look familar to you? she posted a review for an asian market at 75th and lemont rd.

Seattle, WA
3 star rating
4/21/2009

Yum! This is going to be a short review because, sadly, I'm not very well-versed in Indian food and I don't know the names of ANYTHING I ate... I just know it was good.

We went for the lunch buffet, and I must say, it was a good idea. It was basically all-you-can-eat (I saw people getting seconds) and there were plenty of both veggie and meat options - and rice and naan of course! It was about $19 for two of us (not including anything to drink but water), which is a little pricey for a lunch buffet (in my humble/cheap opinion), but definitely not bad.

The service was only so-so. The servers were very nice, but sort of... not helpful? We walked in and were seated, but then basically ignored until we asked, "Do we just go grab a plate?" We hadn't been to Mayuri before, so we weren't sure how it worked - do you pay first? Do they GIVE you the plates? Are there non-buffet options and would the server expect us to wait for a menu?

(You just go to the buffet, grab a plate, and feed yourself, in case anyone else was wondering.)

Once we'd finished and had our plates taken away... we were ignored again. We didn't know if someone was going to bring us a check or if we were meant to pay at the front, so we finally got a chance to ask, and the guy told us it was "okay" to pay at the front... so I still have no idea what the correct way is, but whatever.

So three stars for not-so-awesome service and not-so-super-cheapness, but honestly, places like this make me wonder why I ever thought I hated Indian food. It's freaking GOOD!