got a question for ya, nothing vulgar this time, i promise

Then: So...have you gotten laid yet?
Now: Nope.
Then: AWW, MAAAAAN!!!

I think I'd have more to learn from me at 12 years old than vice versa.

29: oh, and you can use your hand for masturbation, you know.
12: ...

12: I have red hair?
28: This week. Don't be afraid to dye it, it's fun.
12: Everyone will freak out, though!
28: Exactly. As you can see, the breasts eventually happen too, so don't worry about it too much, and just be comfortable in your body. You've got a metabolism most people would kill for anyway.
12: Why am I dating D*****?
28: He's nice enough, and you're both pretty insecure. You'll muster up the self-confidence to break up with him soon. Don't worry about boys, for real. Most of them here won't understand you, but that's a failing on their part and not yours. Hold out for something good. Shit, I know I'm sounding like a school counselor, but it's true. Also you're going to meet an amazing guy precisely when you're not looking for one at all. And I mean really not looking, but I'm not going to say anything about that because you're going to have to figure that out for yourself.
12: Am I poor?
28: No, you do just fine. I didn't realize this until just a few years ago, but you're honestly smart enough to make good choices nearly all the time.
12: You sound like the D.A.R.E. teacher again.
28: They're mostly full of shit, but seriously, believe in your own abilities because you do some pretty amazing things when you're older.
12: So am I a scientist? or a writer?
28: Weirdly enough, neither. Or maybe both. You have a great job, you really enjoy it, and you're good at it. I shouldn't even be telling you this, but I'm getting ready to leave the job.
12: NO! Don't do that, you'll starve!
28: What did I just say about believing in yourself?
12: Why would you leave a job ever?
28: Jesus, I shouldn't have even gotten into this. This won't make you happy either, but I'm doing it partly because of that great guy.
12: NO! What happened to feminism?
28: Hey, don't freak out! It's a good move for everyone. It's time for me to make a change, and it happens to be a good time for both of us to make a change. Jesus, the point is not to worry about the future. You're just going to stress yourself out, and you don't need to do that because you're really smart and capable.
12: *begins crying*
28: *sighs* You're going to cry at all your job reviews, too, but your boss is really cool with it.
12: *continues crying*
28: You're going to continue to be really depressed through all of high school and part of college; it's going to be really awful sometimes. Stay away from guns and knives.
12: *sniffles* I get into college?
28: YES! You'll actually get a great scholarship and be spoiled for choice. This is what I'm talking about. Look at you! You know you're smart, but you still think you won't get into college? You have so much going for you; you're not going to screw it up.
12: *sobs uncontrollably*
28: Oh, come here, give me a hug. I know it's pretty overwhelming. Just try not to worry.

RJG now: my bloody valentine were from ireland.

Me: I can't tell you anything! Go away!!
12 Me: Why?
Me: If I do, everything will be different, it's too dangerous...
12 Me: What do you mean?
Me: Like if I tell you not to bother taking double science for GCSE, and then you take my advice, the whole nature of time and space could be destroyed, maybe the Berlin Wall will never fall, and we'll blow ourselves up with nukes. Maybe Spurs will win the league. Maybe in high school, you'll use your cricket bat to play cricket instead of as a substitute guitar. Myabe you'll actually talk to girls you develop crushes on, instead of sitting around listening to Skid Row and writing awful lyrics about being an outcast...I mean, anything I tell you could have a million earth shattering consequences.
12 Me: okay, see ya.

12 Me goes back in time. Reality ends.

jel otm

I can see the world being changed enough for the Berlin Wall to stay up, but Spurs win the league?

12yoJ: My hair grew out.
29yoJ: Of course it did. That's one thing I can tell you about your future, you won't have any more haircut traumas. Nothing severe anyway.
12yoJ: Cool! What about the glasses? Did my vision get better?
29yoJ: No. But there's thinner lenses now.
12yoJ: Ok, so what's up with my life as a grown-up? I mean, you're OLD. So, what did you get your doctorate in? Are you in love, married, what?
29yoJ: Um. None of the above, except for maybe the grown-up part. I don't even know how to tell you how plans changed and life changed. But I can give you bits of advice. What's funny is that part of the advice would be to take more risks. Don't be afraid to break rules and let loose more. Ignore all that bullshit self-doubt. And another part of the advice would be to take good care of yourself. When you have a gut feeling about something, pay attention, even if it's scary and something you'd rather ignore. That probably includes the feeling about Key West.
12yoJ: That makes no sense.
29yoJ: It will in retrospect. Next time you see Grandpa may be the last. Nobody has told you that he's dying. Hug him hard and tell him you love him, because you'll probably miss him for the rest of your life.
12yoJ: *sob*. Okay.
29yoJ: Try to be more outgoing, more confident. Stand up for yourself when people are assholes to you. Kick CJK in the balls when he tries things on you in art class. Maybe kick him in the balls anyway. In school, spend more time studying and less time worrying about whether you're stupid. Don't drop Seminar. Apply to Northwestern. Please don't berate yourself so much. Try to stop feeling like you have to prove yourself, and try to tone down the perfectionism. Recognize that you're going to fuck up, and that doesn't mean you're a failure. Don't worry so much about things socially--the people who are really important are there for you. Even when you don't realize it. Appreciate them. They're amazing people.
12yoJ: Uh, whatever. I'm not worried about my friends.
29yoJ: You'll move in a year and things will be very different.
12yoJ: Shit. What about boys?
29yoJ: There'll be boys. It would help if you weren't so shy with them. You'll date, but it's generally frustrating. There's one guy that you'll meet, though, who will teach your cynical self that love is possible.
12yoJ: But I don't end up with that guy?
29yoJ: Nope.
12yoJ: That sucks. So what should I think of the future and all of that?
29yoJ: I still haven't figured that one out for myself at 29. You'll find out what happens soon enough. Enjoy being 12 for me. And give that puppy of yours a hug, I miss him.

This thread makes me want to go round dispensing hugs. And makes me wish I'd worded mine better, but I had a go already and everyone else wins.

this thread is like ile's footprints

(that's saying something!)

but, when there was only one set in the sand, were we carrying ourselves?

You guys sure did cry a lot when you were 12.

29: One day you will accidentally drink your urine. But do NOT tell anyone called Matt DC this or they will mock you on a computer.

Best thread ever.

Thanx

27yo me: DON'T GO TO UNIVERSITY WHEN THEY TRY TO FORCE YOU
12yo me: it's ok i won't let them.
27yo me: YES YOU WILL. YOU WILL CAVE IN. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! THEY ARE OFTEN WRONG ABOUT THIS SHIT!
12yo me: oh, ok. thanks. who do i know who will give me good advice about this stuff then?
27yo me: ...
12yo me: oh, great.
27yo me: look, chill. just do what the fuck you want. don't start thinking you can't just 'cause people tell you you can't. ok? your horizons can be bigger.
12yo me: ok. shit, what's that you're listening to? i like it. can i tape the cd off you?
27yo me: yes. and this one, and this one, and this one. go and find some weird shit to listen to. you'll like it. start by going into spiller's and asking them for a new record called 'goo'.
12yo me: uh... ok. ...um, look, i'm not still living here, am i?
27yo me: no! christ, no. you escape. it's fine. you're in london. it's wicked. you get a shitload of great friends and you go to lots of gigs and stuff. hey, you work in music!
12yo me: cool! wait, i'm not a novelist?
27yo me: nah, but don't worry about it. there's time for that. 27 isn't old.
12yo me: it's fucking ancient.
27yo me: shut up. and don't stop riding your bike, idiot. oh yeah, and you will get into uwc so don't worry about that.
12yo me: i get to go to ac? brilliant!
27yo me: er, no, not ac. better!
12yo me: how can it be better?
27yo me: i'm not telling you. got to leave some surprises. also, please remember that pretty much everyone you go to school with, apart from emma c and sarah h and maybe a couple of others, are idiots. waste of oxygen. don't pay any attention. you'll totally have the last laugh on them.
12yo me: ok. i kind of know that anyway, but when there are so many more of them it's hard sometimes. hey, did that hurt?
27yo me: yeah, but only for like a second.
12yo me: i like it! wow, you're so grown up.
27yo me: bwahahaha no i'm so not. look, take that fucking thing out of your hair, it looks stupid.

12: Gee you got fat.
25: Yeah it happens, you fucker.
12: It won't happen to me.
25: It will, the only reason you don't eat now is because you're mom's food tastes like crap.
12: I hate you.
25: You've never had sex.
12: I'm going to kill myself.
25: Good!