Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

I love the comments in the JavaScript that generates the headlines:

new Noun("russell brand",3,1),     // FIXME: Delete when latest moral panic is over

haha the funniest results from this are ones that end in 'swans"

WILL JACQUI SMITH HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

FFS I hope not...

(Went w/ the Grauniad instead. Dustin Hoffman can wait.)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/if_god_had_wanted_me_to_be

HAS RUSSELL BRAND IMPREGNATED BRITAIN'S SWANS?

I believe the answer is 'probably'.

COULD ALISTAIR DARLING INFECT PENSIONERS WITH AIDS?

COULD THE GERMANS MAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS IMPOTENT?

COULD LESBIANS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR PETS?

HAVE HOODIES TURNED THE QUEEN GAY?

HAVE THE POLES DESTROYED CLIFF RICHARD?

That one can't be pinned on the Poles.

Depends what you mean by poles.

lol...poles

polls

Okay, assuming for a moment you've never seen a Daily Mail headline generator before - can't we talk about the succesful internet campaign that has resulted in a bunch of advertisers pulling their money? Or that the cops are apparently looking into it under hatred laws? Or that at the very least this might be the end of her career (hopefully)?

i think the #dailymail debate is covered in as much depth as is necessary on twitter. not that this wasn't a repulsive article, but you have to be pretty wet behind the ears to think this is the daily mail going "too far" for the first time.

but yes, "successful internet campaign". finally notice is taken of white males aged 18-45. i'd hate to be the next guy stephen fry retweets criticism of on a friday afternoon.

ARE THE UNIONS DEFRAUDING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

Umm, I don't think it will be the end of the paper. She should get fired though.

i still find richard littlejohn way way way more offensive than jan moir could ever hope to be, and his particular brand of homophobia much worse and more insidious. wish people would go after him on a similar scale.

I don't think cops apparently looking into this under hatred laws is something to be pleased about at all:
(1) the article might be stupid, but it shouldn't be a crime; and
(2) I'd quite like the police to just do their job, rather than responding to orchestrated pressure. It's not a good thing just because for once the mob is on 'our' side.

If the police go after Moir, do they also get to go after anyone printing supportive comments on the Mail website? The whole article, starting with the incredibly WTF statement that healthy 33-year-old men don't just climb into their beds and don't wake up, and then suggesting that only gay men commit suicide over the break-up of their relationships (if indeed Kevin McGee's suicide was anything whatsoever, even tangentially-related, to do with his sexuality) is screamingly wrong and offensive to everyone with depression, undetected heart conditions or teh gayness, but what's worse is that it seems to be speaking for a number of people and not just for her trying to sell papers.

And, yes, The Mob should go after Littlejohn next. Am surprised he's still in a job after than "prostitutes deserve to get murdered" piece.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8314577.stm

The Press Complaints Commission says it will ask the Daily Mail to respond to complaints about a column it ran on the death of Boyzone singer Stephen Gately.

The PCC said it had received more than 21,000 complaints since its publication on 16 October - the most ever made about a single newspaper article.

enjoying the irony of this being a classic DM style witch hunt, tbh. except totally and utterly deserved.

Marks & Spencer asked the newspaper to move an advertisement which appeared alongside the online version of the article, stating that it "does not tolerate any form of discrimination".

I always love when an organ like the Daily Mail prints an article no more offensive than usual and is suddenly buried in outrage.

I find the cynical responses to the Twitter campaign baffling. So because a paper is reliably vile, when it prints a particularly unpleasant piece people should just shrug and ignore it? No - even if she was just unlucky enough to be a lightning rod for general disgust with the Mail, she deserved it and there's nothing wrong with right-wing hatemongers getting a taste of their own medicine from time to time. It's not as if private tut-tutting will ever get the Mail's attention.

DV my theory as to why this one got traction is because it wasn't couched in the sober, reasoned manner that the real classics of DM psychopathy usually are, i.e. "if one sits down and thinks about it, deportation procedures really are the only answer to our pressing problem of the lack of resources within britain"

Is Jimmy Carr the new Jonathan Ross?

1. Jimmy is a key, credible and genuine supporter of the Armed Forces - as evident by his visits and shows without publicity - and takes their welfare very seriously.
2. Out of an audience of 2,500 people only two people complained, and this level of complaint is not worthy of front page news.
3. We are in talks with Jimmy to go further afield to boost the morale of the Armed Forces which is further evidence of his commitment to them and the work they do.
4. A disappointing aspect from the Charity’s perspective is those who have sort to quote on the story. In my position I would strongly advise anyone from leaping on the Armed Forces bandwagon and also over sensitising the issue of injured servicemen and women who, in the main, do not see themselves as victims or charity cases but look to the future which includes a real ambition to return to the frontline - and compete in the Paralympics.

"Say what you like about the servicemen amputees from Iraq and Afghanistan, but we are going to have a fucking good Paralympics team in 2012"

I have a pretty low tolerance for Jimmy Carr, but as his jokes go, this one actually isn't too terrible.

Let's play spot the difference. The top image is a set of instructions that members of the Question Time audience were given before filming last Thursday. And below that is a version of it that appeared in the Daily Mail and on its website on Saturday. Have you noticed what's changed? Funnily enough, the Mail used its version to support its claim that the BBC was "stage managing" an onslaught against BNP leader Nick Griffin during the programme.

Date-rape drugs are largely an urban myth used as an excuse by women who booze themselves into a stupor, it has been claimed.

That's Daniel "lol she was wearing a short skirt too, the bitch was begging for it amirite" Martin, who clearly has something to hide when it comes to date rape drugs.

Wayne and Coleen Rooney are celebrating the birth of their first child.

The Manchester United and England star, 24, was at his wife’s side as she gave birth at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital early this afternoon.

The sex was so far unconfirmed.

Bdum Tish.

The Express is just utter, utter bullshit, isn't it? How the fuck do the people who write this trash manage to live with themselves? It's not like they're highly-paid, or anything?

Supermarket giant Asda has risked sparking a racial backlash in the place where the BNP won its first ever council, by closing its traditional fresh meat counter and replacing it with a halal only section.

The chain has decided to make the move at its large store on the Isle of Dogs, east London.

Within weeks, anyone wanting fresh pork chops or ham off the bone will have to go to the pre-packed meat section, with Muslim customers having a wider choice from the halal counter.

Asda insisted it was “responding to customer demand” and had done a deal with a local halal butcher to reflect the ethnic make up of the area’s population.

Yet figures show that while the borough of Tower Hamlets is almost half Muslim, the Isle of Dogs is about 80 per cent non-Bangladeshi.

Workers at the store said furious non-Muslim customers would not meat derived from cutting the throats of animals and letting them bleed to death.

Politicians were concerned last night that the move could reignite racial tension on the Isle of Dogs, where Derek Beackon won the BNP’s first council seat in 1993.

Gotta love this:

http://cdn.images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/comments/nocomments.gif

I suspect that that Express story is light on facts, and isn't to be taken seriously. But the whole issue of halal (and kosher, for that matter) meat is one that I am amazed has such a low profile. We have some of the best standards of animal welfare in the UK, but religions are able to bypass them at a stroke. There's no need to invent (or otherwise) stories about such meat being made "compulsory" - its mere existence is a major cause for concern.

are halal and kosher techniques inherently cruel? i assumed they were painless for the animal

The animals aren't stunned before they are stabbed in the neck with a knife.

"The UK Farm Animal Welfare Council says that the method by which Kosher and Halal meat is produced causes severe suffering to animals and it should be banned immediately. According to FAWC it can take up to two minutes for cattle to bleed to death, thus amounting to animal abuse."

They don't look very painless from the film footage I've seen of them. Neither does conventional slaughter though tbf.

It doesn't look pleasant, certainly, but the animals should be unconscious for the process. I believe the thrashing around is an automatic reflex.

Getting away from the point that changes at an Asda meat counter isn't all that likely to "reignite racial tension on the Isle of Dogs".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1226464/The-First-Ladette-How-Germaine-Greers-legacy-entire-generation-loose-knickered-lady-louts.html

^this fucking guy

Some might question whether this really matters, but would you trust a dentist who had chosen to go bald? Would you want your children treated by a doctor who had shaved his head?

Each dentist to display a sign:

"I have not gone bald voluntarily"

Strange, strange article. I mean I assume this must be a joke:

and at weekends some think nothing of lying a-bed until noon

Mustn't it?

think nothing of lying a-bed until noon

Oh, those foul rapscallions!

wtf is an armpit vest?