SUPER BOWL EXTRA LARGE

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THE PUPPY BOWL IS SOME STR8 FAGGOT SHIT AND I FORMALLY CALL INTO QUESTION THE MENTAL FACULTIES OF ANY PERSON WHO ENJOYED MORE THAN 10 MINUTES OF THIS PROGRAM. FUCK YOU IF YOU DISAGREE. I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET THOSE FUCKING HUCKSTERS CON ME WITH THIS SNAKE OIL BULLSHIT, THREE HOURS OF DOGS STARING BLANKLY TO A DELIGHTFUL LITE JAZZ SOUNDTRACK, MOTHERFUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

(I watched the first 20 minutes in the vain hope that it would transform into something watchable, as if they had the REAL Puppy Bowl just waiting around the corner. I switched back later for the kitty halftime show but it turned out to be more of the same horseshit, except with disco music instead of Starbucks bluegrass. I have cats, I can just fuck around with them whenever I want.)

(I probably deserved this, as I read the Directv info box description beforehand and elected to believe it wasn't meant to be read literally [it was]. There were only two words: "Puppies play".)

Milhouse is not a meme. But 'Milhouse is not a meme' IS a meme. (Adrian Langston, Monday, 6 February 2006 16:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Update: Sloppy Joe payback is a BITCH.

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 February 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Hi Dere. I know nothing about futbol, but my television told me that if the ball crosses the endzone in the air, that ain't good enough if it doesn't touch the line on the ground. Did my television lie to me?

Yrs,
GBNB

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:11 (eighteen years ago) link

it's just gotta cross the plane

j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:16 (eighteen years ago) link

We were all making jokes about how Michael Irvin was smuggling an entire colony of tiny people in the knot of his tie.

Dan (Ellis Island, Here We Come!) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:18 (eighteen years ago) link

One of my favorite moments of the game was when Cowher celebrated the 2nd or 3rd touchdown (I think 2nd) by forcefully shoving Rofflesberger in the chest like he was in dire need of a beatdown.

Dan (The Angriest Coach) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:24 (eighteen years ago) link

I want to drive a Hummer straight out of a lizard's vagina sometime.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Hi Dere. I know nothing about futbol, but my television told me that if the ball crosses the endzone in the air, that ain't good enough if it doesn't touch the line on the ground. Did my television lie to me?

This doesn't even make sense. Turn off the delusional Seattle fans network, dude.

I really, really don't get the big hard on everyone has this year ("this year" etc) for announcing every. single. game. the "worst officiated game ever." mostly everyone on thread OTM upthread about how if Seattle wanted to win they shoulda paid attention to the REAL clock and the REAL 75 td runs instead of the REAL score or the REAL penalties/calls???? Rofflesberger looked in to me; I mean he def threw up chalk so it was just a matter of when his knee hit. The Hasselbeck call was crap, true.

uh xpost

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:42 (eighteen years ago) link

I was watching the same network that you are. Perhaps it is that my tv was made by the Muckleshoot from the bark of Chief Seattle's canoe?

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/dayart/20020207/chiefseattle07.jpg

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:56 (eighteen years ago) link

That must be the case, because what you heard doesn't make even the faintest lick of sense.

Roethlisberger to shave beard for money on 'Late Show'

...

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 17:59 (eighteen years ago) link

It has been a good week for Roethlisberger's marketing team. He recently signed a one-year, seven-figure exclusive autograph deal with a collectibles brand, Mounted Memories.

Dan (... The Hell?) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 18:26 (eighteen years ago) link

mounted memories sounds like an easton phrase

gear (gear), Monday, 6 February 2006 19:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Coming soon: Rofflesburger POGS

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 February 2006 19:24 (eighteen years ago) link

Predict the central argument in Skip Bayless' next column:

1) Kimo von Oelhoffen cost the Bengals a clear SB victory and should therefore be suspended by the league and possibly jailed.

2) Tom Brady would have never been called for a 15-yard blocking penalty in the SB which is why he has three rings and Hasselbeck has none.

3) If Peyton Manning was the Steelers QB then they would have been ahead 41-3 at the half and nobody would be talking about the questionable officiating because GREBTNESS doesn't require a CHICKENSHIT assist from the officials, etc.

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Monday, 6 February 2006 19:39 (eighteen years ago) link

4) roethlisberger is too hairy, i like smooth bros like brady

gear (gear), Monday, 6 February 2006 19:42 (eighteen years ago) link

or alternatively, 5) Hasselbeck's premature and humiliating baldness is a sign that he doesn't possess the youthful vigour that is necessary for winning SB's because after all, these are grown men playing a little boy's game ...

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Monday, 6 February 2006 19:47 (eighteen years ago) link

6) Tom Brady: Will U Marry Me?

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Guys I just read an article on ESPN.com that actually asserts that the "exact number of points taken away from the Seahawks by the officials" was, indeed, 11.

Which is, like, a td + go for 2 + field goal, wtf?

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

From Slate:

But perhaps Seattle brought this on themselves by coming out of the tunnel to The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony." Note to the Seahawks: That's probably not the best choice of pump-up tunes. Next time, why not just play Beck's "Loser"?

I'm not griping about the officiating because I'm a Seahawk fan, or a Steeler hater, but because I was hoping for a good, close, exciting game, and if the "breaks" were not so lopsided, we would've probably got one. The offensive PI call, and the Roethlisberger "TD" call could've gone either way (and I have few doubts that the Steelers would've punched it in on 4th down anyways). The two holding penalties --- I'll watch again tonight, but nobody disagrees with how badly the officials missed the Hassellback "chop" (I have more doubts that Randel-El's TD pass would have necessarily been called, or been as successful if that 15yrd penalty had not been called).


peepee (peepee), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:04 (eighteen years ago) link

I calculated 13.29 points, but y'know, close enough.

xpost

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Re: Bittersweet Symphony, maybe they were trying to absorb some Rolling Stones-related good karma?

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, theoretically Roethlisberger's TD could've gone either way. Since there is no conclusive evidence to say that it SHOULD have gone the other way, league rules state you gotta go with the man's first instincts. In this case, he called TD (which is exactly what my opinion was of it too, after the 8 trillion replays immediately following the call). The offensive PI call, it's technically the correct call and NOT an either way call--it's just that usually people look the other way on that kinda thing esp. in the playoffs.

You did get a fairly good, well played game, you just didn't get a close score. Tom Brady woulda scored 73 points to make up for "worst officiating ever".

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:09 (eighteen years ago) link

While banging three chicks at once and simulataneously saving a village of orphans.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:10 (eighteen years ago) link

When they came out to "Bittersweet Symphony", I HOWLED.

Dan (I Am A Werewolf) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah that was pretty fuckin odd.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:11 (eighteen years ago) link

You know Hasslebeck picked that, the big douche.

Dan (He Probably Danced To U2's "One" At His Wedding) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Since there is no conclusive evidence to say that it SHOULD have gone the other way, league rules state you gotta go with the man's first instincts...

Actually, the ref's first instinct looked like he called it down before the end-zone.

peepee (peepee), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:14 (eighteen years ago) link

shoulda come out to SPOONMAN

mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:15 (eighteen years ago) link

In my opinion, Seattle got ripped off at least three times by bad calls, and that contributed to them losing the game, so they have a reason to feel aggrieved. But I am also rockist (word not allowed on this board-ed.) enough -- and had it drilled into my head in six years as a player -- to believe that a team cannot blame its loss on the referees. I had to explain this to a disappointed seven-year-old, who (like me but independently of me) was rooting for Seattle just because everyone else was rooting for Pittsburgh.

Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I also don't think Ben R. scored, and I think Ally is crazy for watching all the reruns and still thinking he did...but it would only have brought up fourth down, so big deal either way.

Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:16 (eighteen years ago) link

OK.

He still signaled touchdown. He NEVER signalled down at any point.

Not only that, replay shows the ball threw up chalk. Which means it did, in no uncertain terms, break the plane--so the ref was correct about that to begin with. So now you're talking about a replay judgement call as to whether or not the ball broke the plane BEFORE Roethlisberger's knee went down, or afterwards. It appeared to me, as it did to the refs, that it was not 100% certain, but certainly nowhere near any kind of evidence that the ball DIDN'T pass the plane before his knee was down.

And that is how the rules work. People can piss and moan all they like, and they'd be right to bitch about the Hasselbeck block, but the bottom line is that Seattle got sonned in a Bettis beef and if they deserved to win the game, they would've won it.

Is this really that hard for people to get? See also: The Pitt/Indy game where, by all appearances, the refs stopped just short of just SHOOTING Pitt players on the field.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

shoulda come out to SPOONMAN

THEM BONES

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm pissed off that during seattle's interception return (what an awful throw, by the way) they weren't called for a clear block in rofflesberger's back!

mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:24 (eighteen years ago) link

I didn't see the Pitt/Indy game, but heard that was bad too.

...if they deserved to win the game, they would've won it.

I don't know what that means.

peepee (peepee), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

I think that means that if Seattle had deserved to win the game, they would have won it, perhaps by scoring more points.

Dan (Stab In The Dark) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, that's whatcha mean!

peepee (peepee), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Deserving to win the game don't mean dookiestain.

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally, just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean that they are pissing and moaning. I already said that Seattle couldn't blame their loss on the referees.

Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I think Ally was mostly addressing peepee.

Dan (Never Thought I'd Type That) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:40 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG THAT SENTENCE WINS ILNFL ILE ILX THE SUPER BOWL AND THE WORLD CUP

Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 6 February 2006 20:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, seriously haiku, don't tell me I have to start putting names in front of all of my posts so you figure out I don't mean you, bub.

Anyway let's all be honest here. Thread connections reveal all:
# The real reason the Seahawks lost (28 new answers)
# Gareth (6 new answers)

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:21 (eighteen years ago) link

(and by "people" I actually meant the Seattle players/MIKE HOLMGREN who have gone out of their way to make allusions/ACTUALLY HAVE SAID that the refs costing them the game, and a couple sports writers, and not really anyone specifically here posting on this thread)

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

Need to get some better zebras next year.

Yep.

steelerman, Monday, 6 February 2006 23:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Thanks. Helpful.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:30 (eighteen years ago) link

As someone who was rooting for the Steelers, I woke up this morning feeling like a 2000 Bush supporter, going "Look, it's the Electoral College, people!"

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:30 (eighteen years ago) link

That basically happens every year. Not to you specifically. I can't remember the last time I didn't see at least one columnist claiming the refs cost the Super Bowl. Christ somewhere in the archives I'm certain there is some sad Boston sportswriter who actually claimed that versus the Bears or some shit.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:33 (eighteen years ago) link

You know, if Gore had won Tennessee, he would've been president.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Are we getting back into that "Would the Steelers have made the Super Bowl if the Denver Broncos were entirely composed of DRAGONS instead of MEN? Probably not." territory?

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Dragons would've totally burned the Steelers.

HIGH FIVE

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm partial to this reasoning:

# the 'fuck you' e-mail
# The real reason the Seahawks lost

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 February 2006 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link


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