the cowboys' bigger is bigger than your bigger: NFL week three

KC @ ATL - Falcons
OAK @ BUF - Bills Bills Bills Bills Bills
TB @ CHI - Tampa Bay
CAR @ MIN - Panthers; the Vikings need a real qb
MIA @ NE - Pats
CIN @ NYG - Giants
HOU @ TEN - Titans
ARI @ WAS - Cardinals
NO @ DEN - Denver
DET @ SF - I am pulling for the Lions' first win of the season
STL @ SEA - Seahawks; glad I don't have to watch this game
CLE @ BAL -fuck Art Modell! Browns
JAC @ IND - Colts, but I don't know
PIT @ PHI - Eagles
DAL @ GB - Dallas; i would be so happy to be wrong, tho
NYJ @ SD - Chargers

i'm guessing you are so excited about the Bills starting 3-0 that you couldn't wait to make the week 3 thread? i can't blame you for that.

KC @ ATL - atl
OAK @ BUF - bills
TB @ CHI - CHICAGO
CAR @ MIN - min i guess
MIA @ NE - pats
CIN @ NYG - jints
HOU @ TEN - tits
ARI @ WAS - zona
NO @ DEN - den
DET @ SF - calvin johnson: 187 yds receiving and 3 tds. roy williams: 120 yds receiving and 2 tds. lions lose by 14
STL @ SEA - sea
CLE @ BAL - browns!
JAC @ IND - colts
PIT @ PHI - eagles
DAL @ GB - pack
NYJ @ SD - chargers

by week four all my posts are going to be like that part in Being John Malkovich where it's all "malkovich malkovich malkovich"

billsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbills

KC @ ATL - ATL
OAK @ BUF - billz
TB @ CHI - bearz
CAR @ MIN - carolina
MIA @ NE - pats
CIN @ NYG - giants
HOU @ TEN - titans
ARI @ WAS - skins
NO @ DEN - denver
DET @ SF - UH.. SF
STL @ SEA - seattle
CLE @ BAL -browns
JAC @ IND - JAX (yeah no way, but what the hell)
PIT @ PHI - pitt
DAL @ GB - PACK
NYJ @ SD - chargers

KC @ ATL - I guess Falcons but really who knows
OAK @ BUF - Bills
TB @ CHI - Hmmm. Chicago?
CAR @ MIN - my boyfriend is going to be angry with me but Carolina
MIA @ NE - HAHAHAHAHAHA no seriously now
CIN @ NYG - Giants
HOU @ TEN - Titans
ARI @ WAS - Cardinals
NO @ DEN - Denver
DET @ SF - SF
STL @ SEA - D: horror. Seattle, since someone has to win
CLE @ BAL - Browns but I'm not really certain tbh
JAC @ IND - Colts
PIT @ PHI - Eagles
DAL @ GB - GB
NYJ @ SD - Chargers unless they figure out yet another wonderful way to fuck things up

KC @ ATL - KC steals their first win in a suckfest.
OAK @ BUF - Bills
TB @ CHI - Chicago. D will make the Bucs look bad and old.
CAR @ MIN - Panthers. Not picking MIN until Tavaris is on the streets.
MIA @ NE - Pats
CIN @ NYG - Giants
HOU @ TEN - Titans
ARI @ WAS - Cardinals
NO @ DEN - Denver
DET @ SF - Niners
STL @ SEA - 'Hawks in a moribund affair.
CLE @ BAL - No idea, I'll say BAL.
JAC @ IND - Colts
PIT @ PHI - Eagles
DAL @ GB - GB. Pack defense at home should be enough to steal a win.
NYJ @ SD - Chargers

y'all gotta step back on the the-negro-qb-is-to-blame situation considering that mn has got some suckass receivers who drop every ball thrown their direction and the fact that quite frankly they'd be better off being coached by craig t. nelson. i've seen quite a lot of the vikings the last two years and he does not look as absolutely awful as any of you are making him sound like he is. i'd go so far to say that he is positively average and in fact better than quite a few qbs who are not getting this level of shitstorm thrown at them every single week for their lack of ability/realness/whatever.

</james blount>

actually that is a good point and i don't really know the Vikings well enough to pile on Jackson. in the highlights i saw from the Colts game i did see some big drops.

KC @ ATL - Falcons by infinity
OAK @ BUF - Bills Bills Bills Bills Bills
TB @ CHI - Chicago
CAR @ MIN - Panthers are 2-0 and now they get Smith back
MIA @ NE - Pats
CIN @ NYG - Giants
HOU @ TEN - Titans
ARI @ WAS - Washington
NO @ DEN - Denver
DET @ SF - Detroit
STL @ SEA - Seahawks; glad I don't have to watch this game
CLE @ BAL - In a toss-up, I'll go with brownie
JAC @ IND - Colts
PIT @ PHI - Eagles
DAL @ GB - Green Bay
NYJ @ SD - Chargers

it just seems to be a popular meme, mainly because minnesota is a very racist place and they hate black qbs despite having ALL of them, ever, except basically donovan and vick (vick probably only because he went to jail before he could get sent to mpls for no reason), go through minnesota. the press there starts it and it permeates everywhere because ppl aren't actually going to watch a vikings game, i mean seriously lol.

except for me because i keep being made to watch them >:[

i guess it is fair because of the whole "everyone i know has to watch giants games with me" thing that i do but the thing is that the giants are a good team.

I really don't like watching games in domes.

i dunno, i think Tavaris is the bum he's made out to be, but i agree that the receivers were the problem against the Colts. Vikes were unlucky to lose both games they played so far. they have a lot of the pieces there - with a QB and a WR they'd be a superbowl favorite.

minnesota is a very racist place and they hate black qbs despite having ALL of them

i never knew this; that is a terrible irony

seriously they even seemed to dislike warren moon. who dislikes warren moon?? it annoys the vikings fans i know who feel that several decent to very good qbs have been basically run out of town.

i dunno, i think Tavaris is the bum he's made out to be

Tavaris Jackson throwing to Visanthe Shiancoe = two helpings of suck

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f312/Tonito44/ThatsRacist.gif

Fuck you I love cornbread

kornheiserapology.png

KC @ ATL - Falcons
OAK @ BUF - Bills
TB @ CHI - Bears
CAR @ MIN - Vikings
MIA @ NE - Pats
CIN @ NYG - Giants
HOU @ TEN - Titans
ARI @ WAS - Cards
NO @ DEN - Denver
DET @ SF - Niners
STL @ SEA - Seahawks
CLE @ BAL - Ravens.
JAC @ IND - Jags
PIT @ PHI - Eagles
DAL @ GB - Cowboys
NYJ @ SD - Jets

I know Tavaris was better than this last year, and there's a very good chance that he'll be a better QB than this sometime this year, but through two weeks of the season he is not a good QB.

What QBs deserve criticism more than Tavaris and aren't hearing it? How many of them are playing for a team with Super Bowl-level talent?

there are certainly qbs getting more criticism than tavaris. vince young, for example.

Pretty much any qb whoever put on a Bears uniform other than Sid Luckman deserves a shitload of criticism.

Also, Matt Leinart seems on his way to fucking up a very good NFL gig.

someone explain to me what happened with Leinart. i never watch the Cardinals.

Either do I, but it looks like he coughed his job up to Kurt Warner, primarily due to not giving a shit.

Not picking MIN until Tavaris is on the streets.

ok excuse me for pointing this out but this is a very different statement than 'tavaris is improving but not quickly enough'. sorry i 'misunderstood' your statement.

and are you really serious re qbs? the majority of qbs at jackson's skill level or below are pretty eh'd by the media outside of their hometown rags.

and are you seriously calling non-running-back members of the minnesota vikings offense "super bowl-level talent"? because pointing out that his defense is good ergo he should shoulder the weight of the offensive failure is a little like blaming the clintons for obama's recent poll dips, so i gotta assume you think that their cadre of apparently handless "receivers" are quality, which would be crazy.

xpost lol poor vince young. btw omar pointing out that vince young is getting more criticism than tavaris actually doesn't really damage my point...??? hahaha no one is covering every second of leinart's mental breakdown!!

ps omar i know that you were helping my point btw i am just in spelling shit out mode

leinart is just kerry collins/ryan leaf type figure. you know. an alcoholic.

leinart is the second coming of cade mcnown imo

seriously they even seemed to dislike warren moon. who dislikes warren moon?? it annoys the vikings fans i know who feel that several decent to very good qbs have been basically run out of town.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, September 16, 2008 2:19 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark

idk moon always kinda seemed like an a-hole to me, tho i do admire his brazen love for white women

anyway i am not a vikes fan and yeah their receivers and coach are horrible but i've seen ~*BOTH*~ vikings games this year and TJ seriously blows humongous bungholes. 'absolutely average' my dikdik, that would be a huge step forward for dude

http://www.liv.ac.uk/~sdb/Safari-2005/Images/1374-dik-dik.jpg

lol @ taking my throwaway one-liner on why I'm not picking MIN and reading way too much into it.

As a QB with no particular track record on an 0-2 team, Tarvaris (I had no idea there was an extra 'R' in there) is going to take his share of shit. I don't really see the problem with this. If they start winning games he'll become a "game manager." QBing in the NFL is totally feast or famine right now to the point where going 15-25 for 150-something yards and no picks is actually considered praiseworthy. I agree with you in one sense--ALL the guys who put up that line should be getting some criticism sent their way. Cassel was lousy on Sunday but that's not a story you'll read very much.

that said, it was pretty awful when the fans booed the bejeezus outta t-jax, and i have no problem believing that minnesota fans are all racialist dbags

minnesota is the most racist place? worse than philly? i find that extremely hard to believe.

Hope T-Jack doesn't go home and try to kill himself with chicken wings.

KC @ ATL - ATL
OAK @ BUF - BUF!
TB @ CHI - CHI
CAR @ MIN - CAR
MIA @ NE - NE
CIN @ NYG - NYG
HOU @ TEN - TEN
ARI @ WAS - ARI
NO @ DEN - DEN
DET @ SF - we all lose
STL @ SEA - SEA
CLE @ BAL - BAL
JAC @ IND - IND
PIT @ PHI - PHI (!!!!!!!!!!)
DAL @ GB - GB
NYJ @ SD - SD

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=2H_Md-gyg7c

THE JUSTIN TUCK HE-MAN CLIP IS LIVE!

philly is very racist too, i mean 'most racist' really depends on the time & day. for example arizona is so racist they didn't even have mlk day for years.

Philly isn't racist. Take it back. :( :( :(

Take it over here, boys.

my dad is from philly!

People disliked Warren Moon because of the whole wife-beating thing.

It's much fairer to say that the Vikings' owners are racist than it is to say that Minnesota en masse is racist.

(not that there aren't some full-on head-melting racists there; I went to high school with a bunch of them)

mainly i am talking about the mn press.

wow...that thread's good times.

oh, arizona. frogot about that one. y'know virginny makes mlk share his holiday w/ r.e. lee and stonewall jackson? what the fuck?

civil rights leader and two traitors. thanks, dudes.

by week four all my posts are going to be like that part in Being John Malkovich where it's all "malkovich malkovich malkovich"

billsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbillsbills

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

im gonna say right here that the OMG SHOCKING NEWS of week 3 will be the pats being seriously challenged (if not beat!) by the dolphins. the dolphins historically have played the patriots well in NE and the cassell incarnation of them is much closer to the jets that the dolphins nearly beat than the cardinals that they got torched by last week. im talking something like 16-13.

btw i hate parcells and sporano and am not a homer and in fact want the dolphins to go 0-16

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

http://buffaloremix.ytmnd.com/

okay yeah, I can get behind MN press being douchebags re: the Vikings

It is a nice feeling that I haven't experienced in quite some time!

If the Chargers don't lock up Sproles long-term I am going to be so mad.

eh idk mostly cuz he's a huge shit talker even though he basically inhabits the trent dilfer role. it's just disconcerting i guess when rivers is off running his mouth even though gates and LT are the silent killer type. it's just very *eye roll* to me. very childish, though i wouldn't call a child an asshole so i guess i used the wrong word

Silent killer types are f'in boring. I want more pizazz!

I mean, Payton was a soft-spoken guy like LT, but nobody ever thought he was soft. Today I watched LT cruise out of bounds instead of staying in and fight for more yards and it made me really mad. That is classic LT. I understand that he's hurt, but Sproles would have picked up 5-10 more yards there for sure because the dude WANTS it.

Re: Rivers

Between the two of them, Eli is still the crybaby/asshole and always will be.

how could he inhabit the Trent Dilfer role when LT hasn't been running the ball well and he's throw 3 tds in three straight games?

between the two of them, one of them has a Super Bowl ring, and both of them may wind up being Pro Bowlers this year.

i see what you're sayin but he's got a bunch of talent around him. as i said in the initial post, he's been v on point this year (fantasy stud fwiw) but it's not like a whole buncha qbs couldn't do what he does

omg why don't they punch kornheiser

I would tune in for three hours of Jaws and Tirico taking turns punching Kornheiser.

...

He had to repress his skills to imitate my style

I was reading the thread in reverse and just assumed this was, like, from the LL/Canibus beef.

...

was tony kornheiser just talkin shit about the bills?

If this report is verified, I up my bid to four full hours of Jaws and Tirico taking turns punching Kornheiser.

lol @ Eli Manning, crybaby.

GUYZ I GOT A QUESTION WHY IS BRETT FAVRE NOT IN THE GAME WITH JUST OVER A MINUTE LEFT AND HIS TEAM DOWN BY 19

SEEMS LIKE ITS PRIME TIME FOR FAVRE TIME IMO

I think it's quittin' time.

The stat about Favre having never led his team back from a 14 point deficit in his entire career was a real eye opener, I thought.

omg FAVRE IS A-ROD

yeah god forbid a player plays where he wants to play, amirite

All I'm saying is if he's Eli Schlobotnik:

1) he's staying in San Diego
2) he wouldn't pull that "trade me NOW plz" shit
3) he probably wouldn't have started in college never mind gone #1 because he wouldn't be ELI MANNING which might make this argument moot but COME ON GIANTS FANS

I'm all for players' rights & shit, but it's not like he was drafted by the Lions or the early 80s Colts -- last I remember, they had Gates & LT and a good defense and some decent WRs (tho maybe RECHE scared him off). If he didn't want to go to SD, then he & his dad & whomever should've negotiated behind the scenes to get that trade done before he ;_; on draft day holding the Chargers jersey like a used tampon. He can lick a million Oreos and beat the Pasties 25 more times with helmet-caught jumpers, but that wah-wah move is still 100 types of garbage. Curt Flood he is not.

Also, I'm pretty sure that a quick polling of Giants fans would show that they were wishing they kept Rivers as late as the midway point of last season (tho I'll probably get bapped on the noggin for claiming that).

didnt he say he wasnt going to play for sd and then the chargers drafted him anyway?

so with that and the shottenheimer (maybe his shit will work in the playoffs!) and un creative uglyman norv turner you have a winning franchise

yeah, clearly quickly and swiftly ended trade negotiations between an unhappy player and two teams where everyone wins (in a day and age where it is really common for players to sit out the entire training over, like, whether or not the toilet paper in the facility is to their liking and thus kind of screw over their whole team they already play for!) is a horrible, douchebaggy situation in which people should still be harping on WHAT AN ASSHOLE that guy was years later.

seriously fuck off, guys. and yes, jimmy mod is right -- he and his handlers were VERY CLEAR before the draft that his was not interested and was not going to play for them, so why don't you actually figure out the situation before you shoot your mouth off, dave? the chargers took a gamble and lost, they thought they could bully a player who was TRYING to negotiate with them into playing for them.

remember back in the '80s when certain very well liked and respected players refused to play in the NFL for years and played for the usfl instead because there was absolutely no leverage given to players back then? those days were the best, we should go back to them.

seriously, i'm sick of half of this board bringing up the eli trade like it's an unusual situation or even anything that was that terrible or like ANY of you are chargers fans or if you were that the chargers got fucked over (cf that ridiculous claim that giants fans wanted rivers "back"--that goes both ways, right? until midway last season, the chargers thought they had won that one!)! jesus christ, guys.

and that is all i'm going to say about it because quite frankly i'm pretty sure anyone who calls expected and swiftly handled trade negotiations "wah-wah moves" is a damn fool who is not worth educating on the issue.

THE END.

all i'm saying is that next time maybe you betta ask somebodaaaaaaaaaaay.

:/

Yeah, I forgot about Eli saying he wouldn't sign before the draft, though I have to sympathize w/ SD's predicament -- they have the #1 pick, they have a player they want to draft, and it comes out a few days before the draft that he's not willing to sign if drafted (most probably as a ploy by SD's front office to erode Eli's pro-NY resolve), but they were most definitely stuck in a shitty situation.

And, to be honest, I didn't realize about the whole USFL / NFL thing, so I'm just doing AWESOME on this front. But player / owner relations are totally different (and more pro-player) than they were TWENTY PLUS YEARS AGO and bringing it up is just talking about a boogeyman that doesn't exist.

Also, aside from all this, and even if you agree or disagree that Eli was in the right to leverage his situation to play for the team he wanted to play for -- his petulant draft day behavior was some bullshit (tho I can't say I'd have acted any better @ his age).

But I'll concede that I should've checked myself before I wrecked myself.

All in all, though, even if trophies are forever, it seemed to work out for SD (if Wikipedia's reliable @ all):

Giants received
Rights to 2004 1st Overall Pick, Eli Manning.

Chargers received
Rights to 2004 4th Overall Pick, Philip Rivers.
2005 1st Round Draft Pick - Used to draft and sign Linebacker Shawne Merriman.
2004 3rd Round Draft Pick - Used to draft and sign Kicker Nate Kaeding.
2005 5th Round Draft Pick - Traded to Tampa Bay Buccaneers for Left Tackle Roman Oben.

And really all I wanted to know was WHY IS RIVERS AN ASSHOLE which I fucked up by throwing in pointless anti-Eli troll-bait but really WHY IS RIVERS AN ASSHOLE.

guys who cares

anyway

I mean, Payton was a soft-spoken guy like LT, but nobody ever thought he was soft. Today I watched LT cruise out of bounds instead of staying in and fight for more yards and it made me really mad. That is classic LT. I understand that he's hurt, but Sproles would have picked up 5-10 more yards there for sure because the dude WANTS it.

― polyphonic, Tuesday, September 23, 2008 12:10 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark

was it third down and he was short of the first? if not, who cares

not taking unecessary hits is prob a big part of what's made him so durable & valuable over the course of his career

he chargers took a gamble and lost, they thought they could bully a player who was TRYING to negotiate with them into playing for them.

This isn't what happened. The Chargers had been trying to trade down all week, and they drafted Manning because he had the highest perceived value because they intended to get something for him, which they did. They had been holding out to try to pry Osi from the Giants, but NY liked him too much and they settled for the package described above. The Chargers never had any intention of making Manning their QB, and the weird revisionism on it is just strange.

SD might have considered him if he seemed at all interested, but the Mannings made it very clear that they weren't, and AJ Smith doesn't like being told what to do (to a fault), so he decided to stick it to Manning AND get some more picks AND get the guy for whom he had the bigger boner, so much so that he tossed Drew Brees aside like warm garbage.

but yeah why is philip rivers a d-bag?

i think the new consensus is he is not.

I think he's a d-bag because he's a professional athlete, and a quarterback at that.

i loled @ rivers trying to chase down favre and the announcers all like "rivers wants to shake hands with his hero brett favre" and brett's like "eh lemme talk to LT"

was it third down and he was short of the first? if not, who cares

not taking unecessary hits is prob a big part of what's made him so durable & valuable over the course of his career

No, it wasn't third down. I guess it's a philosophical thing, and yeah, I guess it keeps him healthy, but I don't like watching dudes leave so many yards on the field. I didn't see a lot of effort from LT last night, and I didn't see much last year either. It doesn't help that the OL hasn't played as well, and I know he's not at 100% right now, but he seems profoundly average. I'd like to see Jacob Hester get more carries so that LT can get healthy.

you know maybe lt's cooked - lotta mileage there eh

Don't think I haven't considered the possibility.

he might have hit the alexander wall

guys no. he's just hurt!

isn't sean alexander like 50 and lt is 27 or something?

Alexander is two years older than LT.

Alexander started to suck two years ago.

guys what are we going to call week four thread

okay fine

xpost

Rolling Patriots Season Into The Shitbin Thread

(lazy)

ally already started the week 4 thread! "it's the achilles heel of his foot!"

i am so furious with all you lt haters right now

I was hoping for "Primates need comfort even more than they need food": NFL Week 4.

LT is fine, give him at least till a third of the way into the season guys!

Who's hating?!?!? I see two guys -- one a diehard Charger fan -- legitimately concerned about the mileage on LT's body, and looking at a rather frightening parallel. If anything, it's more like "pessimistic pragmatism" with a tiny dash of "ON NO THE COMMIES" paranoia.

(xpost)

I love LT, and I really really really want him to retire with more touchdowns than Terrell Owens.

well, i'm not really furious, i'm just worried now.

I think we need to post that pic of Happy Romeo Crenell about 90 times right now, to offset all the bad juju.

i love LT and i want him to come back and finish with 1500 yds and 20 tds this year and a super bowl win over the cowboys (in which romo loses six fumbles and cries after each one)

lt cries too - also he has a hill in his back yard - he runs up it

last year afc title.. LT took himself out after a few carries, what happened there, i remember him just sitting off by himself the rest of the game. i really can't hate on rivers to be honest

He was trying to play through ligament damage and it was obvious that he wasn't helping the team by playing.

i'm not worried abt LT, cuz i saw this coming (*goony smirk*)

for real tho, he's on the edge of 30 which is basically 90 in runningback years, and to my untrained eye he looked half a step slower last year. being half a step slower than the best RB in the game aint so bad tho, and i think with his skillset - he's wayyyyyyyyyyyy more versatile than SA ever was - he should be good for a while longer than yr typical RB, even if he isn't quite so dominant a year or two from now.