Dane Cook is the worst thing to ever happen to comedy.

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (215 of them)

Isn't it funny how you say you hate these people but can't stop talking about them? You people need to grow up and get a fucking life. If you really hate these people, then don't talk about them. Christ

― damn you're all thick, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:06 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck off, cunt

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:10 (eighteen years ago) link

You spent 10 minutes (including spell check) typing out 3 sentences on an internet message board telling people on an internet message board not to "talk" about people they don't like because you like them. Are you sure that was a wise use of your time?

Also, your sensitive plea for tolerance is undermined by your fake email address.

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:10 (eighteen years ago) link

why do you critocize dane when what has he done notihng to you. he is an awesome guy i met him once he was so cool he signed my cd and i told him to sign my bong and he did. do any of your band idols do that? i bet you fagz listent to mariah carey and her butt buddy ahley simpson dont you losers

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:14 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm fod up cos all you wanna do is critocize

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

don't call us fagz, you asked a dude to sign your bong. sometimes a bong is just a big ceramic cock you know.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:21 (eighteen years ago) link

More like Dane Cock amirite?

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:22 (eighteen years ago) link

ok know im beng harsh but you all need lighting up with my 'creamic' cock and then maybe youd understand the sublety of danes humorous

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

yes, mariah carey and ahley simpson have anal sex. with their penises.

I clicked on this thread to impart my tale of how Dane Cook played Boston recently, and people at my university were offering up tickets they'd bought in advance (and paid around one hundred dollars for) for free. So hopefully that ship has sailed. Or maybe we just don't understand Dane's humorous.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Didn't Dane Cook's comedy CD break sales records? For comedy albums? Or something?

This guy is a GOD to hordes of college students, I've witnessed the Dane-worship firsthand

Also the ladies love him

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I CANT BELIEVE HES FUCKING JESS SIMPSON

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:15 (eighteen years ago) link

dam straight, my gf wants a fantasy 3some with me her and dane, hes the only man i would lett screw my gf, except maybe tommy lee, but dane is the man and he gets buckets of trim

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:18 (eighteen years ago) link

i vote animal poster of the year

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:19 (eighteen years ago) link

i hav a poster of dimebag on the wall

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:22 (eighteen years ago) link

me too wit his bro vinny

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm still interested in hearing more about how Ashlee Simpson and Mariah Carey are butt buddies. I hate being teased!

― Cunga (Cunga), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

the best concert ever wood be dane and dimebag and fucking bob marley and, like dane would bring the laguhing, marley the spiritual and the weed, and dimebag the weed and the fucking power and the riffs and the weed.

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

I wish Smash would post to ILX again

― JW (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:33 (eighteen years ago) link

cunga man you seen requiem for dreams? that shit with the junkies and the chjick she connects ass dildos with other girls for money and shit? jennifer connely, she was in the labyrnth. i dont know any facts about mariah and ashlee they just suck donkey balls

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I remember the Labyrinth playing on Disney Channel in the early-90s alright. David Bowie was as scary as you got for a little boy.

― Cunga (Cunga), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:50 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah themuppets are effin scary and shit, bowie is like the 80's muppet man. i used watch this when the babysiter came and she was smokin' but iwas like 4 and it wouldnt work out ya know? i got scared when she told mne the goblins comin to get meman arrr! but bowie is like evil in this moviee i bet the thing is hes really nice and in personable

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:56 (eighteen years ago) link

you don't want tommy lee fucking your gf unless you want her to get hepatitis!

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:59 (eighteen years ago) link

well its a fantasy mange a tois, in real life id be all, hey dude get yer innoculashions and shit

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Cook often refers to specific places or things using his own slang terms. For instance: Burger King is the "BK Lounge"
- wikipedia

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I CAN'T WAIT TO USE HIS SLANG WITH MY REAL PALS

― gbx (skowly), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Jessica Simpson is back in the USA from her down under trip to Australia and she has been welcomed home with more speculation that she is deeply involved in a love triangle with hunky co-star Dane Cook and his girlfriend and rocker Raquel Houghton.

Are Jess and Dane an Item?

Cook and Jess have both denied any romantic relationship.

But the actress has reportedly been spotted taking in Dane's comedy club shows (where he is cracking jokes about infidelity) and Alan Smith is now reporting that Jess has wrecked the hunky comment with his live-in love Raquel.

This is the story according to the Enquirer.

***

"Jessica couldn't resist Dane and vise-versa," revealed a friend of Jessica to the magazine. "Dane is her first full blown love affair."

Now it gets complicated.

The report details that Raquel has threatened to move out on Dane since she found out about the steamy affair. Jessica's rep told the magazine that since filming ended the comedian is back with Raquel but the weekly cites a source that says otherwise.

"Jessica is a sucker for a guy that makes her laugh - and (Nick) wasn't very funny," the source reveals.

***

Jess and Dane reportedly made a pact to keep the affair secret - both have indeed denied the affair several times - but the pair were reportedly spotted in several New Mexico nightspots holding hands and raising eyebrows.

If the details of this are accurate - who will Dane choose?

--Kate S. Campbell

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:22 (eighteen years ago) link

dane inspired my rap dreams

dane is a playa the poon-tang slaya the bk lounge is where he eats the whopper, gayer

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Looks like Dane finally got around to googling himself. A+!

― John Justen (johnjusten), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:26 (eighteen years ago) link

im jus playin my roomate chris made that shit up, hes real good at shit like that.

the bud is kind, inspires ya mind!

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:28 (eighteen years ago) link

no effin way thats not dane, he wouldnt post messages on here

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:29 (eighteen years ago) link

shit man, if thats dane, fuck, man you are a god brah!

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:30 (eighteen years ago) link

PEACE

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:31 (eighteen years ago) link

ok i dont like you anymore. too forced. keep it subtle, mang.

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah I nominate animal as worst poster of the year

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:19 (eighteen years ago) link

He's similarly annoying on other threads

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:20 (eighteen years ago) link

you both are new. fah q!

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:23 (eighteen years ago) link

bite me

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:28 (eighteen years ago) link

i cant im bizzy biting yer mom

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:36 (eighteen years ago) link

you're hurting her :(

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:48 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck yall im screwin both yer mamas

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 06:05 (eighteen years ago) link

im comin down off this buz hard im not feelin this thred aynmore

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 06:09 (eighteen years ago) link

yall dont like dane anyway, but you shoud buy his cds, your tune will change after words

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 06:11 (eighteen years ago) link

I decided to google Dane Cook to see what this fuss was about. Oh dear! Not Funny At All.

I don't mind My Name is Earl though. It's amiable enough.

― David Orton (scarlet), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 10:22 (eighteen years ago) link

my favorite it the "Roomates" section

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 22:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Dane Cook is a f!^%@#ing wanker! He reminds me of one of those locker room guys who, deep inside, has such a low self-esteem of himself. Really. A quarter of the people who knows him thinks he's funny coz they have even more complex deep-seated issues than he does. Good example would be Jessica Simpson and jocks who think it's macho to relate with a guy like Cook (hey! maybe Jess really is a jock! ever wondered abt tht transvestite smile of hers??), another quarter laughs at his jokes coz they are good human beings who just don't have the heart to witness a wanker be completely dissapointed with his life tht he decideds to jump off the stage and kills himself in the process, second-final quarter would rather see him dead and talk shit about him, whilst the final quarter just can't give a shit about him. Oh how I wish I belong to the final quarter!

― Armani Ibrahim, Wednesday, 3 May 2006 10:48 (eighteen years ago) link

pls more info on mariah/jess butt action

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:05 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

http://www.redban.com/blogy/?p=51

dane steals from louis ck! fucking hack.

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Friday, 28 July 2006 18:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Definitely brings back the old "Dennis Leary steals from Bill Hicks" days...

The thing that both cases have in common--same material, much better delivery second time around. I certainly don't think Dane Cook is a brilliant, original comedian, but I respect his presentation of the material. I also think that if he was fat and unattractive, this thread wouldn't even exist in he first place.

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 28 July 2006 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

i like handsome comedians. michael ian black is good and so is jalapeno on a steeek guy.

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Friday, 28 July 2006 19:06 (seventeen years ago) link

you think dane cook delivers material better than louis ck? you are a fool, mr blanchard.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 28 July 2006 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 115 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

This thread has been locked by an administrator

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.