mom placation was ironing by which mens perrypops in a womansuit is the new child mystericating teats that can taint baconated digestive broads plastercasting gnostically from the great gospel wwjh

it's okay - i'm too busy playing with my new presents to be sad! holy shit i got so much cool stuff:

1. 'counterpoint' - photography book by parkeharriso
2. 'the upset' - contemporary lowbrow artists
3. two volumes of willa cather works from library of america
4. signed copy of 'drop city' by t.c. boyle
5. THREE smashing pumpkins dvds, two of which i used to have but don't work on US players, and the newest one
6. first edition of 'call if you need me' by raymond carver, to replace my cheap paperback
7. beautiful letterpress printed book 'proofs' by john crombie from kickshaws press
8. 'horsebucket' by carol es
9. signed first of 'microserfs' by douglas coupland
10. beautiful matt furie print, 1/10, with romantic birthday note from jordan on the back
11. chapbook of prose poetry from palOmine press
12. a wooden object that is a special tool for creating precise signature holes (for making books)
13. a large and expensive bottle of my favourite perfume
14. a super special present that i am getting sometime in january, but jordan won't tell me what it is (some kind of special book, is my guess)

i can't find it!

Oh fucking hell tza, that is just the WORST. Please to check if Mercury in retrograde or something, damn.

this is just the icing on a shit week but damn. what karmic gods did i offend!?

OMG maybe things will be better because i just got a check from my school for $499.90 that they "forgot" to apply to my tuition this semester!

OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUST1N3!!!!

tza, I hope that check is a sign of good things to come. LOTS of them!

OMG I AM SO COLD ;_;

ugh i gotta go shovel

ugh me too, and I am so not used to this.

I hope neither of you froze to death. This weather is absurd.

No chance, got one of our snowblowing neighbours to give me a hand. 10 minutes later, job done.

i just fapped with ned and libcrypt, and made my first ever 911 call...

heading out of sf, just about to get on the freeway, tons of traffic, and we notice that our lane is not moving and tons of cars are cutting out. we finally decide to follow suit after we realise the car in front of us isn't moving. as we pull alongside i see this guy slumped over so i called 911. wasn't anywhere for us to pullover and it was pouring with rain... hope the guy is okay.

i have finally made it home after a very long day. so glad to be here!
how was lib?

libcrypt was way cool, really nice dude.

1. Snowblowers are awesome and this year pretty much necessary
2. I hope that guy was okay, too; good for you for calling 911. I hope your FAP was enjoyable other than that!
3. Yay, tehresa made it home!

j. and j. and lib and his wife = all the roxor. :-)

Ned! Have to solve a California mystery over the hols concerning relatives who owned a giant construction company in LA/OC in early C20, can you help? They built, amongst other things, Huntington Beach Pier.

Wow, J -- glad you guys called 911! Mental image of all these people just driving away as if nothing more than a stuck car not cool, good thing you tried to alert someone and w/o sounding like a hippy, good karma there.. Also sounds like you had a fab birthday. Me, just killing time until Mom gets back from Florida at 1am.

Justine and Jordan were totally great peeps and I was seriously awed by meeting the (in)famous Ned R! A+++ FAP; would fap again!

i'm so jealous of this fap!

Me, too!!!!!

It were great it were.

S., let me get back to you on your question later in the week when I can more readily get hold of people who might know...

Thanks Ned, I'm looking for stuff that happened btwn 1912-1920, hit me up on Facebook as don't want to incur the wrath of the interweb, if you know what I mean! All the stuff is on public records that are ringfenced so genealogy obsessives will pay for the info. We're trying to find out what happened to a family trust.

^^^ suzy has made us all afraid of the genealogy mafia!

fuck the genealogy mafia with beesticks

What's a geneaology mafia? I hope it's not the DAR or somesuch, my gran wouldn't join on principle (I didn't blame her).

I just think it's wrong that I can't check all voter, census or newspaper records to find out WTF happened to my great-grandfather, his father and his uncle.

I think the important question here is "what is a beestick?!"

Oh, that too.

Damn, I'm bored. I've done the shoveling and idiot cold-callers keep phoning my mom's landline and when she is not home, they ask if they can phone tomorrow. Finally I said 'on Christmas Eve?' Use your brain OH WAIT you're in a call centre QED.

"beestick" = "stick with bees on it"

Thanks for that clarification, Daniel.

suzy, being bored is bad. I have no good suggestions other than to hide in a warm bed and read trashy fiction. I would do that myself, except I have articles to read and online "discussion questions" to answer.

I'm still none the wiser as to waht is genealogy mafia.

I'm going Uptown and Downtown momentarily, it's much warmer than it was, but first a little lunch so I don't pig out on the road.

"genealogy mafia" = "something that gets created when Sara misreads one of your posts"

OIC> We'll miss you and Joei when drinking later this week!

Likewise (only when I say "later this week" I mean "tonight" ^_^)

"genealogy mafia" = "something that gets created when Sara decides to make up new organizations that should exist if they don't"

Can I start drinking now, plz?

NO

^^^ v.v. mean

Wow, Christmas makes John MEAN.

as long as i am at work, no one drinks

to give you all an idea of my mood, the last set of customers i had were a mom and her 15 year old daughter, who told me to "go fuck myself" when i asked her if she could put out her grape-scented blunt while she was in the store.

sara - a blunt is a kind of cigar, often used as a marijuana cigarette.

It's good to know that the same spirit of Christmas is embodied in shoppers every year.

(More seriously, UGH, how did you not punch them? Also, I'm boggling over anyone smoking *anything* that is grape-scented. WTF)

I have made a huge mistake in starting to read Charlotte's Web out loud to J. We're getting to the end, and it is REALLY getting to me.

Sara I am now going to eat SOME PIG in salami form perhaps.

Oh, and BONUS ran into Matos in Macy's.

okay, suzy, you make me lol, so THANX

Hey guys. I've been cooking and cleaning non-stop since Friday. Just finished a cheesecake and am going to have a glass of wine and a bite before collapsing.

Tomorrow I'm off to the in-laws and then rushing back home before my family descends like locusts on Thursday.

I hope you're all well and FINISHED WITH SCHOOL

:)

Susan, good luck with all that holiday-ing! I hope you can relax and enjoy a bit. (Glass of wine can't hurt, right?)

My in-laws won't be here until the 28, so I have a bit of time before I panic about the house.

Anyway, travel safely, Susan, and merry Christmas!!!

Holy F'in shit. . .I was just looking at the recipe of the cheesecake I made. Calories per serving: 754

I cannot in good conscience serve this. Jesus. I should have noticed that first.

Ya'll have a good holiday too. Pls stay warm mlps. I worry about you getting buried beneath snow or something.