mom placation was ironing by which mens perrypops in a womansuit is the new child mystericating teats that can taint baconated digestive broads plastercasting gnostically from the great gospel wwjh

but srsly, ned are you like, the wedding planner? do you get a headset? will you call out moves to the waiters?

plz to shop ned in http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f7/NickAndJess/846212The-Wedding-Planner-Video-Rel.jpg

hahahahahahahahahahaha

i think he would sub for j-lo quite perfectly.

can you tell i'm bored?????

i have been sitting here since 10. the phone has rung twice. both times it was my boss calling to see if anyone called.

Hahaha to all this.

The official legal bit of the marriage is separate from this, this is the 'get everyone together for good food and drink' part. I'm reading the vows to ET's blushing bride and a friend of hers is reading the other part to ET, etc. etc. I was a bit of a last-minute stand-in -- I'd long been invited to the wedding itself but ET dropped me a line last week going "Hey! Can you do this?"

this sounds neat!

I ain't complaining! Rehearsal dinner tonight.

I so want to see photos of this. (NED, what are you going to *wear*?!)

would it be bad if i started watching tv on hulu?

NED, what are you going to *wear*?!

What, for the wedding? Same formal outfit I wore in that one other wedding photo of mine that was the default photo of me for a while. Tried and true.

the one with the purple tie?

yes, yes it would. i just wasted an hour reading wikipedia articles on sex acts.

and that is a better alternative?

i just wish i had an hour back.

though i have decided that writing wikipedia articles is kinda like participating in a blind orgy.

the one with the purple tie?

Precisely. And it IS purple.

So perfect.

Nice. I, however, could NOT pull off a purple tie.

No, dear, but you have your own special qualities.

You look great alseep on a couch with a blanket over your head, for example.

I really need to get those photographs online.

Just reread over the stuff I'm reading at the wedding -- very mushy, and that's a compliment! Among other things I get to break out the Shakespeare.

Which is kinda funny since I just added the Shakespeare app for the iPhone. Maybe I should read it from that!

There's a Shakespeare app for the iPhone? Good lord.

Very nice reading you get to do!

I had to read something at my SIL's wedding; it was some bit of Rilke, I think. I have basically blocked it out. Yours sounds much better!

rilke's nice!

I wish I could remember what it was, specifically. I'm sure I thought it was fine... I just don't have a clue now!

It was a *tiny* wedding; I think there were only about 10 people there. Just immediate family. They had my husband make cheesecakes for dessert.

Awwww I was hoping ned had got a priesting licence and was going to officiate.

Actually I do have one from some years back but it's never been put into practice.

strangely, no one ever asks me to read anything at their wedding. it is as if i can not be trusted.

"...I now pronounce you BATMANG AND OTHER BATMANG!"

"i now pronounce me drunk"

I now pronounce words.

I now pronounce the bride's ass "bitchin'".

i now pronounce me rly annoyed for being on hold for like 10 min and not even any music, just dead air.

here sing this to yourself

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance
I have never seen that dress you're wearing
Or the highlights in your head that catch your eyes I have been blind
The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody here, it's just you and me, It's where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never for get, the way you look tonight

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright you were amazing
I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled, It took my breath away
I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

The way you look tonight
I never will forget, the way you look tonight
The lady in red
The lady in red
The lady in red
My lady in red (I love you.)

if it makes you feel better, most of the companies that put me on hold have YOWZA SHREDDER GEETAR PLAYING WHEEDLY WHEEDLY YAAAAAAAAAA hold music

also, short loops of above ._.

I've never told my story about why that song is (srsly) the saddest song in the world for me, have I?

Not to me at least.

Okay, this I have to hear.

Also, if I ever got married again, I would totally want Ned to officiate.

Maybe John and Dan could sing a duet.

Okay now I'm formulating the most fun Vow Renewal ceremony ever in my mind.

Dan, you're going to tell us about why "Lady in Red" is so sad to you, right?

Unfortunately it's not a funny story (I apologize for that upfront and warn you so that you aren't expecting me to unleash teh funniez halfway through):

In eighth grade, I had a huge huge huge huge crush on this girl in my class named L1z Chr1st3ns0n. One thing in particular was this sparkly red sweater she liked to wear a lot that looked completely awesome on her; whenever I saw her in it, I would mentally play the song "Lady In Red" and imagine us dancing/making out.

I had had some really awful experiences getting shot down by girls (THANKS R0BIN) so I was hesitant to ask her out, but one Friday I said to myself "screw it, I'm going to ask her if she wants to go out with me on Monday; enough of this nonsense".

She was killed in a stupid car-racing accident that Saturday, oddly enough just down the road from where my parents' house is.

This is why "The Lady In Red" signifies lost opportunity and unrealized teenage love to me.

Damn.

This is also why I get unreasonably upset when people make fun of that song.

The flip side, of course, is the possibility that if I had asked her out and she'd said yes, I might have been in that car, too. Or she may not have been. Or maybe she would have totally been all "uh, NO" the way R0bin was.

Circumstance is a funny thing sometimes.

Dan, :(

that's all I've got. but it's sincere.

Without wanting to seem trite and dismissive of the :(s this thread has ruled while I have been out drunking. (Found somewhere in London that does Sierra Nevada on tap)

and Ned, pls to marry me.

Oh, that's so sad, Dan!

I knew her, a little bit. L1z was T4mmy R0send4hl's best friend; I was close friends with T4mmy's older sister, T1na in junior high. So... I knew L1z to talk to. (This is going to sound completely bizarre, I suppose, but whenever I've visited the cemetery she's buried in, I usually walk past her grave and give her some good thoughts.)

:(