JJJUSTEN MAKES ONE SENTENCIRIFIC REVIEWS OF ALL THE CRAP THAT HE WATCHES LATE AT NIGHT ON NETFLIX STREAMING XBOX SOMETHING WHY BECAUSE HE BORED ALSO BECAUSE

Aftermath - On the plus side, its filmed by a dude with an amazing eye for detail and color and shot choice and its short, but the downside is that it is a 30 minute clinical detached gorecrazy look at hyperreal autopsy footage and necrophilia, not really sure how to rate this because its so so odd, def not a horror film, but gaaaaaah, and yet the craft is completely spectacular, so basically i cant help but feel like its a really gifted filmmaker who has chosen to make a film that NO ONE really wants to see. A- and F at the same time?

wow this thread makes me seem like 90% of the time my film choices are completely insane huh

just so yall dont start to think im some creepy dude with all my windows covered in black plastic and a cd of looped animal torture sounds playing, i also watched "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" on DVD and once it found its stride it was pretty awesome. also 2LDK which was really pointless and dumb

Don't be silly, John. Everyone knows you are a creepy dude with your windows covered in black plastic and a cd of looped animal torture sounds playing (insert Skinny Puppy joke here).

But it's all part of your charm! ;)

This Is England - Really amazing semi-autobiographical early 80s coming of age movie rooted in the skinhead culture of the time (both racist and non) w/great script, great performances, an amazing eye for the details of the underpinnings of friendships and gang mentalities and the grey areas between the two, totally compelling and a must see A+

You Kill Me - Hitman AA romcom with ben kingsley and tea leoni that rolls out pretty slow but has some great moments and even if the ending is a little misguided and cheap its still worth the path to get there, despite the subject matter really kind of a light comedy, but a decent way to spend an evening and a couple really perfect comedic moments marred by a few standard tropes that seem kinda tacked on and have the whiff of studio interference but what do i know. B+

The Art of the Steal - Extremely biased documentary about the controversy surrounding the fate of the Barnes Foundation collection of modern art, stunning, fascinating, infuriating, perfect in every single possible way really you should just stop bothering to read my drivel and just go watch it right now A+

Dreams with Sharp Teeth: Doc about Harlan Ellison, which teaches you exactly one thing, that if you weren't already aware, Harlan Ellison is a hilarious crazy motherfucker with some dark secrets, but its a lot of fun learning that one thing, pretty gripping because dude is just captivating on screen, despite the fact i dont think ive read any of his stuff A-

dont worry i still watch stuff i hate sometimes, this cuddlebuddy lovefest will be interrupted soon i swear

lies, you are now a total care bear

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs311.snc4/40890_462190210548_544085548_6729190_2679193_n.jpg

!!

hahahahahaha

hey jj what is your strategy for finding this stuff? do you browse on the computer or rely on the xbox suggested viewing queues?

i have a queue full of 'classics' that have been on my list forever and i never both to look at it

watched most of "The Art of the Steal" last night, thought it was interesting despite the redundancy and hyperbole. Looking forward to watching the last half-hour someday.

yeah i dont do any of it on the xbox suggested, that seems A)annoying B)kinda poorly updated. i use instantwatcher.com a lot, especially to get a rundown of what is just releasing. other than that its just kinda the down the rabbit hole sorta approach - you start diggin in the documentary section and theres loads of good stuff for instance.

xpost: yeah i need to call my friend in philly who is a museum curator (historical not art) and see if i can get the inside story on the whole thing. if u take the movie as accurate it def makes you cringe as to how many times you hear credits to the pew charitable trust and the annenberg foundation on NPR.

instantwatcher.com

intersting

ok what the fuck

http://instantwatcher.com/titles/100200

# 17 with a bullet

uh

(btw since I can't find anywhere else to put this kinda stoked that the "Red Riding" trilogy just ended up on streaming since i meant to see it in the theater and then kinda forgot)

yeah i'm hyped for that! was it ever in theaters around here?

(btw since I can't find anywhere else to put this kinda stoked that the "Red Riding" trilogy just ended up on streaming since i meant to see it in the theater and then kinda forgot)

why did glowing vampire taints make you think of that

"kinda forgot" in this case being shorthand for "ended up in uptown and then got drunk enough that i didnt get around to seeing the movie i went there for."
xpost

yeah it had a one week run at the uptown i think

ok netflix needs to stop being stupid and get part 1 of the trilogy on streaming u fucking clowns

omg

Below - thriller/suspense/ghost? thing helmed by the dude who did pitch black and partially written by darren aronofsky (but not enough to fuck it up) that is all based on a WWII era us submarine w/early role by zach galifinakis and like 30 other people that you will recognize for sure, some jump scares but def not gorehoundy, and man oh man implacable dread of something being wrong combined with the no escape vibe of submarine being hunted by a german warship is thick heady suspense fodder, and as a result this movie is way better than expected and in fact is kinda awesome! A-

there is a scene in below that might make it into my top ten creepy moments of movies in the 2000s

i've been trying to get people to watch this film for years, it totally owns. what moment is the top ten creepy one btw. the mirror?

yep!

this red riding 1st part problem grows more annoying by the day, since i have part 2 and 3 just sitting there taunting me.

maybe ill just get the DVD and OH WAIT THE DVDS DONT RELEASE UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH

City of the Living Dead last night - its a blur-headed unfocused mess plotwise, but yeah the gore scenes are pretty nuts, and the upside down graveyard is kind of amazing, lots of laughable no $ effect things like the badly felt covered styrofoam coffin, but man when it hits it hits hard, and i will always be a fan of the camera flashes to ZOMBIE (albeit zombie generally = actor w/some jello on their face with living grubs stuck in it) without warning, not for the squeamish despite being 30 years old - Fulci is a mad bastard with really very little interest in tastefulness. B+

(BONUS COMMENTARY: the scene where the actress pukes her (literal) guts out while her eyes pour out blood was accomplished by finding an actress that was actually willing to EAT TRIPE AND THEN REGURGITATE IT ON CAMERA according to imdb. GOOD TIMES!)

Wow, it REALLY took a lot to get a job in those days!

red riding 1974 finally on instant watch btw

hey john have you tried watching it yet? i started, but it died at about the 1 hour mark. i've restarted my computer multiple times but it just goes to the same point in the movie and stops buffering at 49%. but watching any other movie is fine. is it just my computer??

Haven't tried yet, but wow will I be irritated if that is the case.

it works all the way through for me?

speaking of:

Red Riding: 1974 - well i wasnt exactly expecting a romp but this is def a cheerless movie, pretty much dark and dank all the way through, gorgeous visually, perhaps a bit slower than you might expect and built with a strange uneven pace although it is never really boring so much as slightly unfocused and semi-coherent, also its kinda motivationally lacking for a bunch of the characters, not sure why some things were key and others were sorta just dropped by the side, eh still pretty good tho. B

just watched all three of these today. pretty grim, v complicated plot (altho that may have just been me), beautifully filmed.

ok so as a cooldown lap from crazy visitor weekend, we spent monday night watching terrible b-movies, so ive got a bunch of these.

Fear Chamber - Boris Karloff in one of his last roles (maybe last idk) plays a scientist who leads his son to discover a intelligent rock formation that feeds human on human fear so he captures ladies at the "Institute for Employment of Foreign Women" and scares the bejesus out of them and extracts their fear energy in a big ole syringe which of course sounds like it cant miss but unfortunately the entire film transfer is actually slightly out of focus, and produced in english by a mexican production company so EVERYONE is overdubbed and the titular fear chamber looks suspiciously like a shitty state fair trailer mounted haunted house with the addition of a sex dwarf(!) and a scary lesbian and a mental patient named lobo that appears to have an ACTUAL lobotomy scar and upon further research may have in fact been cast by getting him on loan from the local mental institution, and also it is just a terrible movie. D (even given the b-movie grading curve im using today. unfun)

to be fair we only made it about 25 minutes in before giving up, so maybe it breaks through and shines in the final acts

"Below" was good!

"New Guy" was pretty awful!

Red Riding: 1980 - def a step up from the first one, didn't realize that its directed by the dude who did man on wire and wisconsin death trip, very different style visually but still v v lush, makes me realize that u brits have it all over us when it comes to the quality of yer tv, realizing that this is a series where paying attention is of the utmost importance, lots of subtle clues etc, also was not expecting paddy considine who is as always awesome, still not the fastest paced thing in the world but seemed to have hit the stride unlike the first one, looking forward to 1983. A-

glad you dug below btw, re: new guy - idk, something in the tone and the sense of humor just hit a sweet spot for me, also doesnt show the seams of its super low budget all that often esp in the acting (which is rare). last 10 minutes is definitely a little bit of "uh waht" tho which is a shame.

I just found the plot twists generally incomprehensible and I thought it looked pretty shabby.

oh i also forgot another one from the b-movie weekend

Spider Baby - straight up no question the funniest so good its bad movie i have seen in many years (maybe ever?), that secret combo of not making any logical sense and being filled with talentless hacks and a script that seems more assembled than written, but with an oddly fast pace which is rare as hens teeth in shit movies like this, def worth giving a shot to on a night where getting drunk and taunting the screen sounds like a good plan. A- (NOTE: GRADED ACCORDING TO UTILITY, NOT ACTUAL QUALITY)

"so good it's bad" eh

ha

this is what happens when i type on ilx while on the phone pretending to pay attention to a dude on the quest for "ULTIMATE TONE"

the title "Spider Baby" is seriously creepy, though!

I hope you sold that dude a Bowflex