mom placation was ironing by which mens perrypops in a womansuit is the new child mystericating teats that can taint baconated digestive broads plastercasting gnostically from the great gospel wwjh

Err towards "African-American"; most people don't care but the ones who do will make your life hell.

This is good to know!

There was a every funny Bloom County many years ago where Steve Dallas was trying to teach his mother the various politically correct terms. Great punchline. Very much of it's time I'd say now.

Afro-Am sounds like a great lost airline from the 70's.

Come Super-fly With Us...

when i was a kid it was advertised as old man candy & made me feel very mature when eating them

Those ads always looked like a p43d0 grooming his mark. See youtube for more.

Passed out at John's. Nice to see J & K, but especially Sara who I don't get to see enough. Ended up passing out at about midnight. I feel funny in my swimsuit area.

Passed out at John's. Nice to see J & K, but especially Sara who I don't get to see enough. Ended up passing out at about midnight. I feel funny in my swimsuit area.

I won't send you link that has been forwarded to all of ILX where you get drunkenly 'introduced' to the backhoe dutchmanhumpingexhaustpipe.jpg style.

I have a lovely photo of FB passed out on the couch, with John looming over him in a somewhat disturbing manner. FB, you are sooooo lucky my camera battery was almost dead.

John and K's house is awesome, btw.

I have a lovely photo of FB passed out on the couch, with John looming over him in a somewhat disturbing manner. FB, you are sooooo lucky my camera battery was almost dead.

That sentence has very little in it to comfort FB!!!

That's probably true, but it made me happy, so.

Really, that's the aim of all of BB's sexual abuse; to make Sara happy.

Lollies without sticks, you new zealish are crazy!

xp Well, why not, when it's so easy?

dear itr, i have negative game. case in point:

w/ potential new $girl @ home on sofa, watching tv, a few drinks into last night:

$girl: ... blah, blah, blah ... since i broke up w. that asshole of a boyfrined ...

remy: (spends ten minutes in weird personal hell trying unsuccessfully to will arm around her shoulder, or lean over for kiss)

remy: (ten minutes later) wow, i'm tired. it's bed time. good night!

ps: this is the second time this has happened.

okay so the THIRD time you are in this situation, AT LEAST GIVE HER A HUG

She is talking about her awful ex so that you have an excuse to comfort her; not comforting her is much less chivalrous than comforting her. If you hug her and she turns towards you and tilts back her head for a kiss, KISS HER.

i know! it is ridiculous! perhaps i will belt back a few slugs of whisky tonight before i see her.

I am in total sympathy with remy here, having tried to will myself into initiating kissing people in the past, and omg TERRIFYING.

BUT.

Dan is exactly right. Also, if she is complaining to you about her ex, she must at least like you enough to share that with you, right? Start with the hug, seriously. You shouldn't need more than one slug of whiskey for that!

if you cant do arm over shoulder start with hand on knee

That seems like it would be harder?

Or maybe just more obvious in intent, which is why it sounds trickier.

a hand on the knee is a good toe in the water. as well as being easier to enact and more easily removed than an arm round the shoulder.

If you can rip your shirt off Hulk Hogan style and shout "IT'S TIME FOR SEXING" and that works, you will be the master of the game.

^^^ I think this only works for people who actually bulk up with muscles and turn green when they rip their shirt off, but I could be wrong.

hand on the knee is more easily accessible. less complex positioning/seating proximity to worry about.

i am also in favor of the hand on the hand, and might be able to manage that with less hyperventilating.

tender hand on hand only works if coupled with (somewhat less tender) roar of "TIME FOR SEXING!".

Really, who wouldn't find that charming?

if it would help, you could send me your phone number and i could call and yell "TIME FOR SEXING" at a predetermined time.

How could that NOT help?

John is always so willing to step up to the plate and lend a helping hand for this type of occasion.

his hand would not be wholly welcome

hand on the knee as a first move is pervstyle if not done at perfect time, arm over shoulder is classic & she will understand if shes at all attracted to you

just gotta go for it

you also have to WHISPER 'time for sexing', thats key

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR

in all seriousness tho the key is to do the arm over shoulder as a hey budddy! kinda thing then see what follows from there

a hey buddy! arm over the shoulder, when executed by yours truly, lord of smoothness, will probably end with me plugging her ear with a misplaced thumb.

Hey, that could have its own charm.

Provided you don't do any permanent damage.

step 1)drink
step 2)have her drink
step 3)say something that makes her laugh
step 4)put your arm around her like she's a bro
step 5)cut a hole in the box

How could she possible miss the message after step 5?

you could always practise with ariane. i have not made it to step 5 yet.

i cant get that bitch out of her goddam living room

sara, if you werent familiar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

hope that gives you more lolz than the salvia clips

If you can rip your shirt off Hulk Hogan style and shout "IT'S TIME FOR SEXING" and that works

I'm trying to imagine Remy doing this and it is a vision.

a vision of AWESOME

i would probably sprain my wrists and suffocate on the collar

xp lol, I'm familiar. It doesn't get less funny to me over time, either.

Pull her hair.

Somehow the pulling her hair technique worked for FB, but I'm not sure it would work for anyone else.

i know im gonna get zinged for this but thats actually really good advice

I could seeing it work if you didn't pull her hair too hard, and if you did it in a very friendly/teasing/jokey way.

I could see it working if you and she are both eight.

and in that case "TIME FOR THE SEXING" should be roared by neither party

xp You need to be in a classroom, learning arithmetic. Arrange to sit behind the object of your affection.

Be careful not to get sent to the principal's office, as this is a sure killer of romance.

aaand theres the zing

srsly i will defend the hairpull till i die, just grab the spot around the nape of the neck & pull down then let go

if she's into you sexually its sexy if she's into you affectionately its affectionate

cant miss move

Step 1: Pretend to eat her toes like they are sausages. Make exaggerated eating and slurping noises.

Step 2: Sing children's songs in tri-tone while staring through her. Keep your mouth slack; if you drool, THIRD BASE.